I pull one of my t-shirts over her head and push her arms through the sleeves. I quickly strip off my clothes and put on my sleep pants. When she finally looks at me, it's with such anguish in her eyes I scoop her up into my arms.
"Oh Fee," I whisper and slip beneath the covers, pulling her on top of me and the blankets on top of her.
"Please don't make me leave," she whispers brokenly.
"Never, Fee. Never," I tell her and she nods once.
"I'm so tired, Cage."
"I know, baby. I know. Rest now. I've got you."
Within seconds she drops off to sleep. I stay up all night watching to make sure she's okay. I'll do the same every night, for as long as it takes for her to feel safe again.
Chapter Seventen
Jesse
Past
I spend the rest of the afternoon cooking for dinner with Lucy and when the pie is about halfway done, Xander comes sniffing around.
"Whatcha makin'?" he asks.
"Dinner for me and Lucy. Don't even fucking think about it," I warn, pointing at him.
"Damn dude. No pie for me?" he whines.
"You think I'm stupid? I made three knowing how you fuckers are. No touching the one I set by the stove. The other two you guys can fight over."
He grins. "Kick ass. Your pie's the best."
"Just call me Betty fucking Crocker," I tease and Xander snorts.
"So Lucy."
I nod.
"What's going on there?" he asks.
"I'm not sure just yet," I tell him when Ben and Kennedy walk in looking for food. "Pies are in the oven. Two for you. One for me and Lucy. Touch it and die," I tell them.
Ben holds up his hands. "Why so hostile?"
"I want this to go right, man. I need it to."
"You got this, bro," Ben tells me and I nod.
Kennedy hops up on the counter. "What'd you make her?"
"Chicken stir fry and apple pie."
"Good choices. We'll all take off for a while tonight or stay in our wing," he tells me.
"Thanks, Kennedy. I appreciate it guys."
"She's a big deal," Ben tells me and I nod.
"Huge."
They all nod.
"We get it, man," Xander reassures me. "You're going to be the first one of us with a ball and chain and I'm feeling pretty fucking good about that."
I laugh. "It's our first date. There'll be no ball, chain, or marriage talk happening tonight."
Xander shrugs. "Marriage is a pretty cool deal with the right person."
"I suppose. But that's not even a blip on my radar at this point. Hell, I don't even know if she really likes me. Me. You know, not the guy she was crushing on, but me," I confess.
"Hmm," Kennedy says. "You'll know pretty fucking quickly. Lucy's not one to play games."
"I agree," Ben says. "I see her laying her cards on the table if it's just one of those ‘making a dream reality’ things."
"Yeah, yeah," I mutter, still not liking the possibility. "I gotta get changed. Think you can take the pies out when the timer goes off in ten minutes?"
"Does a bear shit in the woods?" Xander answers.
"Dude," I murmur, shaking my head. "Remember, only two pies for you assholes."
"Yeah, we got it. Now go get ready for your woman," Ben urges, pushing me out of the kitchen.
"Did you just use a keypad to unlock your bedroom?"
"Yep."
"Why on earth…?" she asks, hanging over my shoulder.
I gently set her on her feet, holding her up while she gets reoriented.
"We used to throw tons of parties—"
"Not anymore?" she interrupts.
I walk over and relock the door. She looks nervous. About as nervous as I feel.
"Sometimes. Not nearly as much as we used to."
"Let me guess. Women like to go into your room and snoop, take things, or lay there naked waiting for you."
I grin. "Lucy, I really love the way you think."
"Are you trying to tell me I'm wrong?"
"Nope."
"Good, because if you did I'd call you a liar."
My grin fades fast. I walk right up to her and run the pad of my index finger down her cheek. "There's one thing you'll learn about me, Cupcake. I don't lie."
"Oh come on, Jesse. Everyone lies."
"Not about stuff like that. Not about the important stuff."
"Who decides what's important?"
