Her heart thundered as he put his feelings, as well as hers, into words perfectly. “I feel the same way.”
His fingers closed over hand. “Then stop trying to break up with me.”
She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m so afraid you’ll miss something next year and resent me for it in the future.”
“Babe, the only thing I’m going to miss is you.”
“I don’t want you to go.” It was the first time she admitted it out loud and it crushed her to hear how selfish those words sounded. “I know you have to, but…I can’t imagine not seeing you every day. It’s going to kill me.”
“Me too. But I’m not far and I promise I’ll be back whenever I can. And just think, you can come see me, too. We might actually have more time alone than we do now.”
“What about your roommate?”
“I’ll kick him out,” he laughed and she smiled as his dark gaze settled on hers. “Come here.”
She turned her face to his and he gently kissed her, easing her back onto the bed. Her fingers slid through his hair as he lay beside her. As their mouths teased, his hands crept over her curves, caressing and petting. Soon she was pulling off his shirt and sliding her hands between their bodies. The moment her fingers curled around his flesh he sighed into her shoulder. “God, Kate…”
She stroked him slowly as his fingers slid into her panties, teasing gently and probing softly. She moaned as he pressed deeper, her legs falling open. He stripped away her clothes and kissed down her chest, resting his palms over the swell of her belly. Gazing down at him she smiled, wondering how anyone could be so wonderful. Although he wasn’t the father, he’d stepped in and acted like he was in so many ways. It made it extremely difficult not to believe the fantasy.
Her hand reached for his, grasping his fingers and squeezing tenderly. “I love you, Anthony.”
“I love you too, Katie.”
Her eyes closed as his kisses traveled lower. Writhing, she savored every caress. Her fingers gripped the bedding as he brought her immeasurable pleasure. Finding a comfortable position was a bit of a challenge, but they figured it out. Rolling to her side, he fit his body behind hers and slowly filled her.
Their fingers laced together, holding tight as he gently took her. Her sighs were soft and with every advance his lips pressed kisses into her skin as he whispered words of love and adoration.
“I never want to give this up, Kate,” he rasped, rolling her nipple slowly between his fingers. “Tell me we’re safe. I need to know we’re solid or I’ll never be able to go.”
“We’re safe,” she whispered, cupping her hand over his and holding him to her pounding heart. “We’re safe.”
He turned her face and caught her mouth in a kiss as he thrust one last time and trembled, his arms pulling her tight. “Stay with me tonight.”
Her heart, with all its chips and fractures couldn’t bear the thought of leaving. Nodding, she turned and looked into his eyes. “I’ll stay.”
Kate stayed at his house every night that week. Neither of their parents seemed to mind, or if they did, none of them dared to comment. Friday night was the hardest, as it was the last night before he left for school. They made love several times and Kate cried long after Anthony fell asleep. No matter how much she tried to avoid this moment, it was happening. He was leaving.
The ride to the campus was too short, but in a way, that was reassuring. Though she couldn’t carry much, she did help with unpacking and situating his desk. Ant’s roommate, a kid named Jack, was big into sports and already settled, being that the athletes arrived earlier for training. He seemed nice and Kate was glad he didn’t impose on them while they got Anthony settled.
His mother was a wreck, lingering for a solid hour after his father stated it was time to leave. His sisters hadn’t come with them and Anthony tolerated an embarrassing amount of kisses before his father finally peeled his mom away and shuffled her off to the car.
When he finally shut the door and they were alone, he sighed. “I thought they’d never leave.”
Kate smiled, but it cost her. She was next to go. “Are you nervous?”
“More anxious.”
“What will you do tomorrow?”
He shrugged. “Walk around, figure out where my classes are, and buy my books.” He sat beside her on the small dorm bed. “You could stay if you want.”
She’d thought about it, but with his roommate there and all the times she used the bathroom in the middle of the night, she didn’t want to start him off on the wrong foot with the rest of the dorm. “No, that wouldn’t be fair to Jack. Maybe next weekend.”
“Do you want to come with me to the cafeteria for dinner before you go?”
They dined on college fare and part of her was envious of the experience he was getting. On their walk back to the dorms, she held his hand. “This is really exciting, Anthony. You’re going to love it here.”
“Let’s just hope I can keep my GPA up.”
“You will.” If anything, Anthony was smart and devoted to his dreams.
When they reached the entrance to the dorms she hesitated.
“Aren’t you coming back up?” he asked, worry playing in his eyes.
“It’s getting late. I don’t want to drive home in the dark.”
The ease he held all day seemed to fade. “I hate this part.”
She hated it too. “We’ll see each other in six days.” It would be the longest six days of her life. How would they ever survive four years of this?
He walked her to her car and kissed her for several minutes at the door. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
His hand rested on her stomach. “And I’ll miss him.” He smirked and spoke to her belly. “You be good for your mother.”
She laughed so she wouldn’t cry. They always knew this would be the worst part. “I love you,” she whispered, hugging him one last time.
“Call me when you get home. You wrote down my new number, right?”
“Yes, I have it.”
