“Dad, sure, that’s bad. But it wasn’t nearly as bad as what I said to you.”
“Yeah, today was bad. What you said was pretty hurtful. I guess that’s what you were going for.”
“I didn’t realize how hurtful it was until it actually came out of my mouth. I can’t even believe those were my words.”
“Nate might have been a nice mentor or maybe a decent uncle. I’ve heard he was great with Clara when she was little. But I’m not entirely sure he would have been a good father.”
“I don’t even want to talk about him anymore. I mean, Dad, I know already, there’s no one better than you. Not him,” I say, purposefully not saying his name, “not anyone.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t go that far. But Tessa, I have devoted my life to you and your brother. I want you to be prepared for the world, and when I’m no longer here, I want that world to be a place where you and your brother will thrive and be happy.”
“Don’t say those things, Dad,” I tell him, finally letting a few tears drip from my eyes as I only briefly consider the thought of my dad not being around anymore.
“After that night with my father, I put aside all the resentment I’d felt for him. I did whatever Mom needed me to do with no complaints. I did anything my father would have normally done for the family, because I knew he believed that what he was doing was the best thing he could do. Even though, through my eyes, I thought there was nothing more important than being with family, he thought there was nothing more crucial than providing for us, financially. He watched his parents struggle with money and he didn’t want to put us through that. He hated to make Mom work so much.
“But for me, that fight was a turning point. I decided that night what kind of father I would be. I’d be the kind to provide, but at no expense to my family. That’s what motivated me in college. I wanted to do as much as possible while I was single so that I could have something of substance to offer a future wife. I wanted to give us a foundation to raise a family, so that we wouldn’t have to struggle.
“And that’s just what I did.” I can hear the satisfaction in his voice. He has accomplished so much, all on his own, and he should be proud. “I hope I’ve set a good example for you.”
“You have,” I assure him.
“On days like today, I wonder if I’ve done something wrong–”
“You haven’t, Daddy–”
“I don’t know. Maybe I haven’t been hard enough on you. Or maybe I haven’t been open enough. Maybe I’ve sheltered you too much, or been too encouraging of your individuality. Maybe I should have reined you in a little.”
“Dad, you’ve done a perfect job. I’ve just sucked at being your daughter recently. I mean, look at Trey. He’s the best kid around!”
Dad smiles and takes my hand in his. “Don’t tell your brother this,” he says softly, “but you’re the best kid around, in my book. You’re smart and so utterly talented. And, good or bad, you’re not afraid to speak your mind.”
“I know. I’m so sorry.”
“I know you are, sweetie. I forgive you. And as you continue to mature, I know you’ll learn to censor that smart mouth of yours.” He lets out a small laugh. “But it’s the people that aren’t afraid to speak up that make changes, Livvy. I wouldn’t want to take your voice from you. I just hope you’ll consider the power of your words in the future.”
“I will never, ever say anything like that to you again, Daddy. Never.”
“I hope you won’t. A few more times and you might actually start to convince me you’re on to something. I value your opinion. And I believe you when you tell me things. At least I always have in the past.”
I infer that he’s changing the subject. “I’m sorry I lied, too.”
“I am, too. I mean, as far as the drinking goes, I would have been disappointed if you’d told me that you had two drinks in a bar, but it was infinitely worse finding that out from someone else. Especially after you’d already denied it.”
“I thought I’d get away with it,” I tell him honestly. “Obviously not very smart on my part.”
“Livvy, by all means, you don’t have to tell us everything that goes on with you. You’re growing up, and with adulthood comes the need for some privacy. I’m okay with that. I’m not okay with you disobeying our rules or breaking laws, though. I didn’t raise you to be a societal burden–”
“That’s a little harsh,” I disagree.
“Today, yes. If you keep going down that path, though–”
“I won’t! I swear, Dad. I didn’t even like the alcohol. I was just happy for Jon and... well, curious.”
“Well, I hope this is the last time we have to talk about this. You’ll have plenty of time to be curious when you’re twenty-one.”
“Okay.”
“We have one more lie to address, though.”
“Jon?”
“Yes. What exactly did you tell him?”
“I just told him that I was sure you would help pay for him to go to Columbia. He’d worked so hard to get in. We have so much money that you wouldn’t miss it. And I’ve never asked for anything like this before–”
“You didn’t ask for it now, either. That’s where I was really caught off guard. When you start making your way in the world and earning your own money, by all means, you can do with it what you will. And it’s not like your mom and I don’t do charitable things–”
“I know, you guys do so much. That’s why I didn’t think this one little thing would matter.”
“This one little thing would cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. A quarter of a million, easy.”
“That can’t be right.”
“It’s right. For four years, with supplies and housing, which I know he’d need help with.”
“Oh. I had no idea. But, I mean, you could just give him the first year, right?”
He shakes his head. “This is probably a moot point. I’m certain that Jon will qualify for financial aid there. He’s mentioned he’s applied for it, and many other merit-based scholarships through his high school.”
“But what if he doesn’t get them?”
“Well, then, maybe he was meant to go to NYU.”
