With a pounding heart and an aching chest, she sat down on the closed toilet and tried to catch her breath as sour feelings ran through her body. Her dad’s face kept popping up in her head, visions of him reprimanding her mom with not only his words, but his fists, flashed through her eyes. Mashed potatoes sliding down the wall, broken glass all over the floor, and spoiled food that was thrown on the floor after her dad threw the table upside down ran through her mind as she gripped onto the sides of the toilet, trying to steady herself. She hadn’t had flashbacks in a while, but the combination of seeing Jesse’s family together and the cold looks she had been receiving from Jesse the past couple of days was throwing her for a loop.
There was a light knocking on the door, which brought her out of her thoughts as she realized she must have been in the bathroom for a long time for someone to come check on her; but she wasn’t sure how long she was there, because she was lost in her past.
“Ashlin, are you in there?” Jesse’s voice called out.
Not being able to answer from her throat being too tight from not crying, she just kept silent as she put her head in her hands.
There was another knock at the door, this time a little more forceful. “Ashlin, I’m coming in.” He didn’t give her a chance to reply before he barged in and filled the bathroom with his muscular frame. He looked so delicious, and the concerned look in his face did her in. She broke down, right there in the guest bathroom, on Thanksgiving.
Jesse was at her side in seconds, sitting on the tub next to her and grabbing her hands.
“What’s wrong?”
She choked on a sob as she tried to reply, but she couldn’t get out the words.
“Ashlin, you’re scaring me. Is everything alright?” She shook her head no, as tears ran down her face. “Why? What’s going on?”
“You,” she squeaked out.
“Me what?”
“You’re….you’re mad at me,” she cried into her hands.
She heard Jesse exhale next to her, and then he sat down on the floor as he grabbed her and put her on his lap.
“I’m not mad at you,” he said, while trying to get her to look at him.
“Yes, you are, and don’t lie to me. You’ve barely touched me since the photo shoot, and whenever you look at me, you have this look in your eye as if you’re disgusted with me.”
“I’m not disgusted with you…” he paused.
“Yes, you are,” Ashlin said, as she tried to get up, but he wouldn’t let her. “Let go of me,” she said, rather sternly.
“Stop,” Jesse scolded, trying to still her. “Just give me a second.”
“What do you need a second for, Jesse? Are you trying to figure out the best way to get rid of me while sparing my feelings? Just respect me enough to say it without sugar coating it.”
The room filled with an unpalatable tension as Jesse pinched his nose, trying to figure out what to say.
“I don’t want to break up with you,” he said evenly. “I’m just having a hard time dealing with everything.”
“What’s everything?” she asked, as she finally gave in and looked him in the eyes. At that moment, she saw pain, but she didn’t understand. Was he really that hurt from the photo shoot?
“I don’t think this is the time to get into this. My family is downstairs waiting to eat.”
“Oh,” she replied, as she wiggled to get up. “Well, that’s fine. I’m just going to head home.”
Standing up as well, Jesse said, “Don’t be like that, Ashlin. Come have Thanksgiving with us.”
Have Thanksgiving with them? Was he crazy? She could barely talk she was so upset, how was she supposed to stuff her face?
Shaking her head no, she stepped away from him and said, “Thanks for the invite, Jesse, but honestly, I can’t even think about eating right now. My stomach is twisted in knots; anything I eat will just not settle well, if I eat anything at all.”
“You’re not just going to leave,” he said, while grabbing her arm.
The action was nothing harmful, nothing rough, just concern to reach out to her, but her mind played it as something else as a weak cry escaped her lips, and she yelled at him, “Don’t touch me!”
Quickly pulling away, Jesse pulled his hands off of her and looked at her with total confusion crossing his face.
“Ashlin, what the hell? Did I hurt you?”
