My chest heaves as I pant for air, desperate for his lips to be against mine—desperate for more souls. “Is that a bad thing?”
“I don’t know,” he says. “I’ve never met one before.”
“Oh.” I trace my fingers up and down the nape of his neck. “Well, maybe it’s a good thing.”
He arches a brow in doubt. “That you’re spoiled?”
I nod. “It means I’m taken care of, which means I’m strong, right? Which will only help me when I have to fight off the creatures that exit the portal. So, that means you should only spoil me more, right?” I push gently on the back of his neck, urging him to come closer.
“Your logic is ridiculous and makes absolutely no sense.” He sighs. “But, I’ll continue feeding you. After we’re done, though, and you have a clear head, we’re going to sit down and talk before we finish training for the day.”
I nod, barely hearing him, then guide his lips to mine. I let out a hungry moan mixed with a content sigh when he doesn’t pull away. Our tongues entwine as he kisses me deeply—feeds me what I crave the most. Halfway through the feeding, my legs snake around his waist again. He groans, grinding against me. Then the slow kisses quickly turn reckless, his hands traveling up and down my body as he rocks against me again. I want more—need more. But deep down, way, way in the back of my mind, a voice screams that what I’m doing is wrong. That kissing the grim reaper is wrong. That I’m wrong. An abomination. That I don’t deserve souls. The voice continues to grow louder the longer we continue, until finally I break the connection between our lips, my head pulsating with pain.
Gasping for air, my overly fed body sags against the wall. Cameron holds onto me, refusing to let me lower my feet to the floor.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, watching me intently.
“What do you mean?” I ask, my voice sounding far away.
“I mean, why did you stop the feeding session?”
“Did I?” I sigh, my body swaying as souls swim around inside my chest.
God, how can something so bad feel this good…
“Remi, don’t play dumb with me. I know something’s wrong because there’s no way you’d ever stop a feeding session.” He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, his lips quirking. “You’re too greedy.”
Don’t tell him, the voice whispers. If you do, you’ll end up staying locked up here forever
I don’t know who the voice belongs to, but his words could possibly be true. While I’ve been at the facility for over three weeks now, I hardly know anything about this place. I’ve met Leader a total of four times and he spoke more to Cameron than to me. And the entire time I’ve been here, I’ve either been locked up in the training room or what I now call my bedroom.
“I’m just full,” I lie again, untangling my legs from his waist.
I move to step around him, but his hands find my waist and he holds me in place, trapping my body between him and the wall. The contact of his body, while cold, somehow sends a strange warmth glistening over my skin.
“You’re the worst liar I’ve ever met, which is going to make for a terrible reaper,” he breathes hotly against my ear. “So, if you’re going to lie, you better start doing a better job.”
“Is that our training lesson for the day?” My tone is surprisingly steady. “Or is this just another one of your reaper advice sessions that will lead to you trying to talk me out of this whole superhero business?”
“I never tried to talk you out of it. I just merely pointed out that there’s other alternatives.”
“Like being your reaper queen?”
“You say that like it’s the worst thing in the world.”
“Anything that requires having to live in the underworld for all of time and eternity is awful,” I tell him. “Besides, I highly doubt you’d enjoy me being your queen. You’ve barely been able to stand being around me for the last few weeks.”
“You may drive me crazy, but that doesn’t mean I’ve completely loathed the last few weeks. In fact, there’s been quite a few unexpected perks to this job.” He nudges my knees apart and grinds his hips against mine.
My eyes involuntarily roll into the back of my head and a groan escapes my lips. “What’re you doing to me?”
“What you want me to do.” His teeth graze my neck.
Another embarrassing groan leaves my lips. “I do—”
Someone clears their throat, cutting off either my protest or agreement—I’m really not sure what I was going to say.
Cameron and I break apart and turn to face Leader, who’s standing in the doorway of the training room, eyeballing us with curiosity mixed with a bit of worry.
From what I can tell, Leader is human, but he has an interesting look to him with white hair highlighted with a streak of blue. He also has strange markings on the backs of his hands that Cameron told me weren’t tattoos, but never explained further. And normally, Leader is dressed very professionally, but today he’s wearing a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up, cargo pants, along with combat boots. From his casual clothes, I immediately sense something is up.
Apparently, so does Cameron, because he says, “Why do you look like you’re about to go zombie hunting?”
“Wait? There’s zombies?” I ask worriedly. When Cameron shoots me a seriously look, I realize how stupid I am for being afraid of the undead. “Sorry. It just surprised me.”
“Why?” Cameron asks, stuffing his hands into the back pockets of his black jeans. “You’ve already been told that there’s a maddening in the building, along with another maddening that has jinn bloodlines. So, why do zombies existing shock you?”
I shrug. “I was just as surprised when you told me about the maddening.”
Truthfully, I’d never even heard the term maddening until Cameron explain they’re creatures that can drive someone to insanity simply with a touch. And while I felt a drop of fear, I was—still am—curious to see what one looks like.
“Is there one here?” I ask curiously, my gaze wandering toward the door where Leader stands. “A zombie, I mean.”
Leader glances between Cameron and I with the smallest ounce of concern in his expression.