"Well, right now that'd be me and I'm deciding that it's really important for you to press that body up against mine so I can get you naked."
When she does it, my cock leaps in my pants. Damn she's lethal. Even with her high heels on, she's tiny, and I find that sexy as hell.
I rest a finger gently under her chin and raise her face so she's looking at me. I want her to see this is no joke to me.
"I like when you look at me, Lucy. I want you to watch me while I make you mine." I lean down and kiss her lips, her eyes drifting closed when my tongue slips into her mouth and tangles with hers. She smells so damn good. Like flowers.
I slide my hands to her back then down until I'm cupping her sweet little ass in my hands, pulling her closer. She lets out a soft moan and I pull back to look at her.
"The noises you make are so fucking hot."
She blushes and whispers, "I can't help it."
"I don't want you to help it. I want you to keep doing it."
I slide my hands back up her back and I lick, kiss and nip at her neck and jaw. Her eyes drift shut in pleasure.
Then her body stiffens a bit and I can tell she's totally out of the moment.
"I don't think I'm doing this right if you're still thinking," I say against her neck.
"I'm sorry."
"Uh-uh. No need for sorries no matter what, all right?" I ask, meeting her gaze straight on. She nods and I nod back. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.
She tries to look away. I'm not having any of that shit.
"No hiding. You've got no reason to hide here, Lucy. It's just me and you."
She blows out a breath. "That's just it."
"What?"
"It's you."
"What do you mean?"
She steps back and walks over to the table next to the bed and kicks her shoes off. She turns to me, throws her arms up, and says, "It's you!"
"Yeah, and?" I'm not getting it.
"Jesse, come on."
"I'm just a guy, Lucy."
"No, you're not. You were my schoolgirl crush—a fantasy. Now here you are standing in front of me, ready to get naked with me. On top of that you're this mega rockstar who has had so many women that you probably lost count years ago. You're a rockstar who probably knows more about pleasuring a woman than—than the women themselves."
I fold my arms over my chest, watching her pace. Damn she's wound up.
"Go on," I encourage.
"Ugh, you want me to spell it out?"
"Please do because I thought we'd been over this already."
"We have been. But…" She breaks off before she finishes, head down.
"But…" I prompt.
She looks up at me. "I feel inadequate, Jesse."
My brows raise in surprise and shock. "What? Are you kidding me right now?"
She shakes her head and bites her lip.
Holy hell, this gorgeous woman doesn't think she's enough for me? I'm the one that's not good enough for her.
I step forward and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Lucy, you're beautiful—beyond beautiful."
"Not just that, Jesse," she whispers.
It takes a minute but then it clicks.
"Inadequate sexually?"
She nods.
What kind of fuckwads has she been with? Christ, she's barely touched me and I'm ready to get on my knees and beg.
"I really don't think that's going to be an issue, Lucy."
"I'm not a virgin but I'm not all that experienced either. I mean, oh you kn
ow what I mean."
"Again, likely not an issue, not with the chemistry between us."
"But—"
I press my index finger to her lips. I've heard enough. I'm glad she told me but it's all bullshit.
"Why don't we address these issues one at a time?"
She nods.
I step back and sit on the bench at the foot of my bed and start unlacing my boots. I toe them off and take off my socks, taking some time to get past the fact that whoever was blessed enough to make love with this woman didn't treat her right. That, right there, pisses me off. No matter what, a woman deserves to hear she was a good lay. Even I give them that much.
I walk up to her, standing behind her and begin unzipping her dress, knowing what she's got on beneath is going to bring me to my knees. When the zipper is lowered all the way, I don't push the dress off her shoulders. Instead, I walk around the front of her, cross my arms and when she looks up at me from beneath her long, dark lashes, I say one word: "Shrug."
She does and the dress falls. I was right.
"Holy fuck." I step up and trace a finger along her collarbone. "Lucy."
"Huh?"
I dip my finger down into the cup of her bra, rubbing against her nipple.
