The feeling that overflowed in my chest was euphoric, but tinged with shame. I did not feel good enough for him and it was frustrating. It was like I wore big boots, but my feet were pitifully small, and no matter how hard I tried to run in them without tripping over they were simply too big for me. Tears trickled down the side of my nose. Why was I not brave, honest, and selfless? Maybe there was something broken inside making me selfish and devious.
Breandan dropped to his knees, taking my head in his hands. Disgruntled I tried to pull away, but he held fast and sighed, brushed my tears away. “I do not like to see you cry. Be calm, Rae-love, we will be together. We are together. Alright?”
“I don’t feel like–”
Eyes turning from pained to scary alert his head snapped to the side and he peered across the plain. Seeing nothing in the solid dark I started again, needing to confess everything, how I felt about him.
“Breandan, I–”
“Silence.” He placed a finger to my lips and closed his eyes. He nodded, satisfied. “We are in a shield. We cannot be seen as long as we stay still.” I peered into the gloom wondering what he hid us from. “A demon is close,” he said into my ear as I curled against his chest.
Breathing in deeply I extended myself. Since I had become a fairy, what I could perceive had changed immensely. My consciousness could feel further than just a few feet. My mind could seek life forces miles away and that is what I did, pushing myself to the limit. I started. Someone two natured was nearby, a male. He was coming closer, curious, and wary. He did not want to hurt us; it was his job to check we were friendly.
I opened my eyes and glanced around. My sight was keen and I had paid little attention to our surroundings other than how pretty it was at a glance. Now, I focused then saw a line of the grass moving in the opposite direction of the rest.
“The wind blows east and carries our scent into the Pride,” Breandan explained and pointed to the grass. “It is not polite to run in another’s territory without permission, even if you mean peace. Before we reveal ourselves I want to be sure he means us no harm.”
The scream of a cat echoed across the Pride, and the soft stomping of heavy paws drawing closer found us through the silence. A panther raced into view. He weaved through the grass, unerringly in our direction.
Oddly enough, I relaxed, and my knees went weak with relief.
Breandan secured my waist and slid me behind him as the panther slid to a stop and exposed his sharp teeth in a vicious snarl and hissed menacingly.
Conall simply appeared from thin air, and held up his hands to both Breandan and the shifter; thank gods because it seemed like they would have torn into each other had he not. He shook his head, exasperated. “It is a good thing I decided not to scout too far ahead. Always are you in trouble, Rae.”
I curled my lip at him. How unfair. Like this was in any way my fault.
Roaring, the panther leapt forward a bound. His ears were flat to his head and his claws scratched up the earth. He was huge, coal black, and I found myself wondering how the hell I had not seen him in the green grass. It was taller than him, coming up to just below my breast, but still. After his display of dominance, he turned his head to look at me, and blinked. His beautiful eyes were the trigger that revealed I did indeed have a memory of him.
I laughed and held out my hand. Breandan pushed it back. “Wait,” he ordered and watched the cat carefully. He was not taking any more chances after our last encounter.
“Hai,” I whispered to the panther. “It might sound crazy, but it’s good to see you.”
He padded over cautiously, whiskers quivering when Breandan hissed a warning. The panther slinked low, under Breandan’s restraining arm. Keeping his eyes trained on my fairy-boy he pushed his hand into my hand. His eyes slid closed and purred.
I was strangely touched that he remembered me too.
“You know this hunter?” Conall asked a hint of pride in his tone.
Breandan shifted and the panther’s eyes shot open. He growled then settled on his haunches, tongue lolling to the side. I rubbed him behind the ears and he grumbled happily.
Breandan relaxed. He sat back and inclined his head. “How?” His raised eyebrow was enough to tell me he was surprised, but then he pulled his face into a neutral expression, his thoughts hidden from me. “How did you know it was him?”
I shrugged. “He’s unique. I just knew. He felt the same, y’know?” I glanced at Conall to let him know I had not forgotten his question. “We met in the forest yesterday when Breandan found me.”
