“Don’t be so dramatic. If you want new bedding when you leave for college, we can think about a bonfire then.”
College. Right. It was the furthest thing from my mind. I’d bought the obligatory U of M sweatshirt six months ago, as soon as I got my acceptance letter. That was about the extent of my planning.
I bent over and searched under the bed. Ah, the source of the stank. “Who left a tuna fish sandwich under my bed? Sophie?”
“Not me,” she yelled from her room. “I don’t like tuna fish.”
“That’s disgusting, Lily! Bring it down to the kitchen. I just finished scraping the dinner dishes. I’ll take the trash out.”
“No, I got it, Mom.” I carried the plate to the kitchen, dumped the sandwich in the trash, and sealed the bag, holding my breath the whole time.
“Well, there go my plans for tomorrow,” Mom said from the living room.
I dropped the plastic bag outside on the porch.
“What’s that?”
Mom put her phone on the coffee table. “Sophie’s Girl Scout leader just called to cancel our swim outing for tomorrow. Apparently they’re reporting more rip currents. Nearly drowned another kayaker. That’s two this week.”
I stared at her wordlessly. Two kayak accidents? How had I not heard that? Calder was probably just sparing me the guilt trip. If Maris was starting a binge already, it was my fault. If I’d done what I was told and stuck to the house … Or maybe Calder didn’t know. We hadn’t seen much of him or Dad since they started looking for Maris. Obviously they hadn’t found her yet.
“They’re sure it’s just rip currents?” I asked, working to keep my voice calm.
“Just? Isn’t that bad enough? I want you to tell your friends to stay off the water. What’s so funny? I’m serious.”
“If you haven’t noticed, Mom, I’m not exactly deep in friends here. Second, we live on a freakin’ lake.”
“Watch your language.”
“Gabrielle’s here,” Sophie yelled from upstairs.
“Did you know she was coming?” I asked Mom.
She shrugged. “Guess you’ve got a friend after all. Tell her to stay off the lake.”
Gabby knocked at the door by kicking it with her foot. I opened it for her, and she came in—arms loaded with a pink, plastic toolbox and an overflowing shopping bag. “Ready?” she asked.
“Ready for what?”
Gabby jerked her head in the direction of the stairs, and I followed her up to my room. She dropped her bag on my bedroom floor and turned. “Humor me. I need a serious distraction from my nightmare of a brother.”
“Yeah, but—”
“It’s Summer Tuesdays, which is cool by itself, but it’s your first real date with the hottest guy in town. I’m here to help.” Gabby went to my tiny closet and started digging.
“Who told you tha—?”
“You can’t wear just anything,” Gabby said, “and if I recall … yep, there’s nothing in here that’s going to work.” She didn’t mask her disgust. “God, where do you shop?”
“Minneapolis,” I said, “and I can guarantee you there are more options there than up here.”
“Duh. That’s my point. You lived in a shopping Mecca your whole life, and this is what you came up with? It looks like you raided the Goodwill bin.”
“Some of it,” I said with a shrug.
Gabby groaned. “Other people wore this stuff? Do you have any idea how many pounds of dead skin cells you’re dealing with?”
“It’s all been washed,” I said, ripping my army jacket out of her hands.
“And don’t get me going on other people’s sweat stains.”
“I only buy the good pieces.”
She ignored me. “Don’t worry. I’ll figure something out for you. If all else fails you can borrow something of mine.”
Now I was worried. I glanced at her shopping bag and noted several pieces of lace and Lycra. “I don’t know, Gabby. All those Pettit skin cells …”
“Shut up.” She dug deep into the back of the closet and popped open the cardboard box I kept there. “What’s this?” she asked.
“Vintage band tees,” I said. “I found them in the attic when we first moved here. They must have been my grandpa’s, because they’re all from the sixties and early seventies.”
She pulled one out and held it up to read. “Who’s Jefferson Airplane?” she asked. “Never mind.” She returned to the clothes on hangers. “Don’t you have anything sexy?”
