“No,” Calder said, and there was a deep mourning in his voice that was beyond even what I was feeling. “Maighdean Mara isn’t the killer. She didn’t leave the cave to fend for herself. She left the cave to die.”
“What killed her?” I asked.
“We all did,” Calder said, and tears welled in his eyes. “Neglect.”
“We need to put her back,” I said. “She belongs in the lake.”
I rolled her off the swim deck and into Calder’s arms. He returned her to her resting place while I climbed into the boat and retrieved Dr. Coyote’s pennies. I dropped them one by one into the water and watched as they chased Maighdean Mara all the way to the bottom.
34
DEFEAT
It was a quiet three hours back to Bayfield. There would be another attack, another body. What did it matter if it was someone I didn’t know? Whoever it was, it would be someone else’s best friend or neighbor, sister or brother. It was only a matter of time. All I knew for sure was that we were back to where we started, and I had run out of good options. There was no one left to blame.
My fingers rubbed nervously at the beach glass around my neck. It heated at my touch and gave me comfort. I’d wanted to ask Calder about it since our confrontation with Maris and Pavati on Oak Island, and even more so since he told me the story of Maighdean Mara’s three daughters, but I’d been afraid he might make me give the pendant back to Maris, and it was my last connection to Dad.
Still, now, in the silence, seemed as good a time as any for the inevitable. “What do you know about my pendant?”
Calder glanced down at it and furrowed his brow. He looked at the water in front of us and said, “I never saw it in real life until you and I were on our way back up here, but I’ve seen it plenty of times in Maris’s memories. It was our mother’s. She was a direct descendant of Maighdean Mara’s daughter, Namid. I don’t know how you came to have it.”
“I told you. It was a graduation present. Dad said Grandpa gave it to him, to give to me.”
“Yes, but how is it that Tom Hancock had it?”
I didn’t know the answer to that. “I think your mother is in the glass,” I said.
“She’s not in the glass. I know where she is.”
“I don’t mean literally, I mean … I think she’s with me, somehow. If I’m afraid, she calms me. She’s what drew me to the water … the day Maris attacked. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t help myself. She made me go in.”
“You think my mother set up an ambush?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying—if I had to guess—I think she’s glad we’re home. When she called me into the lake, I think she was calling me all the way home.”
Calder pulled me in front of him, wrapping his warm arms around me as he steered the boat. The early-evening air was clean and cool on my face.
“That’s how I feel when I’m with you,” he said. “All the way home. And I don’t want to give you back, either.”
I leaned against him, letting him support me. My lids grew heavy. Each time I opened my eyes, the sun seemed to have lunged farther across the sky. By the time we pulled into the marina, the light was fading to purple.
“Do you think Maris knew Maighdean Mara was dead?” I asked, breaking the silence as Calder finished tying the dock lines at the Pettits’ slip. “Do you think she was mad about me having the pendant and she was tormenting us with a big wild-goose chase?”
“I don’t think so,” he said grimly.
I looked at my fingers. My nails were lined in a dark, chalky substance. Traces of Maighdean Mara—a mystical creature reduced to gritty residue. “Neglect is a terrible thing,” I said, holding my hand out in front of me.
“Yes,” he said.
“It’s scary. None of us is meant to be alone. It was a mistake for you to leave your sisters.”
“No. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but that’s not one of them.”
“You said yourself you couldn’t make it on your own. That you just wandered aimlessly, and when you did search for something, you searched for family.”
“I have a new family now.”
“Mine? Look at us. Right now, the epitome of neglect. I’ve seen my dad once in the last three weeks, and that one time he was saying goodbye.”
“He’s around. You know he’s around. He’ll come home as soon as he can manage.”
“You’re missing my point.”
“What’s the point, Lily?” He reached for my hand and helped me step from the boat to the dock. We held hands as we walked slowly, defeatedly, back to the car.
“Your sisters are neglecting their natures, and they’re near death. Now Maighdean Mara”—I pulled my hand free and held it up before he could interrupt me—“I have no idea how great she once was, but now there is nothing left of her. Neglect, Calder. It’s a destructive thing.”
