“I will see you in three days, old friend.” Rector raises his arm and points. But his finger doesn’t lead to Kraven.
It points directly at me.
I stretch my wings far above my head and my chest swells. I’ll be ready for you.
Over my shoulder, Valery whispers to Charlie, soothing her worries. I turn to Charlie to assure her that Red is right, that everything will be okay.
My heart stops.
A chill rushes down my body.
Valery’s arms are wrapped around Charlie’s body, pinning my girlfriend’s own arms against her sides. A black hole appears before Valery’s feet as she whispers a language she shouldn’t know. A language I shouldn’t know.
“Nobody move,” Kraven says.
Rector laughs from the other side of the room, a sound of steel and flames. “Perfect timing, dove!”
“Valery, how could—?” Kraven starts, his words brimming with surprise. He finds his center quickly. “Don’t do this, Valery. If you do this, they’ve won. Remember the promise you made. Remember the vow you took.”
Valery shakes her head and her eyes redden, but no tears escape. “He’ll never let us be together,” she explains, her gaze on Max. “I don’t care what side I’m on anymore as long as it’s with you.”
My body contracts so hard that I can’t find my breath, I can’t think beyond seeing Charlie thrashing against Valery. She’s too small, and her hands are useless at her sides.
“Valery,” I force out, inching toward her, afraid to make any sudden movements. “Please!”
Valery closes her eyes and she says in a whisper, “Forgive me.”
Then she steps forward with my angel and the two drop out of sight.
INFERNO
“Through me is the way into the doleful city; through me the way into the eternal pain; through me the way among the people lost.”
—Dante’s Inferno
37
We All Fall Down
The cry that rips from my throat sounds as though it’s coming from somebody else. I stumble toward the hole as it closes and tear at it with my fingernails.
“Charlie,” I roar. “Charlie!”
As the floor cinches shut, I fight harder. I try to pull the floorboards apart and keep the hole from closing. It’s no use. Blood streaks the tired wood. It must be mine. I scream for her and inside my beating heart, a river of sorrow sings like a siren. I can’t see. I’m blind. No, I’m crying.
“Charlie!”
I grab the first person I see—Max. I shake him hard and tell him to bring her back, but he’s broken like me, yelling for a woman who deceived us all. I turn to Paine, but he has nothing to give, nothing to say. I see Kraven. I see Blue. I see Lincoln. All are scrambling, barking orders, or reaching for me like they can help. They can do nothing. Nothing!
“Bring her back!” I yell. “Where is she?”
Then I see him.
I see him and I know I am unstoppable. My legs power across the room and my wings carry me faster than any human could travel. I collide into Rector like a wrecking ball and the two of us smash against the east wall of the great room.
My hands find his throat and, sweet relief, the terror on his face eases my pain.
“Be afraid!” I roar.
Rector’s eyeballs bulge with fear, or maybe from lack of oxygen. I don’t know which it is and I don’t care. I squeeze tighter and pummel him into the wall time and again. The cracking of his skull is the sound of angels singing, the blood that runs down his face their tears of joy.
“Be afraid,” I whisper.
Kraven’s voice rings through the room. “Neco, no!”
No other name could’ve made me stop in that moment. No name but Neco’s.
My head spins around just in time to see Neco tackling a siren that was moments from driving a blade into my back. That same knife finds its way into Neco’s belly. The siren jerks the blade up and opens Neco like a fish. His insides pour over the siren in a sloshing shower of cranberry red.
I tear away from Rector and grab Neco’s shoulders. The siren scrambles out from beneath his body as I drag the liberator toward our people. I don’t why I do this. It seems right. Rector rushes into the hallway, the sirens close on his heel. No doubt there’s a vultrip not far from here that Valery whispered open while the rest of us danced, ignorant to her muted words.
My wings slide into my body and then Kraven is there, taking Neco from me and laying him down. He’s dead. He’s so obviously dead. But that’s okay; he’ll heal once his dargon kicks in. Perhaps new organs will grow, but I don’t want him to be out for longer than necessary. Not after what he did for me.