The words pulled me up short. Had it only been two days since I’d met Breandan and Conall? Had it been so short a time in which my life had been turned upside down and inside out? My mind shied away from it all. It would do me no good to dwell on such things. It would drive me mad and I was batty enough.
“Did you pick up the trail?” I asked Conall in a rush. “I want to keep moving. I’m rested now and I even slept.”
Conall said nothing. He handed Breandan and I a cracker each and unhooked a small skin flask from his hip. Breandan ate the cracker dry in one bite and swigged from the flask.
I stared at what I had been given in my upturned palm. It did not look, smell, or feel appetizing. Not that food ever did look interesting to me. I did not feel hungry, but sort of hollow and like food would be okay in my stomach, but not that it was an urgent need. Would it be rude to ask if he had a can of fizzy stashed in one of his pockets? Glancing at Conall I decided against it. Little human culture resided in the fairy way, so I simply kept my eyes low, and glanced at Breandan through my lashes.
He was already watching me. “Everything okay?” he asked politely.
Pushing my hair off my face, I plastered on a bright smile, and cupped my other hand under the one forced to hold the cracker. “Uh huh. I’m not much of an eater anyway, and I’m sure there is something else.…” As I spoke I offered the cracker to him, but a glance at Conall showed more of the same kind of dry, mealy food in his hand. “Y’know, I can go days without eating anything.”
Breandan grinned then bent down to bite half the cracker from my palm. In a few moments, his rough tongue was licking crumbs and juices from my inner fingertips. Juices? I looked down to see a clear golden fluid running down my palm.
Breandan smacked his lips then regarded me closely. “You don’t like honey-nectar? It’s sweet.”
“Well to be honest I don’t think I’ve ever tried it. We used to get given lots of bread, milk, and water … and meat,” I said thoughtfully. At the word ‘meat’, the were-panther’s whiskers twitched and his pink tongue flicked out to swipe over his maw. As I spoke, I grinned at him. “And drinks filled with sugar to keep us going, y’know. Like fizzy stuff.”
“We have a much more varied diet,” Conall said after a pause, eyeing Breandan and where he had licked my hand with a dour expression. “But our meat is mostly fish and small game. Red meat makes us sluggish, slow. We avoid it.”
I nodded. “Makes sense. As a people we climb and live in the trees.” My voice was reflective. “We’re quick and light on our feet. It makes sense the food we should eat would be light in substance, but rich in goodness. And it explains why I never liked meat all that much.”
Breandan nodded in agreement. I still held the oozing cracker in my hands and it was beginning to look odd. I nibbled on it and made an appreciative murmur at the firm, wheat biscuit, and its sweet sticky centre. I finished up and Breandan held out the flask. I felt positively doted on and I accepted it with a smile. I took a testing sip. Just water. I glugged it deeply and eyed Conall. “The trail?”
He rubbed the heels of his palms in his eyes and when he shook his head, his ponytail swished behind him. “It is beyond me. Devlin has worked magics. Three different trails can be seen here, each is cold, and each carries his and Wasp’s scent. Less than an hour ago, we were half a day away and gaining. Now, it seems we are days behind and losing more time. It is a trick, a spell, and I canno
t see past it.”
I took in a deep breath and handed him back the hip flask, wiped my hand over my mouth. Some sleep, something to eat and drink, and I did feel a little better. Sharper. “Then we follow each trail. One each.”
“No,” Breandan said with forced evenness.
“Apart from the fact it would be most unwise to leave you alone, Rae,” Conall said patiently, “what happens when one of us does find them? Or maybe we will find more false trails that we cannot navigate alone.”
The were-panther – still seated comfortably on his hunches, and tail swinging from side to side – leisurely turned his head each time one of us spoke. His emerald eyes were bright and aware and I knew he was taking in every word. His handsome feline face looked focused.
“Then we follow each one,” I grated through my teeth. “We pick the most likely, follow for a while, and if we’re wrong we’ll backtrack and start again until we get it right.”
