Theresa gave her another odd, offbeat smile and took the empty coffee mug. “I started learning to be prepared when I went freelance. Because I don’t work out of the office every day, I needed to find places where I could access the Internet, get charged up, stuff like that.”
Alicia waited for Theresa to come back from filling her cup. “Must be nice. Having that freedom.”
“It has its pros and cons.” Theresa sipped the coffee and set it carefully on the table. “Puts a lot of mileage on my car. Sometimes makes it hard to get stuff done if I’m out and about and haven’t found a good spot to roost. It’s a little bit like being a traveling salesperson, always on the road.”
“Have you thought about getting something more permanent?”
That seemed to be the wrong question, or at least a semi-impertinent one. At any rate, Theresa frowned and cut her gaze from Alicia. She tapped her fingers on her computer lid.
“Sure,” she said finally. “Of course. Something with a steady paycheck would be great. Working on commission can be inconvenient. Never really sure if the money’s coming in, or when.”
“It was like that, owning the shop. We had our regulars, and of course the trips we scheduled always brought in regular money, but so much of it was seasonal.” Alicia paused, thinking of how many times she’d budgeted their accounts to the literal penny, holding her breath until some money trickled in. “I’m not sure how I’ll feel if I go back to work for someone else, but I won’t miss that part. A steady paycheck would be a nice change.”
Theresa gave her a wan smile. “Selling your share seems like it was a good choice for you.”
“It was the right decision. I’m sorry Ilya didn’t go for it.” Alicia paused, watching the other woman. “He hasn’t changed his mind?”
“He has a couple weeks left, but after that, it’ll be too late.” Theresa shrugged.
Alicia shook her head. “He’s stubborn.”
“Yeah.” Theresa sipped more coffee. “So you’re looking for a job? I thought you’d do more traveling.”
“I want to. But I can’t live forever on the money from the sale. I’m lucky I don’t have a mortgage, at least. Being a lady of leisure doesn’t seem to be in my blood.” Alicia laughed. “So, yeah, I plan to do something. I’m not sure what yet. It’s been so long since I had to think about it. I’m not even sure what I’m qualified to do.”
“You’ll find something.” Theresa glanced at her computer. “Speaking of looking for jobs, I’d better get to work. I have some leads I need to research and stuff.”
Alicia waved a hand. “Of course. I’m taking up your time.”
Without much fanfare, both of them bent to their laptops. Theresa typed more regularly than Alicia, who’d intended to look up job listings but had instead spent most of her time scrolling through travel blogs. So many places to see in the world. How could she ever see everything? How would she decide where to go next?
“Zimmerman’s Diner is going into foreclosure,” Theresa said, out of the blue.
Alicia looked up. “Hmm? The diner?”
“Yes. We were there a couple nights ago.” Theresa coughed lightly. “Ilya and I.”
“I haven’t been to the diner in ages. We used to hang out there all the time in high school. Sometimes we’d go right after school and stay there until Galina got off work. She’d pick us up on the way home. Or after the school dances. Wow, what a blast from the past.” Alicia thought back to that. “Jenni worked there after she got her driver’s license. We all kind of stopped hanging out there, after . . . well. So it’s going into foreclosure?”
“Yes. It’s got some back taxes owed on it. Nothing outrageous, but sometimes people just don’t want to be bothered paying them. They want to dump it.” Theresa looked thoughtful.
“That’s too bad.”
Theresa looked up with a smile. “Not for me. It’s exactly the kind of property I should be able to get some interest in.”
“You like what you do.” It wasn’t a question, but it seemed to take Theresa aback.
She nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, I do. It’s not exactly what I thought I’d be doing, but it’s going all right. I think it might work out for me.”
“That’s a good thing.”
“Yeah. Yes,” Theresa said more firmly. “It really is.”
“I hope he changes his mind,” Alicia said suddenly. “I’ve tried to tell myself I don’t care, that it’s his business and he’s no longer my problem.”
