“I’m offering you my heart, my love, my life,” she said, her voice barely audible.
He claimed both her hands with his own, then turned them over and pressed his lips to her palms. When he raised his head, his eyes held hers. “You’d give all this up for me?”
“I wouldn’t be giving up anything, Laredo. I’d be gaining so much more.”
***
That night Laredo sat up in his bunk, his back against the wall, his mind whirling. Savannah had almost made him believe it was possible for the two of them. He was well aware that she’d be the one to make all the sacrifices; while that didn’t seem right or fair, she’d assured him of her willingness to do it. To do whatever was necessary for them to be together.
Laredo rested his head between his hands and dreamed with his eyes open. A growing sense of excitement, of possibility, grew within him. He loved her.
Richard strolled into the bunkhouse and threw himself down on the cot where he’d slept that first time. Some nights he slept in the house; Laredo wished this was one of them. He supposed it depended on whether or not Grady was in the house and likely to notice. Despite her older brother’s insistence, Laredo knew Savannah would never make Richard leave. She’d even let him stay in his boyhood room, perhaps allowing herself to believe that everything was all right again. Other nights, Richard slept in the bunkhouse. Grady must be around this evening.
“Hey, what’re ya doing?” Richard asked.
“Thinking,” Laredo answered shortly, hoping Weston would take the hint.
“So you’re trying to steal Savannah away from us.”
How did Richard know? “Do you have a problem with that?” Laredo demanded, suspicious of the other man’s intentions.
“None whatsoever.” Richard’s hands flew up and he grinned broadly. “As long as you love her,” he added in melodramatic tones.
“I do.” Not until the words escaped his lips did Laredo realize he had no problem telling Richard how he felt, although he’d never once told Savannah he loved her, not in so many words, at least.
“Ain’t love grand,” Richard said with an exaggerated sigh. He flopped back on the cot and gazed up at the ceiling. “At least in the beginning.”
Laredo let the comment slide, although it hit its mark. Bull’s-eye. What started out beautiful could often end up a disaster.
“Savannah’s a real sweetheart,” Richard continued. “Did you notice how hard she worked cooking for the party? Actually, if I know my sister, she was grateful to stay in the kitchen. It’s always been difficult for her to deal with crowds, even people she’s familiar with and known most of her life. I don’t know why she’s so damn shy. Take her out of her element and she wilts like a flower without water.”
Laredo frowned, wondering if Richard was actually delivering a subtle message, one he would deny if asked, but would gleefully recount as an I-told-you-so if it came to pass.
“If you have something to say, then just say it,” Laredo muttered.
“Me?” Richard’s voice echoed his surprise. “I’m not saying anything other than how pleased I am for the two of you.”
“Nothing’s been decided.” Laredo wanted to correct that impression right off.
Richard rolled his head to one side to get a better look at Laredo. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Well, if everything goes as planned, it’ll be wonderful. I know she’ll make you happy, and once the kids start coming...”
“Kids?” The word exploded from Laredo’s lips before he thought to censor it. They wouldn’t be able to afford kids for years, although he knew Savannah was eager for a family. He was, too, but it just wasn’t going to be possible, not until he’d established himself, had some income he could count on.
“I wouldn’t advise you to wait too long,” Richard was saying. “Savannah’s already over thirty. Apparently the older the woman the more likely the chance of complications.” He shook his head wisely and sounded as if he knew what he was talking about.
“I hope you’ve got good health insurance,” he added. “From what I’ve heard, having a baby costs thousands of bucks these days.”
Health insurance? Laredo could barely afford to put food on the table, let alone worry about extras. He knew Savannah, too. If there were problems, she wouldn’t let him know because she wouldn’t want him to worry.
“What about her rose garden?” Richard asked next. “We both know how important that is to her.”
“She’s talked about moving part of it,” Laredo responded, but his mind was still stuck on the possibility of something happening to Savannah, miles from town, with few friends or neighbors. The reality of what he was asking hit him hard. It sounded romantic and exciting—the two of them building a home together, breeding quarter horses—until he thought about the risks.
“Moving part of the garden,” Richard repeated. “Great idea.” He sat up, tapping one foot on the floor. “You be real good to my big sister now, you hear?” Clapping his hands together, Richard laughed. “Hey! I’ll bet you want me to keep my mouth shut about this in front of Grady. Right?”
Laredo didn’t answer. The next time he looked up Richard was gone, which was just as well. Savannah’s brother had opened his eyes to a few home truths. While it was fine to dream about making Savannah his bride, a dream was all it would ever be. He couldn’t take her away from everything she knew and loved, couldn’t put her health and happiness at risk. One of them had to keep a level head, and it looked like the responsibility had fallen to him.
He loved her, but he couldn’t marry her. Wouldn’t marry her. As soon as it could be arranged, he’d get out of her life. For her own good, as well as his own.
