Regardless of whether she and Evan would ever take it to the next level, and even knowing the sight of his beautiful face would only break her heart, she was achingly lonely since Lisa had left. She needed company. His.
The contents of her checking account flashed before her mind, and she considered it before making her offer. “All right. Do you need me to bring anything from the store?”
“I’m pretty sure I have everything. If I don’t, we’ll just go after you get here.” That smile was back in his voice. “I’m glad you’re coming out. How long will you be?”
“Thirty, forty-five minutes?” She needed to shower and change. And wear sexy underwear, just in case. God, it was just like college on automatic replay, when she’d woken up every morning and wondered if today might be the day he came to his senses and realized they were meant to be together. Did she really want to put herself through that pathetic yearning again?
“Great. I’ll see you then.” The warmth in his tone curled up and settled around her heart, completely separate from the warmth curling in other places. As they hung up she could visualize his bedroom in her mind—she’d been in it only once a couple of years ago, shortly after he bought the house—with its deep jewel tones and the stately California king sleigh bed. She loved that bed. She could see them together in that bed.
Stop. Kelsey supposed she would never get it through her thick head that it wouldn’t happen for them. Lisa was wrong. Evan could have any woman he wanted and he’d never wanted her. Kelsey had to face that fact, and accept that she would go to his house, eat and drink and laugh all night, then leave. They would go to Hawaii and do much of the same. And she would come home always having a friend in him, but never a lover.
She could accept it, but it wouldn’t stop the hurt.
Chapter Three
Evan put the phone down on the kitchen counter, his smile still lingering even after her voice was gone. And that silly grin wouldn’t seem to go away as he walked over to wash his hands in the sink and take two porterhouse steaks out of the freezer.“Who’s coming over?” his brother Brian yelled from the living room. He’d been earjacking again, despite the metalcore videos blaring from the TV.
“Kelsey. So get your slacker ass off my couch,” Evan called back. The casual bystander would have detected a hint of hostility in his tone. They might have been right. Brian took it all in good humor, though at twenty-six he really did spend more time on Evan’s and his parents’ couches than anywhere else except the local tattoo parlor, where he was an artist. And a damn good one, at that, but he couldn’t even commit fully to the things he excelled at and enjoyed.
“I knew you were talking to a girl. I can always tell.” Brian padded into the kitchen, his feet bare and his long black and blue hair mussed, to get a Red Bull from the refrigerator. Dragons and flames and God only knew what else crawled down the skin of his arms from under the Nine Inch Nails T-shirt he wore. To look at him, one would think he was a pierced, tattooed nightmare, and it was true Evan often worried when Brian showed up unannounced that he might be harboring a fugitive. He was the reason Evan would probably never make a run for district attorney. But he was mostly harmless.
“Brian, piss off.”
“So she’s coming over because…”
“Because I invited her.” Evan set the microwave to defrost and put in one steak. He turned to his pantry and collected the spices he needed for seasoning. “You do remember that we leave the day after tomorrow, right? And that I’m letting you stay here unsupervised the whole week? Don’t make me regret it before I even leave.”
“Whatever. So are you making a play for this girl?”
It was the burning question. Was he? She’d always been an enigma to him in college, and ten years later, she still was to an extent. Back then she’d been a strange mix. At a party she was the one laughing the loudest in the room, talking to the most people, staying till the wee hours. She might do that one night and close down the library the next, careful not to jeopardize her near-perfect GPA. He’d never known anyone more loyal, more genuinely nice. She was everyone’s sweetheart. He’d been head over heels for her because of that alone.
But on the flip side, she’d been a bit…prudish. She was only laughing the loudest until dirty jokes or sex talk started to fly, then she turned blood red and usually vanished. She’d never dated anyone that he knew of until she met Todd. Even now, just two days ago, she’d choked up when he got a little suggestive over the phone.
And by the time long ago when he’d decided that facet of her personality didn’t matter to him anymore, it was too late. Now there was another chance, but damn if there weren’t even more problems.
He’d seen how her heartbreak of six months ago had wounded her down to the bone. He couldn’t relate. Courtney’s betrayal had delivered a swift sucker punch to his ego that over time morphed into relief. Most days he didn’t waste a single thought on what the girl had done to him, and if he did, it was because he was thinking of Kelsey, and wishing he hadn’t introduced two such destructive people into her life. She’d probably be better off right now if she’d never met him.
“We’re just friends, Brian. I invited her because she’s had a rough time these past few months and she deserves to have a little fun.”
“And the fact that you always wanted to nail her has no bearing on it at all.”
Evan whipped his head around. “What?”
Brian took a swig of his drink without taking his too-knowing gaze from Evan’s. He smoothed a hand down over his black goatee. “I know you, man. Hey, it’s cool. She’s fun.”
“Yeah.”
“Dude, if you try to get through a week alone with her without getting a piece, I’d hate to be you. You’ll come home with your nuts on ice. And I’ll laugh.”
“She really doesn’t need one of her best friends putting the moves on her after what she’s been through, Brian.”
“What if she goes crazy and begs you for it, man? That happens to me all the time.”
