“Yes, I’m sure he will,” Amy said, smiling softly. She wandered about the store and after twenty minutes or so, set the book she wanted on the counter. “How’s married life treating you?”
“Wonderful,” Annie said and felt her cheeks heat. “Really wonderful.”
Amy glanced up from the check she was writing. “Wade said this would happen.”
“What do you mean?”
“Early on he told me that he felt your marriage to Lucas would be a strong one.”
During their counseling session before the wedding, Wade had told them that as long as they were open and honest with each other and willingly agreed to the terms they’d set forth, their marriage would remain healthy.
“Well, I’m incredibly happy,” Annie said, almost afraid to say the words out loud.
“Everything about you tells me that.” Amy reached across the counter to squeeze Annie’s hand. “It’s the way I felt when I realized how much I loved Wade…and yet at the same time I was terrified.” She finished writing the check and handed it to Annie. “I’m so glad you came to Promise.”
“Me, too. Jane was right—the town needed a bookstore.”
“That’s true, but I was thinking that you needed Promise and we needed you.”
“Thank you, Amy,” Annie said, remembering that Jane had said something like this the very first day she’d arrived in Promise.
The conversation was on Annie’s mind all day. Amy’s description of happiness tinged by fear fit her own emotional state. She supposed the fear was of loss, of losing what she’d gained but had never expected to have.
She did a brisk business that afternoon and was ready to close for the night when Jane entered the store, carrying Paul in his infant seat. He was sound asleep, and his innocence, his vulnerability, clutched at Annie’s heart. She breathed in his baby scent, smiling as Jane put the seat on the counter between them.
“No one told me it’d take half an hour to get a baby ready for a trip into town,” Jane said, slipping the diaper bag off her shoulder and putting it on the floor.
“Don’t tell me you’re complaining already?” Annie teased.
“I’m not complaining,” Jane said. “It’s just that I started to rely on having a couple of pairs of extra hands while Mom and Dad were here. I really miss them.”
Annie missed them, too. Because she and Jane had been close friends for so many years, Annie had come to think of Stephanie Dickinson as a substitute mother. She hadn’t seen nearly as much of the Dickinsons after Jane left for medical school, but they’d kept in touch. Their recent visit had been good all around, and Annie experienced a renewed sense of closeness with her friend’s parents.
Jane picked up the infant seat and carried it to one of the big overstuffed chairs. “I’m worn out already,” she said as she sank into the cushions with a sigh. But her energy was rejuvenated when Paul awoke, looked around him, and not seeing familiar surroundings, let out a lusty wail.
“Feeding time?” Annie asked.
“He’s probably got a messy diaper.” Jane scooped up her son, and after a brief inspection, expertly changed his diaper. When she’d finished, she placed him over her shoulder and gently rubbed his back. Not more than five minutes passed before he’d returned to sleep.
Annie wondered if she’d be as natural a mother as Jane. Then without warning, the room suddenly felt too hot. Perspiration moistened her brow and she fell into the chair across from Jane.
“Annie?”
“Jane…Oh, my goodness.”
“What is it?”
“I’m feeling light-headed.”
“Have you been unusually tired, as well?”
Now that she considered it, Annie realized she had. “Yes.”
Jane asked her several other questions, and Annie wondered if her friend recognized these symptoms. She’d been needing to use the bathroom more frequently and recalled that was a symptom of diabetes. She didn’t remember there being any diabetics in her family, but—
“Annie,” Jane said, interrupting her thoughts, “my guess is you’re pregnant.”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Annie said. “It’s much too soon.” But was it? Could she possibly be pregnant? They hadn’t practiced birth control, but Annie had assumed that because of her medical history, getting pregnant would take a while.
“How can it be too soon?” Jane asked, sounding perfectly reasonable.
“It’s just that…” Words deserted her, and Annie had no idea how to describe what she felt. She’d read all the books, knew all the symptoms, but no one had mentioned what should have been the most obvious. Joy.
