So she didn’t sound like a total moron, she said, “He’s always loved the game.”
Ant grinned and glanced at the clock by the scoreboard. “So where are you rushing off to, Katherine?”
“I, uh…nowhere.”
“If you give me five minutes I can give you a lift home.”
Her eyes widened at his unexpected offer. “Oh, no. That’s okay. I…” Have complications. “…have a boyfriend.” Sort of.
His smile faltered, but he quickly recovered. “My mistake.” He hesitated a moment. “Well, it was nice...bumping into you.”
“Ditto.” She winced as she heard how corny her response sounded. She’d definitely watched the movie Ghost too many times since it came out a few years back.
Staring at her a moment longer, he nodded and disappeared into the guy’s locker room. Collecting her belongings, she stepped aside as a rush of beautiful young women filtered into the gym. Kate sighed as the stereo blasted and the cheerleaders fell into a well-practiced routine. When she made it to the parking lot, Nick’s car was gone.
The following day she waited for Nick at his locker as the last bell rang, but he didn’t show. When ten minutes passed and the halls were empty, she gave up.
That night she called him, but his mom said he was out with friends. It was pretty surprising how easily he could disappear in a small town. The following night was the same. By Thursday, she was highly irritated. It was one thing to just blow her off, but she needed to talk to him and she’d told his mother to tell him it was important three times.
Friday afternoon, she ditched the last five minutes of sixth period and waited in the parking lot by his car, determined to catch him before the weekend. Students anxiously pulled away from the school and the east field filled with athletes as she scanned for him. Finally, after about twenty minutes of standing in the sun, she saw him walking toward the lot—with Cheryl. Grinding her teeth, she silently counted to ten.
“Hey…Kate,” he greeted, putting some distance between him and her ex-best friend. Cheryl looked at the ground as if they were total strangers.
She’d deal with her later. Addressing Nick, she said, “I’ve been trying to get ahold of you all week.”
He palmed the back of his neck and flushed. “Yeah, my mom said you called. I’ve been busy.”
“I can see that. Can we talk? Privately?”
“Uh…” He glanced at Cheryl. “We were going to head into town—”
“It’s important. I’m sure Cheryl can meet you there.” Her friend looked up and Kate mentally dared her to object. This was serious and if she were any sort of friend she’d know that. But she wasn’t her friend and she’d never be her friend again.
“Sure.” He turned and sent Cheryl an apologetic glance, but she was clearly pissed. Rolling her eyes, Cheryl pivoted and walked toward the school. Nick turned and faced Kate. “What’s up?”
Oh God… she’d been so focused on finding him, she’d hardly thought about what she might actually say. Collecting her thoughts, she blew out a breath. “Um…”
She looked for a place to sit, but other than in his car—the place that got her into this mess—there was nowhere to rest. She leaned against the hood and hissed as the sunbaked metal scorched her thigh.
Shocked at how awkward this all seemed, she fidgeted. It wasn’t like she had much time to prepare. She peed on a stick and three minutes later—boom—pregnant. She was still processing.
“Kate?”
“I…” This was going to change his life as much as it would change hers. She actually took pity on him and hated the fact that she felt responsible for the unwelcome news about to hit him, even though this was both of their faults.
Just say it! “I’m pregnant, Nick.”
His brows shot up. “What?”
God, it felt good to tell someone. “I’m pregnant,” she repeated. Now that all the cards were on the table they could work on their plan. It was such a relief to have someone share the burden.
“Since when?”
“I’m guessing since last month.” There hadn’t been anyone before him.
“Jeeze, Kate.” His cheeks flushed as he blew out a heavy breath. “What are you gonna do?”
She frowned as the word you heaped all the responsibility right back into her lap. “I figured the first thing to do was tell the father.” Then they should probably let their parents know, because there was no way they were hiding this or affording it on their own.
He looked at her and paused. “Me?” He laughed. “It’s not mine.”
Gaping at him she took a moment to fathom that he was actually trying to deny the paternity. “Nick, it can only be yours.”
“How do I know that?”
“Because it’s yours,” she said plainly.
“That’s impossible. We used a condom. I think you need to find the real dad.”
Oh, her Irish shot right up. Unprepared for such denial and certain as hell this wasn’t the second coming of Christ, her mother’s voice came rushing out of her in a way she’d never experienced before.
“Are you out of your ever loving mind? Of course it’s yours! It was you pokin’ at me four weeks ago and there hasn’t been anyone since—though I can’t say the same for you. Now, are you gonna be a man about this or not, because what I need is a man. This baby needs a man, because it’s gonna be needin’ a father in about eight months.”
Holy shit. She’d never lost her cool like that before. It was as if something triggered a maternal rage in her that had zero tolerance for bullshit. Catching her breath, she stared at him, his shock likely reflecting hers. In a calmer voice, she mumbled, “I need you to be onboard with this, Nick. We have to do this together.”
Eyes wide, face pale, he stared at her as if she’d gone mad. What sort of man had sex and then acted like the only explanation for an accident was the Immaculate Conception? They had to be realistic. This was scary and she couldn’t deal with it on her own.
