At some point, I just became too tired to move my arms anymore. I wasn’t even sure if they’d been working for or against me in the first place. My legs were the next to go. Everything was fading in and out and I was struck with the realization that this was the way Shaw Matthews was going to die. I’d survived Seven Mile and a life in which the odds had been stacked against me only to succumb to a force that could not be stopped.
I could be beaten. And I was.
Releasing the breath I’d been holding, I gave up and just let go. It was odd how peaceful the ocean felt beneath the tumultuous surface. It would be a fine resting place for my remains. And I could’ve sworn it cradled me as my body sank.
Casey
I should have let him drown. I really should have. I thought about it, even thought about the explanation I’d give Cassidy and the authorities.
“Oopsie! He fell overboard and there was simply no way to get to him. Tragic loss,” I would’ve said, while hanging my head and pretending to feel bad about my inability to rescue him.
But I was the hero, dammit. Always had been. At least that was the way Cassidy had seen me. And the one thing I never had been and never would be able to stand was knowing I’d disappointed her.
Sometimes it really sucked to have to be the bigger man.
Putting my own life at risk, I jumped into the frigid abyss and swam to the last spot where I’d seen Shaw. It wasn’t easy either. The elements worked against me, but I was a seasoned sailor and, therefore, one hell of a swimmer. Not to mention strong. Diving deep, I caught a glimpse of the bright yellow raincoat that had been way too big for him in the first place. With any luck, it would still be on his body because no, I couldn’t see shit else.
By the time I got to him, he wasn’t moving. Pale skin and blue lips, he looked for all the world like a lifeless corpse floating in a laboratory tank. I really didn’t know if there would be any bringing him back, but if nothing else, I could at least make sure he wasn’t lost at sea.
Grabbing his outstretched hand, I made my way toward the surface with his body in tow. Jesus, my lungs burned with the need to take a breath. The light from Duff’s boat penetrated the darkness like the light at the end of the tunnel. Fat lot of good it would do for us both to die here. And damn, all I could think about was how devastated Cassidy would be to lose us both at the same time.
Summoning all my strength, and it took a lot with Shaw’s deadweight, I made like a porpoise and jumped out of the water with a huge gasp for air. The waves had gotten even bigger, something I had to be wary of while hooking an arm under Shaw’s chin to keep his head out of the water. Not that it mattered by then. As far as I could tell, the guy wasn’t breathing.
Duff was already hanging half off the side, prepared to lift him on board, and that sucked like a motherfucker because what if he got tossed into a watery grave like Shaw and I had? The old man was a sea dog, though, so he was good to go.
“Is he alive?” Duff called over the howling wind and rain.
“I don’t think so,” I told him.
Once I reached the boat, I grabbed the rope ladder Duff had thrown over and yanked Shaw within his reach. I helped as much as I could, but that wasn’t saying a lot considering all the energy I’d expelled just getting him to that point. When Duff nearly took a tumble, I got a sudden jolt of adrenaline and lifted Shaw up, shoving him over the port side.
By the time I got myself out of the water, Duff was already getting down with the resuscitation. “Goddammit! He doesn’t have a pulse!” he yelled.
I let him have his way with the mouth-to-mouth because no way was I kissing the asshole, but I did rip open that jacket to take over the chest compressions. Thirty quick pumps later and Duff checked for a pulse again. Nothing.
“Keep going!” he said, abandoning his post and heading toward the helm.
Shit. I kept working on the compressions. “What are you doing? He’s still not breathing,” I said.
“I’m getting us the hell out of here and back home. Now save his goddamn life!”
The motor kicked into high gear, feeling more like a surfboard riding a wave as Duff got us under way. I did my best to keep Shaw in place while still trying to bring the son of a bitch back around. Swallowing down my pride, I pinched his nose shut and put my mouth over his, pushing air into his stubborn lungs. Fuck it. Only the two of us would ever know my lips had touched his. Even if Shaw pulled through, he’d not remember it, and I’d take it to my grave.
Leaning down, I put my ear to his mouth to listen for a breath, but I couldn’t hear jack shit over the wind, the sloshing waves, and the engine. I searched for a pulse, but my fucking hands were frozen, my whole body was frozen and probably on the verge of hypothermia, so I couldn’t feel a thing.
I went for thirty more chest compressions and then finally, Shaw went into a coughing seizure, expelling seawater from his lungs. The poor bastard’s throat was going to hurt like hell for a few days after that. His eyes popped open in a panic, and for a second I saw his fear. Not wanting to have gone through all of that just to watch him choke to death, I rolled the guy onto his side and let him get it all out. Within a few minutes, he was holding himself up with a palm to the deck, still coughing, but very much alive. I clapped him real good between the shoulder blades, only to help him out – kind of, sort of – and then backed up to give him some room.
Shaw tilted his head and gave me an evil glare.
“What? No thanks for saving your life?”