“Where’d you hear all that?”
“Father Hoole told me … that day you saw us talking … the day Jules and everyone showed up. But listen to what I’m saying. This senseless killing, it comes from somewhere. It comes from hurt. It comes from some great neglect.”
“We’ve all been neglected at some point. You can’t justify this, Lily.”
“Not justify. Explain. Crazy is crazy, but hurt comes from somewhere. What does that level of hurt look like to you?”
“Hurt so great you’d kill? That kind of negative energy would be impossible to look at. At least, not directly, and not without getting sick. I’d need to prepare … wear sunglasses or something. It would take some serious prep time.”
And that was all it took. In that moment, I knew. I knew who the killer was. And I knew where I needed to go. The only question was, did Sophie know what she was walking into?
“What day is it?” I asked.
Calder scrunched up his forehead. “Tuesday. I think. Why?”
“We need to find Pavati!”
He almost laughed. “Lily, I can’t find her just like that.” He snapped his fingers for emphasis.
“It won’t be hard this time. Jack told me back in the spring that he and Pavati used to meet on some flat rocks. Just south of town? I’d bet anything that’s where she is.”
“I know those rocks. They’re about a quarter mile past the fishing pier.”
“Thanks!”
“Thanks? Lily, what’s going on?” he called as I ran ahead of him, as fast as I could, across the lot to the car. I jumped in the driver’s seat and fished around under the mat for the key. The car started up on the second try, and I peeled out, leaving long black lines on the road and Calder looking frantic in my rearview mirror. People turned to watch as I sped down the county road. I pulled my cell phone out of the center console and saw three missed calls from Mom. I hit Send.
“Mom? Is Sophie home?”
“She said she was going for a walk. I was baking. Now I’m in the back painting, but I don’t think I’ve heard her come in. Are you driving? You know I don’t like you on your phone when you’re driving.”
I turned off my phone and tossed it in the backseat. How could I have been so stupid? I could now see how Pavati had worked it all out with Sophie two nights ago. Sophie was bringing Jack to Pavati so she could make good on her promise. But did Pavati know how truly dangerous Jack had become? Somehow I couldn’t believe Pavati would intentionally put Sophie in danger. I only hoped I wasn’t too late.
In less than two minutes I found Jack’s van pulled off the county road. I slammed on the brakes and turned sharply into the drive. The car behind me laid on the horn.
The dirt road ended abruptly after the spot where Jack had parked. I skidded to a stop, kicking up a cloud of dust that engulfed the car. I couldn’t believe Sophie would have got in a van with Jack Pettit, but every fiber of my being knew I was fooling myself.
The road narrowed to a footpath that twisted its way through the woods toward the lake. I raced down its length. With each footstep pounding the hard-packed ground, m
y muscles ached, my lungs burned. The wind pulled tears from my eyes. Please, no. Oh, please, no. She wouldn’t be so stupid.
I followed the path east, until I saw them.
For half a second, I forgot my fear. The beauty of the scene overtook my senses. I could see why Pavati and Jack had made this their place. A sentry of pine trees, their branches heavy and drooping with long, hair-like needles, shielded the spot from boats and errant hikers. Spiderwebs hung like wedding veils from the smaller trees, their silver threads shimmering with mist from the lake. The ground—a flat plate of brownstone—soaked up the heat of the sun and ran smoothly into the lake, barely six inches above the water level. Thick spongy patches of moss grew under the trees and made soft places to lay one’s head. The sky opened before me, the gray water deep and choppy beyond.
Where the brownstone met the water, two bodies stood at the edge. One tall, one small. The smaller figure leaned away from the other, her face turned away from the despair that only she could see.
“Jack, no,” I said, but neither of them flinched. Maybe I hadn’t actually spoken. Maybe the wind drove my voice back into the trees. By Jack’s feet was another chain and cinder block—just like the anchor he kept in his boat.
