But it looked as though my dreams did…
I was falling down a mountain and no matter how I scrabbled to get back to the top, more of the mountain came crumbing down over me. I would dig myself out only for more and more to come crashing over me, swallowing me whole. My hand would reach the surface as I held my breath praying that someone would find me and pull me out before I ran out of air. It was so dark down there and I didn’t want this to be how I died. I didn’t want this to be my final minutes before being taken from this earth.
But we don’t all get to choose unless making the decision to take time into our own hands. For we might not be able to choose life but we could always choose to fight for it! So I gripped onto what I could feel around me and I pulled and I heaved. Reaching up with my other hand I did the same and soon my head breeched the surface and I was gasping for breath. Down here everything was clearer than when I had been climbing. Up there I couldn’t see what I had been climbing or an end to its consistently bleak onslaught but now I could see it all.
It wasn’t a mountain at all, I was trapped inside a gargantuan hourglass that was being fed by my own tears from above. The tears then turned to stone, pale crystals that made up the impossible crumbling mountain that lay in front of me. I was trapped in my own cage of time, fuelled by my pain, one of grief and suffering for all I had lost.
“Stop.” I whispered reaching up, trying to tell myself that she was killing me, burying me with her misery…but she wouldn’t listen. So this time I shouted,
“Stop! Stop it Keira!” I looked to see the side of the glass dome around me crack but it wasn’t enough. The other me only cried harder and I looked above to see a torrent of crystal tears falling, raining down on me, signifying my death. I had one last chance to call out and this time I did so in anger, screaming,
“STOP! PUT A STOP TO THIS! SAVE US ALL!” Suddenly the glass around me smashed just as the tears landed, crashing into me like a bone crushing wave. It should have killed me but it didn’t and I opened my eyes to take in the destruction of what I had done. The solid tears had spread out like gravel, showing me now the horrors of what had been buried beneath.
“No, no…it’s not meant to be this way, it’s not…it was never meant to happen like this.” I sobbed as I dragged my way over to the still bodies of those I loved. They had all been buried there, Sophia, Vincent, Pip, Adam…even Lucius. They all lay scattered around me and I cried out, cursing the Gods and the injustice of taking them from me. But then that’s when I found him.
My light in the darkness was no longer burning bright and I had been the cause. I screamed at the sight of the man I loved lying there dead like the others and I hated myself. I loathed my utter existence, knowing whatever had happened to get me to this point, I had done something wrong, or worse…nothing at all. I screamed up at them again, threating the Gods against the wrath of this lonely, heartbroken girl who was no longer strong enough to do anything but cry out the never-ending tears of agony.
I let my head fall forward in my hopelessness and those same tears fell. I opened my eyes frowning at what I now held cupped in my hands.
“An hourglass.” I whispered, as there it was. The same one I had just broken free of and it too…
Was catching my tears.
“Keira wake up.” Draven commanded me, jerking me back into this world. I opened my eyes to see the morning peeking through the curtains and I looked down to my hands which no longer held an hourglass but instead a hand I knew.
“Draven?”
“I’m here, it was just a dream sweetheart, it wasn’t real,” he told me and I closed my eyes against the hurt in knowing that… no, not now but…one day…it could be.
“Hey, come now,” he said turning me so that we were lying facing each other.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked and I shook my head telling him no.
“Alright love, I understand but you know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you…don’t you?” he told me cupping my cheek and I couldn’t help the single tear that fell from my eye, quickly soaking into my pillow.
“Do you trust me?” I nodded and said,
“Yes.” Because I did. I trusted Draven to do what was right by me and in keeping me safe. I trusted it so much that I knew he would give up the world for me…because he was. And it almost killed me to know that his trust in me would only bring him what he feared the most…
My death.
But I needed him to know why and yet my words would have ruined everything. I wanted to tell him but I couldn’t be allowed to speak because even though I trusted him right now I couldn’t even trust myself.
“I have a wedding gift for you,” he told me and I had to hold in the rest of the tears that wanted to follow the first.
“Alright.” I told him and he kissed my hand before getting up from the bed. He disappeared into the other room and came back with a small square gift wrapped in red velvet.
“I was going to save this until after we were married but after last night’s gift you gave me, I wanted to give you something in return. It will eventually go with another gift I have for you, one that will have to wait until we return home I am afraid.” He said, lying back onto the bed and handing me the small package.
I decided in that very minute that whatever lay in my hands now was to determine whether I told Draven everything or not. Because without that key we were going nowhere so there was only one hope left and that was to tell Draven everything I knew. Everything I had been planning in the hope that he would do the right thing, not for me but for everyone else we loved. That way I wouldn’t have to go back to the past and deceive him. I would be giving him the option to choose and even though I didn’t hold much faith in his choice being to risk my life, I knew we were running out of options.
Whatever I opened now, I would let my gift be the answer I was looking for. So with a deep breath I untied the bow, reached inside the material and held it up letting the velvet fall away.