He opened the car door and waited as she rolled down her window and buckled up. “Drive safe.”
Six days. She’d see him in six days.
As she drove away he stood and watched her go, not moving until she turned out of the parking lot and lost sight of him. The drive home was made in loud sobs and the ugliest of cries as she listened to the Dave Matthews CD he gave her as loud as her stereo could go.
As promised, Anthony came back the following Friday. He had lots to say about college life and seemed to be having a ball. She was thrilled to have him home again, but Sunday came too soon. Another five days of waiting to go.
As the semester carried on, and they fell into a rhythm of waiting out the hellos and suffering through the painful goodbyes, her second trimester came to a close. Her stomach seemed to grow by the minute and getting around became a challenge.
When midterms came, Anthony said he needed to study and asked if she could come there. She did, of course, but it was a terrible weekend. His bed was small and stiff and she hardly slept, which made her emotional and cranky. When she came home she was exhausted and worried.
Anthony was busier and busier as the weeks went on. It seemed he was always studying for something and the time he spent in class covered only a quarter of the work he had to accomplish on his own.
She started counting down the days to Thanksgiving break, looking forward to more than a short weekend with him. After that would come Christmas, and then he’d have one semester under his belt and only seven more to go. And she’d be a mother. It was daunting, to say the least.
Not only was she counting time on a school schedule, she was losing time to prepare for her own challenges ahead. Every night she worried about crazy things like childbirth and who would be there when the baby was born. What if she had the baby during finals and Anthony couldn’t make it back? That was one of her greatest fears, because she wanted him there as much as sh
e needed her own family present—maybe more.
As the seasons changed and the leaves turned, she accepted that she wasn’t going to wear anything stylish for some time. Her wardrobe had shifted to shades of pastel and horrid floral prints and she worried Ant would come home and be completely turned off.
The morning before Thanksgiving she spent extra time getting ready, curling her hair and putting on more makeup than she typically wore. She borrowed her mother’s earrings, the ones he liked, and tried not to spill anything on her shirt. But nothing disguised the fact that she looked like a wobbly bowling pin.
“Are you excited for Anthony to come home, love?” Her Aunt Colleen asked as she and her mother peeled potatoes for the big feast.
“I feel like a cow.”
Her aunt tsked. “Nonsense, you’re glowing.”
With every worry came the constant sense that she was having a child in a few weeks. She was a ticking time bomb.
Anthony made it to Center County around noon, but had to do some things at home before he could come over. “Do you want me to come there? I could help,” she offered over the phone. She was so eager to see him, she didn’t mind doing some extra work.
“No. I shouldn’t be long. I promise I’ll be there in a couple hours.”
A couple of hours? Disappointed, she returned to helping her aunts and her mother prepare for Thanksgiving. When Anthony finally arrived, he was beaming. He hugged her and touched her stomach and immediately all her worries about her changing body disappeared.
They sat on the couch, her shirt pulled up to her ribs and watched the baby kick. “Holy crap!” Anthony cheered when her stomach rippled as the baby moved. “He’s going to be a linebacker.”
She laughed. “Maybe his Uncle Luke can teach him how to play.”
His head cocked to the side as he sent her a strange look. “Maybe I can.”
“That too.”
Her father came into the living room searching for his shoes. “Paulie’s car broke down again. I have to go get him.”
“Do you need a hand?” Anthony asked and Kate frowned. He just got there.
“Sure. Grab your coat.”
Ant looked back at her. “Do you care if I go?”
She couldn’t mask her disappointment. “I guess not. Try not to be long though.”
He kissed her and followed her dad out of the house. She wasn’t sure why it seemed impossible to keep him in one place, but she was getting really irritated with waiting for him to return.
As the door closed, her sister came into the living room and plopped in Anthony’s empty spot. “Your stomach’s huge.”
Kate’s mouth pursed. “Thanks.”
Sheilagh eyed her belly as the baby kicked. “I think you’re having an alien.”
She rolled her eyes. “I think you’re about as tactful as a goat.”
Her baby sister shrugged, her pigtails lopsided from playing all day. “He’s growing lungs, you know.”
Kate’s brow lifted. She did know, but was surprised her little sister had such information. “That’s true.”
“And he’s getting fat so he’ll be warm when he’s not in your belly anymore.”
“How do you know that?”
She bit her thumbnail and Kate scrunched her nose, as her little fingers didn’t look freshly washed. “I read it in that book.” She pointed to the large pregnancy manual on the table.
Kate wasn’t surprised. Sheilagh had been reading since she was four and helped herself to anything lying around the house. “That book’s a little old for you.”
“Our insides look like a cow.” She reached forward and paged through the book, showing Kate the illustration of the female anatomy. It did look like the face of a cow, the fallopian tubes making up the ears.
“Boys don’t have cows in their bellies. They have other things.”
Kate laughed, lowering her shirt. “You’re so weird.”
Again, Sheilagh shrugged, as if this wasn’t news. “Your baby’s gonna have a dingle. That’s what boys have.”
“You know too much.”
She turned, her green eyes bright as a wicked smirk stretched her pudgy cheeks. “When I punch Kelly in the dingle he cries like a little girl.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Why?”