“He’s meant for Columbia, Dad. He has so much ambition and direction. He just has to go. And to think that money may be the only thing keeping him out? Money that we have way too much of?”
“Okay, well let’s envision you two are still together come fall, and we decided to pay for his first year. I’d worry that any gift he received from us would hurt his chances of qualifying for financial assistance for his other years there.
“I mean, I know you love him, Contessa, but love isn’t always enough to keep a couple together. I know this from experience, remember?”
“Yeah, I know.” I hide my ring finger from my dad, just in case he notices I’m not wearing the ring anymore.
“How awful would that be? He’d get a taste of Columbia for a year, and then wouldn’t be able to pay his way the following year?”
“That would suck.”
“Yes, it would.”
My lips form into a small pout, unable to think of any other options.
“Now, you know the Art Room does give a scholarship to a student every year,” he says.
“Yeah.”
“Well, we don’t have a senior enrolled anymore. We’ve been discussing with the board to see if Jon would be a candidate for it since he spent so many years there. And now that we know the truth about why he left, we know he still meets the enrollment criteria.
“It certainly wouldn’t pay his tuition for Columbia, but it would be helpful to him.”
“Do you think it’s going to happen?”
“I think it will. But I don’t want you saying anything to him about it, in case it doesn’t.”
“I won’t, Daddy!” I say as I hop up to give him a hug. “Thank you!”
“Thank the foundation,” he tells me as he wraps his arms around me tightly. “Thank your mom and Do
nna. It was their idea. But don’t thank anyone quite yet. Not until we know for sure.”
“I won’t. But I especially won’t say anything to him,” I add solemnly, sitting back down on the bed. “He doesn’t want to see me for awhile.”
“What he witnessed this afternoon was not pretty.”
“I know.”
“It’s not a side of you I care to see too much more of, either. You put him in a very awkward predicament, multiple times.”
“I know I did. I tried to apologize, but he’s really upset with me.”
“Just give it time. He’ll come around, if it’s meant to be.”
My heart sinks in my chest. All of a sudden, I’m crying uncontrollably. Dad sits next to me on the bed and puts his strong arm across my shoulders, pulling me into him. I feel him kiss the top of my head.
“Shhh, it’s okay, Contessa.”
“I just really hope it’s meant to be, Daddy. I love him.”
“I know you do.”
He lets me cry for a few minutes until I can pull myself together. I take a few deep breaths. He never lets go of me. I look up at him to meet his caring, sympathetic eyes. I can’t believe I hurt him so badly today. This man, who–as my mom had promised–would do anything for me. I know this. I always have.
“I love you, Daddy,” I say as more tears come. I hug him again with all of my strength, and he holds on tightly. “I am so sorry.”
“I know. I love you, too, Contessa.”
“You’re the best dad a girl could hope for.”
“Any dad would be happy to have you for a daughter,” he says. “But you’re my daughter, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“I really hope you wouldn’t either.”
“I wouldn’t. I promise.”
He kisses my forehead and wipes a few tears from my cheeks. “Are you hungry?”
“Starving.”
“Me, too. I took Jackson out for a burger, but I wasn’t hungry at the time. Let’s get some room service.”
After dinner, I help my mom set up the pull-out sofa in the living room for Trey. He was dozing off while the rest of us were eating, so he goes to sleep without any fuss. My parents watch him for awhile, talking quietly amongst themselves while I unpack my own things in the smaller bedroom.
“I’m beat,” I tell them both. “I think I’m going to go to bed, too.”
“Alright, Livvy,” Mom says, her hand wrapped around a warm mug of tea. I go over to them and kiss her on the cheek. Dad stands up and gives me another big hug.
“Don’t worry about things,” he says softly. “Just try to get some sleep tonight. Everything will work itself out, okay?”
I look him in the eyes, unsure that there’s any truth to what he’s saying. He may believe it, but I’m not sure I do. “I hope so.”
“Good night, Contessa.”
“Night, Dad.” I kiss him on the cheek, too, and ruffle my brother’s hair gently on my way back to my room. After changing into my night clothes, I dig my phone out of my purse and stare at it. Jon hasn’t even called. I thought he would have. I thought he’d miss me.
I dial Camille’s number. She answers on the second ring.
“Are you grounded?”
“You know?” I say, a little taken aback. “I’m not sure.”
“You still haven’t talked to him?”
“No, we talked. And Mom and I talked. I apologized, and they both seem okay. There was never any mention of punishment, though. Huh.”
“Well, see? I told you that you were blowing it out of proportion,” she says smugly.
“Right. I guess I’ll see what tomorrow brings. It could just be that they don’t want to fight with me anymore today. I know I don’t have the energy for it–not that I would fight them if they grounded me. Even I know I deserve it.”
“Have you seen Jon?”
“No,” I explain. “Mom and I went to the Ritz to meet my dad and Trey. We’re staying the night.”
“Fancy little Livvy,” my friend teases me. “You’re the only kid I know who gets rewarded for a huge argument with a night out at the Ritz.”
“Shut up, Camille,” I tell her with a laugh. “I earned this,” I joke with her.
“So, you haven’t seen him. Have you spoken to him?”