“I can barely say that word out loud.”
“Are you kidding me? Do you know how many girls would kill to have curves like you? Not that I need help in that department … and your hair totally rocks. Okay, what about this?”
She pulled a cream-colored blouse out of the back. “It goes off the shoulder, right?”
“I wear it pulled up. With a scarf. What about a Santana T-shirt? Santana’s sexy.”
“Uh-uh. Not tonight. Tonight I’m dressing you.”
“I don’t know if Calder really likes the girly-girl kind of thing.”
“He’ll love it. At the very least, you’ll have everyone else’s attention. Nothing piques a guy’s interest like thinking he’s got competition.”
I rolled my eyes. “There’s no competition.”
“Of course there isn’t, but keep that to yourself. He doesn’t have to know. Do you have any other jewelry?”
“I’m not taking off my necklace,” I said. The beach-glass pendant was a permanent accessory by now. I couldn’t imagine being without it.
My phone vibrated on the bed, and I slid it open.
JULES: Whatcha doin?
LILY: Being tortured.
Gabby threw the silky blouse on the bed, then a few more odds and ends, followed by a pair of jeans from my bottom drawer. They were from last year and way too tight.
JULES: By Calder? Sounds fun.
LILY: I wish. What are you doing tonight?
“Come here,” Gabby said. “Let me do your makeup.” She yanked me off the bed toward the bathroom.
JULES: Promise not to be mad?
LILY: Why would I be mad?
Gabby closed my phone and tossed it on the bed.
“Hey! Why’d you—?”
“I demand your full attention,” she said. “How do you feel about red lipstick?”
“That I can do.”
By the time Gabby was done with me, my hair was teased and rumpled to look like I’d spent the last three days in bed. She dusted my bare shoulders with something shimmery called Roller Derby Princess. I pulled the neckline of my blouse up over my shoulders, and Gabby yanked it back down.
“It won’t kill you to show some skin,” Gabby said, whining a little.
“I’m worried about mosquitos.”
Gabby made a psssh sound and experimented with piling my hair up on top of my head, then stood back to appraise her work. “If you’re lucky, it won’t be just mosquitos biting you tonight.”
“Geez, Gabby!” I swung at her, and she ducked out of the way, letting my hair fall heavy on my back.
Tires crunched on the gravel driveway, turning both our attentions to the window.
“Looks like Calder’s got new wheels,” she said.
I went to the window to look. It was a 1980s brown sedan—about as nondescript as a car could be. It wasn’t going to get much attention around here even if someone was looking for it, which, knowing Calder, was doubtful. By now, the owner had probably forgotten he even had a car. Chances were he was touting the benefits of “going green” and telling his neighbor how much he enjoys walking everywhere. I guess Dad’s No Thievery rule was out the window. That, or Dad wasn’t going to be around enough to care.
“It’s a total shitmobile,” Gabby said, “but at least he’s fine. I can see his six pack right through his shirt, or is that twelve? And, seriously, that’s the most rock-solid ass I’ve ever—”
“Please don’t ogle my boyfriend.”
“Well.”
She dragged me toward the bedroom door as I dug in my heels, feeling completely ridiculous. “If you can’t appreciate what you’ve got, I’m happy to take over.”
“Stop pulling my arm,” I said. “I’m coming.”
“Fine. I’ll see you up at the barn. Oh, I almost forgot.” She pulled a faded quilt out of her bag. “You can use this. It’s my lucky blanket.”
“Ewww. I don’t think I want to know.”
“You can thank me later,” she said as she ran down the stairs. I heard her open the door and say, “Well, hell-o, Calder. Lily’s all ready for you.”
I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. When I came downstairs, my cheeks burning, Calder’s eyebrows rose to his hairline and his pupils dilated. He stuck out his hand and said, “Hello, gorgeous. My name is Calder White. I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced.”
I grabbed his elbow and dragged him across the porch. “You’re hilarious. Let’s go.”