“And what of the time we lose whilst doing this? What if we come across more trails that are false? We could spend days going in the wrong direction.”
I opened my mouth to tell him I was ready to spend my lifetime hunting Devlin. Then I saw the stupidity in such words and my shoulders slumped. I burrowed the toe of my boot into the needle leaf strewn around me.
My voice was thick when I said, “There must be another way. We cannot just give up, and not just for the sake of my revenge. Lochlann needs the grimoire before he can start setting things right, doesn’t he?”
Even if Conall would not give into a selfish endeavour – such was the nature of revenge – he was the most loyal warrior I knew. He would do anything to secure Lochlann the fairy-lordship because he believed it was the right thing to do.
I looked up and found Breandan glaring at my brother, who sent him a short look of apology.
“Perhaps, there is something else we may consider. It is not without its dangers.”
“It is not a good idea,” Breandan said firmly.
Straightening, I cocked my head and tried to look attentive and brave, not desperate to crack some skulls. “Tell me and I’ll do it.”
Conall pointed a thick finger to the panther who had gotten bored sitting and was purring rubbing himself into my legs. “The shifters.”
My nipped intake of breath was loud in the sudden silence. I gripped the fur at the base of the panthers and squeezed it. “Yes,” I hissed, new possibilities opening up like a carnivorous black hole before me. “A Pack of were-cats could read each trail and save us time.” I dropped to my knees in front of him. “Could you or your kind help us?” My head snapped up to Conall. “Which is the closest?”
“Byron’s Pack is close and of the Alpha’s he is the most civilized. This panther must be of his Pride.”
“You both forget I have already said no.”
Breandan sent me a pointed look that told me he was serious. I returned it with some extra ‘I’m doing this so back the hell off’. I won, of course. He would not dare deny me this.
“Alright,” he said flatly.
His eyes were trained on the panther that looked rather smug to be weaving between my legs. I stumbled when he lay down. He rolled so he was pressed into my shins belly up begging for a tummy stroke.
I shuffled my feet from under him and accidentally stepped on his tail. He let out a strangled screech and jumped up.
Breandan laughed – his deeper baritone still managing to tinkle. It seemed the setting sun shone brighter and his smile made me blink. His silver eyes were breathtaking and for a moment, I was lost, falling into the gaze that swept over me lovingly. The moment changed, became charged and I was acutely aware of his warm hands at my waist, that his lips were a short sway forward away from mine. I remembered the feel of his mouth, the heady scent of him as he marked me as his own.
The shifter nipped at my leg then buried his teeth in the material of my dress and tugged. The flimsy material tore a bit and I took the hint and moved forward.
“Will you lead us to Byron, hunter?” Conall asked politely.
The cat bobbed his head in agreement and plodded forward, back into the plain. He turned his head back and looked at me.
Breandan pushed me forward lightly. “It is an invitation.”
I blinked, not understanding. “For what?” I asked mystified, and joined the were-panther. I pulled at the fur on his spine playfully. He was so soft to touch and I did not care that in reality I was intimately touching a being that was a man when in human form.
He bunched his front and hind legs together and leapt forward, taking off at speed that made my mouth drop.
“To run,” Breandan said and winked at me a moment before he and Conall took off too.
After a beat, I laughed and started behind them. I passed them quickly, and found myself following just behind the cat’s tail. I tried to catch him up, but always his tail winked in and out of sight. My feet pounded the grass and I found myself going faster. The earth was soft and springy. Unlike the forest, where you often had to jump and doge, here the land was flat and flowed up and down in gentle hills. My wings fluttered and I extended them slightly and found my pace increasing. My tail whiplashed out to steady my balance when I thought I would tumble over, and then I was by the cat’s side, keeping up. I smiled and with a last push took the lead, laughing as I did so.
Breandan shouted something; sounding terrified and I glanced behind, frowning. He panicked too much and too often.
