“Why did you bring them here?” Vince’s father asked.
“I agreed to hold them for him.” Anita said firmly. “He didn’t want them around Lorenzo.”
Lorenzo frowned, but Vince squeezed his arm.
Anita turned to her father, holding her wrist. “We can work something out, Dad, please.” Her dad shook his head adamantly but did stare at her wrist. For all anyone of them knew it could be broken.
“Chavez,” Vince’s dad addressed Anita’s now. “I’m asking you man to man to please work something out without getting the law involved. I don’t want my son’s life ruined. He’s only eighteen. I’m sure there’s something we can agree on.”
Anita’s dad held his jaw, his face still a bloody mess, but even that didn’t satisfy Vince. He deserved to be beaten even more.
“My insurance is not gonna cover all this. You’ll be paying for anything I have to come up with out of pocket.” His face screwed up when he touched his nose.
“You got it. I’ll get you money,” Vince’s dad said too quickly—too desperately.
Vince nearly growled at how Anita’s dad’s eyes seem to flicker at that. “But to overlook the fact that your boy came into my daughter’s room with drugs—brought drugs around my little boys is gonna be hefty.”
Vince scoffed. This guy was now going to act like he cared about any of his kids. “The only thing you cared about when you saw the drugs was—”
“Enough Vincent!” His dad raised his voice. “Go outside.”
“Dad—”
“Outside!” his dad yelled now, “both of you.”
Vince took a deep breath, glancing back one last time at Anita. Once again without saying a single word, her eyes said it all. She was begging him to not say anything about the physical abuse.
Once out on the fire escape Lorenzo started in on him. “Really? You didn’t want the drugs around me, but it was okay to bring them around her little brothers? You know how bad that makes you look? I’m not letting you go down like this, Vince.”
“You’re not saying a word. I don’t want mom and pop knowing I knew about this and was planning on fixing it on my own. I’m already in deep shit as it is. What difference does it make now if they know it was you doing it or me?” He glanced into the room to make sure his dad wasn’t within hearing distance. “And not a word about her dad hitting her, okay? I don’t care what happens.”
“Why not?” Lorenzo looked at him exasperated. “Can’t we at least threaten him with that, so he won’t keep threatening to call the cops on you?”
“No, if dad knows, that’s exactly what he’ll wanna do. She’s this close to getting out of there without child protective services plucking those kids from under her. If that happens there’ll be all kinds of red tape to get past to try and get them back even once she turns eighteen, not to mention him fighting her for them just to be an asshole—or for money. You saw his eyes light up in there when the subject turned to money.”
He shut up when he saw his dad’s head come out the window. “I’m going out through the front. Go back to the apartment. I’ll meet you there.”
“What’s gonna happen?” Lorenzo asked.
“I don’t know yet.” His father frowned, and then those deeply disappointed eyes locked on Vince. “I have to call your uncle.”
And just like that on top of it all, Vincent felt sick to his stomach. That was one of the things he knew his dad had to be most relieved about. The fact that it had been a while since he’d been forced to report any more bad news to his family about his trouble-making son. Everyone in La Jolla had been so proud of the change Vince had made. Even more troubling, Rose would be furious. More than furious, she’d be devastated.
Following Lorenzo back up to their room, he wondered if he should call Rose and explain before it got back to her, but then Lorenzo hit him with another bombshell.
“I need to get the stuff back to Cruz, Vince, or I’ll owe him for it. There was close to a grand worth of stuff in there.”
Vince stared at him, his mind suddenly going back to the dime bags thrown across Anita’s bedroom floor. He knew the drill. Once you had possession of the drugs, it was on you to get the money for it or return the drugs intact. No if ands or buts. If Lorenzo didn’t deliver the loot or bring back the stash, they were coming after him.
“We’ll get it back. I’ll talk to—”
The bedroom door flew open, and Vince’s dad charged at Vince slamming him against the wall.
