"Twenty-three."
"How did I know that you kept count? Seriously twenty-three?"
"Mhmm."
"My vag is never going to be the same."
"Nope. You'll always remember these last four days."
I know she's thinking and I should stop her, but she keeps running her fingers through my hair and I'm so fucking relaxed. Mmm, I love being with her, feeling her hands on me.
I must have dozed off because Lucy's shaking my shoulder gently, waking me up.
"Jesse."
"Hmm."
"I need to use the restroom."
I hear the panic in her voice. I know what she's doing. She's pushing me back, trying to avoid the closeness and connection we made this weekend.
She comes back out of the bathroom and calls Max. I just watch her as she does, hating that she's leaving… and that she's leaving this way.
I stand up and walk over to her.
"I'm going to take a quick shower, if that's okay?"
"Of course." It's going to be with me. I'm not letting her go without a fight.
She turns the water on and steps under the spray. I step in behind her and close the door. The uncertainty in her eyes is killing me but I'm not sure what to say.
I grab the body wash and work up a lather, motioning her forward. I wash her body, every inch of her body, thoroughly and tenderly.
She washes mine in return, her tiny hands running over my body, touching not only me on the outside, but also on the inside.
While we're in the shower not one word is muttered, yet each time our eyes meet there's so much being said.
I don't want you to go.
I have to.
I wasn't expecting this.
Neither was I.
Lucy.
Jesse.
I step under the spray and she steps out of the shower to dry off. She stands in front of the mirror wrapped in a towel. I watch as she quietly walks into the bedroom and I follow close behind.
I slip on my boxer briefs then pick up her pale pink panties, holding them out for her to step into. I pull them up her legs and over her hips. Then I stand up to slide her arms through her bra straps, positioning the cups, then hooking it in back. I straighten the straps and adjust her tits. Damn she's got one fine fucking rack.
"Your underwear is so hot. Do you always wear that? The lacy and sexy shit?"
"Mhmm."
"Damn. I'm going to be picturing that every time I see you on TV or in a magazine." And I'm going to get hard remembering what it was like taking them off and putting them back on her sensational body.
She steps into her shorts as I hold them, then I slide them up, my fingers running along her thighs as I do. The woman has some damn fine legs. I hesitate, not wanting to put the last piece of clothing on her, but she's watching me.
I pull her top over her head, pushing her arms through the holes before tugging it straight. When I look up, my gaze locks onto hers and I get an ache in my chest. Her eyes get glassy and her lip trembles but she fights it. Her nose twitches and I smirk.
"Itch?" I ask, itching her nose. I want to take care of her and she wants to leave. I wish I could make her stay.
Fuck.
"I should go, Jesse."
I nod. "I know you have things to do before tomorrow."
She closes her eyes and I know she's gathering her calm. I'm doing the same.
"I do," she says, slipping her sandals on. I watch her, just watch, until I can't stand it anymore. Then I pull her into my arms and hold her close, breathing her in, memorizing the feel of her in my arms. No one will ever feel like this again.
"Lucy," I whisper, pressing kisses over her forehead, cheek, jaw, chin, and finally her lips. Just a touch of my lips to hers before pulling back, holding her chin in my hand, staring into those beautiful brown eyes. There's no hiding the sheen of tears in her eyes now and never before did I know what that felt like, to want to cry over the loss of someone's presence—until now.
"Jesse," she breathes. "Thank you for this weekend."
I just nod. She stands on tiptoe and kisses me softly, her tiny hands framing my face. When she pulls back, I want to protest, to pull her back to me and kiss her again.
I stand frozen as she grabs her suitcase and pulls out the handle. A tear rolls down her cheek and she quickly wipes it away. That one tear speaks volumes. She rushes to the door, punching in the code. Before she walks through, she looks back.
I stare at this beautiful woman who's made me feel like more than just Jesse Kingston, lead singer of Falling Down. She's made me feel.