A baby. That explained the boundless happiness she’d experienced of late. This protective barrier that kept problems at bay. The irrepressible feeling that everything was right with the world. Perhaps it also explained the fears that nibbled away at her, telling her that something this wonderful couldn’t last.
“Does Lucas know?” Jane asked.
Annie shook her head. “How could he when I didn’t know myself? Yet in a way, I suppose I did….”
“You can get a pregnancy kit and find out today,” Jane said.
“No,” was Annie’s immediate response. If she was pregnant, then she was barely so and her body would soon catch up with the knowledge in her heart. By the end of the month, she’d have missed her first period; she would make an appointment at the health clinic then. If she wasn’t pregnant, she didn’t want to destroy the illusion this quickly.
“You’ve got a funny look,” Jane said, breaking into Annie’s thoughts. “You used to get the same look when we were kids.”
Annie decided Jane was being fanciful. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“We spent as much time together as sisters,” Jane said, “and I know you. You never could keep a secret from me. I could always tell. It shows in your eyes.”
Annie realized it would do no good to argue. “All right, I’ll get the test. If you insist.”
“I do,” Jane returned with all the fervor of a woman who knows when she’s right and isn’t afraid to say so.
That night, Annie was tempted to mention the possibility that she was pregnant to Lucas, but it would be premature to say anything just yet. Besides, he’d want to tell the girls right away, and Annie was afraid of disappointing them. So she said nothing.
After preparing dinner, cleaning the kitchen and reading to Heather and Hollie, there hardly seemed time for a private conversation.
When she finally climbed into bed beside her husband later that evening, Lucas put down his book and looked at her.
She picked up her own novel, then realized her husband was still watching her. Slowly she lowered her book and met his eyes. “Did you want to say something?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said and continued to stare.
“Lucas—” she was blushing “—you’re embarrassing me.”
“You’re so beautiful,” he said softly and fervently.
“Lucas, stop. You don’t need to say these things.”
“Annie, I’m serious.”
“If I’m beautiful,” she said, closing her book and turning off the bedside lamp, “it’s because I’m happy.”
Lucas turned off his light, too, and they reached for one another, not in a frenzy of passion, but in love and gratitude for the miracle of second chances.
Summer was always busy for a veterinarian in a ranching community. It wasn’t unusual for Lucas to work fifteen-hour days. When he did arrive home, he always found Annie waiting for him and his dinner warming in the oven. He didn’t know how he’d managed all those months without her. Late hours meant he saw less of Heather and Hollie, but that didn’t appear to trouble his daughters nearly as much as it did him.
Knowing that Annie was waiting at home made the long days tolerable. In the six weeks since their wedding, he’d come to rely on seeing her, spending time with her, no matter how brief, and sleeping with her in his arms every night. This marriage provided benefit
s he hadn’t fully considered when he’d proposed.
Sometimes he worried that he might be too demanding physically, not that Annie complained. Often, in fact, she was the one who came to him and lovingly whispered her desire in his ear. She was his wife, she said, and being married meant they could make love whenever they wanted….
The next morning Cal Patterson put in a call to Lucas, but it took Lucas until late in the afternoon to get back to him. Fortunately it wasn’t an emergency. One of his horses suffered from an eye ailment known as ophthalmia or moon blindness. Unusual though the ailment was, Lucas had seen it before. When the moon was full, the horse’s eyes clouded and filmed over. This problem lasted the length of the full moon and then mysteriously disappeared.
“How about a cup of coffee?” Cal suggested after Lucas had finished with the mare.
“Sounds damn good about now,” Lucas agreed and headed toward the house with Cal.
“I guess you’re pleased about Annie,” Cal said casually.
Lucas found the statement odd.
“I’ll say one thing—it sure didn’t take you two long,” Cal joked, elbowing Lucas in the ribs.