“You were married for what, ten years? And part of each other’s lives for longer than that. It would be strange if you just stopped caring.”
Alicia frowned. “I know, but still.”
“Do you . . . are you still . . . you’re not in love with him anymore. Obviously.” Theresa paused. “I mean, you and Niko are together. Right?”
Hearing someone else say it made it feel more real and also more like a dream. Alicia grinned. “Yeah. We are.”
“That has to be a little complicated.”
“No kidding. Plus, if it all works out, I’ll have the joy of getting Galina back as my mother-in-law.” Alicia snorted softly. “Lucky me.”
“No kidding.” Theresa’s phone rang, and she pulled it out of her bag to silence it quickly. Whatever she saw on the screen must’ve disconcerted her, because her expression twisted. “Shit.”
“You okay?”
“I have to take this outside. Can you watch my stuff?” Theresa was already getting up, closing her laptop lid, and grabbing her bag.
Alicia waved. “Yes, sure. Go. I’ll be hanging out here for a bit.”
Twenty minutes later, she looked up from her online scrolling to realize Theresa had not yet returned. Alicia got up to peek out the coffee shop’s front window, searching. She thought she caught a glimpse of curly black hair standing by a car parked toward the front of the lot. When another ten minutes passed without Theresa’s return, Alicia sent the other woman a text. Theresa didn’t answer it. She waited another few minutes but, concerned, figured she ought to make sure everything was okay.
She packed everything up, tucking her own computer into her bag and Theresa’s laptop into the protective sleeve she’d left on the table. Making sure she hadn’t left anything behind, Alicia grabbed both bags and went out. She found Theresa standing by her car, a battered gray Volvo that had seen better days.
Theresa was crying.
This was awkward. Alicia cleared her throat to catch the other woman’s attention, and when that didn’t work, she reached out to touch her arm lightly.
Theresa turned, swiping at her eyes. “Hey. Sorry, that took longer than I thought.”
“What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing. I mean, it’s not nothing, but it’s fine.” Theresa rubbed again at her eyes, using the tips of her fingers to blot away her smearing mascara.
Alicia frowned. “It doesn’t look fine.”
“It’ll be okay. Really.” Theresa put on a watery smile that did nothing to convince Alicia.
“I brought your stuff.” She held it out.
“Thanks.” Theresa took the bag and set it on the trunk of the car. She sagged suddenly, shoulders hunching. “Thanks.”
“Look, I’m sure it’s none of my business, but you definitely don’t look fine. You look terrible,” Alicia said.
Theresa looked at her. No smile this time. She wasn’t crying anymore, although she looked like she could start again at any minute. “I’m going to lose the stuff in my storage unit, which is everything I own that doesn’t fit in my car, minus the stuff my ex was keeping for me in his garage and which he put out with the trash when he figured out I wasn’t going to get back together with him.”
“Oh . . .” Alicia wasn’t sure what that meant.
Saying that seemed to break a dam, because now the words came fast and hard. “I’m six months behind on the payment. I don’t have the money to pay the fees. I was counting on my commission check to be deposited this week, which w
ould cover some of what I owe, but there’s been a delay. I don’t want to say it’s my ex’s fault, but I wouldn’t put it past him to have screwed up the numbers on purpose somehow, just to cause me trouble. They reissued it, but it won’t hit my account until the next pay cycle, which is in two weeks. I don’t know how they think I can live for another two weeks on the change I might be able to scrounge up from underneath my car seats. I’m so screwed, Alicia. I thought it was all going to be okay, but it’s not. I am totally screwed.”
“I’m sorry. Can I help you?” At the sight of Theresa’s bleak expression, Alicia felt her own stomach twist. Something was very wrong, but she had no idea what it could be. She’d known the other woman for a number of years, she realized, but knew very little about her. Still, she was family. There had to be something Alicia could do. “Can I lend you the money for the storage units?”