She forces a smile and another tear rolls down her cheek. "Bye Jesse."
"Lucy," I say, taking a step forward. "This is 'see you later'."
She shakes her head and gasps, her face crumpling as she lets the tears fall. She quickly turns and rushes down the stairs to the front door where Max is waiting.
All I can do is watch as she presses a kiss to her fingers and blows it to me as the car lurches forward, taking her from me.
No. No. This isn't goodbye.
Jesse: You saying goodbye doesn't work for me.
Lucy: What?
Jesse: Your goodbye isn't accepted and that means we're not done. I'll see you soon, Lucy. This is far from over.
She's mine and I'm not letting her go.
Chapter Ninetten
Jesse
Past
"I need to pick up some more clothes and shoes," Lucy tells Max after a long day at the studio and house hunting.
"Me too," Sera adds.
Lucy sits up higher in the seat, looking out the window. "Frank, any press hanging out at the house?"
"There were only one or two yesterday but I didn't see any at all today."
"Well, we're about to find out," Sera says as we turn the corner.
Jace whistles. "Nice digs, Luce."
She shrugs. "Thanks. Too bad we can't stay."
"There's no one here."
"Right now. But the minute they find out I'm here, they'll show up. It's how they roll."
"And to think, you and Jesse hadn't even fucked yet."
"I know, right? Kind of a shitty deal there. All right, let's go in so I can get my stuffs."
"Stuffs?" I ask.
Sera pats my arm. "When it comes to clothes and shoes, Lucy goes into her 'stuffs' zone."
I raise a brow. I can only imagine what she's talking about.
"I'm going to go up and pack," Lucy announces and heads up the white-carpeted stairs. I follow behind.
"Need help?" I ask from the doorway as she sets her suitcase on the bed.
"Hmm, maybe."
I hand her a diet soda. "Figured you'd be thirsty."
"Figured that out, did ya."
"Mhmm. You were singing and it's hot and dry out today. Plus you were singing under your breath all day. Makes for a dry throat."
"Seriously dry. I just always sing. I never notice I'm doing it." She takes a long drink then walks into her closet. She comes back out with a load of clothes and sets them on the bed and starts folding and packing them.
What if she didn't have to stay in the hotel? I take a seat on her bed, leaning forward, resting my elbows on my knees. What if—
"What's going on, Jesse?"
I take a long drink of soda, then mess with the label as I try to work up how to approach this with her.
"I was thinking…"
"Oh, don't do that, Jesse. That'll be painful," Sera says with a laugh as she walks in and flops on Lucy’s bed.
Jace and Ben follow, but stand near the door with their beers.
"Need help?" Sera asks.
"Shoes," Lucy tells her.
"On it."
"What were you thinking, Jesse?" she asks as she follows Sera into the closet.
I'm about to tell her my plan when her phone rings.
"What's up, Max?"
"There's press all over the fuckin' place, Luce. We better get a move on," I overhear Max t
ell her.
She blows out a breath. "Okay. We'll hurry."
"Press?" Sera asks.
"Yeah. Lots from what Max said."
I nod and stand up, leaning against the wall, arms crossed—that is, until she motions for me to hold out my arms. She puts some clothes over my arms. Damn this woman has the clothes.
"For just a second," she mutters.
"No problem."
We all head into the bedroom where Jace and Ben are talking with Frank.
"Fuck, Frank," Lucy curses.
"Yeah."
"Okay, what were we talking about? Oh, Jesse. What were you thinking about?"
I place her clothes on her bed and she starts folding them. Fuck. What if she says no? Then I'm going to feel like an asshole. I run a hand over my face.
"You know if you stay at the hotel, they're going to find you eventually. The staff doesn't get paid enough to keep those kinds of secrets and they all know that the paps pay well."
"They kept it quiet so far," she replies.
