“No, do you want them down?”
“I want them all the way off.”
“Fair enough, but you have to do something for me.”
“Panties or shirt?” she asked, not letting him give her a choice.
“Can I say both?”
“You can, but you’ll owe me when I get back.”
“Fine by me,” he laughed.
They both shuffled the phone as they deposited their clothes. Jax should have felt weird, sitting in the middle of his living room with his erection poking the air and his hand wrapped around it, but with Brooke’s hot voice blazing through the phone, he didn’t have a worry or care.
“I’m naked and so wet for you right now,” Brooke said into the phone, as Jax continued to stroke himself.
“How wet?”
“Soaked…”
At her admission, Jax felt himself grow even harder. The thought of Brooke testing how wet she was, was such a huge turn on.
“You better fucking be. Now, listen carefully, Brooke, I want you to rub your clit, and while you’re teasing that delicate little nub of yours that I love sucking on, I want you to run your hands up your body until you reach those perfect tits of yours.” He paused for a second and said, “Are you doing what I say?”
“Yes,” she said breathlessly, making Jax rub himself out even harder.
“Good girl. Is your nipple hard?”
“Mmm…”
“Pull on it, darlin’. Pull on it hard, pinch it, and envision my teeth running along that tight nipple of yours. Can you feel my teeth?”
“Yes…oh, Jax.”
“Feel my hand run down your stomach and then down between your thighs. Feel me exploring your wet pussy. I want you to slip two fingers inside of yourself.”
“Jax…”
“Now, Brooke, I want you to fuck yourself with your fingers, don’t make me ask for three.”
“Oh, God,” she sighed into the phone, letting Jax know that now she was finger fucking herself.
“How close are you, darlin’?”
“So close.”
“Me too,” he replied, as he felt his balls start to tighten at the moans that were escaping her mouth.
“I can’t do this, I want to touch my clit, please let me touch my clit.”
Grunting and holding back his own release, Jax said, “Why should l let you?”
“So I can come while screaming your name.”
Fuck…that did him in.
“Touch yourself, Brooke, do it.”
From his command, she screamed his name into the phone at the same time he pumped one out, throwing his head back on the couch and releasing himself.
“Ahh…fuck,” Jax exclaimed as he finished himself off and tried to catch his breath.
Silence met both of them as they steadied their racing hearts. Jax knew she was still there, because he could hear her breathing heavily.
“Jax,” she said weakly. The way she said his voice made his hairs stand on end and a knot form at the pit of his stomach.
He sat up on the couch and pressed the phone against his ear.
“Yes, darlin’, is everything okay?”
“Yes, but…can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Can we….” she stumbled. “Can we be official?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, confused. Last he knew, they were official. She was his girlfriend, and they were exclusive; he hoped to God she was thinking the same thing.
“I don’t want to hide anymore. I want to go to events with you; I want to go out on dates with you and not hide away at our places, not that it isn’t nice, but I want to be the girl that is draped on your arm. I want people to know that you’re my man.”
A giant smile spread across Jax’s face as he pulled his shorts back on.
“I think that can be arranged.”
“Really?” she asked in disbelief, as if he’d just promised her the moon.
“Yes, darlin’. I can’t wait to show you off. I’m just sorry you have to be seen with such a fashion disaster.”
A pure laugh filtered through Jax’s ears. Her laugh was so beautiful.
“You’re not a fashion disaster, you’re just an athlete.”
“Well, can you make this athlete look good so I don’t look like a total ass when I have you next to me?”
“It won’t take much; you just need some shoes other than Nikes.”
“What’s wrong with my Nikes?” Jax asked in shock.
“Nothing, babe. Nothing at all.”
Chapter Twenty One
**Jesse**
There was something seriously wrong with Jesse. On Thanksgiving, he’d watched Ashlin drive away from him and he didn’t move, he didn’t beat an eyelash; he just stood there and stared at the ground from her confession. A day later, he was still frozen, unable to figure out what to do. He knew he had to go to her, that he needed to wrap his arms around her and kiss away her pain, but he didn’t know how to do so…and the longer he stayed away, the longer his chances of getting her back were growing.
