“A wide cavern, Your Majesty. Like a field of boulders across a plain of ice. Dark, but illuminated lightly from a glow within the frozen wastes. I could detect no movement, but that doesn’t guarantee there isn’t something in there waiting for us.”
“Oh, you can bet there’s something there. We’ll just have to figure it out when we get there. From what I can tell, there are usually three to five guardians set by the Queens. They get progressively harder to pass the farther you go along. I’m not looking forward to running this gauntlet, but now that we’re over the first hurdle, we’d better get a move on, because the others might figure out we’re here.”
I wanted to add that I knew for sure they would. That, when I’d set up my own guardians, they’d formed a network. If one went down, the others would be alerted. But that would be giving away my own secrets, and I wasn’t comfortable doing so. I was also aware that, by protecting myself, I was putting my friends in jeopardy by not telling them what I knew. Either way, it was a losing situation. But self-preservation won out. I kept my mouth shut.
Finally, I accepted the wisdom of what Lainule had tried to teach me—the Queen must protect her heartstone above all else. The Queen was the heart of the Barrow. It felt both a selfish and conceited thought, but it was true. And sometimes the truth wasn’t politically correct.
“Are we ready, then?” Check gave me an odd look, but when I met his gaze, he simply smiled softly and turned to lead us through the door. Sometimes I had the feeling he could look through my skin and see everything going on beneath the surface.
We entered the cavern and found ourselves on a sheer sheet of ice. Boulders—large blocks of granite that had cleaved off the mountain—littered the enormous chamber. The other side was difficult to make out. In fact, I wasn’t even sure if we could really see it from here. I thought I might be able to make out a distant wall, but the light was too dim, and the chamber too large to know for certain.
The ice had a peculiar sheen to it. Unlike the ice in the realm of Winter, it bore only streaks of blue through it, no pinks or purples. Faint slate streaks that raced along the glassy surface. Pinpricks of light, sparkling like silver stars, shone from within the ice through the pale, hazy film of frost. Was this a giant ocean frozen over? Or simply ice on the ground? Or was it something else entirely, something Myst had managed to conjure from whatever magic her shamans had been able to manifest?
I leaned down and trailed my fingers across the surface. A faint pulse echoed from deep within the frozen waste, sending a tingle through my skin. For a moment it startled me, and I just about pulled away, expecting it to hurt, before realizing it actually was making me smile. There was something familiar about the sensation. And then I understood—it was the ice itself that tickled me.
Perhaps it was different than the ice back in my realm, but the feeling of the frozen water was comforting, and all ice came from the same underlying source. Myst might be an upstart, but she had managed to tap into Winter’s energy, and she did understand its nature.
Which makes her even more dangerous. Ulean, how much do you think she knows about me? I mean, she knows I was her daughter, but how well do you think Myst understands who I am . . . and what I am becoming?
Ulean gently gusted past. I could feel her swirling amid the frosty air. She liked the winter. Even though summer winds might be fun to work with, I knew that Ulean preferred the cold, blustery gales of the dark months.
I think that she knows you better than you might wish for. Myst may be lost in her desire for control, but she does not underestimate her enemies, and like it or not, the two of you have commonalities. Cicely, you may have to try to understand her better, in order to defeat her. Find your similarities and you will find her weakness.
But finding her heartstone and destroying it seems easier.
Never count your storms before they brew. While you may find her heartstone, I have the feeling you will have to face the Queen herself.
And with that to chew on, I stood, surveying the vast chamber. I closed my eyes, searching my intuition. Ulean, can you tell me which way to go?
I will scout around, but I think . . . I think you can figure out which way without me. I’ll return in a moment.
As she swept off, I inhaled, then let out my breath slowly, searching the slipstream, trying to feel my way around. To the right the wasteland of ice continued, and I could sense nothing stirring. To the center? Again, a long uninterrupted stretch. But to the left—to the left, I caught the faintest hint of motion, and then, a hush as whatever it was felt me probing the slipstream.
Did you sense it? Ulean returned.
Yes, to the left. What is it?
I honestly don’t know, but whatever it is, it’s big and lumbering. I can’t give you an estimate, though, because it feels like it phases in and out of this plane. However, I can tell you that it isn’t really an Elemental. Truly? It’s like no creature I’ve ever before seen.
That was so not reassuring. A large, lumbering behemoth that wasn’t an Elemental. Not much to go on with regard to what it was, or how dangerous it might be.
Did you sense any malevolence?
Like the snow weaver? No. I’m sorry I’m so vague, but I’m perplexed. I’ve never encountered this creature before, or anything like it. There is sentience, yes, and intelligence, but it feels distanced.
Maybe it was an animal of some sort. Which would make it harder to kill, at least for me. An animal wouldn’t have any personal motivation against us—it would just be doing what it was summoned to do: protect.
I told the others what we were facing.
“How big is it?”
“Good question. Ulean says large, but she doesn’t seem to be able to pinpoint what it is, or how large it is. Apparently it phases in and out, so it has to be magical to some degree. But there’s no deliberate ill will there. The thing was probably summoned rather than being one of Myst’s creatures.”