“No,” she said, as she opened the door and went down the hallway toward the stairs. She had to get out of his house before she lost it. Luckily, the dining room was on the other end of the house, away from the entryway. She flew down the stairs, Jesse trailing behind her, grabbed her purse and jacket, and went out the front door. Thankfully, her car wasn’t blocked by Johnny and Jenny, since they’d been staying with Jesse for the past couple of days.
When she got to her car, she opened the door quickly, but it was shut automatically as Jesse hovered over her.
“Will you please stop? I don’t want to keep chasing you around.”
“Then don’t,” she replied, as she tried to pull at the door. But Jesse was too strong for her, and she couldn’t make the door budge, which only threw her into another round of tears as she sank to the ground.
“Ashlin,” Jesse said, as he squatted in front of her. “For the love of God, what is going on with you?”
“You are,” she said, as she wiped her eyes. “You’re so cold toward me; you’re treating me like someone you don’t even know. It’s killing me, Jesse, because last thing I knew, you were fine with me doing my job, but I guess I’ve come to find out that you can’t handle it. You can’t fucking handle it.”
“You’re right,” he shouted. “I can’t handle it. I can’t handle seeing you touched by someone else, kissed by someone else, and aroused by someone else. That photo shoot totally destroyed me! I’m not mad at you, I’m just…frustrated.”
“At me.”
“No, I’m frustrated at myself,” he shouted back, as his chest heaved from the level of heat running between them. “I’m fucking livid at myself for waiting so long.”
Ashlin’s head perked up from his words. “Waiting for so long for what?”
Jesse buried his head in his hands as he rubbed his face. “For fucking you.”
Well, she thought he was going to say something like that, but she wasn’t expecting to hear such pain in his voice when he said it.
“Then why did you wait?”
“Because I still don’t know you. You’re still a giant question mark to me. I don’t know anything about your family…”
“That’s because you don’t need to,” she interrupted him.
“Yes, I fucking do,” he replied, eyes blazing now. “I fucking deserve to know you if we’re going to make this work.”
“You don’t want to know me, Jesse. I’m not like the perfect little family you have waiting in the house for you. I’m fucked up.”
“Who isn’t?” he replied.
“Oh, really? You think you’re fucked up? Did your dad beat your mom almost every night until, one night, he finally killed her? Is that what happened to you?” Jesse’s mouth was agape as she spoke to him. “That’s what I thought. We grew up in two different worlds, Jesse. My world was full of trailer trash drug addicts who would rather beat their wife for a fix than support their family. That is not the kind of girl you need or deserve. I told you I was bad news, and now you finally know why.”
Without giving him a chance to respond, she opened her door, slammed it shut and locked the doors, and took off out of his driveway. As she looked in her rearview mirror, she saw Jesse still standing in the driveway, not even looking at her, but looking down at the ground, as if he couldn’t believe what she’d just said. She didn’t blame him; she was one fucked up girl with a car full of baggage that was almost impossible for someone to deal with. He was better off without her. If only he could have realized that before she became accustomed to having him around, to welcoming him into her heart and stealing her breath
away.
**Piper**
“Are you doing alright, babe?” Mason asked as he walked in behind Piper who was bringing dishes in from the dining room table. They’d just finished eating Thanksgiving dinner with Mason’s parents, and even though they were the nicest people she had ever met, she was feeling a little overwhelmed by how nice they really were. The whole family atmosphere was almost too much for her to handle.
“Yeah,” she breathed out, as she turned to find Mason staring at her with concern lacing his eyes. But that wasn’t what caught her breath…it was the man in general. If his parents weren’t with them, she would have had Mason on top of the counter, and she would have been riding him like a banshee. He was wearing a pair of well-worn jeans that cupped his ass perfectly, a navy blue long-sleeved shirt, and his scruff was a little longer than normal…making him look dark and dangerous. Piper’s lower half squealed in appreciation.
“Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?” he asked, as he played with the purple wrap dress she had on. She felt fancy, but compared to Mason’s mom, who was sporting her pearls and heels, Piper looked like a commoner.