He just couldn’t find the words or the actions to comfort her. She had literally rendered him speechless. The past she revealed was terrible, but that wasn’t what got to him; it was the pain of the little girl that projected from her eyes that gutted him. At that moment, in his driveway, he saw the Ashlin that Ryker had grown up with, the one he warned Jesse about, the one he was not ready to face. Call him an idiot, call him naïve, but he lived in a sheltered world, and seeing such hurt and pain come from someone was something he was not used to, and it showed, because his lack of response was a death warrant for their relationship.
He sat at the side of his pool, watching the moon reflect off the water with a blanket thrown over his lap. The Denver air was chilly as the stars shined against the dark night sky. It was on nights like this that he wished Ashlin was tucked up against him as he ran his hands through her hair and they talked about their day. It was a simple life, but it was what he craved.
“Are you really just going to sequester yourself out here and not talk to us?” Johnny, Jesse’s brother asked, as he walked up next to where Jesse was lounging.
“Sorry, man, just doing some thinking.”
“I’ve noticed. Ever since Ashlin took off, you’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Jesse asked, as he looked up at his brother whose arms were folded across his chest.
“It means you need to stop thinking and take some action. Clearly, you like Ashlin, you’ve been talking about her for months now…and the minute she runs away, you let her? After what you told me she said, you let her?”
“I didn’t know how to react. You should have seen the look in her eyes.”
“Well, being silent and not talking to her is not the way to go. Out of all the times in your life to man up and deal with something, this is the time. Yesterday was the time, and the longer you wait, the longer she’s thinking that she’s disgusted you with her past.”
“She didn’t,” Jesse said, as he stood up and ran his hand through his hair. “Do you really think that’s how she feels?”
“Are you really that dense?” Johnny asked. “Come on, man. She goes and tells you that her dad beat her mom to death, and you just sat there in silence. She’s not thinking you’re all fucking rainbows and ponies about the news.”
“Shit,” Jesse responded, as his hands ran over his face. “I need to go see her.”
“Yeah, Daisy, my three year old daughter, could have told you that.”
“Fuck off,” Jesse called over his shoulder as he ran through his house, grabbed his keys, and ran out the door. He was wearing sweats and a long-sleeved T-shirt, but he didn’t care. He needed to go see Ashlin.
As he drove to her apartment, he thought about how he’d really screwed up royally. There was no excuse for his absence, none whatsoever. He just hoped that, when he got to her apartment, she’d let him in to beg for forg
iveness.
To think that she would be afraid to tell him such important information about her life was a little upsetting…to find out that she didn’t trust him, but with the way he acted once she told him, he didn’t blame her. He had one opportunity to give her the reaction that she deserved, and he blew it. Now he needed to make it up to her.
Arriving at her place in no time, Jesse hopped out of the car, and climbed the stairs to her place. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door, and waited impatiently for her to open it. Spotting the peephole, he hoped and prayed that she didn’t look through it, because given what an ass he was, he was pretty sure she wouldn’t let him in.
Jesse’s heart settled as the locks started to move and the door opened. He expected to see Ashlin in some casual pajamas and her hair in a bun, her usual late night garb, but what he didn’t expect to see was Ryker, shirtless and in a pair of boxers.
“What the fuck?” Jesse roared, as he charged through the door and pushed Ryker up against the wall.
“Dude,” Ryker replied, as he struggled to get out of his grasp.
“Does Hannah know you’re here, cheating on her?”
“Jesse! What the hell are you doing?” Ashlin said, as she tore him off of Ryker.
With erratic breathing, Jesse took in the sight of the two of them. Ashlin was in short shorts, a thin tank top, and her hair was on the top of her head. Her body looked incredible, but her face looked angry, really angry. Looking back over at Ryker, Jesse’s temper started to fume again as he saw who he thought was his best friend getting all snuggly with his girlfriend.