I grab slick red pieces of him and put them back inside his body.
“Dante, stop,” Kraven says quietly.
“It’s okay,” I tell him. “He’ll heal faster this way.”
Kraven grabs onto my arm. “Stop doing that.”
I yank away and try to close the gabbing wound that extends from Neco’s chest to his pelvis. “Look, he’s barely even bleeding anymore,” I say too loudly. Why is my voice so loud? Where is Charlie?
I close Neco’s eyes. Their blank stare causes a wave of nausea to roll over me, but that’s ridiculous because he’ll be back, so nothing to worry about.
“Dante.” Kraven speaks my name differently this time. I don’t like the way he says it.
I grind my teeth. “Don’t.”
“Neco isn’t coming back,” he says. “He’s finished his duty as a liberator.”
My hands curl into fists over Neco’s body. I shake my head. He’ll come back. That’s what we do. We come back.
Kraven motions to Lincoln and when I see what the jackrabbit hands him, I almost lose my mind. Kraven slides down to Neco’s ankle, his blood-splattered white wings folded behind him. He raises the knife.
“What are you doing?” I yell.
He brings the blade down at a right angle, like he’s done this too many times to count. The dargon severs, and from there Kraven pulls it away easily enough. He stands, the dargon clutched in his right hand. “Neco’s gone now. But don’t mourn him.”
He’s right, I think. Neco is probably inside the heavens already. So why is the feel of his blood on my hands so sickening? Because Neco felt the pain that killed him? Because maybe he didn’t know he wouldn’t return? Because he died to save my life?
The humans are huddled together. Many are crying, but others appear strengthened by the battle. Blue stands a few feet away, his eyes on the ground.
“Blue,” I say. “Where’s Charlie?”
I don’t know why I say it. I know where she is. I watched as she disappeared into the floor. When I glance back at Neco’s mangled corpse, I realize my mind has focused on his death to avoid a more unimaginable truth—Charlie is gone.
“Dante,” Kraven touches my shoulder.
“Get off me!” I yell. “What are you going to do? Are we going for her?”
Kraven remains silent. “I won’t wait here while she sits down there. I waited with Aspen. I trusted you, and now she—”
“She what?” Blue asks.
“We have to go for her, Kraven,” I say. “We have to go right now. I am going right now. Are you coming with me?”
“You will not go.” Kraven speaks each word like a bullet. “We will pack our belongings, and we will leave for the battlefield. They’ll do the same. We’ll combat them as it was foretold, and then we’ll take back the savior and soldier.” Kraven gazes around the room. “It’ll require all of us to be triumphant.”
My muscles clench in actual pain. My body feels the same way I did when I was mortal and had the flu—aching body, dizziness, fever. I can’t live without Charlie. I told her I’d protect her, and now she’s gone. And I can’t go on without her.
I decide then that maybe I won’t. Maybe this is the moment that I kiss my mind goodbye. There was a piece of me, a quiet place Charlie had unbolted in my heart that spoke of forgiveness and compa
ssion. But now, only darkness swims through my blood. It opens its arms in a morning stretch and swallows the goodness. It’s amazing how easy it is to tap my rage, to let it consume my every thought. I will not mourn Valery’s betrayal. I will not cry for my fallen angel.
I will only seek vengeance.
38
Speak
Oswald comes to my room after I storm from the battle scene. I’m throwing clothing and boots and bottles of water into a bag. I have no idea what I’ll need for this war so I just shove everything in with a nervous gut-wrenching energy.
“You need to see something,” Oswald says from the doorway.
I continue packing.
“You’re upset,” the old man notes. “But you do need to see this. Kraven asked me to show you.”
Oswald moves aside and motions for someone to step inside. I recognize the guy immediately. It’s the siren that almost killed me, the one Charlie blocked with her blue electricity. His face is thin and he has dark, thin eyebrows that rise in a question. It’s a face I’ll never forget.
