“Oh, God, Vigil. I’m so sorry! It’s all my fault—” I began, but he interrupted.
“It was not your fault. It was entirely my decision and I do not regret a second of it,” he said firmly, his tone harsh. “Normally, I would take whatever punishment they think fair, but I have had this idea brewing inside my mind for a while.” His voice softened as he continued, “I did not know how I was going to make them all agree to this, though. It had been only possible to put it into motion after this latest incident.”
“What idea did you have? What did you want them to agree to?”
“I wanted out. That brief time I spent as a human in our power switch was a mind-opening experience for me. When I got my powers back, I no longer wished to bear the Gray Hood. I no longer wanted the title and the responsibilities it held,” he stated. “But how could I make them release me from my duties as a Gray Hood Bearer? None of us has ever wished for this before.”
“What did you do to make them agree?” I asked with wide eyes.
“When the punishment was being discussed, I subtly implied that it should be exactly what I wanted, for them to dismiss me from my duty and strip me of my cloak. I tricked them, made them think that taking my job away would be a fair punishment. There has never been anyone who ever wanted to ‘quit’ before.”
“And they agreed?” I asked, surprised.
“Not at first. They thought it was too drastic a punishment, to take away my purpose in life like that. They did not know I’ve already found a new purpose. I had to steer them in the direction I wanted, make them think I was being honorable for taking this decision and that it was a fair result of my actions. I made them agree.
“I manipulated them and lied. I am no longer one of them. I wasn’t even before they agreed,” he said in a low voice, his tone mixed with shame, excitement, fear and a hint of vulnerability as well.
“Does that mean you’re human now?”
“No, it does not. But close enough … the closest I could ever get, I suppose,” he explained with a soft smile. “I do not have the Gray Hood powers, but I am still of their race, and we have a magic of our own. And I still have Death’s gift bestowed on me, which makes me far from powerless. But I am, however, officially and fully excused from my duties as a Gray Hooded One from now on.”
“And let me guess, you’ve decided to spend your retirement days on this lovely little planet called Earth, am I correct?” I asked, grinning widely and squeezing his hand eagerly.
“Indeed I have.” He smiled back. “So, are you going to tell me why you are dressed like this?” Vigil asked, changing the subject.
“Oh, today is my wedding day!” I exclaimed happily. “And this is my wedding dress,” I added, beaming proudly.
“Wedding? Is it a celebration of sorts?” he asked, puzzled.
“Oh, Jeez, Vig. You still have so much to catch up on about human habits!” I huffed at his clueless face. “Yes, it’s a ceremony we humans have to celebrate the union of two people who love each other and want to spend their lives together,” I explained. “So we have this party and call all our friends to commemorate the moment with us. That’s why I called. You are a special friend and I wanted you to be here with us.”
“Oh, I see. It makes sense. Tristan is your soulmate, after all. It is inevitable that you want to be with him,” he stated matter-of-factly.
People had often spoken that line during the years I’d known Tristan, and sure, it sounded romantic, but to be honest, I wasn’t much into this fairy-tale nonsense. Soulmates and happily-ever-afters and things like that just didn’t exist.
“Come on, you say it as if you really believe in this, like it’s a real thing.” I laughed at him.
“It is very real. How could you not believe in it?” he said, puzzled.
“Are you saying that Tristan is the other half of me? The piece that is missing to make me whole?” I said, playfully.
He shook his head. “Actually no. That is not how it works. To explain about soulmates, I first need to explain about auras,” he said, thoughtfully. “Every person has a unique aura, like a signature code built in each soul. And each aura ‘vibrates’ on different frequencies. So, sometimes there are auras that connect with your own wave signals. That happens when you find true friends or kindred spirits. Your auras vibrate in similar ways. Your boys all have connecting auras, as do you,” he explained.
Okay. That actually made a lot of sense and explained quite a bit.
“But soulmates are not complementary or co-dependent, as you have put it. Your auras are fully functional and complete on their own; there is no missing piece at all. They work completely fine alone. But when you are together, when you find a soulmate, you will have the highest points of connection ever made, and your auras connect in a way that they normally don’t with others. It is a deeper connection, with a far more finely balanced tune. The frequency then amplifies, intensifies. In other words, the connection makes them both better, stronger, brighter. You become more when you are with your soulmate; you are a better version of all the things that you already are.”