“I came over here to apologize to you, but apparently, I should have just stayed home. I knew the photo shoot looked way too comfortable for you two.”
Ashlin’s mouth hung open in shock at Jesse’s low blow, but he didn’t care. He might have hurt her, but she’d hurt him ten times more. Sleeping with his best friend, with someone who was supposed to be dedicated to another woman? That was unforgivable.
“I hope you tell Hannah, or else I will, because she deserves better.” Jesse looked Ryker up and down and said, “I thought you were cool, man.”
Shaking his head in disgust, Jesse opened the door and ran straight into a lump of towels.
“Oh, sorry,” Jesse said, as he helped the person up who was covered in laundry.
“Not a problem,” Hannah said, removing a towel from her head, revealing her silky brown hair.
“Hannah?” Jesse asked, as an uneasiness started to settle over him.
“Oh, hey…Jesse.” She looked over Jesse’s shoulder and tossed some clothes behind him. “Your clothes are dry now.”
“What?” Jesse asked, as Ryker started putting jeans and a shirt on.
“He is such a slob,” Hannah responded, as she gathered all the laundry. He spilled soda all over himself and I was luckily able to get any staining out before it set in, but that meant having to wait for his clothes to dry. Thankfully, we were with Ashlin, so we could use her laundry room downstairs.”
A slow and drawn out “fuck” ran through Jesse’s head as he turned toward Ryker and Ashlin, who had the look of death on their faces. If Jesse hadn’t already buried himself in a six foot hole with Ashlin, then he just did.
“Ashlin…”
“Don’t,” she held up her hand and turned to Ryker. “I’m sorry your friend is such an ass. Thank you for coming over; I appreciate it, but it might be best if you and Hannah go. You still have to put together all the things you got for your place,” Ashlin said, looking at Jesse during the last part, which let him know that his assumption was way off base.
“Are you going to be okay?” Ryker asked, as he pulled her into a hug.
“Yeah, thanks though.” When she pulled away, that was when Jesse noticed her eyes were rimmed with red and looked rather puffy. Had she been crying?
“Come on, boo. I want to try out those new sheets of ours.”
Hannah handed the laundry over to Ashlin, gave her a hug, and then laced her fingers with Ryker’s. Jesse was a giant ass.
Before the two love birds walked away, Ryker leaned in toward Jesse and said, “You’re a giant fuck stick. I thought better of you.”
Pain ricocheted through Jesse’s chest at the disappointment in Ryker’s voice.
“I’m sorry,” Jesse said faintly, as Ryker walked away. He owed his friend, big time.
Once Ryker and Hannah were gone, Jesse looked up at Ashlin, who had just started to shut her door on him, but he stopped her and pushed his way in. He may have been inviting himself in, but she wasn’t screaming bloody murder, so he thought it was okay.
“What the hell are you doing?” she asked, as her hands went to her hips. She was adorable when she was mad.
Clearing his throat, he said, “I know you might not want to see me right now…”
“You can say that again,” she interrupted.
“But, I wanted to talk to you.”
“You lost that chance, Jesse.”
“I know, but please let me explain.”
“Why would I do that? You let me walk away…after I told you the darkest secret of my life, you just let me walk away. Then you didn’t contact me, you didn’t bother to see if I got home alright or see how I was doing. Finally, when you pulled your head out of your ass, you come over here and instantly accused Ryker and me of cheating. Don’t you know by now that you are the only man I have ever been interested in? I think that should have been clear.”
“I’m a dickhead,” he confessed, which made a slight smile crack at the corner of Ashlin’s lips.
“That pretty much sums it up.”
“I need to talk to you, Ashlin. Please.”
She weighed her options as she looked him up and down. Her light perusal of his body made a wave of heat take over his body.