Theresa barked out a humorless laugh. “It won’t matter. Thanks, but I’m so far beyond all that.”
“Are you sure? How much do you owe?”
“Alicia,” Theresa said wearily, “I’m literally fifty thousand dollars in debt. I am never going to get out from underneath this. Never.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Then
“Do you know how proud I am of you?” Theresa’s father was in a good mood. He’d shaved, put on clean clothes. So far as she could tell, he wasn’t using, at least not at the moment.
When he hugged her, Theresa closed her eyes and let him. They’d just returned from her high school graduation. She wasn’t at the top of her class, but she did well enough to get a small scholarship to Millersville University. She was going to study accounting. This didn’t thrill her, but it felt like a good, steady choice. She’d be able to get a job. She wouldn’t have to live in a crappy apartment with roaches in the walls and rats by the dumpster. Not ever again.
“Very proud,” her father added when she didn’t answer.
“Thanks, Dad.” She squeezed him in return, then let go.
It had been a tough year and a half since Galina Stern had tossed them out. Her dad had quit his job at the hospital two months ago, or so he said. Theresa suspected he was fired. Again. You couldn’t miss so many days of work and not expect repercussions. He would find something else, he told her. It was what he always said. But he hadn’t yet.
He was cooking dinner. Most everyone else she knew was having a graduation party, or at least going out to a restaurant in celebration, but Theresa didn’t bother asking if they could do that. He might have said yes, but she’d just feel bad about spending the money. She took off her graduation gown and folded it neatly, along with the cap. She couldn’t imagine ever needing either of them again, but since she was the one who’d come up with the money to pay for them, she wasn’t willing to simply toss them. Beneath it, she wore the required white dress she also couldn’t imagine ever wearing again. She’d bought it at the thrift shop for $3.99, along with the shoes for another three bucks. She hated the entire outfit, but it had done the job.
When she was out on her own, she would never have to suffer with thrift-store clothes or not eating in restaurants. She would make a good life for herself. She wasn’t going to mess it up, either. Not with drugs or booze or falling for the wrong person. She’d make the right choices.
Her father’s good mood continued over the spaghetti dinner he cooked. He poured them both glasses of cheap red wine even though Theresa wouldn’t touch hers. She should have. He’d finish it for her. But what difference did it make, really? He’d drink the whole bottle. They both knew it. And later, there would be a pill or three from the tin he kept in his pocket. She ought to have known better, thinking he’d stay sober at least this one night.
“I’ll take care of the dishes,” he said when they finished eating. “Don’t you have a party or something to go to? You must have a party.”
She had received a few invitations. Theresa liked the kids at Central High about as much as they liked her, which was to say she had a few dozen casual friends and one or two good ones. Heather’s family was in town, but Lia’s party was tonight. Theresa could go to that.
“Nah, we can hang out, Dad.” Everything was changing. No matter how eager she was to get out of there, she couldn’t make herself forget that in a few short months, she wouldn’t be around anymore. And then what would happen without her there to take care of things?
Theresa was giddy with the relief of not caring.
Her father shook his head. “You should go out, Theresa. You don’t need to stay home with me. It’s a Friday night. You should have a date.”
“Yeah, sure.” She laughed, shaking her head. “No, thanks.”
“I don’t understand you.” He sighed. “When I was your age—”
“I don’t see the point in it, Dad. That’s all.”
Tying herself down to someone now would be stupid, when she planned to leave as soon as she could. Millersville was only an hour or so away, but the rest of her life could take her anywhere. Besides, she thought as she cleared the table and washed the dishes while Dad packed up the leftovers, having a boyfriend would mean taking care of him, and she was just about over all that. She didn’t ever want to take care of anyone except herself ever again.
“I’ll run out and pick up a DVD. What are you in the mood for?” He jingled the change in his pocket—a restless, familiar sign. “Something funny? Scary?”
