“Not yet. Someday, though—someday I’ll snap. I won’t be able to control myself. I could…I could hurt you.”
“I don’t think you ever would,” Seri says softly.
She strokes her fingers over my cheeks and then leans back on her heels, releasing my face. Her eyes droop closed for a moment, and when she opens them again, her face is blank.
“You have said you will protect us,” Netti says. “You are putting yourself in danger for us. That is not the behavior of a sociopath.”
I swallow hard and try to adjust my thoughts to deal with Netti again. I wonder if this is how translators feel when they have to go back and forth between languages.
“I’m not sure if that counts.”
“Why would it not?” Netti raises an eyebrow at me.
I don’t have an answer, so I give her another example.
“I treated Margot like shit, too. I should feel bad about it, but I don’t—not really. You should be afraid of me. I might be just as dangerous as Kyle. I’m fucked up, Netti. You do realize that, don’t you?”
“We understand.”
“Do you? Aren’t you afraid that I might hurt you?”
“We are only afraid that you might change your mind. You might decide that you do not want the…the burden of us.”
I let out a short, humorless laugh.
“You are unconventional; that’s for sure.”
“But you don’t mind,” she says. “You don’t seem to care that we are what we are. Iris…Iris believes you want her to stay as well, not just Seri.”
“I want all of you to stay. I just think Seri should know what’s going on.”
“She can’t know.”
“Yeah, yeah. Seri has to be protected. So you’ve said. But that’s not really it. You’re afraid of how Seri will take it if she finds out about the rest of you. You’re afraid of what will happen if she finds out she is the sister who died.”
“Yes,” Netti whispers.
“If she knows, she might…I mean, could she force you to leave?”
“We don’t know.”
“If Iris was first, it seems she should be the one in control.”
“Iris has never been in control of her life.”
“But you still think Seri needs her help. If Iris has never been able to help herself, how is she supposed to help Seri?”
“If Seri no longer needed us,” Netti says quietly, “we would be less inclined to appear. Iris is our strength. If you…if you could be the one who protected Seri, she would have no use for us.”
“You mean, if Seri felt safe enough with me, you and Iris would just…just what? Cease to exist?”
“Possibly. Isn’t that what you want?”
“I…I’m not sure.” Throughout all of this, I haven’t considered the idea that this combination of women in front of me could somehow change into one being. Would the others leave, or would they all merge into one?
Do I even want that to happen?
Without a doubt, all of this is confusing and frustrating and completely fucked up, but I’m not convinced I would want it any other way.
“Bishop?” Netti reaches over and touches my arm.
“Yeah?”
“Seri cares for you deeply,” she says. “Don’t frighten her again.”
“Well, what should I do next time? I don’t want to upset Seri, but sometimes I need to talk to you.”
“Whisper my name three times,” she says. “I’ll hear you.”
“That would be a lot simpler.” I smile. “Can you bring Seri back now? I know I scared her, and I don’t want her to be afraid of me.”
“Yes, I can do that, but Bishop—you can’t tell her any of this.”
“Don’t you think she has a right to know?”
“Maybe someday,” Netti says, “but she is fragile. We are all fragile.”
“That’s a crock of shit. You don’t tell her because you and Iris are afraid.”
“Yes, we are.”
“What do you think will happen if Seri understands the truth? What do you think she will do if she knows she is not the only one inside of there and that she wasn’t even the first?”
“We don’t know. We just know that the risk is too high.”
“I don’t think you give Seri enough credit.” I hold my hands up in surrender before Netti can argue about it any longer and change the subject. “What else do I need to know about Kyle?”
“I think Iris has told you everything,” Netti says. “None of what she said was untrue. He is ruthless, and we don’t think he will stop looking for us.”
“And he did try to kill her before.”
“That was his intent.”
“So it stands to reason that he would try again.” Dark thoughts invade my mind once more.
“We believe he will. If he finds us, he will kill us.”
“I’m not going to let that happen.”
Chapter 27
Weeks pass.
Solo has become a sleek and muscular cat, and he is determined to reach the highest points possible inside of the cabin. His latest game is to climb to the top of whatever surface he can reach and knock whatever is on said surface to the floor. He’s driving me nuts, but he is still fun to watch.
“Bishop, do you know what the date is?”
“No,” I reply. “Late December, I guess. Something like that.”
“Has Christmas passed?”
“I have no idea.” I turn on the weather radio for the first time in a while, pleased when I get a strong signal and can clearly hear the forecast.
“Sunday, December twenty-fourth. At Lac la Martre, sunny. Increasing cloudiness this afternoon. Fog patches dissipating this morning. Wind up to fifteen kilometers per hour. High minus fourteen…”
“Christmas Eve, I guess.” I flip the radio off.
“Oh wow! We should put up a tree!”
“A tree?”
“Yes! It’s Christmas Eve, and we should have a tree.”
“Whatever for?” I ask. “Do you think Santa can make it down the chimney?”
“I assume, since we’re this close to the North Pole, that he’ll arrive early,” Seri says with a smile. “We should get a tree up quickly.”