When he still wasn’t speaking she scoffed. “Well?”
“I don’t know what to say,” he muttered, blinking stupidly. “Are you sure? I mean, I wore a condom.”
Don’t freak out. She forced back her temper and calmly explained, “I took seven tests, Nick. Every single one was positive.”
“Shit,” he hissed, pacing away and gripping the back of his neck again. “Shit! This sucks, Kate. I’m going to Michigan in the fall.”
A pinch of regret took hold and again she felt solely responsible for something they both caused. This wasn’t her plan either. Why did her spoiled dreams seem less significant than his? Sure, she wasn’t going to college, but she’d hoped to find a job and get her own place. A nursery wasn’t anywhere in that plan.
Still, she apologized. “I’m sorry.” She was sorry for both of them. And this hadn’t been some intentional scheme to derail his life. He had to realize that.
“You’re only a couple weeks. We could take you somewhere. There are places that—”
“Absolutely not, Nick. I can’t do that.” The sense of being cornered hit hard and she took a step back.
“No one has to know—”
“I’ll know.”
“But what about me? I don’t want a kid. People have abortions, Kate. It’s your right to choose.”
Her hand protectively went to her stomach as her chin trembled. “I don’t give a shit about what the law says. I’m not putting my mind or my body through something like that.” Guilt washed over her. It did seem like the simplest solution to get them both out of a bind, but something inside of her told her that sort of decision wasn’t simple at all. The emotional fall out might destroy her and she was already in a fragile state.
Though she never took a stance on the issue, those sorts of methods didn’t fly in her family. They were breeders—big, Irish breeders—and if anyone ever suspected her of doing such a thing, they’d likely send her to a convent to repent—they might do that anyway. Maybe that was where she belonged.
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The personal repercussions of such a decision would linger and her conscience immediately rejected that option as any sort of solution at all. She’d never survive that, especially if it were a secret she had to bear for the rest of her life.
Her vision blurred and she suddenly wanted her mother with a fierceness she hadn’t felt since childhood. Though Nick was right there with her, she’d never felt so alone. Maybe she could tell her mother and it wouldn’t be all that bad. They could plan a baby shower with the aunts and knit booties and paint half her room pink or blue.
Oh, come on, Kate!
Her mother was a devoted Catholic. There was no way she’d see any solution other than forcing a marriage between her and the town playboy. There’d be talk of baptisms and meetings with priests and Kate would be branded for the rest of her life once she jumped through all the hoops it would take to find a respectable position in her family’s eyes again.
Her stomach hurt. Why couldn’t the uncomfortable stuff be over? She’d made a mistake and didn’t need anyone driving the point home. Yes, she’d need help, but mostly financially and only until she found a job, which she still planned to do right after graduation. She had a plan. Sort of. But the idea of repeating her plan over and over again for the next nine months while others judged her and questioned her irresponsibleness left her winded before the explanations even left her mouth.
Maybe it would be easier to just marry Nick, pretend they were in love, and that this wasn’t such a big mistake. But he didn’t want a marriage any more than he wanted a child.
She looked at him, not feeling the attraction she felt in the months leading up to this moment. God, she didn’t want to marry him either—not that it was on the table. But even if it was she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t imagine a future with him no matter how hard she tried. Maybe she’d be a single mum and he’d be the sort of father that split the holidays and took the baby every other weekend.
A tear fell from her lashes. She was on her own. Her life would be forever changed. She loved her siblings and, as the oldest, she was well practiced at feedings and diapers, but this was different. This was her baby and she was terrified.
Why had she pulled away from her family? They were once her everything. She was in such a rush to break away from the chaos, she never thought about all the emotional securities she’d given up.
They wouldn’t turn their backs on her like Nick. They wouldn’t betray her like Cheryl. Sure, they’d be disappointed, but they’d support her once the shock faded. It had to eventually fade, right? She had to make things right at home again. Enough with the selfish teenage antics and only pulling her weight enough to get by without getting grounded. She needed to grow up.
“Kate, are you listening?”
She shook her head and realized Nick had been talking for quite some time. “I’m sorry. What were you saying?”
“There’s a place right in the next county. My buddy had to take his girl there last spring. It’s an in and out procedure.”
Her temper returned, more resolute than ever before. “I said no, Nick.”
“Why not? You’re being selfish!” he snapped. “It would be over in a day. That doesn’t seem like a lot to ask when you’re asking me to change the rest of my life!”
A chill chased up her spine as her anger fled and something deceptively calm took its place. “I’m not asking you for anything.”
“You’re asking me for everything!” He slashed his arm in the air, his voice rising. “I get that you don’t have any plans, but I do! And having a baby ain’t part of them.”
“Katherine?”
Startled, she spun and gasped as her brother took a slow step forward, his blue eyes sharp with concern. “Colin—” She choked on her panic. “What are you doing here?”
“I heard you arguing. Is everything all right?” His scowl hardened as he glared at Nick.
Colin was only a year younger than her, but he’d always been more mature than her. Knowing he’d heard them arguing, didn’t bode well. “Everything’s fine, Colin,” she assured with false calm.
