Cicely—come back to yourself. We need you. Myst cannot win, and if you give in to the woman you were—to the woman who was Myst’s daughter—then you are handing her a victory over you and over all that you love and protect and stand for.
Between the three of them, between the voices of reason who battered me with a continual barrage of support, I wrestled with the Shadow Hunter inside of me. With the Vampiric Fae I once had been. I’d never be fully free of her. My memories were too grounded in the past, and the ritual that Grieve and I had performed had left us inexorably bound to the Indigo Court, but this was a new life, a new day, and I would not let Myst win after all this time.
As I fought my way through the clouds, my vision began to return. I opened my eyes, breathing heavily. But as I was about to reassure them that I was regaining control, a sound from the front of the Barrow startled us.
The cloud creature that had been following us had entered the chamber, and was making directly for me. Without thinking, I threw myself back into the mists, back into the energy of Cherish, and raced behind Kaylin. I knew how to kill it, but I didn’t have the power. As the shadows of the past held sway, I gave in to the tempestuous blood lust that raced just beneath the surface of my heart.
Chapter 15
This creature and I had met before, long ago, in a land far less populated. In fact, I knew this thing from an intimate perspective, given that my mother had created it. Myst had dredged it up from the depths one day, a shadow of one of the Wilding Fae. She had turned it, taken it down to its essence, and out of that void, a life-stealing vampire had been created. Only this vampire fed on energy alone—for the Wilding Fae had been so old, so stretched, that his body simply vanished as my mother fed on him.
I couldn’t remember what his name was, but he’d disappeared from Court one day, shortly after a rash of murders among our people. Myst had promised everyone that she’d killed the creature. He was too wayward and unable to be controlled. But in reality, she’d simply chased him into the forests.
Over the years, he became a legend in the forest, feared by the yummanii who came to live in the area. They’d turned him into a creature sent by the gods, but I knew the truth. He fed upon every sentient life force he could find, but he preferred the Shadow Hunters and the Fae, for our magic was strong and he thrived on magic.
I circled to the left as the memories of my mother’s dark ritual to create him filtered back. She had snared the Wilding Fae in, and against all odds had managed to convince him to let her turn him. She would have stood no chance without his permission. He was dark and toadlike, squat and yet stretched out from the years that had passed through his life. And he’d been thirsty to collect more power, hungry to dance through the forest, eating his fill. He was darker than dark, a match for my mother, and she’d never suspected his plan to double-cross her.
The cloud shifted to the right, but a wave of malign delight rolled off of him. Thirsty he was, and more—he remembered me. And then—another memory crept in. I’d been out dancing through the snow, looking for quarry to hunt, and I’d met a strange little man. I recognized him as one of the Wilding Fae. He’d been watching me, and the leer on his face turned my stomach. I had no use for lovers or mating rituals. Life was all about the hunt for me.
He made it clear what he wanted, and I rebuffed him as he came toward me, cock out, his member huge and glistening with cum under the night sky. I kicked him square in the balls, and he cursed at me. Laughing, I leaned down to spit in his face.
“Little man, you will never have me. Be content with keeping your life. Be content you aren’t the chosen prey of Myst’s daughter, for I would tear you to pieces and suck your bones. I would bleed you out and wear your corpse like a cloak and braid your hair into a rope for my servants.”
“One would think a daughter of a queen would know how to speak to one of the Wilding Fae. One would take offense, if such a girl was smart enough to know when she put herself in danger. But dance away, mayhem’s daughter. There will be meetings to come, and one day a Wilding Fae may have his revenge.” And with that he vanished into the woods.
I laughed, then, thinking nothing of his warning. I had no clue how strong the Wilding Fae were. And later, when he came to the Court and my mother turned him, I thought it was simply an experiment gone wrong. When the sparkling cloud vanished into the forest, I thought no more about it. Only as the legends built up around him did I wonder if I’d ever run into him again. But surely, as a cloud of energy, devoid of form, he’d have forgotten who I was. And that I’d laughed at him after bruising his balls.