***
A week later, as Grady sat on Starlight and watched over the grazing herd, his thoughts grew dark and oppressive. Sometimes he could cast off these moods when they threatened. More often, like now, he couldn’t. He worried more and more about Savannah; he wasn’t sure what had happened to his sister, but she hadn’t been herself. Not for days. Outwardly nothing seemed wrong; she was as pleasant and cordial as always. Still, the difference was there. It seemed as if the light had gone out of her eyes somehow. The joy he’d seen in her of late had vanished.
He was no expert when it came to romance, but the answer was obvious. Something had happened between her and Laredo, who seemed equally miserable. Clearly they’d suffered some sort of falling-out. It was bound to happen, Grady realized.
He hated to see his sister hurt, and it made him feel helpless. He had no idea what to do, what to say. He’d even considered talking to Caroline, this being a woman thing and all. Savannah’s best friend might be able to see her through this disappointment.
If only he could talk to someone about Richard. He supposed Cal Patterson, as his closest friend, would be that person. And yet he felt embarrassed. Ashamed. He hardly knew how it had happened, but Richard had managed to sweet-talk his way back into the family. It hadn’t taken long for Savannah to pick up where their parents had left off, Grady thought with some bitterness. She spoiled him, indulged his every whim, pandered to his wishes as if he deserved a hero’s welcome.
Grady still wanted Richard off the ranch, but every time he got to the point of ordering him to leave, he found he couldn’t. Either because of Savannah’s pleading or his own sense of...what? Obligation? Family loyalty? Pity? The one thing Grady had insisted on was that Richard sleep in the bunkhouse, but his worthless brother had found a way to thwart even that.
It had started innocently enough, with Richard cleaning out his old bedroom, sorting through his things. Before long he’d started sleeping up there. Some nights, anyway; Grady never knew for sure. It was another way Richard kept him off balance.
Grady shifted his weight in the saddle, tired after a long day. Just when he was about to head back to the ranch, h
e noticed another rider approaching at a gallop.
Laredo Smith. He waited for the man to join him.
“Problems?” Grady inquired.
“Not really.”
From the way he’d ridden out here Grady wondered if the house was on fire. “There’s a reason you came to see me, isn’t there?”
“There is.”
Apparently Smith was having a difficult time spitting out the words. He looked even worse than Savannah, pale and lifeless.
“You were right, Grady,” he said without emotion. “Have been from the first.”
Grady liked the way this conversation had started. With Richard pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes, it felt good to be told he was right about something. “How do you mean?”
“About me.”
Grady’s smile faded. This wasn’t what he wanted to hear, wasn’t what he’d expected, either. “In other words, you’re the thief Earl Chesterton suspected?”
“No.” His denial was quick. “Not that.”
Grady would have been disappointed had it been the truth. Smith had proved himself a hardworking and talented horseman, probably the best he’d ever hired. He still didn’t trust him, though, especially where his sister was concerned, and because of that, Grady had made a point of being difficult, demanding, even unreasonable. Laredo hadn’t responded in kind, not once, and in the process had earned Grady’s respect.
“You claimed I wasn’t good enough for Savannah,” Laredo said bluntly.
Grady frowned. He really didn’t like the turn this conversation had taken. “What’s going on between you two?” he asked, eyes narrowed.
Laredo ignored the question. “I need a favor.”
“You got it.”
His immediate response appeared to surprise Smith. “You might not be so fast to agree once you hear it involves money.”
Grady sobered; the wrangler was right. “How much?”
“I need a loan. Enough to pay for the repairs on my truck and get me to Oklahoma.”
“Any particular reason you’re anxious to be on your way now?”
Smith rested his hands on the saddle horn and averted his face. “I’ve got my reasons.”
“I don’t suppose those reasons have anything to do with my sister?”
“They might.”
“You hurt her, Smith, and you’ll regret it.” Grady was torn. On the one hand, Savannah’s happiness seemed to depend on this man; on the other, he’d prefer to see Smith leave, get clear away from her. Grady suspected Smith’s departure would come too late, that Savannah was already in too deep, emotionally committed to a drifter.
“Why the hell do you think I need that money so damned bad?” Laredo asked savagely. “The sooner I’m out of her life the better. Listen, I don’t expect you to give me that loan without collateral. I’ll leave the title to my truck with you until I can pay you back. Agreed?”
Grady mulled it over, not the decision to lend Laredo money—he had no problem with that—but why, exactly, Laredo seemed so anxious to leave. He sighed. He wasn’t sure if he should interfere in the man’s private affairs; he certainly wouldn’t have appreciated anyone meddling in his.
“Agreed?” Laredo said again.
“There’s another way,” Grady said thoughtfully. Laredo stared at him long and hard before Grady continued. “You could stay here. I’ll make you an offer that’ll make it worth your while. A partnership—you and me and Savannah. I understand you’re interested in breeding quarter horses. You could do that here on the Yellow Rose just as well as in Oklahoma.”
Either Laredo was speechless at the offer or he was shocked that Grady knew this much about him and his plans. Grady credited Wiley for the information. His foreman had a loose tongue.
“If you’re trying to bribe me into staying, all I can say is you’ve insulted the finest woman I know.”