Hunter frowned. “That doesn’t give us much to go on, and it doesn’t make for confidence. Let me go up front with the men. I’ve seen many things through my life; perhaps I’ll be able to recognize whatever this is.”
As he moved to the forefront and we continued on, Hunter suddenly turned. “The temperature of the air has just plummeted at least a good twenty to thirty degrees, all within one step. Magical cold coming up. A few more feet and you’ll enter it. This is no natural cooling. No, it’s caused by something, and I have a feeling we’re going to meet up with whatever it is all too soon.”
I steeled myself, and sure enough, another couple of yards and the temperature of the air plunged. If we’d been yummanii or strict magic-born, the sudden drop would have been dangerous, but without Kaylin here, we were all either immune or conditioned to the cold.
My breath appeared in tiny white puffs as I pulled my cloak tighter around my shoulders. The landscape hadn’t changed much, save that we were behind a tall group of boulders. Clusters of them dotted the entire cavern, and this collection happened to stand a good ten to twelve feet high, and higher still the farther we went. It was like a forest of stone.
“Where is this creature?” Hunter had no sooner than asked the question when we broke out of the stone forest and into a clearing. There, ahead, was a wall of snow and ice and an opening leading into yet another cavern. But between us and the dark maw stood a creature that seemed to be wavering in and out of existence—plane-shifting as we watched.
I smiled. How could I help it? The creature reminded me of a cross between an elephant and a mastodon, but it was a vibrant blue, with eyes as silver as the moon. It had a trunk, and a tail, and four great legs on which it stood, and yet the fur on its back was long and wispy, looking so silky I wanted to bury my head in it.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.
“Yes, and deadly,” my grandfather answered.
“You’ve seen thi
s before?”
“A few times. The creature is definitely a plane-shifter, and you’re right—it’s not evil, but it is a summoned guardian and is bound to obey to the death. It’s a paralaxium, and it’s from the plane of Ice, so in a sense it is somewhat like an Elemental, but not at all like Ulean or the Ice Elementals. It’s simply a creature that happens to live there.”
“How is it dangerous?”
“Unfortunately, it can kill you with a touch if you are of living flesh and blood.” He glanced over his shoulder. “They are rare and beautiful beasts.”
As I studied the creature, it studied me back but made no move against us. Most guardians were set to a specific area—cross the boundary line and they would react. There was no telling how close we’d have to get before the paralaxium would charge, and I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to find out.
“How do they kill?” Grieve turned to Hunter.
Hunter shrugged. “A touch will drain the warmth of the body, plunging you into instant hypothermia. And I do mean absolute hypothermia. You’ll go from your normal temperature to zero in ten seconds flat. The body goes into arrest. Even those of us from the realm of Snow and Ice—even you, Cicely, the Queen of Snow and Ice, would die.”
“So, we don’t want to pet the pretty pony.” I let out a long sigh. “How do we kill it? We don’t dare touch it. So, is there a way to banish it back to the plane of Ice? Can we do something to make it disappear?” Even as I suggested it, I knew that was a long shot. None of us had that kind of power. As far as how Myst had managed to get the creature here, I had no clue. If she could reach into the plane of Ice, we had bigger worries on our hands than we knew.
When I looked over at the creature, it met my gaze again. The giant silver eyes were incredibly soft, almost gentle, and I wanted to talk to it—to get to know what it was like. Ulean was right, there was no malevolence here, no hatred. The creature would guard this gate because it had been bound to do so, but not because of any anger toward us or loyalty to Myst. And that knowledge left me furious. I didn’t want to destroy the paralaxium. It was, as Hunter had said, a rare and beautiful giant, deadly but without guile.
“What do we do? I don’t . . .” I paused, turning to my grandfather. “I don’t want to destroy it—I don’t want that on my conscience.” Collateral damage was unavoidable, I knew that. But Myst had put me in a place I hated right now, and I wished she were here so I could unleash all my frustration and anger on her.
“The only way would be to break the binding, or to banish it back to its own plane.” He cocked his head. “I somehow doubt any of the guards have the knowledge of how to do this. And neither does Grieve nor I. Nor, I doubt, the vampire—Lannan.”
“That would leave me. And I . . .” I studied the paralaxium, skirting around the creature, trying to assess how close I could get before setting off its alarms.
Ulean, how do you banish a creature back to its Elemental plane? Do you know? Can you find out?
Cicely, there are ways, but you do not have the knowledge. I might be able to find someone to help you, but who knows what kind of cascade such an action might bring?
Then tell me, is it possible to distract it so we can slip by? Can we outrun it, do you think? I was searching for anything that might allow us to let this creature live. The more I examined it, the less inclined I was to attempt an attack. Not just because our chances of fighting it were pretty much nil, but because it was trapped here, like Myst had trapped the Snow Hag.
Wait . . . the Snow Hag! She was bound to the snow, and maybe she would be able to help. I made a split-second decision. Ulean, I need you to go find the Snow Hag and bring her here. She should be able to travel swiftly through this storm—it will be like old home week to her. If anybody can help us, I imagine she might. But you must hurry. I’m afraid if we try to attack the paralaxium it will destroy at least some of my men, and in the end, be destroyed. And it’s a death that might not need to happen.