Something brown and heavy crashed into me from the side, and I went down, rolling over the spiky grass. Something sharp dragged at my hip. I smelt blood, and the stabbing pain across my side told me it was mine.
I scrambled up and back up a pace, and hissed, the reaction instinctive.
A lynx stood fiercely before me, head down between her shoulder blades. Her luminous amber eyes locked on me, and her whiskers trembled violently. The tufts on the top of her ears were jet black and the ruff under her neck bright white, the fur stretching down onto her underbelly. She jumped on me and I lurched out of the way, spinning round to meet her next attack. Growling, she crouched, ready to pounce, but the panther skidded to a stop between us and spun to face the lynx.
He roared at her, a series of deafening and commanding bleats. Pacing forward, he bit her on the neck, pushing her down onto the floor. She did not resist him and the change in her posture was instant. She lowered her head and whimpered. Her ears pressed against her skull in submission and her tail pointed down.
The panther shook her roughly and his jaw flexed around her neck. For a moment, I feared he would kill her.
He let go and I breathed out.
He plodded over to me and head butted me in the leg, hard. I got a distinct feeling of anger radiating from him.
Pressing a hand to my side, I brought it away to see a small smear of blood, but my side heated painfully and I knew I healed.
“Sorry,” I said and knelt down to look him in the face. “It wasn’t her fault, and I’m sorry.”
“Good,” Conall said. I had not heard him arrive. It was then I noticed he had Breandan pinned to the floor. He let my scowling life-mate up. “I know you wish to protect her, but you were not needed.”
Anger flashed across Breandan’s face, before he composed himself. “You were right. It would have gone badly if I had interfered.”
My face was flushed, a rush of colour that swept up my neck and spilled into my cheeks. What I had done was plain stupid. Of course, the shifters would have many sentries posted across their borders. Lost in the joy of running I had forgotten we were drawing nearer to the heart of the Pride. The lynx would have smelt me coming and instantly reacted to what could be a hostile invader.
A bad thought came to me and had me saying in alarm, “The Pack isn’t going to be happy about the dead shifter are they?” I asked quietly. I gripped Breandan’s arm, holding him to me like someone was trying to take him away. “Can’t we hide the body? Like, throw it in a ditch somewhere and erase his sce
nt from this place somehow?”
Nobody said anything for a long while and I knew my words had upset the fairy boy’s. The were-cats just stared at me like I was the most fascinating thing they had ever seen. Conall and Breandan honorable – to a fault – and though I knew they saw my idea as a cowardly one, I still thought it was the best one. We had to be honest, it didn’t matter who we were in the fairy world the Pack we were visiting were not going to react well. They probably would have had an issue with us just being there in the first place but throw a dead one of their kind into the mix and things might get complicated. I did not want to have to persuade them we were not the enemy. The idea of going at it against powerful demons made my head hurt. My throat ached, so shouting was not an option for me. My body felt beaten up and I scowled.
The whole healing thing would be much more useful if I could turn it on and off. Conall himself had no control over that area of magic. He could heal others but not himself.
Our assemblage stood still for a moment, before the panther got bored, and with a low catlike mewing sound signaled us to move. He took the lead again. The lynx slinked to his side, head still bowed in submission.
One look at Breandan’s face had me all but pouting. “I guess you want to keep a hold on me now,” I said gruffly and yanked on the end of my hair in irritation. I let my abused throat roughen my voice to remind him to be gentle with me.
A small smile played on his lips. “For a little while.”
Grumbling to myself, I did not hesitate to entwine my fingers with his. His skin glowed brighter and he smiled. I felt my muscles unclench and a troublesome anxiety that had gathered between my shoulder blades release. I relaxed and sighed. Breandan seemed to be experiencing similar sensations, since he closed his eyes and rolled his shoulders.
“That is better,” he said, satisfied, and tugged me along after him.
The were-cats traveled in front of us, and the lynx pulled ahead, but the panther stayed close. Soon, I saw small house like shapes up ahead, smoke, and I caught a faint waft of cooking meat, sweat, and warm animal.