Now, facing him down, I realized that he recognized the part of me who had once been Cherish. Fuck. That made everything ever so much better. But with the memories of how he’d come to be, I also had remembered one very important thing. I backed up now, glancing at the others.
“We have to fight him on the astral—on the Dream Time. We can’t win against him in a physical fight. I wish we had some of Luna’s death ghosts with us right now.”
Kaylin pushed his way to the front. “Then I have to go in. I’m the only one who can dreamwalk. My demon can fight him.”
I let out a cry. “No. He’s too dangerous and wily—” but Kaylin shook his head.
“This is why you brought me along. I know it. Cicely.” He took me by the shoulders, ignoring the glares from Check and Fearless. “You have to let me do this. If you don’t, the creature will attack you. There’s only one reason it’s holding back right now.”
I glanced over at the cloud. True enough, it hadn’t attacked, and I wasn’t sure why it was hanging back. “Why do you think that is?”
“Because he can sense what I am—and he knows that I can face him down. He’s waiting to see what our next move is. I’m going in, and you cannot stop me, girl.”
“Then I’m going with you.”
“No.” The word was an order, and he turned to Check. “I won’t allow it. She may be your queen, but she’s not mine. If something were to happen to me, there would be no one to bring her back.”
Check nodded. “Understood.”
And with that he lay down, and a couple of the vampires gathered around him, including Lannan, who was staring at the cloud monster with fascination. As I let out a short cry, Kaylin closed his eyes, and a faint mist began to gather over his body. He was going dreamwalking, taking his body out on the astral. I’d gone with him a couple of times, and each time it had been like journeying through a foreign land.
As we watched, he began to shimmer, and I remembered how it had felt, like becoming a river of silver, molten and fluid, then vanishing into the shadows as one of their own. And then—in a flurry of smoke and mist—Kaylin vanished. I whirled around to see what the cloud was doing, and sure enough, it had moved. It was backing up, and I caught a blur of movement going toward it.
Ulean, can you see them? What’s happening?
Yes, I can feel them on the slipstream. Kaylin—his demon is coming out—
Before she could finish the thought, a dark shadow with large wings dove through the cloud—we could see it clear as day—and there was a loud wail. It was almost more of a sonic screech, barely within hearing range but enough to send all of us to our knees. I pressed my hands to my ears, trying to stifle the noise, but it rang like a sonorous bell, on and on, reverberating in my head.
I heard the sound of scuffling, but when I tried to look up, to see what was happening, all that was visible was a blur of mist, a haze of sparkling energy swirling around the shadow. But they were fighting, that much was apparent. The shadow and the cloud struggled, creating a vortex between them, a tornado of cross-energies. I had a horrible feeling this was all going wrong. Kaylin was in danger and there was nothing any of us could do unless . . .
Ulean, is there any way you can help him?
I’m sorry, Cicely. I can see them clearer than you, but not to help. N
ot to intervene. But I can tell you, that sound is dangerous to you and the others. It can harm you.
At that moment, I realized my nose was bleeding. This was what had killed the people Hunter had seen! I knew it in my core.
“We have to get out of range—the sound, it will kill us!”
Check immediately yanked me to my feet and began barreling out of the chamber toward the outside. The others followed us, as best as they could, and we stumbled into the open, where the sound faded. My head was pounding, and I fell into the snow, gasping with the residual pain. Grieve joined me, holding his own head, and the others did as well.
Hunter knelt beside me. “That’s what killed them. You were right. No wonder we found no signs of violence. They didn’t think to get out of the way in time. Or . . . they couldn’t. My guess is back then, the creature wasn’t distracted by someone attacking it.”
Kaylin! What was happening with Kaylin? I struggled to stand, but my stomach lurched, and I turned to the side, coughing until I spit up a mouthful of diluted blood. My throat felt raw, but my stomach quieted and my thoughts began to clear.