"Something's going on for them to pop up out of the blue," Sera says to Lucy. "You can't expect them to stay quiet if it's more than just a you-and-Jesse thing."
"That's true and that sucks. I don't want to drive all the way from Santa Monica every day."
"They already showed up there today," Jace reminds her.
"That's true, too. This is such bullshit."
I nod. "I agree. Which is why I was thinking you all should stay with us."
"What?!" she practically shouts.
I shrug, when inside I feel like I could throw up. If she says no...
"It's a good idea," Ben says. "We've got plenty of room and if Trace and Megan decide they want to hang out, we've got room for them too, as well as Frank and Max or whoever is with you for the day."
"Yeah, sounds good," Jace says.
Lucy sighs and looks at Sera. "I have to agree with them, Luce."
"Of course."
"I don't get it, Lucy," I say. "You just stayed with me for the weekend. It's not a big deal to stay until things die down."
"It is a big deal," she whispers, continuing to fold clothes.
"Luce," I mutter.
"It's a big deal to her, Jesse, because Lucy doesn't fuck around. Lucy is a relationship kind of girl because she wears her heart on her sleeve and, from what I've seen, with some time she'll be in real danger of losing her heart to you," Sera tells me.
"She's not the only one in danger of that," Ben says.
Lucy's gaze zeroes in on Ben's as she packs more clothes into the suitcase.
"What do you mean?" Sera asks.
Ben looks at me for a brief few seconds and he knows he's got my go ahead. He looks back to Lucy and Sera. "Well, Jesse doesn't fuck good girls. Jesse doesn't have ladies stay in his room. Ever."
"He had Lucy in there."
Ben nods. "A good girl, right? Think about that. Another thing. He never gives out his code to his room or to the house for that matter."
Lucy stands up straight and tilts her head to the side as Ben continues laying my shit bare.
I shift uncomfortably.
"Jesse doesn't do sleepovers. Ever."
"And he had Lucy there for more than a weekend," Sera says, looking past Lucy and right at me, seeing more than I'm comfortable with.
Ben nods. "So, as I said, she's not the only one at risk. Plus, you can use our studio so you don't have to leave the house if you don't want to deal with the shit outside the gates."
Lucy looks down, then slowly turns to me, her gaze meeting mine.
I've never been so vulnerable in my life and I sure as fuck don’t like how it feels. We just stare at one another and I don't know what she's thinking, but finally she asks, "Really?"
"Really."
"Wow."
"Yeah."
She blows out a breath and I smirk, knowing she's as afraid to take this step as I am—and not because we don't want to, but because we're both fearing rejection.
"How—"
I shrug.
"But you don't—"
"I don't."
"So?"
I shrug again.
She nods and I nod back.
"Don't break my heart, Jesse Kingston."
"Don't break my heart, Luciana Russo."
"You should pinky swear," Sera says.
"What are we twelve?" Jace asks with a laugh.
"Fuck off, it'd be romantic."
As stupid and immature as it sounds, it also sounds like a good idea. I hold up my pinky and she hooks hers to mine. I pull her to me and wrap both arms around her, holding her tightly.
"This is scary, Jesse."
"No shit."
"All this from a weekend?"
"Nah, not just a weekend." She knows it as well as I do.
She pulls back and steps on her tiptoes to press a kiss to my lips.
"Okay."
"Okay," I agree, resting my forehead against hers for a second. Thank God. One step closer to her being mine forever. I'm not sure when I started thinking in terms of forever, but I am… it's always going to be her.
When we get back to the house, she starts unpacking and as we discuss our pasts and relationships, I think I should be honest with her.
"No other girl has ever been in this room?"
I shake my head. "Besides my mom and sisters, no."
"Wow. I wouldn't have guessed that."
"I'm going to be blunt, okay?"
She nods.
"The sl—women who came to parties here at the house, they knew it was just for a good time and we all knew they were using us for whatever purpose they had. In the beginning I didn't care, but when they started taking pictures and trying to make it more than it was, it got old real quick. I didn't want those-"
"Sluts."