“It isn’t a bribe,” Grady insisted, damning himself for his inability to say things the way he wanted. “All I’m trying to do is give you another option.” He stopped and boldly met the other man’s eyes. “You love my sister, don’t you?”
“Loving Savannah doesn’t have anything to do with the loan,” Laredo said stiffly. “Look, I have almost nothing to bring to a marriage. Nothing that’s mine, that I worked for. I can’t give her the things she’s used to and deserves to have. I won’t ask her to give up what she’s got here. And a partnership...well, there’s no way I could buy into the Yellow Rose, so a partnership is charity, pure and simple. I work for what I get—I don’t accept charity.”
Laredo’s anger seemed to burn itself out and he said, “That loan. Are you willing to give it to me or not?”
“It’s yours if you want it, but—”
“I want it.”
“All right,” Grady said, and thrust out his hand. For the very first time he believed in Laredo’s sincerity. For the first time he fully accepted that his sister had chosen a man who deserved her love. A man he respected. A man he’d misjudged.
Laredo gripped his hand, and not for the first time Grady noted the intense sadness in his eyes. Grady refused to let go, demanding Laredo’s full attention. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
Laredo nodded. “I’m sure.”
He rode off with the same urgency with which he’d approached.
Grady frowned, wishing there was something he could do. But he knew that neither Savannah nor Laredo would appreciate his intrusion in their lives. This was between them; they had to work it out themselves—or not.
Bad as he felt for both of them, he could do nothing.
***
Laredo noted the number on the small single-story dwelling in a quiet neighborhood and glanced down at the address on the slip of paper. He was about to commit perhaps the most cowardly act of his life. But what else could he do?
He stepped out of the truck and walked down the narrow path to the front door, a long narrow box tucked under his arm. He hesitated briefly, then rang the doorbell. It didn’t take long for someone to answer. Maggie Daniels’s eyes lit up in delight when she saw who it was.
“Hi, Laredo!”
Caroline revealed no such pleasure. “What are you doing here?”
He removed his hat. “I need you to do something for me if you would.”
Savannah’s friend didn’t invite him inside, and it was just as well. He wanted to leave now, immediately. As he’d told Grady, the sooner he was able to put some distance between Savannah and him, the better.
“Come in,” Caroline finally said, unlocking the screen door.
Laredo declined. “Thanks, but this should only take a moment.” He handed her the box. “Would you mind giving this to Savannah for me?”
“You can’t do it yourself?”
“No, ma’am.”
She didn’t accept the box. “Why not?”
“I don’t plan on seeing her again.” Saying the words created a terrible sense of loss. He might be convinced that leaving was for the best, but that didn’t make it any easier. He’d gotten the loan from Grady, and after supper Wiley had driven him into town to pick up his truck. He’d said his goodbyes to everyone.
Everyone except Savannah.
Although he called himself every name in the book, he couldn’t make himself do it. He couldn’t look her in the eye and pretend he didn’t love her, and that was the price she’d demand before he left. She’d insist he say it to her face and he wouldn’t be able to.
It occurred to him as he drove away from Powell’s Garage that this feeling of grief and fear and loss must be similar to what his father had experienced when he left for Vietnam all those years ago.
“Well, if you won’t come in, I’ll join you on the porch.” Caroline opened the screen door and stepped outside. Maggie, dressed in purple p
ajamas, followed her mother.
“I’d be much obliged if you’d give this to Savannah for me.” He repeated his request.
Caroline’s smile was knowing. “You love her, don’t you?”
Laredo couldn’t have denied it if he’d tried. “Sometimes love isn’t enough.”
“Really.” She crossed her arms and walked to the porch railing and stared into the night sky. “Don’t you think Savannah deserves to have you give her that gift yourself?”
“She deserves a great deal more than I can ever give her.”
Caroline turned and faced him, leaning against the railing.
“What’s in the package, Mommy?” Maggie asked.
“A gift for Savannah,” her mother answered.
“Can I see?”
Laredo opened the box. As a parting gift and a token of love, it wasn’t much, but it was all he could afford. “It’s a shawl.” He brought it out to show the little girl.
When Caroline saw the antique white silk threaded with gold strands, she sighed in appreciation. “It’s perfect for her.”
He was tempted to smile. He’d realized the same thing when he noticed it in the window of Dovie’s shop. Instantly, he’d pictured Savannah sitting on the porch, the shawl wrapped around her shoulders. He’d never thought of himself as romantic, but in some small way he hoped that when she wore it, she’d feel his love. He hoped she’d understand that even though he’d left her, he would always love her.
“I know I’m asking a lot of you,” Laredo said to Caroline.
“No,” she replied. “The one you’re asking a lot of is Savannah.”
He recognized the truth of that immediately.
“Like I said,” Caroline went on, “she deserves to have you give her this gift.”
He shook his head. “I can’t. Either you do it or I’ll mail it.”
Caroline hesitated. “Is there any message to go with it?”
He shook his head. He’d already said more than he’d intended.
“Nothing, Laredo?” Her eyes begged him not to be so cruel.