“What are you doing?” I said, this time louder. I searched the water for any heads breaking the surface, but there was no one out there.
Sophie twisted around to look at me, but Jack did not.
“The mermaids are dangerous,” Jack said, his voice eerily calm. “I need people to believe me.”
“The mermaids aren’t killing anyone,” I said, closing the gap between us.
“They have before,” he said. “They will again.”
“Tell me what you want. Just let Sophie go.”
Jack tightened his grip on her wrist, but Sophie said, “Stay away, Lily. Pavati needs to talk to Jack. I’m helping. I don’t need you.”
“I want the lake searched,” Jack said. “I want her found. I want her to suffer for what she’s done to me.” He reached down for the chain and turned to face me. His face was sunken, his skin red and splotchy. “She promised she’d come back.”
I took ten steps closer and Sophie said, “She did. And she’s here again. Under the water.” She pointed with her free arm down at the lake. I couldn’t see the spot because their bodies blocked my view. Was Sophie trying to distract him, or was Pavati really there, using the lake as a filter so she could better look at Jack?
“If Pavati promised you,” I said, holding my hands out, moving closer, “you know she’ll make good on that.”
“Then where is she?” His voice cracked, the pain cutting through as a dark head broke the waves. It was only a silhouette. I couldn’t tell who it was, but whoever it was, he or she was listening. I was sure of that.
“She couldn’t come before. You wouldn’t let her come,” said Sophie.
Jack jerked in surprise and let go of Sophie’s wrist. “I’ve begged her to come!” he said as I silently pleaded with Sophie to run, but she stayed by his side.
“You’ve been too angry. She can’t get close to you when you’re like that,” Sophie said, squinting at the ground. “Even now you’re making it hard. Please look. She’s there. She’s trying her best.”
He raised the chain toward Sophie’s neck while I ran toward them.
“Run, Sophie!” I slammed into Jack and shoved Sophie out of the way, but Jack lunged for me. One second later, I was in a choke hold, staring out at the lake.
“Let me go! This isn’t going to help.” Jack yanked me closer to the edge. I struggled and he tightened his grip. “Even if you convince someone the mermaids exist, even if they search the whole lake, what is catching Pavati going to do? You know she’ll end up dead in the end.”
“Good!” he said, spit flying past my face. “If I can’t be with her, no one can. Besides, we don’t belong with their kind. You don’t know how they mess with our minds. Not yet anyway. I’m doing you a favor. I’m putting you out of your misery.” He dragged me a few feet to the right and grabbed the length of chain from the ground.
“No, Jack. Don’t! Pavati. She’s there.” I was gasping. Tears distorted my vision.
“She wants to be with you,” Sophie said, pulling at Jack’s fingers around my arm. “She came. She just can’t get close to you when you’re like this. Calm down.”
“Shut up! Shut up! You’ve learned to lie too well.” He yanked my body, tossing me off balance. “I suppose he taught you how to do that.” The chain looped around my neck and shoulder. Sophie closed her eyes and pulled at his elbows, but he kicked her aside.
Jack shoved the cinder block into my arms and pushed me closer to the edge of the rock. I planted my feet and refused to move. I tried to sit down, but he was too strong.
“I never meant to kill anyone,” Jack said. “Connor was an accident. I kept him down too long. But then … at least that got people’s attention. For a while. Brady and Chief Eaton—they were easier. People can’t keep thinking it’s an accident forever! But no. You wouldn’t even side with me when I grabbed one of your own friends.”
“Your mind is clouded, Jack. Open your eyes. Open your eyes! Pavati’s there. Do you see her?”
“Shut up!” he yelled. “There’s no one down there.” I bent my knees, trying to anchor myself to the ground, but he grabbed me under the arms, lifting me off my feet.
For the first time I focused on the water, so clear I could see the bottom despite its great depth. Pavati stared up at me from the sand, through the rippling water, her eyes red with grief, her mouth open in silent disbelief at Jack’s confession.
“Pavati, do something,” Sophie yelled. “Now! It’s your only chance!”