“Its sound . . . It causes internal bleeding. Your friends, your people, they all bled out when it attacked.” I leaned against my grandfather, and he wrapped an arm around me.
Grieve struggled, moving over to sit by us. “Are you all right?”
I nodded, faintly, and looked around. Lannan and his men weren’t anywhere in sight. “Lannan! Is he still inside?”
At that moment, the vampire appeared at the mouth of the Barrow. The look on his face was chilling. I’d never seen Lannan look so shaken.
“It’s over. Cicely, you’d better come see.”
Slowly, not wanting to see whatever it was that had put that expression on his face, I started forward. Check frowned, but Lannan shook his head.
“The creature . . . the cloud . . . It’s gone. I believe Kaylin vanquished it.” And then the Golden Boy turned and walked back into the Barrow, still looking oddly strained and bewildered.
With a nervous glance at Grieve and Hunter, I set out, escorted by Check. The others fell in behind us. As we entered the Barrow, once again the desolation and age hit me, but this time I didn’t feel the inner push from Cherish to reclaim my place here. This time, all my worries and thoughts were with Kaylin. Lannan was standing against a half wall, and he nodded for us to join him.
I glanced around. “Where’s Kaylin? Where did he . . .” But my voice trailed off as someone stepped from behind the wall. Kaylin? Or was it . . . Holy crap. I couldn’t take my eyes off the creature that stood in front of us.
When we’d gone to the home of the Bat People in search of the charm to waken Kaylin’s demon so he wouldn’t slide into a permanent coma, we’d met them. The Bat People were the children of the night-veil demons, a hybrid created by the creatures. The Bat People were shadowy, tall, and gaunt, with skin stretched thin as if over a skeleton and wings resembling those of a bat. They had faceted, bulbous eyes. Though they were called the Bat People, they weren’t shifters. Not like the Cambyra Fae. They lived in the shadows, in the Court of Dreams, where everything flickered in a perpetual state of half light.
Now, the creature that emerged from behind the wall looked like a morphed picture of Kaylin . . . and one of the Bat People. Not as tall as they were, for Kaylin was fairly short, the figure stood there. Wings had emerged from his back, and though the face he wore was Kaylin’s, and his hair was still long and ponytail bound, he had taken on an otherworldly look.
“Kaylin? Is that . . .” I didn’t know how to ask my question. Hell, I didn’t even know what to ask.
But he knew. He laughed, and I realized I’d heard that laughter once before: when I woke up his demon and brought him back to himself. I’d heard the laughter before Kaylin had regained control over himself, before he’d harnessed the night-veil.
“You know who I am, Cicely. You know me.”
“You’re Kaylin’s demon.” No question, just an acknowledgment of facts. I knew I was right, and my heart began to shatter, just a little.
“Yes, I am Kaylin, and I am his demon, but Kaylin is now the one in the background. I don’t know if he exists separate from me now. How can he? I’ve fully emerged.” And then, Kaylin—or his demon—softened, and a faint smile flickered on his lips. “Kaylin would have died unless I took over. Together, we vanquished the cloud creature.”
“Can you . . . Will you let him return now? Kaylin, that is?” Again, I knew the answer and didn’t want to hear it, but I had to know for certain.
“How can I? When I emerged, when we threw ourselves into the fight together, his only chance was to give way to me fully. He now lives in my body, rather than the other way around.” He stepped back. “Kaylin knew that you couldn’t fight the creature. He knew that he was the only one who stood a chance of defeating it.”
Horrified, realizing that we’d just lost Kaylin—that he was gone from us, and probably forever—I sought for something to say. But there were no words there. Thank you wouldn’t suffice. And I’m sorry would only make the night-veil laugh. He wasn’t sorry to be in control of Kaylin’s body.
Hunter stepped forward, his hand on my shoulder. “Demon, tell the girl the truth. She needs to know, for her conscience.”
“What?” I darted a glance at my grandfather. What was he talking about?