"It's a crime for you to hide this body." That is the absolute truth. She's perfect.
I lean down, giving her soft kisses, just a press of my lips to hers, lingering when my hands cup her tits and squeeze. A perfect handful.
"Your belly button is pierced."
"Uh-huh."
"I thought it was part of the costume for the shoot."
"Nope."
"Fuck, that's sexy."
"I'm kind of disappointed you took your lip ring out."
I grin. "I didn't want to wear it on our date. Had I known it turned you on…"
I trail off and just stare at her. There's only one way to get her past her insecurities and that's for her to shut her mind off. We're going to go with the rip-each-other’s-clothes-off-fuck-against-the-wall sex. It's hot and sexy and she'll let go.
"Know what?"
"Hmm?"
"I think we're going to go with your earlier suggestion."
"Really?" she squeaks.
I nod. When she nods her agreement, I waste no time. I press my mouth to hers, tongues tangling, hands everywhere. I unhook her bra as she lifts my shirt. I pull the shirt off and toss it across the room where it lands next to her bra.
She unbuckles my belt and I slide my hand between her legs. I rub a finger against her hard little clit and she moans. She unbuttons my pants, then unzips them and I back her up against the wall.
"I want to leave your garters on this time," I growl in her ear, want and need for her taking over as I reach down and tear her panties off.
She pushes my pants and boxer briefs down and I kick them off. Her mind has shut down to everything but want, need, and desire… just as mine has.
I lean down and pull a condom out of my wallet. When I stand up, her eyes widen. I've got a big cock, I know it and it can be intimidating, but I'd never hurt her.
She backs up, retreating, only to come up against the wall. I grin and roll the condom on.
"It'll fit and we'll go slow until you get used to me."
"I’m not so sure…"
"Trust me, Luce."
She nods, eyes wide but full of desire. I slip my hands under her thighs, lifting her up, and she wraps her legs around my waist, her arms around my neck, and she presses her mouth to mine. Hell fucking yeah.
I slip a finger down between her thighs, gliding down her slit to her pussy. She's soaking wet. She's perfect.
"You're so tight, Lucy," I tell her, sliding my finger inside her. "Let's get you ready."
She moans when I begin thrusting my fingers in and out of her pussy, slow and deep. God damn, she's perfect.
I press kisses to her neck and she wiggles her tight little ass.
"Jesse."
"Not yet," I whisper against her neck, licking and sucking my way around to the other side. I work my fingers in and out of her, faster and harder, and she starts moving against my hand.
"There you go, Lucy. Take what you need. I want to feel you come all over my fingers." I start to circle her clit with my thumb and I know she's close when her body begins to shake.
"Oh God, Jesse."
"You're so close. I can feel it. Let go."
I nearly come without her even touching me when she throws her head back against the wall and gets down and dirty fucking my hand. I press my thumb harder against her clit, wanting her to come, and she moans for me.
"Yes, just like that…" she moans out.
I chuckle, loving this, watching her let go. "You're so fucking sexy."
She moans again when I circle her clit harder, knowing she's right there.
"Come for me, Lucy. Come for me so I can slide inside you."
Her body shakes and she cries out, "Jesse!"
"There we are, give me all of it. Jesus, I can't wait to feel that around my cock." I finger her pussy and clit until she stops moving, then I rub the tip of my cock against her clit, causing her entire body to jerk. Mmm. She's so damn responsive.
"I could get you to come again just from this but I want to feel you squeezing my cock when you do."
I position my dick at her opening and meet her gaze.
"Slow."
She nods, eyes wide.
When just the head slips inside, she gasps.
"Okay?" I ask, watching closely, making sure she doesn't get hurt.
"Mmm, it just feels good."
I smile. "Good. A little more." I push forward and let her slide down at the same time, slowly, inch by inch her hot, tight, wet pussy grips my cock. Oh Christ, I could come right now, but I want to feel all of her. Everything.