But Pavati was frozen, an icy pillar beside the underwater cliff face. If Sophie’s invocation registered in Jack’s mind, he didn’t show it. If he saw the object of his desire in the water below, the damage was already done. My feet slipped, and I slid closer to the edge. There was no hope now. Had there ever been?
I squeezed my eyes tight and two large tears rolled down my cheeks. When I opened my eyes, it was just in time to see a blue angel burst from the waves, sailing through the air, arms outstretched. The most amazing sight, equal in both beauty and terror: Pavati arcing against the sky. She threw her arms around Jack as she rose over us, then turned, returning to the water with him, Jack’s face glowing with fervent obsession.
Somehow, in that balletic maneuver, I was knocked off balance. One second I was mesmerized by beauty; the next, the world tilted on its axis. It was just one
staggering
step, but
now
I
was
falling.
Adrenaline raced to my brain, setting it abuzz—the chain still wrapped around my neck, the cinder block heavy in my arms. Stupidly, I clung to it like a life preserver. Above me, Sophie was watching. She was always watching.
I counted the seconds until Calder would save me: One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi …
Jack, finally appreciating he was in the arms of his beloved, burst open with an enraptured light even I could see. I heard Pavati’s mental gasp and then, overcome by starvation, she spiraled him to the bottom of the lake, crushing him to her until he was no more.
Eight Mississippi.
Nine Mississippi.
Ten …
I cried out, and a torrent of icy water rushed my lungs, drowning out any oxygen I might have been able to preserve. The seconds stretched out between my heartbeats, which slowed, then stuttered.
Twenty Mississippi …
Sophie screamed, her voice piercing the water.
Twenty-three …
Twenty-four …
Twenty-five …
The voices of all my family, some merely imagined but others real and very close, called my name: Mom from the porch steps. Calder and Dad and Maris in the water. Pavati’s sated sigh. Sophie from the rocks.
A high keening burrow
ed like a dentist’s drill through my brain and out the top of my head. I called for someone—anyone—though no words escaped my lips. Instead, from my open mouth burst a light so brilliant the whole world burned white-hot. A ripple of spasms tore through my body and lifted me into the air, dropping me onto the rocks, gritty and wet and hard against my grasping fingers.
And then everything went black.
35
ACCIDENT
I drifted in and out of consciousness. Men were talking in mix-and-matched sentence fragments and non sequiturs. Some of the combinations made me laugh out loud, but laughing made me sound hysterical, and hysterics only increased the din of their concern.
“Explain this,” said the angriest voice.
“I didn’t do it,” said the saddest. “I didn’t do anything. I would never do this to her.”
“You weren’t trying to be a hero?”
“She didn’t need one. She was still alive.”
“Then what the hell is this supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never understood her.”
I arched my back and opened my eyes to a cloudless sky, patchy and blue through the tree branches. Skin pulled tight across my rib cage. I levitated. No, wait, someone was lifting me from a car. Gravel crunched under their feet as they carried me down a road.
“Careful, Lily. Be still. We’ve got you. You’re home.”
“Dad?” I croaked. “Where did you come from?”
“I’ve always been here. Now don’t talk.”
“Where’s Sophie?” My throat constricted, and the words came out like a rasp.
“I’m not speaking to you,” she said.
“Put me down. You don’t have to carry me.” I struggled in a net of arms, but Dad and Calder tightened their grip.
“Get in the house, Sophie. Tell your mom we’re coming,” Dad said.
My muscles seized, arching and twisting me in their arms. Pinwheels of light spun in my field of vision, and I squeezed my eyes so tight I feared they’d turn inside out. Blood filtered over my tongue as my teeth pierced my bottom lip.
“Let me go!” I cried, trying to break free of Dad’s grip, but I couldn’t feel my legs. For the first time, I was truly afraid. Did the chain break my neck? Am I paralyzed? Is this why they are carrying me? Me and Mom both in wheelchairs? It was too much to comprehend. “No!” I cried.