13
FIGHT
We were some of the last to arrive at Oleson’s barn. I recognized a few faces from the party I’d gone to at the Pettits’ awhile back. I also saw the parish priest, Father Hoole, and a bit later, Mrs. Boyd, with whom I tried not to make eye contact. Jack made it to the movie, too, though he was clearly there against his will. He scowled at the ground and leaned against an outbuilding that looked as beaten down as he did.
Practically the whole town turned out. Multiple generations gathered together, talking, laughing, turning bratwursts on a grill. I tried to ignore the strange looks and turning heads or, when that failed, hoped they were gawking at Calder’s usual conversation-stopping good looks and not at me.
I smiled nervously at several mothers who were spreading out their family blankets, overlapping theirs with friends’ to create large, quilted continents. We’d have to act quickly to claim our territory; the center areas had already been staked out.
“Why are there so many little kids here?” I asked. “It’s an R-rated movie.”
“They’re just here for the ice cream,” said Calder. “They’ll all be asleep before it’s dark enough to start the movie. Okay, over here.” He towed me to an open patch of lawn in a circle of light cast by a floodlight that was mounted on a pole and swarmed by moths. The side of the barn was covered in king-sized white bedsheets, sewn together and stretched taut. I chewed my lip.
“Are you nervous being here with me?” Calder asked, taking Gabby’s quilt from my arms and laying it flat on the lawn. “It’s okay if you are,” he said. “I’m kind of nervous, too.”
“What are you nervous about?” I asked.
“Crowds give me a headache. If it wasn’t going to be dark soon I wouldn’t bother to come. Besides, don’t you feel like the whole world is looking at us?”
“Ugh. If they are, I hope they’re focused on you. I look ridiculous.”
“You are intoxicating.”
I blushed and buried my head in my hands. “It’s Gabby’s fault.”
“She did a good job,” he said, uncovering my face, “although I do miss your style.”
“Are you talking about the clothes, or am I not my normal color again?”
“Now that you mention it, both.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, particularly because he frowned when I mentioned the changes he saw in me. We sat in awkward silence for what seemed like hours. Alone, I could have told him almost anything, but I couldn’t put two words together when I felt so on display.
Thankfully, it wasn’t long before someone decided it was dark enough to start the movie and killed the outdoor lights. The town took their seats and obediently fell silent, with the exception of someone’s baby. The little kids were already sleeping. The air was thick with bug spray. The movie projector flickered, then projected the image of a young girl onto the side of the barn.
I watched as the girl made the rookie horror-movie mistake of separating herself from the group. She ran by a dark, weather-worn fence that looked strangely like the skeletal remains of a large fish. A boy chased her, and she teased, stripping off her clothes—piece by piece. I’m going swimming, she said. Normally, I’d make some crack about How stupid can you get? But considering my recent run-in with Maris, I was in no place to judge.
The girl swam naked out into the ocean, too far from shore, the da-dum music working its way into the audience’s collective psyche. I wished the girl could hear the music. Maybe she’d turn back.
Calder sighed. I glanced over to see if he was all right. His profile was a beautiful line that I wanted to run my finger along, letting it bump over his lips, which were slightly parted now. Maybe he would slip his hand behind me. He could lean in and kiss me. I imagined his hand going to my neck, and then my sigh as he lay me back on the lucky blanket, his weight pressing down on me, his knee between my legs. The crowd disappearing …
I bit down on my bottom lip and imagined its softness between his teeth.
But Calder paid no attention to me. He was focused on the swimming girl, watching her warily, holding his breath. The shark jerked her under. The audience screamed. The girl’s eyes grew wide. And then she was pulled again. She rang the bell on the buoy. A flash of the shark. And she was gone. The water stilled. The boyfriend lay passed out on the beach.
Calder groaned. “That’s so fake. A great white would never act like that. They’re normally very sweet.”
“I think I’d need more convincing,” I said. “Those are some seriously scary teeth.”
He slipped behind me, letting me recline against his chest, and pulled the neckline of my blouse up, over my shoulders. “Teeth are the least scary thing out there,” he said, wrapping his arms tight around my waist, squeezing a little to make a point. The strength in his arms was sure and comforting.