Keeping his glare on Nick, he took a slow step forward and Nick treaded back a pace. “You sure? Because it sounded quite the opposite from over there.”
“We’re fine,” Nick said, cheeks reddened.
“I don’t remember asking you,” Colin snapped and softened his expression as he looked back to her.
She’d never heard her brother speak in a threatening tone. Ever. He was not the intimidating sort. But he was a McCullough and she supposed all of them had their moments. He was overdue for a freak out.
Figuring she’d better reassure him, she took her brother’s arm. “I’m fine. Come on. Let’s go home.”
Nick held Colin’s stare but couldn’t match the menacing look in her brother’s eyes. She tugged his arm again. “I wanna go home, Colin.”
He took a step back and glanced at her, his gaze briefly dropping to her stomach. He draped a protective arm over her shoulders, but before he took another step, he turned to Nick and hissed, “Stay away from my family.”
Maybe he didn’t hear everything. Maybe he just saw his sister in a hostile situation and didn’t like it. Either way, she was grateful for the rescue.
As he walked her to her Beretta, he continued to scowl. The uncertainty was excruciating. If he overheard, she had to make sure he kept his mouth shut. Everyone would find out eventually, but she wanted to be the one to tell them.
When he lingered at her car door, she couldn’t bear his silence anymore. “Just say whatever’s on your mind, Colin.”
He glanced toward the field. Nick was gone, but he stared as if he were still there. “Is it true?”
Her shoulders sagged. This was the first turn of the page, the start of the many unpredictable chapters to follow. Lowering her gaze, she whispered, “Yes.”
He sighed. “Kate…”
“Please don’t judge me. I didn’t do anything that half the school hasn’t done.”
A deep V formed between his dark brows resembling their father in so many ways. “I’m not judging you.”
“Well, don’t pity me either.”
“Oh, come on, Kate. Even I know this isn’t something you wanted—at least not yet.”
Her jaw stiffened as her vision blurred. “It may not be something I asked for, but I will want this child as much as any child can be wanted, Colin. There are plenty of unplanned blessings in this world.”
“I know you will. I’m just…” He shook his head and she had no doubt he wanted to remind her of the church’s stance on many things.
She couldn’t bear the lecture. “I’m keeping it. And I’m not getting married.”
He drew back, a look of revulsion twisting his face. “I’ll be damned if I let you tie your life to that prick. You don’t need him, Kate. You have us.”
His acceptance was so unexpected and so needed, she lost it. Looking up at him, her face pinched as tears fell unchecked. “I love you, Colin. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that right now.”
“Hey.” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight. Colin had always seemed like a pillar of strength, never battling the trials of adolescence the way she had. Somehow he’d weathered all the awkwardness of high school, his focus on the end goal resolute and assured, and she needed his strength now.
“It’s okay. We’re here for you, Kate. You know that. That’s what family is. It’ll all work out. Don’t cry over him.”
She wiped the back of her hand over her cheeks and nodded. Pulling herself together. “Sorry. I’ve been really emotional these past few days. I’m under a lot of stress.”
He nodded. “When will you tell Mum and Dad?”
Colin was always upfront and it was no surprise he’d want to unburden this secret he’d unintentionally borrowed as soon as possible. “When I’m ready.”
He nodded again. “If you need me to be there with you, I will.”
Wind caught a lock of he
r red hair and brought it whipping across her cheek. She’d do her best to break the news as soon as she came to terms with it herself, but certain things, like Nick’s role in all this, would remain private.
“No one knows about Nick, Colin. I’d rather save my son or daughter the chance of ever feeling unwanted. Do you understand?”
“I understand, but Mum and Dad know you’ve been hanging out with him.”
“I’ll lie if I have to. You know how old fashioned they can be. I don’t want him involved when he clearly doesn’t want to be.”
“You know I won’t lie, Kate, but I’ll keep your secret as long as no one asks.”
Accepting his conditions, she nodded. “Thanks, Col.”
Chapter Three
“You’re quiet tonight, dear.”
Kate turned her gaze from the evening news to her mother, finding it difficult to formulate a response over the tumultuous thoughts running through her mind and the fatigue that never seemed to ease.
“Perhaps you should head to bed. You look tired.”
She was tired. Exhausted really. Her father snored from the recliner on the other end of the den and all of her siblings were upstairs. She looked at her mother, really looked at her and gave her due credit for how easily she seemed to manage so much.
“Did you ever regret marrying Daddy, Mum?”
Her mother laughed. “Now what sort of question is that, Katherine? Of course I’ve regretted it. I regret it every time I break my back scooping up his dirty drawers from the floor, every time I have to lug the garbage to the edge of the drive, and I’ve regretted it all seven times I squeezed a human being from my loins while he grinned like a bloody peacock sucking on a fat cigar—like the hard part was over.”
Her mother sighed and smiled at her father with aged adoration. His belly rose under his red flannel shirt with each breath. “But at the end of the day I love the bastard anyway, so I suppose you could say my stupidity outweighs my commonsense.”
She smiled, loving her mother for always being exactly who she was. “Was it really that bad, squeezing us out?”