"Jesus, Jesse."
"You okay?"
"Mmm, yeah, you're so huge."
I snicker. "I told you you'd say that."
She moans when I slip in further, nearly fully inside. "Mmm, yes you did."
"Almost there, can you take more?"
She nods. "I just need a second."
She's so damn tight, so incredibly tight. I pause, kissing below her ear, flicking my tongue against her lobe.
I look at her.
"I'm not hurting you?"
She shakes her head no.
"I want to feel all of you, I need more, Jesse."
Oh sweet Christ. She's going to kill me.
"You've got a greedy pussy, baby," I tell her, pushing into her quickly until my balls press against her ass. "Fuck, Lucy. You feel incredible."
"Unh," is all she says and I chuckle.
She clenches her pussy tight around my dick and I groan, closing my eyes and gritting my teeth. "Fuck, if you do that I'm going to lose control."
She threads her fingers through my hair and looks into my eyes. "Do it."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Only the best kind of hurt. Move Jesse," she tells me. I can only stare, afraid I'm going to hurt her. "For fuck's sake Jesse, fuck me already."
She laid down a challenge. Game on.
"You want me to fuck you? Hang on, baby."
I smash my lips against hers and my tongue aggressively duels with hers. I pull out and slam back in. When she doesn't protest, I start moving at a steady pace, enjoying the feel of her body accepting mine.
"Oh my God, Jesse."
"Harder?"
"Yes. Faster," she says and tilts her hips. I slip in deeper and I let out a groan. She cries out in pleasure and I lose it. I thrust faster and harder, feeling her pussy start to convulse around my cock. Then she reaches up and grabs hold of my shoulders, raising and lowering herself, meeting my thrusts.
Her nipples harden further and I'm gonna come soon. I feel it and son of a bitch.
"Lucy," I moan. "Watching your tits bounce, your head thrown back, while you ride my cock is the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen."
She moans. "I'm
going to come."
"Come for me, Lucy. I want to feel that incredible pussy squeeze my cock."
I need to feel it.
"Look at me," I demand, wanting her to know it's me who's fucking her, needing her to know it's me who's making her come.
When she finally comes, she comes hard, so damn hard. She squeezes my cock so tight and I'm right there. I hammer into her faster and harder, feeling the burn of my orgasm in my balls, digging my fingers into her ass. I don't look away from her as I start to come hard and hot, thrusting and coming, grunting with each spurt of cum from my cock. She keeps moving her hips, milking everything from me I've got to give and when I'm done, I'm not sure what the fuck just happened. I have never watched someone come like that and never let anyone watch me. It's so much more than I imagined it'd be—that intimacy. We had a connection before, but now…
I press my head into her neck and just rest there, trying to rationalize what happened, trying to find a way to process what just happened and what I'm feeling.
I lift my head and meet her gaze.
"I'm going to be honest with you, Lucy."
She nods.
"You were worried about your body, about you not being hot enough or sexy enough. You've got the sexiest curves I've ever fucking seen, Lucy. That's no lie. I knew you were hot but under the clothes…" I shake my head, knowing I'm not doing this right, but not knowing how to say what I need to say.
I reach up and cup her face in my hands. "You were worried, feeling inadequate?"
She nods.
I blow out a breath, close my eyes, and press my lips to hers for a lingering kiss. I stand up fully, walking backwards. I set her down on the bed, slip off the condom, and toss it in the trash. I turn on the bedside lamp, needing to see her face.
I pull back the blankets, lift my tiny Cupcake into my arms, then place her on the bed, her head resting on my pillow. I love her head on my pillows. I stay between her legs, my chest resting atop hers, my weight propped on my elbows. All I can do is stare at her. This woman who has made my heart beat. Now I know it's been dead until this moment, until Lucy.
When she reaches up to tuck my hair behind my ears, I give her a soft smile.
"What?" she asks.
"I don't have words."
She frowns.