Ha. Not likely, not with Kelsey. Evan cast his brother a wry glance. “Right. How drunk did you have to get these girls?”
“Avoid the issue at hand. That’s all right.” Brian laughed in merry triumph and wandered off to the guest room he often crashed in. The rumbling thunder of Pantera’s “Psycho Holiday” began shaking the foundations of the house soon after. Evan sighed. He didn’t mind heavy metal and went to concerts with his brother sometimes, though he usually felt wretched standing in plain sight of the dozen or so prosecutable offenses going on in the crowd around him. But Brian played his music at a volume that made Evan thankful he didn’t have any close neighbors. Still, it didn’t drown out the trill of his ringing cell phone. When he checked the display, he almost wished it had.
Etiquette didn’t dictate that it was necessary to answer an ex-fiancée’s call, especially when said ex-fiancée was with someone else. It wasn’t like they had kids to discuss, or any reason at all to continue speaking to each other. More than anything else, Courtney had become a source of entertainment and information over the past several months. He almost let her call go to voicemail, but decided it probably best to deal with her and get it over with. If he didn’t, she might call his mom, cry to her and get her all upset. The two had been great friends.
He answered with a curt, “Hey.”
Her reply was soft and sad, as it usually was lately. The woman was miserable. But she’d made her bed. “Hey. What are you doing?”
You remember the girl whose marriage you wrecked? Yeah, I’m hanging out with her tonight.
It might not be the nicest reply. Sometimes he thought he was too nice. “Getting ready for company.”
“It sounds like you’re having a party.”
“No, Brian’s here. You know how he is.”
“Oh. Never mind, then. I was hoping…I was hoping maybe we could talk tonight.”
“Is Todd not in a talking mood tonight?”
There was a pause. “I le
ft him.”
Evan nearly dropped the phone. After he managed to hang onto it, he gripped it with both hands and wrung it as if it were a neck. Hers. Casting an aimless Why me? to the ceiling, he brought it back to his ear.
“Sorry to hear.”
“Are you?” she asked on a halting note, as if she’d expected him to fall into paroxysms of joy at the news.
“Well, Court, you hurt a lot of people to be with this guy, so I guess it’s a shame it was all for nothing.”
Christ, now she was weeping. She tried to cover it up, but not very well. “I think he wants his ex-wife back. I guess you think I deserve it.”
Great. But at least he managed to avoid the bait she threw out. “Did he say he wanted her back?”
“No. Just a feeling I get, and I can’t stand it anymore. Who do you have coming over?”
“A friend. Don’t worry about it.” Kelsey would probably fly through the roof when she found out about this. He wouldn’t tell her, not tonight.
“You mean it’s none of my business.”
“If that’s the way you want to take it.”
“A girl?”
“Believe it or not, I didn’t put my life on hold waiting for you to make this call, Courtney.”
“I didn’t think you were seeing anyone.”
“I’m not. But I need to go right now. I’ve got stuff to do.”
“Can we talk later?”
“What is there to talk about? There’s nothing left to say that we haven’t both already said a thousand times. You told me you were sorry. I told you I’ve forgiven you and I meant it. So if it’s guilt you feel, don’t beat yourself up. It happened. It’s over and done with.”
He’d forgiven her, sure. Forgiven her simply because he didn’t give a damn anymore.
“Evan…I can’t forgive myself.” Her voice was quivering, barely discernible over the music from Brian’s room. He covered his free ear with one hand.
“Then that’s something you need to work on. I can’t help you there.”
“Tomorrow was supposed to be our wedding day. Remember?”
He nearly choked. Of course, he remembered. How could he forget how close he’d come to making the biggest mistake of his life? “Yes. Why are you bringing all this up?”
“I don’t know. But sometimes I wish things were the way they used to be, and that I was still marrying you tomorrow. I messed up so bad. I know I need to make some changes.” Her soft weeping had dampened, but he could hear it starting up again. “I’m so sorry I did this to us.”
“You know who really deserves your apology? The one person who never got one. Kelsey.”
“I…I can’t talk to her. There’s no way I could face her.”
“And she might very well not want to face you. But it’s something you should think about, on this path to betterment you’re talking about. Now I mean it, I have to go.”
She finally hung up, and he breathed a huge sigh of relief. Damn girl was depressing the hell out of him. And to think she wanted to come over tonight and drive the knife deeper. Remind him of all the ugliness. Perish the thought.
Of course, in her own way Kelsey would serve as a reminder of everything that happened. Her quiet heartbreak was palpable. But the strength behind it was a freaking inspiration to him. She hadn’t backed down, she hadn’t run back home even though her parents lived two states away. He loved to see that quality in someone, be it his dear friend or the people he stood up for in court.
He rushed through food prep so he could grab a quick shower before she arrived, since he was probably redolent with the lingering odor of huge, slobbering dog. It didn’t surprise him how excited he was to see her; he always was. But now there was just a hint of scandal and possibility there that had his heartbeat ratcheting up a notch. It might be wrong, but it was undeniable.
They’d never lost touch throughout the years and her disastrous marriage, but they’d lost the closeness they once shared. He looked forward to gaining it back now without jealous significant others questioning their every conversation.