“Oh my God.” I uttered in astonishment, knowing this was it, the sign I had been looking for. I reached out my fingers onto the glass as if I was actually touching Bill’s coin behind it.
The very coin that saved me and now the same coin that would save everyone else but me.
“Do you like it?” I could barely speak and I nodded and told him with tears running freely down my cheeks,
“You don’t know what this means to me.” Because he didn’t. One day he would…but not today. Because today I read the inscription he had carved into the wood he’d had the coin mounted to.
And today, those words weren’t going to be true…
‘I will always bring you home.’
Chapter 35
Journey Impossible
Draven’s surprise gift completely floored me and if I needed any bigger sign than that then I was a blind fool. For I knew there could be nothing greater than Draven himself handing me the key to my destiny. After this I asked him in a soft wanting voice to simply make love to me, for I knew what he didn’t and that it would be our last chance for some time. I couldn’t believe how much I was going to miss him, even though I was leaving in search of a younger version of him, I knew it still wasn’t the same. It felt as though I had only just got him back and now I was being forced to leave him once more. It was certainly a cruel hand of fate which I had been dealt but one that I could only hope wasn’t all in vain.
Not long after we made love was the heart wrenching task of saying goodbye. Early the next morning Sophia knocked on our door to get Draven, sending him off to where the rest of the groomsmen were waiting to leave for Worcester. It was under a three-hour drive away so we had plenty of time to get there as the wedding itself was planned for later in the day. Draven had managed to have Witley Court closed for the day so that Sophia’s wedding arrangements could be made without interruption.
I would never forget having to say goodbye to Draven not knowing how long we would be parted, but what was worse was having
to hide my anguish from him. I had asked Sophia to give us a minute so she waited in our bedroom.
“I will see you at the altar, sweetheart.” Draven told me kissing my cheek gently, only for me it wasn’t enough. So I took him by surprise and gripped him to me, kissing him as if it would be our last and I both loved and hated every second of it. Goosebumps rippled along my skin and if I hadn’t been kissing him I would have been sobbing in his arms. I wanted to burn every inch of him to memory and remember the taste of his lips, the scent of his neck when I buried my head there and I wanted to remember how loved he made me feel with every adoring look he gave me.
But most importantly, I didn’t want to walk away. But I pulled back and up until that moment I hadn’t known my own strength.
“That felt like another gift,” he told me softly, putting his forehead to mine and I could barely hold myself back any longer. My fingers ached in the fists I held them and I welcomed the pain as my nails dug crescent moons into my palms. I needed something, anything to focus on other than the pain I was inflicting upon my heart.
“It was…and now I give you another.” I unclenched my fists and pulled off my beautiful wedding ring, knowing that I had to do this. I had to push myself harder than ever before, holding back every instinct I had that wanted to just hold him to me and never let go. But instead I took his hand and placed my ring in his palm and said,
“I will be back to get this soon, take good care of it for me for I will be waiting to wear it again when I meet you at that altar...take care of my heart and my wings, Dominic.” I finally looked up at him and I hated the single tear that fell.
“Hey, come now,” he said wiping away that tear with his thumb.
“Promise me, Draven.” He took a better look at me and whatever he found he must have known that I needed this right now.
“I failed you once in caring for your heart Catherine, but never will I fail you again. I swear it by the Gods above and below that I will forever treasure your heart, for it is my greatest gift received.” I nodded and then hugged him to me one last time.
“Now promise me you will be at that altar,” he asked and still holding on to him, I looked out the window, looking up to the clouds and made him a vow I would risk my life to keep.
“I promise you I will be there. I vow nothing in this world would be able to stop me.” I looked up at him and he kissed my forehead, seeming satisfied he got the answer he wanted.
“I love you,” he told me and with my heart and his wings in his hand he turned and left. I held onto the door and just before closing it I told him,
“As I love you, Dominic,” as my last farewell. The last thing I will take with me as I walk through that fated Janus gate is the smile he gave me before I closed the door and crumbled behind it. Sophia ran from the room and held me against the door as I cried silent sobs, knowing it still wasn’t safe for he might hear me.
“I had to say goodbye.” I told her when I knew it would be safe.
“I know sweetheart, we all did.” And it was only when she said this that I fully understood. It wasn’t just me that must have found this difficult, for I wasn’t the only one saying goodbye to a loved one.
“I’m sorry.” I told her and she gave me a small smile and said,
“Me too.”
I don’t know how long we stayed there on the floor behind that door but the time wasn’t long enough before I had to put back on my mask and play happy bride. Draven could understand my emotional state, putting it down to all we had gone through to get to this point. But to my family, I should be the happiest person in the world right now. And because that was who I was supposed to be, that’s who I had to be.
But before we greeted everyone in the lobby and got ourselves all together ready for the first leg of the journey I showed Sophia what Draven had given me.
“It’s the key,” she said as astonished as I had been.
“I know.”