“Is this what you want? To be a low–life, drug-dealing gangster your whole life! Is this what your mother and I have worked so hard for?” Snatching the phone out of Vincent’s hand, his dad threw it against the wall, and Vince watched it smash into pieces. Stunned, he stared at his dad whose face was inches from his now. “I will not let you throw your life away. You hear me? Do you hear me!”
“Dad!” Lorenzo placed his hand on his dad’s shoulder trying to calm him.
“Shut up, Enzo!” Both Vince and his dad spoke at the exact same time.
His dad turned back to Vince. “Your mother is in the other room crying right now. She doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve this!”
“Dad I know. I’m sor—”
“Shut up! I don’t wanna hear it!” Vince had never seen his dad so angry, not even with all the other shit he’d done in the past. “Your uncle and cousin are on their way now to help you out of this mess. I’ll probably end up owing them a lot of money. That asshole next door wants cash and more.”
“More?” Vince’s blood began to boil again. “What else does he want?”
“You beat his ass, Vincent...in front of his kids. They saw what a fucking coward he really is. He’s humiliated.”
“Good! He deserves it!”
Vince’s dad loosened the death grip he had on Vince’s shirt, dropping it in defeat. “Yeah, well now he wants you to pay.”
Vince didn’t understand. “Pay? How?”
“He wants you punished, but mostly I think he wants you gone—away from here—where he won’t have to worry about you coming to Anita’s rescue anymore during one of their family squabbles. We all know what goes on over there and how often. It’s not gonna stop, and he doesn’t want you interfering.”
Squabbles? Is that what his dad really thought went on over there? Vince gritted his teeth. “So tell him I won’t anymore.”
“He saw you today, Vincent. We all did. Hell even you don’t believe that for a minute, do you?”
Locking his jaw, Vince looked away from his dad at Lorenzo. His brother wasn’t buying it either. After getting a taste of what it felt like to beat the shit out of that animal, there’d be no holding him back if he ever heard him beating on Anita again.
Standing up close to his face again, his dad spoke firmly. “You will do whatever it takes to get you out of this without police involvement. You hear me? I will not let this ruin your life. You are better than this, son. You may not believe it, but I do.”
His dad turned and began walking toward the bedroom door. Lorenzo’s eyes pleaded. Vince knew he wanted to come clean—tell his dad it was his shit that caused all this not Vince’s, but Vince shook his head.
“Dad,” Vince said before his father walked out of the room, “I do believe it. And I will do whatever it takes. I’m sorry.”
His dad nodded, but it was as clear as the blood on Vince’s knuckles he’d disappointed his father once again: this time maybe beyond repair.
Now…
As the anger overwhelmed Vince, drowning out even the excruciating pain of his arm, just like all the other times he’d replayed that night in his head, he came to the same conclusion he always did. If he had to do all again, it would always play out the very same way. There’d be no way, not even now that he knew what the outcome would be, that he’d be able to hold back from attacking that animal the way he had and no way he wouldn’t take the fall for his brother. No matter how much he wanted to regret the events that led him to where he ended up
now, he couldn’t. The only thing he regretted now and would forever was losing Rose in the process.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Rose
For the second time that week Ben had to meet Rose at work for her injection. Because he had basketball practice in the evenings unless he did it during the day, he wouldn’t have time to come by her place. And for the second time that week Lorenzo had been a witness to their sitting in her car as they talked afterwards. It was such a simple thing for Ben. He did it right there in the car—injected her in the thigh like nothing.
He kept telling her how easy it was, but she still couldn’t even bring herself to watch while he did it. She was, however, well aware that if this was something she’d be doing for the rest of her life, she was going to have to drudge up the nerve somehow to learn to do it herself. Ben wouldn’t be around forever.
Maybe once Grace was no longer pregnant and Rose could talk to her about it, Grace could do it for her. In the meantime Ben was more than willing but only when he had the time. So she had no choice but to work something out around his schedule.
