“You are crying,” he said, touching my face. His fingertip was smeared red.
“Answer my question, Drake. Is this all a plan of yours?”
An odd, irritated look flashed across his face. “You know me better than that. I do not give up that which I possess.”
“Then why did you do just that?” I tried to prop my self up but was still too shaky to do it on my own. Drake helped me into the nearest chair, giving me a glass of water to rinse out my mouth. Gabriel had Fiat cornered, arguing about something. I didn’t care what their problem was. The two of them could go to hell for all I cared.
That can be arranged, the dark power whispered to me.
I shuddered and pushed it away, still sick at heart at what I’d done.
“You didn’t have to do that. I wasn’t going to die, so you were perfectly safe.”
Drake sighed, capturing my attention again. “I do not like this rule of discussing my feelings that you have bound upon me, but I like less the assumption you have made. I yielded because it was the only thing I could do to save you. I was not in a position of power, nor could I count on Gabriel for assistance. I did what was necessary.”
No. It couldn’t be. I shook my head, still disbelieving. Maybe the poison had warped my brain and I was delusional after all. I pulled myself to my feet, swaying against Drake, allowing his warm, hard body to prop me up.
“You know what that means.”
“I do.” His jaw tightened, his eyes flashing with intermingled anger and passion.
My heart, leaden and sick, suddenly was enveloped in a gentle warmth that did much to dispel the ills that had possessed it. “Are you sure? Really sure? It’s not something else? Maybe you’re sick.”
His face grew harder. “Do you think I’m a fool that I could mistake it?”
“No, but you don’t look very happy about it.”
“I’m not,” he snapped, irritation rampant on his handsome features.
A smile curved my lips as I kissed the corners of his mouth, ignoring the presence of those around us. “Are you going to say it?”
“No.”
“Come on. I want to hear it.”
“No!”
I allowed all the love I had for him to show in my eyes as I rubbed my nose on his. “Please?”
His face took on the most martyred expression I’d ever seen. “If I say it once, do I have to say it again?”
“Yes. With increasing frequency. It gets easier with time, honest.”
He sighed again. “I knew this would not come to a good end. Very well, I’ll say it. But I reserve the right to refer you to this conversation on occasions when you wish me to say it again. Aisling, I love you.”
I fought hard to keep the smile off my face. Drake’s declaration of love was delivered in such a brusque tone, I knew it had to be costing him a lot to admit the truth. “I love you, too,” I answered, and welcomed his mouth when it came to claim mine, my heart singing a joyous song of happiness and fulfillment. His mouth was a hot brand, burning mine, searing my lips and tongue with an intensity that was almost painful. I waited for the rush of dragon fire that would follow his touch, wanting it to fill me with his passion and love.
It didn’t come.
“Release my mate,” a cool voice spoke behind us.
I pulled away from Drake, frowning up at him for a second before turning to level the glare of a lifetime at Dmitri. “You annoying little crapbean!”
The room echoed with the sound of the slap I delivered to Dmitri’s face. He looked surprised for a moment, then furious.
“Do you seriously think I would consent to being your mate after you sided with this worm to steal the sept from Drake?”
Fiat said nothing as I gestured toward him, but his hands tightened. I didn’t care how much I insulted him—sept politics be damned.
“You have no choice,” Dmitri answered, giving me an offensively possessive look. My hand itched to slap him again. “You are a wyvern’s mate. I am the wyvern of the green dragons. By the rules that govern the weyr, you are now mine.”
“Just two days ago you refused to acknowledge me as Drake’s mate. You can’t have it both ways!”
“I am the wyvern of the green dragons,” he responded, giving me a slow smile. “I can have anything I want, including you.”
“Like hell! If you think I’m going to stand around and allow a smart-ass upstart to ruin Drake’s life, not to mention mine, you can just think again. I’m not a friggin’ demon lord for nothing!” I snapped, spinning around to find Jim, remembering in time that I’d sent him home to check on István. I opened wide the door in my head and pulled on Drake’s fire. “Effrijim, I summon thee!”