I understand, Cicely. I will return as soon as I can. And with that she swept away.
I turned to the others and told them what I’d done. “It’s the only way I can see to get through this gate without a loss of life. And truth is”—I glanced back at the paralaxium—“I don’t want to kill it. I don’t know what it is I’m feeling, but I think we need to free it. We need to get through this guardian without shedding blood.”
“You make me proud to be your grandfather,” Hunter said.
Check and Fearless flashed me smiles, and I realized they, too, had been taken in by the creature. Grieve said nothing, but rubbed my back as I stood there. Finally, we stepped farther away from the creature and settled down on one of the boulders to wait for Ulean’s return.
As we huddled in the dim light flickering up from the ice, I contemplated the future without Myst. I had to keep some hope. Kaylin was gone, that much we knew. But he wasn’t dead, so at least we had some comfort there. Grieve and I would live in the unending winter, while Rhiannon and Chatter would live in a world of summer and sun. The prospect of days stretching into decades into centuries and millennia suddenly felt daunting—more than I could take in, and once again, I felt overwhelmed by the changes through which I’d gone.
But I’ll get there, I thought. Every day my life will become a little bit more my new normal. Every day my new life will become a little more engrained.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Grieve bumped against me, his voice soft and soothing. “You seem a million miles away.”
“Perhaps I am.” I cocked my head to smile at him, then took his hand. “I think it’s just . . . shock. The shock of this war, the culture shock I’m going through, the physical shock of the transformation. It’s enough to send me spinning, and sometimes, when we pause long enough for me to listen to my thoughts, I feel like I’m sliding into a deep hole, unable to sort out all that’s happened. If we defeat Myst, I’ll have the time to puzzle out who I am and what I’m doing. Until then, I feel like I’m making things up on the go.”
“Flying by the seat of your pants, so to speak?” His eyes twinkled then, the stars shimmering softly within the luminous black void. “And yes, when—not if, but when—we defeat Myst, then you will take time to rest, to learn more about the life you’ve entered.”
“Lainule tried to warn me. Several times she warned me that if I was successful, things would never be the same. I didn’t understand what she was talking about, and of course, she couldn’t tell me.” I worried my lip, wishing once again that the former Summer Queen was still with us. She’d been a fountain of strength, and even though I thought, at times, that she was hard and cruel, now I understood why she had been the way she was.
“What would you have done if she had been able to tell you? Do you know? Would you have let her die? Or . . . would you have gone through with it?”
The question had run through my mind a thousand times in the past month. By finding Lainule’s heartstone and returning it to her, I’d not only saved her life, but I’d set into motion the events leading to Rhiannon and me being crowned the new Fae Queens. When I thought over the alternative—Lainule dying, with no one to take her place—the answer was obvious. Though a little part of me still rebelled, still wished I’d never returned to New Forest.
“That’s not a fair question, and you know it. I may have had the illusion of choice, but there could be only one outcome when you think about it.”
Grieve laughed. “You always had a choice. You could have said no and walked away.”
“But what kind of person would I be if I’d have done that?” I glared at him. My love was boundless for the man, but sometimes I wanted to clobber him.
“You would have been the kind of person who could never have successfully taken the crown. You’d have been more like Myst than like yourself. You think Myst would sacrifice her own future for anybody else?”
He wrapped his arm around my sho
ulder then, and pulled me close. “I love you, Cicely, because of all your flaws and all your wonderful attributes. I love you because there would never have been a question in your mind as to what you should do. You had a choice, yes—you did, regardless of what you think. But you chose this path. You chose the harder road.”
“And am I now all the better for it?” I thought of all the permutations of what might have been, but they were so much fodder for fantasy now.
With a deep sigh, I swept the whole conversation away. “It’s too late in the day for philosophical musings. We’re in the midnight of this battle, and we just have to hold on till morning. Best to leave the musings for after—for when we look back and say, ‘Do you remember when we were sitting in the cave, waiting for Ulean to help us with the paralaxium?’ Then we can decipher the web that brought us here.”
“No ghosts of the past, then, while we wait?” Grieve brushed my lips with his but stopped as Lannan sauntered up. “What do you want, Altos?”
“I wonder, the guards are keeping watch, but the question remains, does Myst know we’re here? Why aren’t we dismantling that beast? My men will not be harmed by the kiss of cold.” The look on his face told us he thought we were making a mistake.
“That beast is a creature from an outer plane, and I don’t really think it’s wise to go killing it off if we can help it.” I let out an exasperated sigh. “Lannan, you are not so far up on the food chain that you have no enemies. If the paralaxium’s people—or whatever you call them—find out we killed an enslaved member of their tribe, we’re all on the shit list. And while you vampires won’t be destroyed by the cold, even I am not immune to that bone-chilling touch. What if they came to New Forest and rampaged through the town?”
Lannan let out a harsh, short laugh. “Cicely, by the time we’re done, New Forest will be empty. Myst and her freakshow parade drain the life from the city even while we’re sitting here twiddling our thumbs. By the time this war is over, the town’s going to be dead. Do you understand? People are dying right and left.”