“My… mistake,” he said, trying to catch his breath. “Thanks for the sucker punch and knocking me overboard to begin with, asshole.”
I simply grinned. “You’re welcome.”
I should’ve let him drown.
The engine began to back down and I got to my feet, seeing the pier coming closer and closer. Also coming closer were my mother, Mia, and Cassidy. Of course. They were sprinting toward us with panicked and worried faces. I’d never seen my mother run so fast. I’d never seen her run at all, in fact. But I had seen that fear in Cassidy’s eyes before.
It was a really long time ago. She and I had just stepped out into the parking lot of a store when those thug wannabes, Jeremy and Kennedy – what kind of thug name was Kennedy, anyway – had pulled a gun on me because of some beef they’d had over fishing territory. They’d ventured too far into my family’s, so I’d cut their lines. Fuck ’em. And fuck their pussy-ass gun. Said pussy-ass gun had gone off during the scuffle that had followed, and the bullet found a temporary home in my shoulder. Even wounded, I’d taught those boys a lesson they’d never forget. You didn’t mess with legacies. Legacies were some crazy bastards.
But what had once been a look of fear at the thought of losing me was now directed elsewhere. Cassidy was damn near in tears, hyperventilating when she saw Shaw.
“Oh, my God! Move out of my way!” she shouted to the dockworkers scrambling to get our mooring in place.
When Cassidy got into position to climb onto the boat, Duff put a stop to it. “We don’t need to be dragging your butt out of the water, too. You just stay right where you are.”
“What? Who fell overboard? Shaw! Are you okay? Somebody call nine-one-one!”
Yeah, thanks for your concern, Cass. I’m fine, too.
“No! Do not call nine-one-one!” Shaw shouted back. “I’m all right.”
“You do not look all right. Da, we need to —”
Duff cut her and the engine off. “No, he’s right. Doesn’t make any sense to anyway. It would take them too long to get here, especially with the hurricane barreling down on us like she is. We need to get to the house. Now.”
Duff and I waited until Shaw was off the boat, Cassidy and my own mother lending a hand, before we followed. The dockhands took orders from Duff to secure his vessel to safely ride out the storm, while I watched the mother and girlfriend thief being escorted back to the Whalen House for, I assume, some much-needed TLC.
Mia remained behind with me, trying to appear
calm, cool, and collected even though her eyes told a different story. That was what I liked so much about Mia. Her eyes were stunning on their own, but add to that the truth they spoke, and I never had to wonder what was on her mind.
Mia was shivering, her arms crossed over her chest for what little warmth she could get from them. Standing there, drenched by the pouring rain, her beautiful hair dripping wet and clinging to her face, and her voice so meek when she said, “Casey? Are you okay?”
Finally, someone showed a little bit of compassion and concern for the unsung hero.
I did something then that I hadn’t planned. Ever the protector, this time for a different woman, I put my arm around Mia and pulled her into my side. I didn’t have much warmth to offer either, but she could have it all. “I’m good. Let’s get you somewhere safe.”
CHAPTER 12
Cassidy
I’d been pacing the house, going from one window to the next, waiting and watching for any sign of Da’s boat. Hurricane Ayla had really gotten her bitch on, upgrading to Category 2 in record time. Abby and Thomas had come over to ride out the storm with us because our families always did everything together, and if we were all going to die, we were going to do that together as well.
I wanted to yell at Thomas for not being the one to go help my father and his son, but I got it. He’d been securing their home before they left it and couldn’t have helped them even if he’d wanted to. Which I was sure he probably did.
Ma and Abby had done most of the work in the kitchen, shooing me away because I was apparently making them nervous wrecks with all my worrying. Mia got to stay, though, because she was “so eager to learn” and “such a joy to have around.” I might have given her a dirty look or two on my way out. I didn’t need to learn how to cook. I might have spent a lot of time in my early years down by the dock, but when I wasn’t there, you’d better believe I was in the kitchen with Ma. She’d insisted.
Whatever. I was glad to have the time to stalk the harbor, even if only from the living room window.
The sky was dark and getting darker with each passing second, and the first of the rain bands had already come to shore. But the worst of the worst was the wind. My imagination had gotten well away with me as I kept picturing all these scenarios where the boat had capsized or had been broken in half and was bobbing around in the ocean like the Titanic before it sank. And the water… The Gulf of Maine was absolutely frigid in the spring. I didn’t care how unseasonably warm the weatherman said it was, it wouldn’t have had that much effect on the water.
Relief flooded me, much like the streets of West Main Street, when I finally caught a glimpse of Da’s boat. The closer it got, the more convinced I was that something was wrong. I ran up to the crow’s nest, ignoring Ma when she yelled after me to slow down before I fell down the steps, just like she always had when I was a child. Once I got to the top, I went for the binoculars and saw for myself that I was right. Shaw was down on the deck with Casey hovering over him. Without a second thought, I dropped the binoculars and ran back down the stairs.