“Terrifying,” I said as I settled in.
Sitting in the dark made me feel brave and excited. I wanted to test the boundaries. I wished Calder would. He couldn’t have thought I would push him away if he tried. But neither of us moved.
Calder’s legs flanked mine, which tingled at the contact, all my cells fizzing like mist on a power line. At first I thought my toes were falling asleep, so I adjusted my position, and bright white sparks snapped in the small spaces between us.
I leaned to my left so I could see his face and found him staring at me with those eyes that nearly glowed and drew me closer, those eyes that scared me a little because of what they confessed of his heart.
“Stay still,” he warned. “Or maybe a little distance would be better. It’s harder to control the electrical impulses when you’re close.”
“No, this is good,” I said. “Please stay.”
He pulled back anyway and flipped over to lie on his stomach. I followed his example, lying alongside him, my head resting on my arms. He wove our hands together, and the tingling that had once been in my toes bounced between my fingers.
“Sorry,” he said. “I hope that doesn’t hurt you.”
I shrugged. I’d always heard about sparks flying between people. With us it was a literal thing, and I didn’t mind that one bit. I kissed Calder’s fingers and looked up at the screen. The colored shapes of people moving across the side of the barn were like the inside of a kaleidoscope. The dialogue sounded like the inside of a seashell. I didn’t know if I was just that tired or if it was too much of a strain on my eyes to watch the movie from that angle, but I soon drifted off, dreaming about a boat loaded with friends as a bloodthirsty monster circled us.
Someone screamed. My dream? Somewhere else? The monster threw one black arm over the stern and slunk over the rail, slipping like an enormous leech onto the floor of the boat. I jumped back while someone braver than me pushed the long hair from the monster’s face: My face. Pale and freckled. Another, more beautiful, face pressed close, saying my name.
“Lily?”
I woke with a gasp as the credits ran and the outdoor lights flicked on. I’d missed the end. Had the monster eaten everyone? Did the
hero kill the shark? Who was the hero again? Around me the whole town gathered up its lawn chairs and blankets, coolers and bug spray.
“It’s over,” Calder said. “You were really quiet. Did you fall asleep?”
“No,” I said unconvincingly. “It was great.”
“Definitely an unfortunate choice. A movie like that could really hurt tourism.”
Before I could respond to his joke, a cacophony of young, male voices erupted from behind the Porta-Potties. Calder glanced over and grimaced. “Oh! Oh, man. Come on. Let’s go.” He jumped to his feet and yanked at the corner of the blanket.
“What is it?” I asked, getting to my knees. I toppled over as he pulled the blanket out from under me.
“I got to get out of here,” he said. “Are you coming with me?” He grabbed my hand and pulled me up so fast my feet left the ground.
“Of course I’m going with you. What’s the hurry? What’s going on?” My mind was still groggy from my dream, and the ground seemed to shift and sway under my feet.
“Jack.” Calder pulled desperately at my arm, dragging me toward the car. He practically threw me into the passenger seat.
I turned around to look out the back window. I could see Jack. A group of guys I didn’t recognize surrounded him in a circle. One guy pushed Jack, and he staggered backward into the arms of another, who shoved him again. Jack spun around and threw the first punch. And then everyone was yelling and piling on top of Jack, who disappeared into the scrum. A couple of men came running up and pulled the pile apart.
“What’s going on?” I demanded of Calder. “What are they saying?”
Calder threw the car in reverse and peeled out of the gravel parking lot.
“That Pettit kid is getting on my last nerve,” he said through his teeth, his back hunched over the steering wheel. Despite everything Jack had done, that didn’t seem fair. He was the one getting his ass kicked.
Calder was still ranting. “He can’t keep his mouth shut. He’s going to start naming names. With me making such a public appearance, guess whose name will come up first.”
“No way,” I said, wondering what he’d heard that I’d missed. “Jack’s messed up, but he’s not sadistic.”