“We are a long way from the North Pole.” When I look over at Seri, she’s pouting, and I realize she’s totally serious. I sigh. “Fine. We can go find a small one.”
“Yay!” Seri claps her hands and rushes to the door.
We find a small pine tree, and I chop it down. Seri is insanely excited, and I can’t help but smile as she starts decorating the tree with little scraps of caribou hide tied into bows.
“I need something more colorful,” she says when she runs out of bows.
“My empty cigarettes packs have red on them.” I dig a couple out of the trash bin and toss them at her.
“Perfect!”
I shake my head and leave her to her decorating while I get lunch together. As I stand in the kitchen, deboning fish and shoving Solo away from the food, I hear the rumble of a snowmobile engine in the distance. As it gets closer, I try to get a look at it out the window, but I can’t see it. I walk up to the door and shove my feet into my boots.
“What’s that?” Seri asks.
“Snowmobile,” I say. “Stay inside.”
“Why?” Seri asks as she moves closer to the door.
“Back up.” I hold my hand out, preventing her progress. “I don’t know who it is.”
I open the door a crack and peer out. The snowmobile has a familiar blue stripe down the side, but I don’t relax until it’s parked next to my Jeep, and Margot takes off her helmet.
“It’s Margot.” I sigh and place my hand over my chest, trying to calm my heart.
“What is she doing here?” Seri asks.
“Not sure.” I realize this does present a bit of an issue, not the least of which is Seri and Margot actually meeting each other. I have no idea how that will play out, but I’m more concerned about what
information Margot has that would bring her all the way up here.
“Do I get to meet her?” Seri asks as she folds her arms over her chest.
“Let me at least see what she wants first.” I pull my parka on and head out the door, shutting it firmly behind me.
“Hey there!” Margot waves.
“Hey.” I walk over to her, already feeling my muscles tighten.
Just the thought of someone walking up to my cabin has always put me on edge, and watching Margot’s approach is no different. My skin crawls and the back of my throat goes dry. I have to fight off the urge to just tell her to go the fuck away.
“I’m sorry,” Margot says immediately. “I know you don’t like company.”
“It’s all right,” I tell her. She knows perfectly well that it isn’t, but she’s obviously here for a reason. “What is it?”
“I thought you should know that guy is back in town. He’s asking more questions about your friend. Amanda came by and said he’d been to the clinic a couple of times.”
Panic wells up inside of me.
“What did she tell him?”
“Nothing,” Margot says. “Don’t worry. She didn’t even want to say anything to me, but she said she got a weird vibe from him. She did recognize the picture and thought I should know about it even though you apparently told her not to mention it to me.”
“It was before we talked,” I say.
A gust of wind flips Margot’s hood from her head, and she grabs the fur lining to pull it back down, shivering.
“You want to come in?” I hate to even make the suggestion, but the wind is cold.
“I’m sure it’s warmer inside.”
“Okay, but…well, just be nice, okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be nice?” Margot narrows her eyes at me.
“Fuck if I know. This is not the sort of thing I know how to deal with.”
“It will be fine, Bishop.”
“If you say so.”
“So,” Margot asks very softly, “who am I meeting?”
“She’s Seri right now,” I reply just as quietly. “I don’t know how she is going to react to you. Just don’t freak out, okay? And don’t say anything to her about…well, about the others.”
“Is this supposed to make sense?”
“None of it ever does.” I give her a half-hearted smile as I start leading her back to the cabin door. “But Seri doesn’t know about Iris or Netti, so just don’t mention them.”
“I have no idea how that would come up in polite conversation anyway.”
With great trepidation, I open the door and allow Margot inside. Seri is just inside the door, holding Solo in her arms.
“Seri, this is Margot.”
“Hello,” Margot says with a polite smile. She pulls off her gloves before holding out her hand, and Seri has to shuffle the cat around in her arms to shake it.
Apparently, Solo doesn’t appreciate the extra company. He wriggles in Seri’s arms and gives her a good scratch on her hand. She releases him with a sharp cry, and he scampers under the bed.
“Uh…that was Solo,” I say.
“I see.” Margot snickers.
“Are you all right?” I ask Seri.
“I’m fine,” she says as she rubs the scratch on her hand. “He just startled me.”
“Sorry about that.” I turn back to Margot. “He’s not accustomed to visitors.”
“Pets are supposed to mimic their owners,” Margot replies.
“Very funny.” I stand with the two women on either side of me, trying to figure out how this could be any more awkward. I should probably offer Margot a drink or something, but I can’t think of the right words.
“Would you like something to drink?” Seri says suddenly.
Yeah, I guess those words work well.
“Yes, please.”
“Well,” Seri says with a sheepish smile, “there’s water, whiskey, and maybe some electrolyte fluids.” She laughs loudly. “Is it too early for the whiskey?”
“Water would be great,” Margot says. She takes off her parka and hangs it on one of the hooks by the door.
“I’m the one who needs the whiskey,” I mutter.
“What was that?” Seri asks.
“Nothing.”
Margot removes her parka while Seri pours water.
“A Christmas tree?” Margot raises an eyebrow at me. “Since when do you celebrate a holiday?”