“No. He didn’t call or text or anything.”
“Are you going to call him?”
“Should I?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t there, remember? Maybe he needs a little time to let things settle. Why don’t you call him in the morning?”
“Yeah,” I say, yawning over my word. “I’m really tired anyway. I don’t think I’ll have any trouble sleeping tonight.”
“Well, if you need to talk, I’m here. And bored. And without Finn.”
“Yes, I know. I’m sorry I couldn’t be your back-up plan tonight.”
“I’m counting on you tomorrow,” she warns me. “Don’t pick anymore fights.”
“Not planning on it,” I assure her. “Thanks for being there for me, Camille.”
“It’s what friends do,” she says. “You’d do it for me.”
“Yeah, I would. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay. Good luck with Jon.”
“Thanks. Good night!”
“Livvy?” I hear my brother’s small voice through the door as soon as I get out of the shower. Wrapping my towel around myself, I open the door for him.
“What’s up, Trey?”
“Mommy and Daddy aren’t up.”
“Well, it’s early still, kiddo. Did you need something?”
“I’m hungry,” he says.
“Hungry, huh? Did Dad bring any groceries?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Alright. Why don’t we both get dressed and go down to the restaurant for breakfast? I bet they’ll have pancakes...”
“Okay,” he says with a smile, running back to the living room where his clothes are folded up neatly on a chair. When I finish putting on my jeans and shirt, I meet him on the couch to inspect him.
“Your shirt’s on inside out, silly.” He looks down at it curiously and then starts to take it off. “I’ll get it.” I fix his clothes and reach into my bag for my hair brush. “Your hair is crazy, Trey! Did you not sleep well?”
“Not really,” he says. “I miss my robot.”
“Dad didn’t bring Charlie?” I never could understand how my brother could sleep comfortably with his half-plush-half-plastic toy robot, but truth be told, it was the only way he could sleep comfortably.
“No, I forgot it. We were in a hurry.”
“I’m sorry, buddy. I’m sure he’s safe at home, missing you, too. You can both take a nap this afternoon.” I get up and write a note to my parents, letting them know where we are.
“No! Daddy said we were going to a baseball game.”
“Oh, did he? Just the two of you?”
“I think so.”
“Well, that should be fun. In that case, we better get some food in that tummy. Let’s go.”
All the way to the lobby, Trey tells me in detail what he wants for breakfast, which is pretty much everything his little mind can think of. After we’re seated, I tell him he can pick two things off of the breakfast menu. I can remember my parents making limits like that for me, too.
“Who is Nate?” my brother asks after we’re served. I set my fork down quietly and put my hands in my lap.
“You know who Nate is, Trey. He was Granna’s son.”
“But he died,” he informs me.
“I know. Why do you ask?”
“Because you said you wanted him to be your Daddy. And if he’s dead, how can he?”
I feel so terrible, knowing my brother not only heard the conversation, but still has lingering questions this morning. “Did Dad talk to you about what happened yesterday?”
“No. I was afraid to ask him. I was afraid he’d yell at me, too.”
“O
h, Trey, I am so sorry. Daddy’s not going to yell at you. Especially for something I did wrong.”
“What did you do?”
“Lots,” I tell him. “But there was no truth in what I told him yesterday. Do you understand what I mean?”
“You were lying?”
I consider his question. “Well, not telling the truth typically is lying, but it wasn’t really that. I said that to Daddy just to hurt him.”
“Why would you want to hurt him?”
“I don’t know, buddy. Because I’m a complete ingrate.”
“What’s a ingrape?”
“Ingrate,” I correct him with a smile. “And it’s nothing. I didn’t mean what I said to Dad yesterday, about Nate. I should never have said it, and I don’t mean it at all. We have the best daddy in the world.”
He stares at me, looking doubtful. I look beyond him to the restaurant entrance and see my dad. In his hands is Charlie the Robot. He catches my eye and begins to walk toward us.
“You don’t believe me?” I ask him.
“I guess,” he says.
“Turn around, Trey.” He peeks over the back of his chair with Dad just a few feet away.
“Charlie!” he exclaims, hopping out of his chair and grabbing the toy from my father.
“Best dad ever,” I suggest to him.
“Daddy, you’re the best dad ever!” he tells him. My dad smiles at him first, but then moves his warm gaze to meet mine.
“Good morning, Contessa,” he says. “How did you sleep?”
“Okay, I guess.” I honestly slept so well I wasn’t sure I moved at all. I guess all of the crying wore me out completely.
“Good.”
“You went home?”
“I snuck out as quietly as I could. But, yeah, Jackson over here missed his robot. I heard him calling out for him in the middle of the night.”
“Oh. Well, aren’t we going home this afternoon?”
“I don’t know. I thought we might stay another night.”
“Really? Oh, well, I told Camille I would hang out with her tonight, you know, if I’m not grounded,” I say cautiously. “But I’ll completely understand if I am.”
“We’re not going to ground you. I’m just glad we’re working through things. I appreciate the proactive way you approached your mom and me yesterday. I see there’s an adult in there, somewhere.”