She didn’t want him to go out at all. The DVD was an excuse. He’d probably already put in a call to someone while she was in the bathroom. He would come home flying.
“We can just watch what’s on TV, Dad.”
It was useless to protest. If she told him not to go, he would argue with her, and it would ruin the night. If she offered to drive him, he would end up lying to her face about what he was doing, and she would have to pretend she didn’t know what was going on when he ran in “real quick” to “catch up” with his buddy.
For a moment, though, he stopped fidgeting to look at her. There was love and pride in his eyes. It was like he was really seeing her for the first time in a long time.
“Sure,” he said. “Sure, okay.”
He made it through forty minutes or so of inane TV before he started to jostle his knee up and down. Tapped his fingers on the arm of the sofa. He polished off the wine and moved on to even cheaper beer, but it wouldn’t be long before he was digging in his pocket for the little tin that used to hold mints. If it was empty, he would go out to see if he could fill it.
He did go out a short time later. Theresa no longer wanted to watch TV. In the tiny galley kitchen that always stank of grease and garbage, she cleaned off the counter. Her father had separated out a stack of mail for her, most of it junk. The information from Millersville, about selecting a roommate, and when the first payments were due, she set aside. There were three credit-card offers addressed to her that she tossed in the trash. She’d seen her dad chasing the payments on credit cards, using one to pay off another. She wasn’t going to get suckered into that, not if she wanted to start off ahead in life and not always running behind.
There was one other letter, already removed from the envelope. Theresa read it, then read it again to make sure she understood the contents, before looking at the discarded envelope stuck to the back of one of her letters. It wasn’t addressed to her, and she was sure her dad hadn’t meant for her to read it.
Written in a loosely looping and clearly feminine hand, it looked like it should have been a love letter; it was not. Theresa had no idea why Galina was writing to her father and, frankly, wished she didn’t even know there was a letter at all. Whatever happened between them that kept them tied together was none of Theresa’s business or her concern, and she didn’t want to know any more about it. If her father wanted to spend his life going back and forth with a woman who thought it was okay to put them out on the street with only the clothes on their backs, he was more than welcome.
There was one part of the letter Theresa couldn’
t stop thinking about. Galina had called her dad out as an addict, something Theresa had never said aloud to her father or to anyone else. Galina’s words also laid blame at his feet for something that had happened, something he’d done, unnamed but clearly horrible. Something to do with “all that money” he owed her.
Heart pounding, stomach sick, Theresa went to bed but couldn’t sleep. She heard her father come home sometime later. The clatter of dishes in the kitchen. Running water. She tensed at the pause of his footsteps outside her bedroom door, but he didn’t knock or try to come inside.
In the morning, sitting across from him at the table, she thought she would ask him why he was still tied to Galina, but in the end, she discovered she didn’t really want to know.
Once she’d begun unburdening herself, Theresa found herself almost incapable of holding back—except for the part about finding that letter from Galina. That was an entire tale, one she thought she’d never know the full depth of, and she didn’t want to get into it. What she’d already spilled was bad enough.
“He opened almost a dozen credit cards in my name while I was in college. He ran up debt I had no idea existed until last year,” Theresa said. Alicia had insisted on taking her somewhere to talk. Ironically, they’d ended up at the diner. She hadn’t been there in years, and now twice in one week. “He’d been making the minimum payments on the cards for years, but always in rotation. He’d pay a few one month, then a few others the next. Always enough so he didn’t totally default. Just enough to completely screw my credit score. I’d never had reason to look at it. I had one credit card that I got right after I graduated from college, which I never carried a balance on because I’d grown up watching him overspend, and I was determined I wouldn’t live like that. I bought my cars used, with cash. Lived in the same apartment for years so I didn’t need to go through the application process for a new one.”
“Damn, Theresa, that’s rough. I’m so sorry.”
Theresa warmed her hands on the mug of coffee. It tasted burnt, but her stomach was churning too much to drink it, anyway. She shook her head.