“It truly is fated.” I nodded and said,
“He told me the only reason he was giving me this gift now was because of what I did last night when I sang for him.” I told her knowing she was right, it really was fated.
“There is nothing stopping us now,” I added softly and she agreed. And I was right, nothing was stopping us now as the day had finally come and whereas I should have been excited about my wedding, I was just upset that I had to be walking away from it.
My dad was the only man in our group as we travelled out into the country and I laughed when hearing all about Frank and him getting drunk at the bar last night and not remembering anything after a certain point. I knew the guys had obviously pulled the same trick as we had and Pip, Sophia and I had all given each other knowing looks, trying not to laugh. However, there was one person I especially wanted to see and that was Ari, who was late getting down to us. One look at her face and I knew why and also how she felt. It didn’t matter how much makeup you wear or how hot the shower you take, there is no masking a night of crying yourself to sleep.
I mouthed the words ‘you okay?’ but she just shook her head as if to say not now, so I let it go. In fact, out of the four of us she looked like the only one who couldn’t wait to leave and I wasn’t talking about our drive to Witley Court.
We all piled into our cars in convoy and because they knew I would want it, Sophia and Pip had arranged for me to travel in the limo with my family. So for the next three hours I spent my time losing myself in family life and loving every second of it. Little Ella singing songs and asking about her dress for the millionth time was the most endearing thing. My mum looking at me and telling me how she couldn’t believe this day was finally here and how proud she was of me. Libby and Frank talking about us all going on a family holiday together after the wedding. Ella getting excited about her dress some more, making us all laugh. The way my mum and dad held hands and the way my sister and Frank did the same.
It was all so beautiful that when I finally got there all my sadness was gone and was replaced with nothing but pride. I was proud of my family for being as supportive and as wonderful as they were. But I was also proud of myself because I knew by doing this I was giving them a chance to continue living that beautiful life. Ella would get to grow up and live a full life, one day getting to be a bride and walking down the aisle in a beautiful dress. And my only hope was that my mother and father would get to see it along with Libby and Frank. And maybe they would say to her, ‘I bet Aunty Kazzy is watching all this from Heaven and she would tell you how beautiful you look’. Yes, that was all I could hope for and it was enough.
We soon arrived at our next hotel where Draven and I would, at some point, be spending our wedding night. Brockencote Hall was near a place called Kidderminster and not far from Witley Court. It was a beautiful white Victorian mansion down a leafy lane and when we pulled up, my family all gasped at how stunning not only the building itself was but also the grounds. This was where we were all to get ready and as far as I knew Draven was somewhere inside, getting all suited and booted ready for the ceremony.
However Sophia, Pip, Ari and I all had a different plan and one that involved us getting to the venue early so no one would see us entering the fountain’s secret doorway.
“Where are you going, dear?” My mum asked and I knew the time had come to lie.
“There are some things that need finalising at the venue, but it’s only half an hour away so I should be back in plenty of time.” My mum was about to argue when Sophia walked up behind me and said,
“It should be fine, dare I let my brother’s bride turn up late to her own wedding?” My mother laughed, obviously feeling better now she knew Sophia was coming with me.
“Alright love, but try not to be too long.”
“Okay mum, you guys relax a bit and then start getting ready, I think Dra, I mean Dominic has ordered you guys some bucks fizz.” My mum made a face as if saying she had drunk quite enough last night and my father laughed.
“You girls go and leave
your mother to me,” he told me kissing me on the cheek.
“Thanks Dad.” Then I kissed my mum and Libby and Ella too, trying not to make too much of a show at saying goodbye.
“Take care of mum.” I whispered to Libby and was glad she took it how I wanted her to and not how I actually meant it, her thinking it was just for the next few hours, not the lifetime she had left.
Ari and Pip were still in the car and only RJ and Hilary had got out to join the rest of them. My Aunty, Hilary’s mum, was no doubt already inside waiting for us all. This got me thinking about people and the only person I hadn’t seen yet was Ranka. No wonder I hadn’t thought about her considering I hadn’t even spoken to her, but as one of Draven’s close council members it did get me thinking about where she was. So I asked Sophia as soon as I got in the car.
“She will meet us there.” This surprised me considering we hadn’t included her in any of the details…or had we? And when I say we I actually meant Sophia.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I have instructed her to guard the gate once we are through in case something insane happens, like my brother finding out and trying to follow us in there to get you back.” I hadn’t really thought about it that way .
“You think that’s a possibility?”
“I think we can’t take anything for granted or assume anything will or will not happen. Either way he will need a sound mind to both calm him down and at least persuade him to try and act rationally. That or we get her to pretend to be you and stall the wedding if we are not back in time.” Okay I really didn’t like the sound of that last one.
“She could do that?!” I shrieked.
“Yes but I wouldn’t worry, it’s not like she would do.”
“And we know that with a certainty do we?” I asked sarcastically.
“She is loyal first to the Fates and then my brother, so no I don’t believe she would do this…not unless she had to.” Again I wasn’t convinced and my look screamed this.