She walked him to his car and kissed him on the cheek again. Waiting until he’d driven off, she started toward the back door of the restaurant. Only then did she notice Lorenzo was standing there watching her. Already feeling tense as she approached him, she wondered how long he’d been standing there.
“I’m assuming you do a lot more for him in that car than you do outside of it.” His expression was somewhere between smirking and disgust; she couldn’t tell which.
Rose swallowed hard. She had to remember just how close Lorenzo paid attention to details. “Nope, I’m just not one for public displays of affection.” She shrugged. “I’m shy that way.”
“Shy my ass.” He chuckled. “I seem to recall you not having a problem sucking face with my brother quite a few times when I was around the two of you.”
Feeling her face instantly warm, Rose focused on staying composed. “Yeah, well we never did in front of Sal and Grace. I won’t with Ben either, so the parking lot of their restaurant is off limits to any sucking face.”
Lorenzo smirked, and if she didn’t know any better he might even be on to her. He certainly took notes of everything he heard and saw. “Is this your lunch or were you just on a break?”
“I’m off actually,” Rose said glad for the change in subject.
“Good, I wanted to talk to you.”
Suddenly wishing she’d said she was on a break, Rose thought fast to try and get out of it. “I don’t have a lot of time. I—”
“I don’t need a lot of time. There’s just a couple of things I’ve been wanting to say to you for a long time.”
Rose stared at him, almost afraid to hear what he had to say. She couldn’t take any more heartache involving Vincent.
“I wanna apologize.”
This was not what she was expecting to hear. “Apologize?”
“Please let me finish,” he said, the mysterious smirk now replaced with a somber stare. “I know Vince explained everything, and obviously it didn’t make a difference to you, but I need you to know how sorry I am. It was entirely my fault Vince had to go away.”
“What?” Rose was missing something here, but the feeling of dread slowly crept in.
“I know you must think Vince chose me or Anita over you, but if you knew how Vince thinks, you’d know for him there was never a choice to be made. To him it was a given.”
Rose stared at him. “What are you talking about?” The dread was an all-out panic now. Had she made the terrible mistake this was beginning to sound like? “Your fault?”
“Yeah, I’m the one who was doing the dealing, not him. But he didn’t choose to take the blame and leave you. He had to. Obviously that makes no difference to you.”
“Wait.” She lifted her hand shaking her head. “Back up,” she brought her hand to her chest as she made sense of his words. “I never read his letters.”
“What? You didn’t?” The somber stare was gone. He looked disgusted again. “None of them? He wrote you all the time.”
“I read the first few, but he never told me any of this. He never explained anything. Just said he was sorry but offered no explanation at all.”
“That’s because he couldn’t tell you, but he did later. You didn’t read those?”
She shook her head a mixture of relief and sorrow overcoming her. Standing frozen in place as Lorenzo explained to her about Anita and her father and how Vince didn’t want to ruin her chances of getting custody of her brothers, the air in her lungs began to drain. He explained why it was so important to him that she and her brothers got out of that hell, so he couldn’t say anything until she was all settled.
“But he did write and explained it all about six months ago.”
“I never read it.” Her heart felt like it was being squeezed. “After the first few I couldn’t. It was too painful.”
Lorenzo’s eyes were as wide as hers felt. “So all this time—”
“I thought he’d gone back to dealing,” Rose felt a weight lift as another pushed it back onto her conscience, and once again she was choked up. “I thought maybe he’d been doing it the whole time.”
Lorenzo stared at her, the incredulous expression on his face making her feel that much worse. “But now you know he wasn’t.” He touched her arm. “Are you still in love with him?”
She nodded, feeling the tears already begin to fill her eyes. Could it really be true? Vincent had really stayed true to his word? She’d had it all wrong this whole time?
“You have to tell him?” Lorenzo urged.
Finally snapping out of her daze her eyes were on Lorenzo. “What? How?”