That’s strange. Why would he be concerned?
Because he wants you all for himself. An image of bright red eyes flickers through my mind. Trust me.
I tense. Where have I seen those red eyes before?
My thoughts drift back to when the person—or thing—came to collect the curse from me. I barely remember anything about that night, other than throwing up at a party then being in tremendous pain. Then I woke up here in the facility with Leader telling me he saved me from death, that I was now a Reaper, and that Cameron was going to train me to become a superhero. I also learned that my parents were the reason why I was cursed. I’ve begged them to give more details about why my parents would curse me, but Leader told me I’d only learn the truth when he knows I can handle it, which apparently, he doesn’t think I’m capable of right now. He might be onto something, too, since every time I think of my parents cursing me, I want to break through the wall, track them down, and steal their souls. Which is exactly what I’ll do to the person—or thing—that collected my curse that day and brought me so much pain.
One day, I’ll get my revenge.
“Even if there was a zombie here, I wouldn’t let you see it,” Cameron says, tugging me out of my dark, revengeful thoughts. “Zombie bites are contagious.”
“Since when do you get to tell me what to do?” I quip, raising my brows.
He gives me a look that makes my hunger rumble to life. Then he inches toward me, lowering his voice. “Since the day I created you.” He moves my hair away from my shoulder, dips his head, and drags his teeth along my earlobe. “Whether you like it or not, princess, I own you.”
“You do not.” But my fluttering eyelashes and shuddering body suggest otherwise.
Cameron pulls away, grinning, and I open my mouth to say some not-so-nice words. But Le
ader interrupts the moment.
“Remi, I think it’s time for you to get some real world training.” He crosses the room toward us, taking cautious steps. “Without Cameron present.” Cameron’s lips part, and I’m assuming he’s about to protest, but Leader talks over him. “I need to see how she does without you around. Because, when it all comes down to it, you won’t be with her for the battle.”
“She’s not ready,” Cameron grits out, his hands balled into fists. “She can barely get through a training session without needing to be fed.”
“I think that’s because you’re feeding her too easily.” Leader gives Cameron a pressing look. “In fact, I think both of you could use a break from the feeding sessions.”
Cameron stares Leader down, his eyes blackening. “I’m not sure what you’re implying, but I think I should remind you who you’re speaking to and what I’m capable of.”
“I’m completely aware of what the Grim Reaper is capable of,” Leader says calmly, taking another step toward us. “And I’m not trying to insult you. I’m just trying to explain that in order for Remi to become a superhero, she needs to learn not to be so dependent on you.”
“Fine, if that’s what you want then that’s what you’ll get,” Cameron growls out. Then poof, he disappears in a cloud of hazy smoke.
“Where’d he go?” I ask, attempting not to panic. But Cameron has been with me since day one. Not to mention he’s my food source! What happens if I get hungry while Leader and I are out? I swallow hard, knowing exactly what will happen.
“Probably to the Underworld,” Leader explains, daring another step toward me. “Don’t worry, after he gets over his tantrum, he’ll come back.”
I stare at the place where Cameron stood moments ago, my chest aching with a strange emptiness. “How can you be so sure he will?”
“Because you’re here.”
What in the crazy reapers does that mean?
Before I can ask, he turns and whisks toward the door, motioning for me to follow. “Now come on. We don’t have a lot of time.”
I rush after him, my boots thudding against the floor. “Where are we going exactly?”
He casts a quick glance over his shoulder. “To meet Heartley, the maddening. And then we’re going into the city to track down a cyborg.”
“Oh.” I don’t know which is worse, my partner possessing the ability to drive me to the brink of insanity, or that fact that I have to go into the city with reaper blood in my system.
“Don’t worry, you’ll do great.” Leader gives me a soft pat on the arm and an enthusiastic smile. “If I didn’t think so, then I wouldn’t let you out.”
I may have believed him if the voice in my mind didn’t whisper ominous warnings.
Don’t trust him. If you do, your life will only end in tragedy. You’re not ready. You’ll never be.
End in tragedy? Hasn’t my life already ended? I think to myself. My parents cursed me and now I’m a reaper. What could be more tragic than that?
The voice laughs. Oh Remi, is that what you believe? Because there’s so much more to what happened to you. So, so much more.
Chapter 3
Ava
I’m in over my head. Way, way over my head. But I can’t back out. At least, according to my grandma.
“No matter what happens, don’t back out, Ava,” she said before I left the house. “If you back out then we will get kicked out. And if we get kicked out then you, me, and Larry are all gonna end up living on the streets.”