“Her idea.” I point my thumb at Seri. “I have nothing to do with this.”
“I didn’t even realize it was Christmas already,” Seri says with a bright smile. She hands Margot the glass. “It’s rather easy to lose track of time up here, and Bishop is allergic to clocks and calendars.”
Margot laughs.
“I am not.” I scowl at her. “I just don’t see the point. I know it’s spring when it gets warmer.”
“You know the hunting season dates,” Margot says.
“Yeah, and once the weather warms up, I’ll bother looking up the date.”
“So what brings you out here, Margot?” Seri asks.
“Well,” Margot says as she runs a finger around the rim of her glass, “it’s about that man who is looking for you.”
“Oh.” Seri goes quiet as she drops her gaze to the floor.
“He left the B and B shortly after I spoke with you,” Margot says, “and I thought that might be the end of it. But he’s back here now. I’m not sure why. I just know he’s started putting up flyers.”
“Flyers of me?” Seri’s hands start to shake, and she sits down on the chair with a thud. “I don’t understand. How does he know I’m in the area?”
“He doesn’t.” I walk over and place my hand on her shoulder. “He just doesn’t know where else to look.”
“He’s changed the story as well,” Margot says. “When he came to the clinic, he said she was wanted in the States—drug trafficking. Amanda asked him if he had filed a report with the Mounties, and he dodged the question.”
“He isn’t going to want the police involved,” I say. “They wouldn’t just look into her past; they would also look into his.”
“I think you’re right,” Margot says. “It seems he’s made a few people nervous. Everyone around Whatì is talking about him.”
“They love stranger-gossip,” I say. “They talked about me for months, and I lived with you.”
“Everyone knows everyone’s business around here.” Margot shrugs. “Something different is something to talk about. You know how it is. The point is, if anyone sees her, they’re going to recognize her now.”
“I told you he’d fucking find us.”
I take a deep breath before I glance down to Iris’s blazing eyes staring back up at me. She stands and places her hands on her hips.
“How the fuck does he know, huh? We aren’t safe here, are we?”
“You’re fine,” I tell her. “We’re miles from Whatì, and the only people who know you are here are Margot and Amanda. They aren’t going to tell anyone.”
Iris turns a steely gaze at Margot, and Margot looks from Iris to me with her mouth hanging open.
“As if she won’t tell him!” Iris takes a step toward Margot, and I grab her arm. “You did tell him, didn’t you? Jealous little bitch! He’s mine now, and you’re just going to have to fucking deal with your own shit!”
“Iris!” I pull her back against me. I have no idea what she might do if she gets her hands on Margot. Iris has never struck me as violent, but this is a whole new situation, and Iris is unpredictable. “Calm the fuck down! Margot is trying to help!”
“She told him about us!”
“She did not! Why the hell would she be here now if she told him?”
Margot backs up until she nearly hits the door of the cabin. I look over to her, trying to convey with my eyes some kind of apology. I keep a tight grip on Iris as I spin her around.
“Margot is here to help.” I say the words slowly. “You are safe with me.”
br /> Iris glares up at me for a moment, but soon her expression softens. She takes a deep breath and nods.
“You can let go of me now. I’m not going to bite her!”
“Promise?” I let go of Iris after she nods.
Iris stomps to the kitchen and grabs for the whiskey bottle.
“And…that would be Iris,” I say quietly.
“Yeah,” Margot says, her eyes still wide, “I see that.”
Iris downs half the glass of whiskey and then plops the glass on the counter. She stalks back up to me and wraps her arms around my waist.
“So that asshole is still hanging around, huh?”
“He’s back in town, yes.” Margot’s voice is cautious. “He seems certain you are in the area though I’m not sure why he thinks that.”
“You sure that fucking nurse didn’t tell him about us?” Iris grits her teeth and narrows her eyes.
“Iris, will you relax?” I place my arm around her shoulders. “No one told him you are here, or he’d be here already. The fact that he’s still looking for you in Whatì is a good thing.”
“No, it really isn’t!” Iris tightens her grip around me. “The longer he stays, the more likely he is to find us.”
“At some point, he’s going to give up,” I say. “You haven’t been in Whatì for a couple of months now. Whatever trail he thinks he’s following will go cold, and he’ll move on.”
“You don’t know him like I do,” Iris mutters. “He’s determined. I don’t think he will ever give up.”
I take a deep breath, realizing that Iris is probably right. I’m not sure what I can do with the information other than to stay on guard.
“Thanks for the information, Margot,” I say. “Let me know if he leaves.”
“I will.” She hands me her empty water glass and grabs her parka from the hook.
“You did a nice job with him,” Iris calls out as Margot puts on her parka.
“I what?” Margot looks over her shoulder with a furrowed brow.
“Teaching Bishop how to fuck. You did a nice job. He’s very good at it.”
“Jesus, Iris.” I cover my eyes with my hand. “Do you really have to go there?”
“Just telling it like it is,” she says.
Margot stands at the door, eyeing Iris for a moment.
“You’re welcome,” Margot finally says. “Are you going to piss on his leg now?”