“What the hell are you talking about?” As far as Lucas was concerned, Cal must’ve gone too long without sleep.
“Annie’s pregnant—isn’t she?” Cal asked. “I overheard Jane talking to her on the phone. When I said something about it, she said I should talk to you.”
Annie’s pregnant? Lucas stopped in his tracks.
“You didn’t mean to keep it a secret, did you?”
Lucas felt as though he’d been sucker-punched. It was all he could do not to reveal his shock. His friend shouldn’t be the one giving him this news; his wife should. He was about to become a father, and he couldn’t imagine why Annie hadn’t told him herself. She must know he’d be pleased. Surely she knew that.
“I hope I wasn’t speaking out of turn,” Cal said, cutting into his frenzied thoughts.
Lucas shook his head, but it wasn’t until he was driving home from the Lonesome Coyote Ranch that the full reality of what Cal had said hit him. Annie was pregnant. For the third time in his life he was going to be a father.
Actually, it shouldn’t come as such a shock, considering how often they made love. In retrospect, Lucas realized this explained a lot, like the fact that Annie had been so pale lately. And some nights, she’d fallen asleep before he got home. Perhaps she was waiting for him to say something. The truth was, he enjoyed gently waking her, having her open her arms to him, warm and sleepy. Warm and loving.
With that realization came another. Lucas’s hands gripped the steering wheel with such intensity his fingers grew white. He’d really done it now. What he thought was impossible had happened.
He’d gone and fallen in love with Annie.
CHAPTER 21
Sunday morning, Nessa sat through the entire church service in a daze. On past occasions she’d found the music stirring and the minister’s message inspiring. She’d always come away feeling renewed and refreshed.
Not this morning. It was all she could do to smile and exchange pleasantries with friends. All she could do to pretend her heart wasn’t breaking. Her life, which had been perfectly satisfactory until the day she met Gordon, now felt empty. Flat. Lonely. And more empty lonely years stretched ahead.
At the end of the service Wade stood in the vestibule and shook her hand as she left the church. As if he’d been able to read her thoughts, his gaze held hers a moment longer than necessary. “It’s good to see you, Nessa,” he said.
“It’s good to be here.” She did her best to offer him a dazzling smile. And failed. Her lips quivered and she quickly looked away. If not for the crowd, Nessa was certain Wade would have plied her with questions. She wasn’t sure what she would have told him.
As she walked toward the parking lot, she thought she heard someone call her name, but she didn’t stop. She didn’t want to encourage friendly conversation. Not today. All that mattered was returning to the safe cocoon of her home.
“Nessa!” Dovie’s call was louder and more insistent this time.
Given no option, Nessa turned and waved.
“Wait up!” Dovie pressed her hand over her heart when she reached Nessa. “My goodness,” she said breathlessly, “I don’t know when I’ve seen anyone leave a church faster.”
“Where’s Frank?” Nessa asked, wanting to distract her sister-in-law. She dearly loved Dovie, but the woman did tend to meddle.
“Talking to Grady and the Patterson brothers,” Dovie answered, studying Nessa until she grew uncomfortable with the scrutiny. “Okay, what’s wrong?”
Nessa pretended surprise. “Wrong? Why, nothing.”
“Okay,” Dovie said again, frowning. “When was the last time you spoke to Gordon?”
The question hurt. Nessa didn’t want to think about Gordon, and yet she was constantly besieged by thoughts of him. He’d been upset with her for giving in to Sylvia’s demands. At the same time, he’d chosen not to tell her about his own son’s opposition to their marriage. In thinking it over, she was convinced Gordon’s investigation of her finances had been instigated by his son. He’d also made some vague remark about her not being one to talk, which she hadn’t understood at the time.
“Gordon?” She repeated his name as if he was of little importance in her life. “Oh, we spoke last week sometime.”
Dovie’s expression told Nessa her sister-in-law wasn’t so easily fooled. “How did he take the news about delaying the wedding?”