Like I really give a shit if Larry, my grandma’s on and off again boyfriend, ends up homeless. The guy is a straight up asshole, always has been since my grandma brought him into our lives years ago. When I was a child, he constantly yelled at me, even for things that weren’t my fault. His beer was warm. The house was too dusty. The neighbors were bugging him. I don’t know how he convinced himself that those things were somehow being caused by me. The only explanation he ever gave me was, “You’re the devil’s child—cursed—and one day you’re gonna find that out.” When I asked him what he meant, he told me to ask my grandma. So I did. My grandma insisted Larry was drunk and just babbling nonsense and while she seemed a bit squirrely, I chose to believe her. I mean, what other choice did I have? She’s the only family I have left, has been since the day my parents died in a car accident. Sure, she wasn’t always the best grandma ever, like the time she forgot me at the park or the carnival or the grocery store. But at least she took me to those places with her. Although, sometimes I wondered if she wished I wasn’t around, since she was always forgetting me. Sometimes I wished for a better life, one where I was remembered. That was when I was younger, though. Now I’ve realized wishing is ridiculous. That it doesn’t matter if I’m remembered. In fact, being forgotten can come in handy sometimes. Like, right now.
In exactly one hour, I’ll be eighteen, an official adult. But once again, my grandma forgot it’s my birthday. I’m glad, though. Because if she had remembered then I’d be at home, listening to her explain that she didn’t get me any presents or cake, but we could hang out and watch television together, just like we’ve done for every other one of my birthdays. Which would be fine except Larry would probably be there, and for the last few years or so, Larry has gotten too handsy with me.
“You’re a pretty lookin’ girl,” he told me one day when I was about fifteen. Then he tried to cop a feel. It was the first and last time I ever wore a dress. And the day I went from not liking Larry to utterly fucking hating him.
When I told my grandma about the incident, she dismissed me, calling me a liar.
“I went through too much to get Larry,” she said. “He’d never do something like that to me.”
“What do you mean you went through too much to get Larry?” I questioned. “I thought he hit on you in a bar and you guys fell madly in love within minutes.” I’d mentally rolled my eyes at the last part; always did whenever I heard their love story that I never fully believed.
Her eyes briefly widened but then she collected herself. “Go clean your room, Ava, and do your homework or whatever the hell kids your age are supposed to be doing.”
My heart hurt that she was dismissing what Larry did to me, but I was pissed off too. “What’re you going to do about Larry?”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “I think the real question is what am I gonna do with you? Because I can’t have another woman seducing my man.”
I gritted my teeth. “I didn’t seduce him.”
She eyed me over. “Oh yeah, then why are you wearing that short dress?”
The dress went to my knees, so I didn’t understand what the hell she was talking about. It didn’t really matter, though. “What I’m wearing has nothing to do with what happened. No guy should ever touch a girl without her permission and he didn’t have my permission.”
She rolled her eyes. “Sure he didn’t.”
Fuming and hurt more than I’ll ever admit, I turned and stomped toward my room.
“And Ava,” she called out. “If I ever hear about anything happening between Larry and you again, you won’t be welcome in my house anymore, got it?”
“Got it,” I gritted out.
It was the last time I openly spoke with my grandma. From then on, I avoided her at all costs and it felt like she did the same with me. I also avoided being in the house as much as I could, crashing on couches or park benches. But sometimes I had to go home, and whenever I did, Larry was there, waiting to remind me that my grandma cared more about him than me. Which made him think he owned me.
One day, I’m going to make both of them pay, I think to myself as I weave my way through the crowded bar I entered using my fake ID. I try not to touch as many people as possible—because I fucking hate being touched—as I make my way to the back doors. Once I’m outside, my grandma gave me specific instructions on what to do next.
First, a guy is going to wander down the alleyway to make a drug drop near the far back dumpster. He’ll leave the drugs u
nderneath a crate. I’ll have exactly one minute to grab the drugs and get the hell out of dodge before the person who bought the drugs shows up.
So, yeah, basically I’m about to steal from a drug dealer, which yes, I know, isn’t very smart. But not only did my grandma threaten me with all three of us being homeless if I didn’t do this, but she also said she’d get rid of everything I owned, including the few photos I have of my parents. That was what really did me over.
So, here I am about to rob a drug dealer. It’s not the first time I’ve stolen or anything, but definitely the first time I’ve stolen from this sketchy of a person.
I sigh as I reach the back door of the bar. One day I’m going to say goodbye to this shitty life and take off. Then my grandma and Larry won’t have me around to get money for them after they’ve spent all of their finances on drugs, whores, strip clubs—the list is endless.
I crack the door open and peer outside, checking that no one is around. Once I’m positive the coast is clear, I slip out the door and step outside underneath the starry night sky. The air is a bit chilly so I pull my leather jacket tighter around me before hurrying toward the dumpsters. Puddles splash underneath my clunky boots and the chains hooked to my black skinny jeans jingle as I quicken my pace to a jog. When I hear the sound of a voice, I jump behind the nearest dumpster and crouch down in the shadows. Then I hold my breath and freakin’ hope to hell I don’t get caught.
My heart is thudding in my chest as someone approaches the other side of the dumpster I’m hiding behind. Whoever they are, is taking loud, calculated steps. Seriously, what’re they doing? Auditioning for the marching band?
As the footsteps grow louder, my nerves double. What happens if they saw me sneak back here? What happens if I get caught? My grandma said not to back out no matter what and I rarely do, but how can I not back out if the drug dealer straight up figures out what I’m up to? Then again, he might kill me and then I won’t have to make the choice. Wouldn’t that be a way to go? Dying behind a dumpster, beside rotting garbage and what I’m pretty sure is a dead cat…