I nod again. "Sluts in my private space."
"Good to know you don't think of me like that."
"Luce. You're nothing like that. Not even your bad girl."
"Should I be insulted?"
"No. You're not slutty or skanky. You're sweet and kind and classy and seriously wild between the sheets."
She laughs. "I've never been accused of being wild between the sheets before."
"Wrong partners."
"Definitely."
"So, we're doing this."
She nods. "I guess we are."
Thank Christ. I know she's thinking about everything going on between us, when what I'm feeling is happy and relieved.
"Jesse?"
"Hmm?"
"Did you feel this way when I left Sunday?"
I nod.
"Is that why you were so quiet?"
I nod again.
She sighs. "You should have said something."
I wish I had. I wish it was that easy for me. "I should have, but I couldn't risk you not feeling the same or not being ready for something more. I didn't want to ruin the perfect weekend we had."
"I have a request."
"Okay."
"From now on, no matter the consequences, if we have something important we want or need to talk about, we just do it. Get it out there. Knowing we've made this deal will allow for understanding on both our parts."
"I think that's a great idea. What are you thinking right now?"
She smiles and shakes her head. "I can't believe this. You're you and I'm in your room for the unforeseeable future. I think someone's drugged you or something because this can't be real."
"It's real. We're real," I say seriously. This is more real than anything else has ever been in my life.
She nods.
"We'll handle the press, get it out there that Blush is alive and kicking, introduce everyone, and I'll stand next to you holding your hand the entire time. And when you're done talking about Blush, I'll pull you close, just like this," I say as I pull her closer, looking down at her. "And I'll dip my head like this," I whisper against her lips. "Then I'll lift you up like this so no one misses the camera shot, you can w
rap your legs around me just like that, and I'll kiss you just like this."
The kiss starts off with soft lips brushing against one another, then mouths opening and tongues coming together.
Her fingers thread through my hair and I squeeze her ass. She moans when I dip a finger between her legs and run it up along the seam of her jeans.
"Mmm," I say, pulling back. "Well, maybe I won't kiss you just like that."
She laughs and pulls me back in for a kiss as I carry her to our bed.
I pull back, looking her straight in the eyes.
"Jesse Kingston's falling down…" I sing to the tune of London Bridge.
"Lucy Russo's falling down with a blush," she sings back.
We both smile, then get wild between the sheets.
Chapter Twenty
Jesse
Past
As Lucy walks off the stage at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas, I pick her up and swing her around. "That fucking rocked."
"Hell yeah," Xander says and fist bumps us all.
"I've got to say, I'm looking forward to the larger venues now. That was so much fun," Lucy says, her excitement palpable.
I nod. "You say that now, but the minute you set foot in the venue or do sound check, you're going to want to puke. Once you go on for real, you'll calm down fast just like tonight."
She nods. "We really did okay?"
"Jesus, Lucy," Cage says. "If you did any better, they'd have had a riot in here."
"I'd hug you, but I don't want to get your pretty suit full of my sweat," she tells him.
"To hell with the suit," he says, and pulls her in for a hug. "You do me proud," he whispers in her ear. She does me proud too.
"You can't know what that means to me," she tells him.
"I do know. You deserve this. Two weeks until the tour. Practices and PR every day until then, except for tomorrow due to travel," he tells us all. We nod our agreement.
"All right, boys and girls," Xander shouts. "Let's go party!"
Lucy laughs. "Shower then party."
We walk down the strip, drinking, gambling, and being outrageously obnoxious. Amazingly, me and the guys only get recognized a couple times.
We're all so hammered, stumbling around laughing. Around two in the morning Lucy gets the brilliant idea to scour the entire city of Las Vegas to find the real Elvis, because everybody knows Elvis isn't dead. When Xander jumps on the bandwagon, there's no stopping them.