Nessa sometimes forgot what a big mouth her daughter had. Apparently Dovie knew everything.
“He…he said…” She paused for a moment to regain her composure. “He thinks what I really want is to call the whole thing off.”
“Do you?”
“I…His son doesn’t approve of me, either.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Dovie said.
“Call it off? Of course not, but…but there are complications if I marry Gordon. We have different backgrounds and live in different places, and we each have opinionated children who seem to think we don’t—”
“Your children are more than opinionated,” Dovie cut in. “They want to control your lives. Are you going to allow your family to stand between you and Gordon? To interfere with your happiness?”
Nessa knew her daughter meant well, and she was certain Miles’s concern was also for his father’s well-being. Nessa had eventually come to the conclusion that her children were afraid of the changes that would occur in their own lives if she married Gordon. Afraid she’d be taken from them to live in another country. Afraid she’d love them less. Because they hadn’t met Gordon yet, they were suspicious. Sylvia and Miles had grown up in a world less trusting than the one Nessa knew.
“Are you going to stand for it?” Dovie asked.
Nessa looked away. She didn’t want to discuss any of this right now—not with anyone. She felt trapped between her children and the man she loved. “If Gordon and I are meant to be together, it’ll happen,” she said, trying for a nonchalant shrug.
“Is this the same woman who defied her family and moved to Promise without so much as a word until the deed was done?”
Nessa found the conversation increasingly difficult. It hadn’t been hard to buy a home in Promise because she’d known she was making the right decision. Marrying Gordon, though—that raised questions she couldn’t answer.
“Maybe you don’t love Gordon as much as you thought,” Dovie suggested in a sly voice. “Maybe you aren’t that interested in marrying him.”
But Nessa did love him, did want to marry him. Her heart pounded with the truth of it until she could no longer remain silent. “I do love him, Dovie. I want to be his wife.”
“Then tell him.”
Dovie made everything sound easy. It wasn’t as though Nessa hadn’t stood up to her children before, but they’d been so adamant this time, so sure they knew what was best for her. So confident that they
were protecting her from herself.
“Gordon is a good man. Are you willing to lose him?”
Nessa had lost so much already. How could she allow the possibility of happiness with Gordon to slip away like this? “You’re right!” she cried. “This is my life. Sylvia didn’t seek my approval when she got married. My boys didn’t, either.”
“I don’t know why Sylvia feels the way she does, but it’s her problem,” Dovie insisted, “not yours.”
Nessa felt as if a weight had been lifted from her heart. Dovie was a voice of reason in circumstances that had seemed hopelessly confusing only minutes earlier.
“Dovie, thank you, thank you so much,” Nessa whispered, so grateful she felt close to tears.
Her resolve didn’t desert her as she drove home. She walked into her house, set her Bible on the kitchen counter, and without stopping, headed directly for the telephone. If Miles answered, Nessa would demand to talk to Gordon. She wasn’t a woman who made demands easily, but she refused to be manipulated anymore.
She was so determined and so prepared to do battle with his son that when Gordon answered on the third ring she was caught unawares. “Gordon?” she said.
“Nessa?”
Taking a deep breath, she spilled out the secrets of her heart. “I love you. I’m sorry Miles doesn’t approve of me. I profoundly regret the way my own children have treated you. But I refuse to allow anyone else to make my decisions for me.”
Her statement was met with silence, then, “Are you saying you’re willing to marry me?”
“Yes.” She couldn’t be any more direct than that.
“When?” He didn’t sound as if he entirely believed her.
“Today. Tomorrow. Next week. Whenever you want.”
“I want you with me right now.”
Nessa closed her eyes at the burst of joy that flowed through her.
“I’ve been miserable without you,” he confessed.
“Me, too,” she told him, and then some of her defiance revived itself. “I love my children, but this is my life.”
“I told Miles the same thing, but I didn’t hear from you and I was sure you’d changed your mind.”