I expect to experience fury at seeing him here. But instead, I’m delighted. Oswald has delivered me an outlet for my anger, one I will take my time enjoying.
I smile. “I’m going to kill you.”
Of all the things I expect him to say back, it isn’t this: “I’m so deeply sorry.”
The guy hangs his head and black hair tickles his forehead. He weeps and my nose turns up at the sound.
“What’s he doing?” I ask Oswald.
The old man touches the siren’s back in comfort. “He’s grieving the things he’s done.”
“Bullshit. That guy’s as sorry as a pothead in county jail.”
The siren raises his head. He has small lines around his brown eyes that tell me he’s older than I am. “She changed me.”
This gets my attention. “What?”
Oswald nods to the siren, encouraging him to continue. “That girl who…who shocked me, she changed me. I felt like I had this emptiness inside from the things I’d done, but then it was gone. I feel different.” The guy offers a sad smile. “I feel happy.”
I narrow my eyes at this sorry excuse of a man. Lies. All of it—lies. “I don’t have time for this.”
“Look at his soul light,” Oswald says gently.
But I don’t want to. I know what he’s implying and I don’t give a crap. I wouldn’t forgive this guy if he rid the world of loud talkers and felines.
“Please, Dante,” Oswald implores. “Just look.”
“Jaysus.” I spin around and flip on the dude’s soul light. Yep, it’s as powdery clean as a newborn’s asshole. “He has no sin seals. That’s great. He still tried to kill me. He still helped take Charlie away.”
Speaking her name hurts.
Though I’m going for indifference, I’m stunned by what I see. I’ve witnessed sin seals dissolving beneath liberator seals. But Kraven told me sirens didn’t have souls; that they forfeited them when they agreed to work for the collectors. Though what I’m beholding contradicts that statement. It’s almost as if Charlie resuscitated this guy. If before his soul was in the hands of hell, now it’s back inside of him, glowing like a beacon of hope.
“Get out of my sight,” I tell the siren.
Oswald motions to the sitting area and the siren strides past him and out of my room. The old man closes the door until it’s just the two of us.
“You gonna leave that guy out there by himself?” I snap. “He’s probably already run for it.”
Oswald folds his thin arms over his robe. There’s a bluish-green bruise over his left elbow that looks like the state of Florida. “She’s changed him, Dante.”
“So? He’ll just screw up again,” I say. “He’s like a fat ass after liposuction. It’s just a fresh opportunity to wreck that shit.”
“I don’t think so,” Oswald mutters. “Kraven says we’re to meet at the front of the Hive.”
“What about the siren?” I say.
“I’ll leave him to you.” Oswald scoots out of my room even as I call for him to get his skinny rear back here.
Then he’s gone. And I’m staring at the siren who’s trying his damnedest to avoid eye contact. “You think you’re redeemed?” My lip curls in disgust. “You’re no different than you were an hour ago, fart stain.” I step closer to him. “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do for you. I’m going to keep you around so that when we get to the final battlefield, I can kick things off with a human sacrifice and decorate my warrior face in your blood.”
The dude doesn’t respond, which must mean he has a brain.
“For now, you’ll be my bag boy.” I shove my bundle into his chest and he jerks back from the impact. “Get up. I need to fetch the weapon I’m going to kill you with.”
“I’m sorry about Charlie,” he whispers. “I was confused.”
I close my eyes and breathe through my nose. I try to count backward, and to think of a freshly pressed Armani vest, and to visualize Charlie’s face—anything that will help me calm down. But nothing helps. My eyes snap open and I throw my fist into the siren’s face. It’s a blow I feel clear to my shoulder. It feels like Christmas morning. It feels like the first time I heard Charlie laugh.
“Don’t say her name. The next time you do, I’ll cut your tongue out.” I roll my shoulders back, a sense of satisfaction settling over me. “Now, let’s go get that weapon, shall we?”