He paused and watched my awed expression. “A-and Tristan is really …” I trailed off.
He watched me intently before answering me. “It is blindingly bright when you two are together. Like your souls are exploding in continuous blasts of pure energy.” Then he leaned over and grazed his fingers lightly over my cheek. “You are greater when he is at your side, and so is he when you are at his.
“Your human wedding tradition is probably a celebration of that,” he mused. “Then I am very honored to be present on your wedding day, Joe Gray.” He bowed respectfully, one of his hands still holding mine so I wouldn’t feel any pain.
“Thank you for coming, Vigil,” I said in a shaky voice, giving him another tight hug.
“It is my pleasure. Congratulations on your wedding, Joey,” he said, before stepping aside. “I must leave now, there are some things I still need to do for my transition to your world to be complete, but we will see each other again soon.”
He nodded gratefully again and bowed one last time before disappearing into thin air.
“You look so handsome in your fancy suits,” I exclaimed, walking towards Harry, Sam, Seth and Josh, a hand fluttering over my chest appreciatively after I left the balcony where I’d met Vigil and went back to the party. The boys were all wearing dark-gray suits with gray shirts underneath, and a different color tie each. I hadn’t had the opportunity to properly gush over how beautiful they all were until now.
A slow song started playing and Josh extended his hand to me. “Okay, so, I’ll take this dance with her, if you all don’t mind,” he informed the boys as he took my hand, directing us firmly to the center of the plaza.
“You look like a fairy-tale princess,” he complimented. “I’ve never danced with a princess-looking girl before … it’s a bit thrilling,” he reflected, mostly to himself, with a goofy smile.
“Stop being silly. I ain’t no princess, boy,” I teased him in a mocking tone.
“Twirl?” he suggested, already stepping away and twirling me to the rhythm of the music. He wrapped his arm around my waist again as we continued dancing across the stone floor.
I was glad I had discarded the high heels. My dress was very long and covered my feet, and no one could see I had no shoes on. Tiffany would never find them under my bed, which meant I got to walk around barefoot, unworried and pain-free the whole day.
Sam suddenly cut in on our dance. “Excuse me, but it’s my turn to dance with her now. Scoot away.” Josh made a funny face at him and walked away shaking his head in amusement. Sam could be so silly.
He grinned like the daft fool that he was, and twirled me around. “So, you are aware that you need to have a little talk with Amanda and tell her to drop the nagging about wanting to get married too, right?” he asked in a slightly worried tone.
I laughed loudly at his scared face. “All girls go into marriage-nagging mode at
weddings, Sammy. Suck it up and take it like a man. It will be over by the end of the day, don’t worry.”
“Oh, really? I didn’t know that. Huh,” he mused thoughtfully. “You and Amanda look really gorgeous today,” I remarked.
“It’s easy for Amanda. She’s beautiful in everything. I, on the other hand, actually had to put a lot of effort in looking this awesometastic today!” he said, giving me a cheesy grin, and then Harry was tapping him on the shoulder, jumping up and down to get our attention.
“Hey, let’s trade!” Harry suggested, handing a cheerful Robin to Sam while he swiftly manoeuvered in between us to have his turn dancing with me. “I never got to thank you for introducing Robin to me, by the way. She is truly amazing, Joey.”
I smiled and he leaned closer, resting his chin on my shoulder and sighing quietly while we danced. “You’re welcome, Harry. I knew you’d like her.”
“Maybe some day I’ll love her as much as I love you,” he said, quietly into my ear.
I almost skipped a step. “Harry …” I hesitated, slowing down our dance.
He leaned back to look me in the eyes. “What?” he asked, blinking curiously at me.
“I-I thought … we talked about this …” I tried to find the right words so I wouldn’t make him feel bad, but I didn’t know where to begin.
His face softened when he recognized my worried hesitance, and he smiled a little. “I know,” he said. “But I really do love you, Joe. You’re my best friend. You don’t know how happy I am for you and Tristan. Seeing you two so happy like this makes me so happy,” he confessed, with genuine honesty flashing in his green eyes.
“Really?” I said quietly.