Kate laughed. “Because it’s not good.”
Sheilagh shrugged again. “He stole my bike and wouldn’t give it back.”
Taking a deep breath as if it somehow added to the reserve of patience she’d need for the trials ahead, she said, “Well, don’t go punching your nephew in the dingle.”
Her little lips parted. “He’s gonna be my nephew?”
“Yeah.”
“Will he call me Aunt Sheilagh?”
“If you want him too.”
Her eyes shifted as she smiled again. “Like a grown-up.” Sliding off the couch, she ran out of the room. “Mum! I’m gonna be an aunt!”
Kate eased back on the couch and shut her eyes, laughing to herself. Her hand rested affectionately on her belly. “I won’t let your aunt beat you up.”
An hour later, Anthony and her father were back, but the whole family was home and she felt claustrophobic. “Do you want to watch a movie in my room or something?” She just wanted some time alone with him.
“Sure—”
“Ant,” her dad called, standing in the doorway. “Can you give me a hand with something in the barn?”
“We were just going to watch a movie, Dad. Can Colin help you?”
“It’ll only take a second.”
Anthony stood and, once again, she was being kissed goodbye. “I’ll be right back.”
She scoffed and as they disappeared she mumbled, “I guess I’ll be right here—waiting.”
Anthony followed Kate’s dad out to the barn, his heart racing like it had since that morning.
“Shut the door,” Frank said, the moment they were inside.
He closed the heavy doors and faced the man he’d once found terrifying. He was still scary, but now Anthony understood the whole of him and knew he was more gentle hearted than anything else, especially when it came to his family.
“You sure about this?” Frank asked. “I won’t hold it against you if you’re rethinking things. I know your intentions were honorable.”
Ant smiled, never being surer about anything else in his life. “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure.”
Frank nodded and slid a small box across the workbench. “It’s not much. My mother wasn’t a fancy woman and I lost a lot of her things after my father passed.”
Ant’s hands were unsteady as he reached for the box, prying it open with a creak. It wasn’t anything elegant, just a simple sapphire on a silver band, but it was more valuable than anything he could afford on his own. “I think it’s perfect. Thank you, Frank—for everything.”
When he’d asked Frank for his blessing that morning, he worried the man would say no, telling him it was too soon and things were too complicated. Never in a million years did he expect to see Frank’s composure slip and the man nod tightly on the verge of tears.
“You’re good to her, Ant. That ever changes, we’ll have a problem. But you keep taking care of her the way you do, being there for her when it counts, and my blessing will hold. We’ll help you two out anyway we can.” He laughed, and patted his shoulder with his big mitt of a hand. “You’ll need all the help you can get. She’s more like her mother than most realize.”
He grinned and pocketed the ring. “I hope I never let you or her down.”
“Me too.”
When he returned to the house Kate was in a mood. He felt guilty for pushing her off the first day he was home, but he wanted to take care of this. He’d made up his mind back in October when school had interfered with their time. There was no reason for them to waste another minute. They loved each other and she was going to be his wife sooner or later. His entire week was focused on convincing her to marry him and he wasn’t going
back until that ring was on her finger.
“How about that movie?”
“Are you sure you don’t want to help anyone else? My brothers are cleaning their rooms and could use a hand—”
He kissed her until she softened, her anger slowly fading. “Stop. I’m not going anywhere. You have me until tomorrow morning.”
“I better.” She pouted, but forgiveness showed in her eyes.
They watched An Affair to Remember and Kate predictably fell asleep halfway through. He’d told his parents he was sleeping at the McCullough’s, but he hardly slept a wink that night, his brain constantly thinking of the best way to propose and, hopefully, this time, get a yes. He should wait a few days and set up something nice, but knowing her, she’d be more upset if he excluded her from his plans again.
By morning, he was still tossing and turning when he heard her get out of bed. Knowing she’d only be gone a few minutes, he grabbed his jeans off the floor and removed the ring from the box. A few minutes later she returned and slipped back under the covers.
He pulled her close. “I love waking up with you.”
She hummed and rolled to face him. “Me too. Happy Thanksgiving.”
“I’m most thankful for you.”
The house was drafty and the sky was gray. Chances were they’d get their first snow by nightfall. Pulling the covers to their shoulders, he found her hands resting on her belly. He placed his fingers over hers and chuckled as he felt the slightest flutter of a kick. Counting out her fingers, he lifted the one next to her pinky and slipped the ring over her knuckle. “Let’s wake up every morning together, Kate. Forever.”
She frowned and pulled her hand out from the covers. “Where did you get this?”
“Do you recognize it?”
“It was my grandmother’s.” Her gaze shot to his. “Anthony…what is this?”
“Yesterday I didn’t want to just help your dad fix your uncle’s car. I wanted to ask him an important question.” His heart pounded as he sent a prayer to God that she wouldn’t overreact and think him high-handed. “I love you, Kate. I want to marry you.” His hand returned to her stomach. “I want this baby to be ours and I want us to be a family. Will you marry me?”