Fifteen minutes later, I’m at the front of the Hive with the siren and a few blades of glory rearing to do some killin’. When Paine comes into view, I notice he has tightly rolled packs loaded onto his back.
“What are those?” I ask.
He twitches when I address him the same way others have since Charlie was taken. They all believe I’m off the handle.
I am.
Lade-fucking-da.
“Tents.” He shifts the weight of them. “Kraven says it’ll take a day of travel to get there.” Paine notices the siren standing next to me, his bound hands. “Isn’t that—?”
“A siren? Yeah. His name is Fart Stain, and I’d appreciate it if you used it.”
Paine chances a smile. It disappears when Max enters the holding area inside the Hive’s entrance. He’s carrying jackets and blankets and looks like a cancer patient, like he’s about to call off the whole radiation thing and demand a banana split, dammit.
I don’t offer him condolences. I’m not sure why. Maybe because I lost someone, too. And maybe, if I’m being honest, it’s because I have a hard time believing he didn’t suspect what Valery was up to. Even if he didn’t, maybe he should have.
Thinking about Valery infuriates me. Perhaps I should understand her reasons for betrayal, because there’s little I wouldn’t do to be with Charlie, but somehow I can’t forgive her. She was always the perfect student, always the star pupil. It’s no wonder she discovered the dead language. And it doesn’t surprise me that she taught herself enough to damage our plight. I don’t believe she wanted to harm us. Even the fire she started in the library must have been done when she thought the room was empty. It doesn’t matter though.
I still hate her.
How quickly I can go from like to detestation. My ability to embrace hostile emotions knows no bounds. As I’m dwelling on this, my mind whispers Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. It never stops. From the moment she vanished, my brain began echoing her name. It’s like a ringing in your ear you can’t escape; it’s ever present and all-consuming.
Charlie.
“We need to leave,” I bark. “Where’s Kraven? Where are the humans? The jackrabbits? What’s taking so long?”
“They’re preparing,” a new voice says. It’s the sound of rustling leaves in the treetops, soothing and tender.
I spin around and find the Quiet Ones studying me. They stand shoulder to shoulder, hair tied back in ponytails. The younger one, the one not much younger than me, is the one who spoke. I know this on instinct.
“They took our weapons,”
she says. “They took the one we swore to serve.” The girl squeezes her hands together and I notice her eyes are red-rimmed and puffy. She and her sister are holding clear tote bags harboring hand shovels. “We won’t be silent any longer. We will fight alongside you.”
My heart picks up at this new turn of events, but each time it beats with vigor, pain courses through my limbs. I’m here to remind you she’s gone it seems to say.
“I don’t suppose the two of you have any hidden abilities like the old dude,” I question.
The girl’s head turns toward the woman next to her. They regard each other silently, and then the younger of the two offers a shy smile. “We can do some things.”
The sound of footsteps approaching seizes my attention. Kraven strides toward our group, Annabelle, Blue, and Oswald at his side. Oswald is busy tucking something into his pocket. It looks like a glasses case. I didn’t know the old dude wore spectacles, but it doesn’t surprise me.
Behind them are the jackrabbits, loaded down with the remaining weapons. Lincoln is sniffing the air for some unknown reason, and the humans are following behind the jackrabbits, all squared shoulders and grit.
The mass of bodies comes to a stop.
Kraven hands me a bag to carry. When I zip it open I see several dozen thin metallic tubes shaped like straws. I have no idea what purpose they’ll serve, but I pull the bag onto my back anyway.
“We’ll walk to Widow’s Nest and stop early evening tomorrow,” Kraven announces. “It’s a long journey, and what lies beyond it is war and suffering. If you walk out this door now, you are bound to this cause. Anyone may choose to stay behind.” At this he shoots a pointed look at Annabelle. “But if you do, there will be no one to protect you should the collectors or sirens return to scavenge our home.”
Kraven scans our group, inspecting our faces for any sign of hesitancy.