Nothing happened. No fire filled me with power, no demon popped into view. My being was empty of Drake’s fire, completely empty. There wasn’t even a smidgen left of the slow-burning banked fire that had been present ever since I’d accepted him.
“Goddamn it, you stole my fire,” I snarled, wanting to lunge at Dmitri. I ran to Drake instead. Pál had been released by Fiat’s men and stood next to Drake as well, his face hard and blank. I put my hand on Drake’s chest. I could feel the fire in him, its warmth reassuring and comforting. “What happened? Why don’t I have your fire anymore? Is it because you yielded? I know there’s a stupid rule saying I’m not your mate anymore if you’re not wyvern, but that’s just a rule, right? It doesn’t really apply to us.”
His eyes were filled with pain. The sight of it sent my spirits plunging again. “No, kincsem. You are my mate. You will always be my mate. Nothing and no one can change that. The law may say you are mate to Dmitri, but you are mine, and I will not let you go.”
I leaned against him for a minute, drinking in his heat. “Then why can’t I share your fire anymore?” I asked in a whisper. “Is it because of Dmitri?”
His fingers swept over my face, wiping away more hot tears. “I do not think so. I think…” He paused for a moment, his eyes so dark they looked black. “I think you have been proscribed.”
“Proscribed?” I searched my mental dictionary for a meaning and shuddered at the answer. “You mean I’m condemned? I’m damned?”
“Not damned,” he said quickly, raising his gaze to look at Pál. The two of them exchanged a look that left me shivering with cold. I rubbed my arms, aware, now that I’d lost it, just how much warmth and power Drake’s fire had given me.
There is an alternative. You do not have to be helpless, the dark power said.
“What exactly is proscribed, then?” I asked.
Drake’s hands were warm on me. “It is a form of condemnation. It is seldom seen now, but I recall my uncle telling me of a dragon who had been such. It is not…a desired state. But we will find a way to cleanse you, kincsem.”
Perhaps not desired, but is it any worse than being helpless?
The voice of the dark power was growing stronger. Part of me wanted to push it back, ignore it, banish it from my being. But another part shrugged and asked what could be worse than what I’d already done? I accepted Drake’s power before I knew what it was or whether I wanted to spend my life with him. What was different in this situation?
Nothing is different. Power is power. It is the person wielding it who determines whether it is good or evil.
“Aisling’s well-being is no longer any concern of yours,” Dmitri said in an odiously bossy voice. He snapped his fingers, adding, “Come here, mate.”
Mate. Fury filled me at that word on his lips. I looked up at Drake and knew I had to do something. I was not a woman who sat around waiting for others to rescue me. Drake himself had told me I didn’t need rescuing—he had confidence in my power and abilities.
You are a professional, the voice said silkily. You have power at your disposal, great power unlike anything you have known. Do you wish for him to see that, without it, you are weak and helpless?
“Aisling, do not do anything foolish,” Drake warned as I turned around to face Dmitri. “
He is not worth the price you will pay. We will work this out together.”
And how many dragons will die in the inter-sept war that will follow? the dark power asked. How many innocent dragons will die because you did not take a stand when you could have? Do you wish their deaths to be on your soul? Or do you wish to fulfill your role as wyvern’s mate, and protect your sept?
I walked to the center of the room and held out my hands, blinded for a moment as I accepted the power that flowed up from the floor. The sins staining my soul were my own concern, but I would not sacrifice others. “Effrijim, I summon thee!”
Jim’s shape formed at my feet. It looked up at me, pursing its lips. “Man. I never would have thought that of you, Ash.”
“Demon, see thee that dragon there?” I pointed to Dmitri, power rolling through me, filling me with its insidious warmth. I knew what I had to do, and although it was morally wrong, I had no choice. It was the only way I could change things back to the way they were.