“Only a few times,” she answered, as she allowed Mason to pull her into his arms.
Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he said, “You seem mellow. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, your family is just so…loving.”
Her confession made Mason chuckle. “What did you expect? Should we be biting each other’s heads off?”
She laughed and said, “No, it’s just a different atmosphere for me. Hard to get used to, you know?”
“I get it,” he said, as he played with one of her curls. “They like you a lot. My mom was just telling me how pretty you are.”
“Was she?”
“Yeah, she was saying that I should really just take you back to our bedroom and have sex with you.”
“She did not!” Piper said, while playfully hitting his chest.
He shrugged his shoulders and said, “Worth a try.”
“Is my son being inappropriate again?” Mason’s mom asked, as she brought in some dishes to be cleaned off.
“I’m afraid so, Mrs. Dashel,” Piper said, as Mason squeezed her side at her confession, making her jump in place.
“Traitor,” he whispered in her ear, making her arm hairs stand on end. He did that to her with just his voice; he made everything stand at attention from the brush of his scruff to the deep whisper of his voice.
“It’s true,” she whispered back, as she placed a light kiss on his cheek. She wanted to do more, a lot more, but there were prying eyes in the room.
“You two are adorable,” Mrs. Dashel said, as she started the water in the sink.
Feeling embarrassed by the thoughts that were running through her head while Mason’s mom was in the room, she turned toward the living room and said, “I’m going to get the last of the dishes.”
She walked into the dining room and saw Mr. Dashel with his hand on his flat stomach, a glass of water to his mouth, and a content look on his face. Mason definitely got his looks from his dad; his mom was beautiful, but his dad was ruggedly handsome with a light spray of grey at his temples and laugh lines caressing his eyes. He was built just like Mason, but there was a little extra fluff on him…but not much, because the man still had a body, just not one like Mason’s.
“Dinner was fantastic, sweetheart.” The term of endearment was sweet; it was something her dad had never called her, so to hear a father figure speak to her with such affection was comforting and odd at the same time.
“Thank you, Mr. Dashel. I was happy to help Mrs. Dashel in the kitchen. She is quite a lovely woman.” As the words escaped her mouth, she felt like she was having an out of body experience. Was she really speaking pleasantries with her boyfriend’s parents, while wearing a dress that was made for meeting the parents? This was so not her, but she didn’t care because she was changing; she was changing for the better.
“You need help, babe?” Mason asked, as he crutched up next to her.
With one eyebrow in question, she looked at him as if he was crazy. “And how do you expect to help?” Feigned innocence crossed Mason’s face as he tried to figure out what to say, but Piper wasn’t stupid. “Just go watch football; nice try, though, with the offer of help.”
With a quick kiss to her cheek and a fist pump to his dad, both of the men were off to the living room while talking about the games that were playing today. She shook her head, grabbed the last of the dishes, and took them into the kitchen where Mason’s mom had already made a dent in cleaning them.
“Wow, you’re fast,” Piper said, as she grabbed some Tupperware for the leftovers.
“Not my first time, and honestly, I think this is the smallest Thanksgiving I’ve ever been to. It’s been nice, just spending time with Mason and getting to know you.”
“I’ve had a nice time too,” Piper admitted, even though she felt awkward around Mason’s parents.
The water turned off as Mrs. Dashel grabbed a towel that was hanging off of the stove handle and started wiping her hands. “I want to thank you for taking care of Mason while we were on vacation. I’m glad he had someone he could count on.”
Piper waved it off as if it was nothing, because honestly, she was grateful Mason’s parents were on vacation. If they hadn’t been, Piper might not have ever had the opportunity to be with Mason again.
“It was no problem at all.”
“I know you two weren’t together when you offered,” Mrs. Dashel said with sensitivity.
Well, Piper wasn’t prepared for an awkward conversation, but apparently Mrs. Dashel was.