“Fine,” she succumbed, as she stepped aside, placed the laundry on the floor, and went to the couch.
Taking a deep breath, Jesse followed her to the couch and sat next to her, close enough to hold her hand, which thankfully, she allowed.
He looked down at their joined hands and he said, “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, not just about today, but mostly about not going after you on Thanksgiving. The moment you confided in me, I froze. Not because of the information you told me…that doesn’t bother me. What bothered me was the look in your eyes, the hurt, and the pain you went through. I read it all in your one confession, and I was so upset, so overwhelmed, I didn’t know how to react. I still don’t, but what I do know is that you need to know I don’t care about what happened in your past. I care what happened to you, but I don’t judge you for it; I never will. We all have our demons, our hidden secrets, but those demons are what made us into who we are today.”
Ashlin was looking down at their hands as Jesse spoke, and at that moment, he needed to see her eyes…he needed to see how she was feeling. Gently, he pressed his finger to her chin and lifted it so her eyes met his. A glassy sheen fell over her light green eyes, which cut Jesse to the core.
“I’m so damn sorry, Ashlin.”
She nodded her head as two tears fell down her cheeks.
“Please, don’t cry.” He moved in closer, wanting badly to place her on his lap, but he didn’t think it was a good idea just yet.
“You hurt me, Jesse. Out of everyone, I thought that you would accept me the most, but after I told you, after I shared, I have never felt so unwelcome in my life.”
He was disgusted with himself. He could throw a ball while four, three hundred pound men chased after him, but when it came to gathering someone up in his arms and telling them that everything was going to be okay, he froze.
“And you don’t deserve that kind of treatment, Ashlin, because you didn’t do anything wrong. You are so bright, so beautiful, and so smart that you should feel welcomed and accepted by everyone. It kills me that I was a total dick. I was just so lost. I wish I’d reacted differently, but I can’t take it back now; all I can do is hope to move fo
rward and hope that you will move forward with me.”
“Why did you think Ryker and I were together?” she asked sincerely.
Shaking his head, Jesse said, “Because I’m a giant douche bag, because I like to fuck everything up in my life at the same time, because I was so blinded that the first thing I did was jump to conclusions without trusting the fact that you care about me, that you want to be with me, or wanted to be with me, for that matter.”
A small chuckle came out of her plump, gorgeous lips. “You’re honest, I like it. I’m glad you know you’re an ass.”
Laughing as well, Jesse said, “It’s not hard to see when you fuck everything up.”
“Not everything,” Ashlin said, as she leaned a little closer.
“No?” he raised his eyebrow at her.
She shook her head no and straddled his lap. That was when he noticed she wasn’t wearing a bra, because her nipples were hard as hell and staring him in the eyes.
She leaned down to his ear and said, “I want to be mad at you, but when you come over here and beg for my forgiveness, looking all sexy, it’s hard to stay away from you.”
He felt his cock start to twitch and bang at his boxers as she shifted on his lap.
“Would you say the sexiness saved me?” he asked jokingly.
“I would say you’re pretty damn lucky you have muscles and know how to wear some pretty revealing clothes.”
“Sweatpants and a shirt are revealing?” he asked, as her finger started to drift up and down his chest.
“That shirt is so tight on you, I’m pretty sure I can see your abs.”
“It’s not that tight,” he chuckled.
She continued to stroke his chest, and once her finger slid under his shirt, his hand stopped hers. Her eyes widened as she looked at him to see what was wrong.
“I need to know that we’re okay, that you forgive me for being an ass.”
“I do,” she said honestly. “I’m not going to lie, I was hurt, badly, but seeing the sincerity in your face and how upset you were, I can tell that you meant it. I just need you to know that I’m not perfect, not even close to it. I have a different background that has shaped me into the person I am today, but meeting you has shaped me differently. Normally, I wouldn’t have trusted to tell you, to let you back in, but I know, even if at some point we disappoint each other, we will always come back, even if it’s a day later.”