But Kaylin-the-demon knew, because he let out another laugh. “All right, Father Owl, I’ll let her off the hook.”
Turning to me, his wings fluttered softly in the dim light as he crossed his arms. “Cicely, this would have happened anyway, eventually. Night-veil demons, when implanted in the soul of one of the magic-born, evolve. After we waken, we metamorphose into our final forms. Kaylin’s transformation just came far sooner than it would have if he hadn’t given over control to me. On a conscious level he didn’t know this would happen, but deep inside? He knew.”
As I continued to stare at him, Kaylin ducked his head. Once again the sly, sweet smile I so keenly recognized broke through, and I caught a glimpse of him peering through the night-veil’s eyes. “I guess it’s a good thing Luna wouldn’t have me after all. I would have broken her heart.” And then he turned toward the entrance of the Barrow.
“Kaylin, where are you going?” My paralysis broken, I took off after him. “Don’t leave. Night-veil or not, you’re our friend.”
Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes. I wanted desperately to do something—to change what was happening. I’d always been a control freak, and not being able to make a difference in a situation like this was terribly painful for me.
Kaylin turned, his wings almost whipping across my face. He stepped closer, and I realized that he’d retreated again, and now it was the night-veil facing me. He reached out and pulled me close.
“You, too, went through a transmutation, Cicely. You are not the same person you were a month ago. Everything changes. Everyone evolves.”
“I know but . . .” There was nothing I could say to that. He was right, of course. I just didn’t want to say good-bye.
“I would thank you for freeing me, but that would only make you feel worse. So I will say this once. Remember it well: There was nothing you could do. You could not fight your opponent, and Kaylin and I . . . we could. Kaylin made the choice. He knew what had to be done. Don’t tarnish his memory with your tears. He chose to help you in this war you fight. Let him claim his victory.”
And then he let go of my shoulders.
“Where will you go?”
“First, I must return to the Court of Dreams. Then . . . I don’t know. I doubt our paths will cross again, but there is never anything certain in this world, so for now, I simply say farewell, Queen Cicely Waters. May you destroy Myst and all her kin, and live happily ever after in your icy realm.” With that he turned and ducked out of the Barrow, and Kaylin Chen was gone from m
y life.
I turned back to the others, feeling bleak and worn. I wanted to cry but felt numb all the way through. And we still had a quest ahead of us. There wasn’t time to mourn someone who hadn’t died. Kaylin was gone, yes, but he still lived, and he had become who he was destined to be.
“Let’s go. We have to find Myst’s heartstone.”
Nobody said a word, but we fell back into our marching order, and I led the way through the Barrow, following the hollow and empty passages by what seemed to be rote memory. I didn’t know where we were going, not really. If you pressed me to tell you how to get there, I wouldn’t be able to give directions. But I knew the way, as sure as I knew my own heartbeat.
“Cicely, Kaylin saved our lives. His demon is right, let him have the victory, and let him claim his sacrifice.” Grieve reached out to take my hand and we walked in silence through the tunnels. Lannan and Hunter were a step behind, and for once, Lannan kept his mouth shut, a taciturn look on his face.
The labyrinth of passages led us deep into the heart of the Barrow. As we neared what felt like should be the center, I realized we were almost to Myst’s old bedroom, the place where I’d seen her heartstone being created. I swallowed my fear and pointed to a set of double doors.
“Through there. Myst’s bedroom, and the place where she vanished with her heartstone. I don’t exactly remember what to look for in order to trigger the secret chamber, but whatever it was, it should still be there.”
And then we were at the door. Check and Fearless went first, opening it. As soon as they gave the all clear, I followed them in, and everything came flooding back.
The room was still beautiful, done in silver and black with brilliant blue accents. The bedcovers had long vanished, as had the upholstery. But the ebony frame of the bed was there, as were the swirling designs on the walls and the other assorted pieces of furniture that had withstood the ravages of time. In the Barrows, though, the years flowed differently, and so it was like stepping into a time capsule where anything might still exist.