Dmitri’s smile dropped, a look of concern replacing it. He glanced nervously at Fiat, who leaned against the wall, a parody of Drake’s bored look on his face. “Aren’t you going to do something?” Dmitri asked him.
“I suppose,” Fiat answered, strolling toward him.
It was my turn to smile. “You’re next on my payback list, Fiat.”
He bowed. “I look forward to it.”
“Um. Aisling? I really don’t think you want to go there,” Jim cautioned, leaning against my leg to get my attention. “It’s not a good idea, no matter what anyone is telling you.”
You have the power. Use it for good.
“Mate, do not do this.” Drake’s voice was warm and calm despite the situation. “Come with me. We will work this out together.”
I pulled the power hard, forming it, focusing it to do what I wanted, its slow heat burning hot in my veins as I narrowed my gaze on Dmitri.
“Fiat?” he asked in a high-pitched squawk, taking a couple of steps to the side. His gaze skittered between me and the blue dragon.
Destroying him will be a pleasure, the voice said. A pleasure and a duty. You must do it to save the others.
I spread my hands, holding the power between them, ready to blast it into Dmitri.
“Do something!” Dmitri screamed, looking frantically at Fiat.
“Aisling! Do not do this,” Drake commanded, starting toward me. “To do so will put you beyond redemption!”
Deal with that later. Right now you have a job to do.
“As you will,” Fiat said as I hesitated, torn between Drake’s warning and my own instincts.
“Ash, this is bad. Really bad. Don’t do it,” Jim said in a low voice, its eyes worried.
The power was warm between my hands. I held it focused, ready to be used, but was confused about what I should do. Use it to save Drake and the dragons and damn myself even further?
You’ve already used the power. How can using a little more hurt? Do not be weak, Aisling. Be instead an instrument of vengeance. Right the wrongs.
“By the laws governing the weyr, I challenge you by lusus naturae for your mate, Aisling Grey.”
I turned to look at the man speaking the challenge. What was Fiat up to now? Why on earth would he want to challenge the man he’d just put into power?
“You…you what?” Dmitri asked, clearly as taken aback as me. “What do you mean? You can’t do this!”
“No? Accept the challenge, and we shall see.”
More deaths. If Fiat wins, that’s what will be the result. Do you want that?
No! my mind screamed, sick of it all. I just wanted to live happily with Drake, being a Guardian, working for the good guys. I didn’t want to be the instrument of vengeance!
“I accept your challenge,” Dmitri said, his voice loud but a bit unsure. “Name the form.”
“Aisling.” Drake’s hands were warm on mine. He gently took them in his, pulling me toward him. “You must listen to me. You said you trusted me.”
I dragged my eyes from Fiat and Dmitri to the man I loved with every atom of my being. “I do trust you.”
The love was there in his eyes, filling me with more happiness than I thought possible. “Then you must listen to me now. To do what you plan is wrong. I know that you desire it for the right reasons, but you must not give in to this new challenge that faces you.”
“You know,” I whispered, mindless of everything but him. “You know I used dark power.”
“Weapons are so vulgar.” Fiat gave a delicate shrug. “Why do we not settle this in the mortal fashion? By fists. That should provide a true test of strength.”
“Very well.” Dmitri adopted a boxing stance, his hands up. “I am ready.”
Drake’s fingertips swept a strand of hair off my face, the touch so gentle it made my knees go weak. “It is evident what you have done, yes.”
“I’m damned forever.” I wanted to cry at the look of regret in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to use it, I really didn’t.”
“I know, kincsem. Your heart is pure. But you cannot risk tainting it, and that is what will happen if you continue down this dark path.”
Beyond us, the two men fought, Dmitri grunting a little as Fiat danced around him.
“I only want to fix things,” I told Drake.