He paused and looked intently at me, brushing his hand softly against my face. “Really, Joey.” He spoke firmly. “I was so ecstatic when you told me the news; I’ve always known you two belonged together. And I wanted you two to celebrate this moment with us, you know? Why do you think I ratted you out to Tiffany in the first place?”
I glanced at him, grateful for his honesty and for speaking what was truly in his heart. Along with Vigil, Harry was the only person that had never, ever lied to me. Even if the truth was painful or embarrassing for him, he’d always speak his mind. I was so lucky to have him in my life, to have him as my true friend.
I hugged him tightly, burying my face in his neck. He hugged me back as tightly as I had him, and we stood like that, hugging each other in silence while the music played in the background.
“Thank you for making this day happen,” I said quietly. “This is the most perfect day of my life.”
“You’re welcome. You deserve it, Joey,” he said, with a smile in his voice.
Tristan walked up to us then and it was his turn now to interrupt the dance. “May I have a dance with my wife?” he asked, with a glint in his silver eyes.
“Why of course, dear sir.” Harry faked graveness. “Mrs. Halloway, ’twas a pleasure!” He took a step back and tilted his imaginary hat before leaving us to dance alone.
Tristan turned to me with a gentle smile, his gray eyes twinkling as he looked down at me. “Have I told you already how beautiful you look today?” he asked softly, as he put one hand on my waist and pulled me closer to him, his amazing scent enveloping me as I pressed against him. Then he dipped his head and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
“This dress makes you look even more magical than you already are,” he said, and leaned close to whisper softly in my ear, “But I have to confess that although it is really a lovely dress, I can’t wait to take it off you tonight.”
Okay. Blushing like a blooming ripe tomato now. I was so glad he couldn’t see my face. Just to be sure, I rested my head on his chest to avoid making eye contact, and continued dancing, but he knew what I was trying to hide and I could feel him shaking a little with laughter. He passed his fingers softly over my hair in gentle strokes as we swayed to the slow music.
“I wish we could stay dancing like this for ever.” I sighed in his arms, content to listen the amazing sound of his heart beating. “I wish you could feel how happy I am right now.”
“I can,” he murmured, his voice wavering with emotion as he tightened his grip around me. “I’ll remember this day always.”
I smiled and snuggled against his chest, while everyone around the plaza looked at the two of us dancing in the middle. My mom was wiping a few tears from the corners of her eyes, and I saw the smiling faces of my boys, and Tiffany, Amanda, Becca and all of our friends as they watched us as we danced.
I will always remember the overwhelming happiness I felt that day. For as long as I live and even after that. A love larger than life to remember.
I closed my eyes and everybody faded out, leaving only Tristan’s warm presence pressed against me, his arms enveloping me in a treasured embrace. It was only him and me dancing now, and that was all that mattered. A lovely ghost boy dancing with his witchy girl.
Who was to say it wouldn’t last for ever?
It had been a really extraordinary, memorable day, a real-life fairy-tale moment for me – for all of us. It almost felt like we were all under a love spell. It felt surreal and intoxicating, like we were all immersed in a summer dream’s haze.
I watched the smiling faces of everybody I loved the most celebrating. The sun was casting its last rays of vibrant, warm colors over the horizon and the night sky descended quickly with a bright moon in its wake.
As the party continued on, I knew people were talking to me, and part of me listened and even responded somehow, but another part of me never stopped searching the plaza for the sterling-gray eyes that I knew shone with the brightest light of them all.
I would find him somewhere, talking, smiling kindly or merely listening to a group of friends chatting, but his eyes would also drift away from time to time, searching for mine. Our gazes would dance endlessly across the square, always longing for the awareness of each other’s presence, and then when our gaze finally met, his eyes would shine for a brief second with an emotion so strong it took my breath away, each and every single time.
And I knew my eyes reflected the same emotion I witnessed in his, the same force, and the same undeniable truth.
Never ending love.
Acknowledgements
I dedicate this book first and foremost to the fans and to all the lost girls and lost boys out there.
I dedicate it also to my husband for sharing with me the good moments of my life, for helping me in the hard times and for being by my side always.
I’m brighter, stronger and happier when I’m at his side.
I dedicate this book to my two amazing editors Gillian Green and Emily Yau and I thank them immensely for all their help, encouragement and support.
Keep rocking always.
Lily.
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Lilian Carmine, The Lost Girl
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