But Abby was blocking the way once I got to the ground floor. “Where do you think you’re going? There’s a hurricane out there, or have you forgotten?”
“Sorry, Abbs.” I moved past her and wrenched open the door. “You can yell at me later, but they’re out there, and something is wrong.”
“Something’s wrong?” I hadn’t meant to panic her, but I didn’t exactly have time to offer her reassurances that I didn’t have, either. “I’m going with you.”
“Me, too,” Mia said, popping out of the kitchen where she’d obviously been eavesdropping.
I paid no more attention to it. I didn’t give a crap about her at the moment. And I knew I should’ve stopped to convince Abby to stay inside, but all I could think about was getting to Shaw. So I ran. As fast as my legs could carry me, jumping puddles and juking obstacles along the way like a wide receiver gone pro. I paid no attention to the rain, didn’t give the wind a second thought. My focus was trained on the end zone, which just happened to be Da’s boat and the men inside. One man in particular.
My heart fell into my stomach once I reached the boat and saw how pale Shaw was. The color of his lips didn’t look normal, he was shivering, there was a gash on his forehead, and his jaw looked slightly swollen.
I tried to get to him, but Da wasn’t having it. And there was also no convincing any of them to call an ambulance, though my father did have a point about that. I was just grateful that everyone was alive and breathing and back home where they belonged. And all I wanted to do was get Shaw back to the house so I could see for myself that he really was okay.
Mama bear, Abby, was all over that, though. She helped me get Shaw back up to the house, while along the way, Shaw ignored questioning by both Abby and me about what had happened out there.
“Nothing. I’ll explain it later,” he said as if it was no big deal. It was a very big deal. “I’m freezing and I just want to get inside.”
Da had managed to catch up, most likely due to the slower pace we had to keep for Shaw’s sake. He climbed the ramp to the porch where Thomas was already busy closing up the Whalen House. I went ahead to hold the door open for Abby and Shaw, but before I could follow them inside, my father stopped me.
“Cass, start securing those windows,” he said, nodding toward the other end of the house.
“But Da, Shaw —” I began, though I should’ve known he’d cut me off.
“Will be just fine. Abby’s got him. We’re running out of time. Go on now, do as I said.” He used the tone that indicated he meant business.
“Wait, where’s Ma?” I asked Thomas.
Thomas snapped a shutter closed and punched the sliding bolt in place with the palm of his hand. “She’s doing what she does best, wringing her hands and worrying herself to death while staying plastered to the news and giving a minute-by-minute update on the weather as if we don’t already know it’s a shit storm.”
And there was just one more person unaccounted for that I had to worry about. Though by the look of things, maybe I didn’t need to worry about him at all. Casey and Mia came up the ramp, Mia snuggled in close to Casey’s side. It sure as hell didn’t look like she was trying to hold him up, either. That was definitely a snuggle. Maybe I’d been wrong. Maybe romance novelist Mia Morgan was going to get her cuddle under a blanket in front of a fireplace with my Casey, after all.
I slammed a shutter closed as well, giving the two of them the evil eye as they stepped onto the porch. Casey noticed and suddenly pulled away from Mia, the look on his face apologetic. He should be sorry. Not for Mia, but for Shaw. Because I’d bet my bottom dollar that he’d somehow been responsible for all his injuries. So when he rushed over to help me with the shutter, I stiff-armed him.
“I’ve got it.”
Casey pulled up short, no doubt shocked that I wouldn’t let him play my hero this time. “Let me help you, Cass.”
“I said I’ve got it. Just take your little friend inside.” That one looked like it hit home. For both Casey and Mia. I wasn’t sorry. “I’ll deal with you in a bit.”
He put his hands up in surrender and slowly backed away. “Fine. Have it your way.”
“I always do,” I mumbled, getting back to work.
I’d forgotten how many windows were on our house. Though I don’t know how I could’ve possibly forgotten since cleaning them had always been one of my monthly chores while growing up. It was fine. I needed the time to calm down, but I wasn’t going to get that time because Da couldn’t stand to see his little girl out in all the weather and had sent me inside. I bolted at the chance, anxious to see how Shaw was doing and find out what in the world had happened in the first place.
He was in mid-conversation with Abby when I walked in, already stripped of his wet clothes and wrapped like a burrito in a heavy-duty thermal blanket. I didn’t want to interrupt, so I was careful to hover just outside the doorway to do a little eavesdropping of
my own.
“I know it wasn’t any of my business, but that look Cassidy had on her face while she was watching him with another woman at the picnic… He really hurt her. Whether she’d admit it or not.”
“And she probably wouldn’t,” Abby agreed.
“I don’t know why it bothered me so much. It just did.”
“Well, maybe you like our Cassidy a little more than you thought.” Abby soaked a cotton ball in alcohol.
“Honestly, I’ve always liked her. Admired her even. She’s smart, funny, and beautiful.” He suddenly went quiet as if he’d just realized he’d said too much. “If she knew I said that, she’d find some way to use it against me.”