“Doesn’t matter now,” Piper said, trying to dismiss the topic that was now gnawing at her stomach. “You have to give me the recipe for those sweet potatoes; they were so good.”
Yes, it was a lame attempt at changing the subject, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“He was pretty hurt after Brooke broke off their engagement,” Mrs. Dashel continued.
There went Piper’s attempt to change the subject right out the window. Strapping on her big girl pants, Piper turned to face Mrs. Dashel and prepared herself to have a conversation that seemed less appealing than swallowing a jar full of razor blades.
Mrs. Dashel continued, “After Brooke left, there was something dark that took over my Mason. He barely talked to us, we never saw him, and deep down I could see that he was hurting, dying to talk to someone, but the stubborn ass wouldn’t let anyone in…until you.”
“What do you mean?” Piper asked, as her breathing started to pick up.
“A couple of months ago, Mason called us to tell us about this redhead that had taken control of his life. He told us all about her quick wit and sassy sense of humor. He, of course, told his dad about her, how did he put it? I think it was, ‘kick ass body’.” Piper chuckled to herself, hearing Mason’s mom swear. “He sounded alive again; he sounded like my goofy, fun-loving Mason again, and I couldn’t have been happier…” Mrs. Dashel’s voice silenced, and Piper knew what was coming next. She liked Mrs. Dashel a lot, and the fact that she knew Piper hurt her son, killed Piper. She hated the fact that Mrs. Dashel had a tainted view of her, but then again, she’d brought it upon herself.
“Well, you know what happened next,” Mrs. Dashel said honestly, as she turned toward the sink and started washing dishes again.
Awkward was not even close to what Piper was feeling. What the hell was she supposed to say? Sorry that I was a complete whore bag and screwed over your perfect son? That didn’t seem fitting. So, she just settled with a simple apology.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Dashel.”
“What happened is between you and my son, but when he’s around you now, he lights up. His eyes are full of love, and I will tell you this, as a mother, that is one of the most amazing things to see in your child…to see love pouring out of them. Not every relationship is perfect; you’re bound to have your ups and downs, but as long as y
ou are able to fight, to hold on when things get tough, then you’ll be just fine.” She turned and looked Piper in the eyes. “Mason is worth fighting for.”
Piper couldn’t agree more. Mrs. Dashel nailed it on the head. Mason was worth fighting for.
They spent the rest of the time in the kitchen, cleaning in silence as Mrs. Dashel let her words sink in. When they joined the boys back in the living room, they all watched football, listened to Mason and his dad yell at the TV, and enjoyed some pie. It was one of the best Thanksgivings Piper had ever had, even including the awkward conversation in the kitchen.
That evening, once Mason’s parents had gone to bed and she and Mason were lying in their bed, together, holding hands, Piper finally let out the long breath that she’d been holding in. She’d made it through her first holiday with Mason’s parents, and for the most part, it was successful.
With a gentle gesture, Mason leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips. “Thank you for making dinner with my mom. She said she had a great time getting to know you.”
“I had a nice time too,” Piper admitted. “I like your parents, and I would be lying if I said your dad wasn’t hot.”
A shocked look crossed Mason’s face as he took in what Piper said.
“You think my dad is hot?” His nose scrunched as he asked his question.
Nodding, she replied, “Hell yeah. Makes me think, why should I be with you when I could have the original?” A teasing smile crossed her face.
Playfully squeezing her side, Mason said, “Maybe because I have a dick that makes your pussy weep.”
“You got that right,” she said, as she traced his tattoos. The man was a god with his bare chest, sleeve tattoos that told a story, and his well-defined muscles. Even with being out of commission for a while, he was still able to keep up his physique; the man was not normal.
Her hand traveled from his tattooed chest down to his navel, where she dipped her fingers just below his waistband, all the while looking him dead in his eyes.
“Trying to get yourself in trouble?” he asked in a husky tone.