Even if Todd had come to realize what a jackass he’d been, he didn’t deserve Kelsey after what he’d done to her. He hoped she realized that.
A vigorous shower later Evan headed back outside to fire up his grill beside the glowing kidney-shaped pool. It was a gorgeous night, still and musical with the sound of crickets. He lived far enough from the lights of town that every visible star winked from the expanse of velvety black sky unfurled above, but the late July humidity hung in the air like a sopping wet blanket. He was going around lighting the tiki torches when Brian stuck his head out the sliding glass door. “She’s pulling up.”
“And you’re still here.” Evan swept past him on his way into the kitchen.
“Lay off, man. I’m going over to Michelle’s. I just got her on her cell and she won’t be home for another half hour or so.”
Evan swept a glance around the kitchen, rubbing palms that had become strangely damp on his jeans. Thank God Friday was the day his housekeeper came by. Everything was clean. Not that he ever let it get dirty. “That girl hasn’t come to her senses yet?”
Brian perched on a barstool. “You’d better hope she doesn’t. Where else would I go?”
“Good point.” Satisfied that everything was presentable, Evan headed into the living room just as the doorbell rang. Reaching for the knob, he blew out a breath and pulled the door open.
Kelsey stood framed by the buttery glow of his porch light, smiling at him, looking delicious in denim shorts and a little pink top with spaghetti straps. Her dark hair—naturally curly, he knew—fell in a straight cascade from her white headband. “Hey,” he drawled with a grin, holding his arms open.
She flew across the threshold to hug him, and God, she was so insubstantial in his arms. The tremor that went through her as he pressed her against him couldn’t have been his imagination. Her familiar scent flooded his nostrils—she always smelled like cool spring breezes, like honeysuckle. Clean and sweet.
“I missed you,” she said softly and, though the top of her head only reached his chin, he heard that voice as if it had whispered in his ear.
This was right. This was how they should be. He vowed in that moment to never let anyone come between them again.
“I missed you, too,” he murmured, and when he finally went to release her, he realized he’d picked her up off her feet. He eased her down, staring into her gray eyes as if he hadn’t seen them in years. It felt that way, for some reason. The trembling smile she was wearing for him didn’t seem to reach the melancholy in her gaze. That sadness wasn’t as pronounced as it had been at her divorce hearing almost two months ago—that had nearly torn his heart out—but it was still there.
As he shut the door she stepped back, looking him up and down. “You look great.”
“Not as great as you.” He put an arm around her shoulders and walked her through his living room toward the kitchen. Brian looked up and grinned as they entered.
“What’s up, K?”
“Brian!”
“Don’t worry, Evan’s giving me the boot. I’ll be gone in a few.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re here now, because I have something to ask you.”
Evan looked down at Kelsey in surprise as she left his side and walked over to his brother, who’d raised one dark, pierced brow in inquiry. And Evan could only see her from the back, but surely she wasn’t doing what it looked like—which was raising her shirt up just an inch or two in front of Brian. “Does this thing look okay? It was doing fine, but now it’s a little red and it bothers me. I’m afraid it’s getting infected or something.”
What the hell?
Brian, suddenly in his element, leaned down to examine what looked like the area around Kelsey’s navel. “Nah. It’s fine, just keep up your routine. It can take months to heal and it’ll be a little red until it does.”
Dumbfounded, Evan stepped around to see for himself. She’d gotten her bellybut
ton pierced, a silver barbell with a little butterfly on it. It was hot as hellfire. “When did you do that?” he asked.
She grinned at him. “The night my divorce was final. Brian did it for me.”
Evan slapped the top of Brian’s head. “You didn’t tell me.”
“Because I respect my clients’ confidentiality. I do what they tell me. Who they show it to is their prerogative. Ass.”
And she certainly hadn’t minded showing it to Evan. He bit his lip on a grin as she turned to him. “I just felt like I needed to do something crazy…or crazy for me, anyway,” she explained, lowering her shirt. Todd probably wouldn’t have gone for it, he thought. “Lisa went with me.”
Brian burst out laughing. “Yeah, the pregnant chick. She was hilarious. You were fine afterward, but I thought she was about to pass out on the floor.”
“And she’s the one who’s gone through the rigors of childbirth twice already. I didn’t let her live it down, don’t worry,” Kelsey said. Brian held out his fist and she punched her knuckles against his, laughing.
Evan shook his head. “I’m still reeling from the fact that you willingly let my brother drive a needle through your flesh.”
“It was a very liberating moment,” she told him with a dead-straight face.
“See? These are the rewards of my profession,” Brian said to Evan. “Giving hot chicks their first taste of the wild life. We love to get our hands on virgin flesh in my line of work.”
“You’re twisted,” Evan said, and it didn’t escape him that Kelsey was laughing good-naturedly but covering her mouth with her hand and flushing bright red to the roots of her hair.
He shifted the conversation before she could somehow bolt. “Yeah, you love it when you go do your line of work.”
Brian popped the tab on the beer that had been sitting next to him. “They love me so much there, I can come and go as I please. Much like Michelle. Speaking of which, I’m out.” He rose from his barstool and grabbed his keys from the counter. “You kids have fun. Don’t do—”