“You wish to destroy Dmitri.” Drake shook his head. “You have not used the dark power for anything harmful, but this is different. It is dangerous. I cannot allow you to do that. You must trust that in this, I am right.”
I almost smiled. There was my bossy dragon, telling me what I could and could not do.
He is wrong. How can using power for good be dangerous?
I pulled my hands from Drake’s, releasing the power, letting it wash from me. I felt weak but righteous, understanding at last what Drake was saying. He was right. I couldn’t use power to destroy someone. Banishing a demon lord couldn’t in any conceivable light be considered bad, but destroying someone for my own gain was entirely different.
“All right, I’ll trust you. But it’ll be a cold day in Abaddon before I’m his mate,” I said loudly, nodding toward where Dmitri was trying to block a punch from Fiat.
The latter stopped. “I’m in complete agreement.”
Before our stunned eyes, Fiat pulled out from his pocket a small gun and shot Dmitri in the face.
24
“Funky eyes and tears of blood aside, you’re looking a bit odd,” Jim said.
I dragged my gaze from the form of Dmitri spread out on the floor, a pool of blood beneath his head, to my demon. I was literally struck speechless.
Not so Jim. “Stuff always happens around you. Never a dull moment and all that. It’s better than TV.”
I shook my head, trying to clear my befuddled mind. There was just too much to take in.
“Gabriel?” Drake asked, nodding toward Dmitri’s body.
“If his brain is destroyed, we won’t be able to bring him back to consciousness,” Gabriel answered, taking a step toward Dmitri.
“No,” Fiat answered, holding up a hand that stopped Gabriel in his tracks.
The latter didn’t like that. “Fiat, stand down.”
“I think not. You made an excellent point. Dmitri could well recover from a single bullet to the head.” Fiat glanced down at the man at his feet for a few moments, then cold-bloodedly shot him a couple more times.
I screamed and lunged forward to stop him, but Drake’s hand shot out and caught my arm, reeling me back in until I was flush with his body.
“That, I believe, will dispense with any question as to whether or not Dmitri is still wyvern.” Fiat bowed to Drake, who stood stiffly beside me. “You have your sept back. I hope you do not abuse it again.”
“You shot Dmitri!” I all but yelled, unable to believe my eyes.
Fiat’s attention turned to me. His face wore its usual pleasant, unperturbed expression, as if nothing at all untoward had happened. “I believe the evidence would be impossible to deny, cara
.”
“You just up and shot him!”
Gabriel directed a narrow gaze at Fiat, walking around him to kneel next to Dmitri. I turned my head away, sick both physically and at heart over what had happened, feeling as if for some reason, the fault for Fiat’s actions lay directly on my shoulders.
“Yes, I did. You may thank me for saving Drake’s sept for him.”
“Thank you!” I exclaimed, outraged.
“Yes, thank me for returning to Drake that which he would not have regained without a battle,” Fiat snapped, his blue eyes icy with disdain.
“You forced him to sacrifice the sept in the first place!” I shouted.
“There are powers at work here that are beyond your comprehension,” he answered. “Do not make judgments. In the end, Drake has back what he lost. Well…almost all. I assume now that Dmitri is incapable of serving as wyvern you will claim the post again?”
“Yes,” Drake answered, his voice steady. I could feel the tension in him, however.
Fiat inclined his head. “I trust your people will have no problems in accepting you in the role again.”
“Drake will always be our wyvern,” Pál said, his voice filled with pride. “The sept loves him.”
“Indeed. Lucky sept, then, to avoid the power struggle that would have ensued had Dmitri retained his position.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “That doesn’t make sense. Why did you go to all the trouble of kidnapping me, poisoning me, almost making me a vegetable, to put Dmitri in power, only to effectively kill him a few minutes later? Why, Fiat, why?”
“Lusus naturae,” Drake said slowly, his eyes on Gabriel as the healer bent over Dmitri’s unresponsive body.
Gabriel looked up, his normally light eyes shaded and disturbed.