“Write him. He was devastated when I told him, Rose.” His eyes looked up behind her into the empty parking lot. “When I told him you had a boyfriend. You’re not gonna stay with this guy now, are you?”
She shook her head. “I was never really with him to begin with.”
Lorenzo’s face suddenly soured. “What? You don’t have to lie—”
“No, I’m not lying. I was lying when I said I was with him.”
Lorenzo’s face was still contorted, and he rolled his eyes.
“It’s why we don’t kiss, okay?” She felt stupid admitting it, but it was better to admit this now than have Vincent think she’d actually moved on, and with Ben of all people. “Grace was worried about me being depressed, so I made the whole relationship thing with him up. He went along with it because he’s my friend. But I’ve never gotten over Vincent.”
“So this guy comes down here and parks with you every chance he can, and all you two do in there is talk? That’s bullshit.”
“It’s true.” Rose insisted.
“I’ve seen the way the asshole looks at you, Rose.”
“He’s just my friend.” Rose’s mind was racing now; she had to write back to Vincent. She had to tell him she understood now and forgave him completely.
“Are you planning on telling my brother about your friend, Rose? Because I’ll tell you right now he’s not gonna like it. He didn’t like this guy back then, and he sure as hell’s not gonna like knowing he comes down to visit you at work, and you two go out and sit in your car, and do God knows what for as long as you do.”
“I’ll talk to Ben. It’ll stop.”
“I’m here for another week,” Lorenzo’s eyes were menacing, “maybe more. I can talk to Ben for you if you want me to.”
“No,” Rose said firmly. “I’ll talk to him, and I’ll write Vincent tonight.”
Lorenzo seemed somewhat satisfied, but Rose wasn’t. They stood out there while she continued to interrogate him, getting every detail of why exactly Vincent had agreed to leave and all that Lorenzo had told him so far about her and her boyfriend. One small relief was that Lorenzo said Vincent didn’t know it was Ben yet.
“I didn’t see the point in telling him. He was already devastated enough.”
“Please don’t tell him.”
His face soured again. “I swear to you. I’ve never done anything with Ben. We’ve always been just friends. I’ll tell him but when he gets back. I promise. When I get a chance to see him in person, I’ll explain everything. He wouldn’t understand otherwise. I’d have to explain it to him myself.” An incredible feeling of hope and delight began to slowly encompass her. “Is there any other way I can talk to him sooner?”
Lorenzo shook his head frowning. “He’s in Iraq out in the field. The only way is writing a letter. I wrote him one about a week ago, but I haven’t heard anything back yet.”
Once Rose felt satisfied not just that she knew enough but that Lorenzo was through dealing as well, she headed home, skipping her evening classes. She had so much to say to Vincent she’d probably write all night.
“Vincent didn’t do it!” was the first thing she said to Grace as she rushed into the kitchen.
“What?” Grace looked up from where she sat feeding the baby.
“It was Lorenzo, not Vincent. Vincent just covered for him. Oh my God!” Rose clenched her chest smiling. “I don’t care how long I have to wait, Grace. I’ll wait the four years. I’ll wait ten if I have to! I don’t care! I don’t care!” She hugged Grace smacking a kiss loudly on the top of her head. Grace laughed, and Rose knew she couldn’t possibly understand.
“What about Ben?” Grace asked.
“I’ll explain it all later.” Grabbing a pear from the fruit basket on the counter, Rose dug her teeth into it and spun around. “Right now I have a letter to write.”
~*~
A couple of days later still walking on air, Rose answered her phone just as she drove in to work her shift at the restaurant. She’d written Vincent a ten-page letter explaining everything she’d gone through in the past year and how she’d made the whole boyfriend thing up to get Grace off her back. She also made sure she told him she loved him over and over again and that she’d wait for him as long as she had to. After the year she had, she knew now without a doubt she’d much rather deal with waiting and know she’d be with him again someday, than attempt to live life without him forever. That she obviously couldn’t deal with.