Elixia sighed and knew that he would probably never forgive her for this. ‘Fern ... Jane is ... she’s...’
‘What is it, Elixia?’ he asked sharply.
‘She isn’t here. She’s dead. She died just after you.’
Fern took a step back away from her. He shook his head. ‘No. You told me she was waiting for me. That’s why I came.’
‘I know,’ Elixia whispered, ‘Please, Fern, understand. It was the only way you would come back.’
He took a deep breath. ‘All right, so bring her back. You’re a necromancer.’
‘I can’t, Fern. It has been too long. I can’t bring a soul back from the dead unless they’ve only just crossed there. It was different with you because Odin had you someplace else, but Jane ... is lost to us.’
‘Why didn’t you bring her back when she first died then?’ Fern yelled, his voice in the silent room startling.
‘I didn’t know she was dead!’ Elixia said desperately. ‘No one knew. She just sort of ... left. It was confusing. It was such a mess after the battle—I was trying to heal some of the wounded...’ The end of the battle had been so hazy. She wasn’t sure anyone knew how Jane had died.
It was devastating, the kind of grief that came over Fern then. He wept, more than she’d ever seen him weep, wracking sobs that escaped him. Elixia looked on, helpless.
After a while she realised that he needed to be able to feel his sorrow, without interruption. So she left, her own tears welling in her eyes at the sight of her brother sagging against the wall, his body heaving with the weight of his loss.
Deep inside the sparkling city of ice that belonged to the Elves, their queen and her two princes looked at each other in the same instant and each let out a long sigh of joy. Their youngest and most beloved prince had awoken from his slumber in the space between life and death, and they could finally rejoice his homecoming.
Chapter 11
Mia sat on the balcony of Anna’s room. She looked out over the gardens of the palace, and further into the distance she could see the ocean. She was amazed by the beauty surrounding her. Amalia was a huge, brightly-coloured city, its buildings painted in rich blues and reds and yellows. The gardens were full of flowers, dazzling to look upon. It was still as stormy as when they’d arrived yesterday, the clouds fat and full.
Anna wrapped her arms around her body and Mia, seeing this, went inside to fetch a shawl for her friend.
Mia was appalled at how thin and sick Anna looked. Anna had explained that she was recovering from a flu, and conceded that she hadn’t been eating as much as she should, but Mia still found it worrying.
‘I’m going to fatten you up again,’ she told her. ‘There’s enough meat in this place to feed an army, so we shouldn’t have too much of a problem.’
Anna just laughed.
‘So how did you know?’ Mia asked, returning to their earlier conversation. ‘I mean, how did you know it was your destiny?’ That word seemed corny to her, but it had been the only way Anna could explain.
‘I saw him and I just knew. I know it sounds weird, but it’s the truth. Plus there was the basin.’
‘What basin?’
‘It’s called the basin of destiny,’ Anna said, a smile on her lips. ‘You look into it and it shows you the answer to the most important question of your life.’
Mia’s eyebrows arched. ‘More magic?’
Anna shrugged. ‘I guess. I don’t know what to call it.’
‘So what if you don’t know the question?’
Anna gazed at her and Mia was struck by how grown up she seemed. Not just physically, but emotionally too. It was in her eyes, in the way she was appraising Mia.
‘Nobody ever does,’ Anna replied gently. ‘You only know the question when the answer becomes real. When I saw Locktar, I was so terrified I thought it meant he was going to be the means to my death. I didn’t sleep for weeks!’
Mia smiled. ‘But now you know.’
‘Yes. It’s not always as simple as that though. Destinies change or transform or disappear. When Luca first looked into it he saw Ria. Did Harry tell you...?’
‘Yeah, he told me about what happened with her. So if she’s his destiny, why haven’t they spoken for years?’
Anna shook her head slowly. ‘When he looks into the basin now, he doesn’t see her anymore.’
‘Why is that?’
‘My guess is that that part of his destiny has already been fulfilled. Perhaps Ria’s part in his life is over, but it caused something else to arise.’
‘So what does he see now?’
Anna looked down at her hands sadly. ‘He won’t tell me. He hardly tells me anything anymore.’
Mia spread her hands wide. ‘ What has happened to him?’ she whispered.
It had been impossible not to stare at Luca at dinner last night. The problem was in relating this man to the boy Jack and Mia had known only a few days ago. Luca had always been the glue of their group, holding them together with his strength and kindness. He measured his words and offered them with a thoughtful smile, and he always, always looked after the five of them like they meant the world to him.
Girls had flocked to him, but he had gently turned them down—his heart already given away to his best friend, a girl who never returned such feelings.
Where had that boy gone? Now all Mia saw was a ghost. The physical changes were obvious—his body was lean and chiselled with muscle. Where Harry had become large and bulky, Luca was slight and hard. The real difference, though, was in his face. His eyes. They were hollow, cruel, sharp.
Anna sighed. ‘I don’t know. I’ve tried to work it out so many times. I think it was the battle, the loss of Jane ... When he killed ... he changed. He lost faith in the good things in life. He just kind of ... forgot who he was.’
‘We have to help him,’ Mia said firmly.
Anna nodded, but she didn’t look convinced. ‘The only person I can think of who might help is gone.’
‘And you’re sure you don’t know where she is?’
Anna shrugged. ‘People say she’s dead. But I’m sure she’s not. She disappeared, but I don’t know why.’
There was a long silence, then finally Mia clapped her hands. ‘God, this is too depressing. Come on, tell me the goss. Do you have a boyfriend?’
Anna laughed. ‘I don’t have time for a boyfriend.’
‘That’s a cop out. Are you still as wimpy with guys as you used to be?’
‘Hey! I’ve had a few flings...’
Mia tilted her head. ‘I heard what happened with Vezzet,’ she said gently.
Anna smiled faintly. ‘Yeah. But that was a long time ago.’
‘Still. I wish I’d been here.’
‘Me too.’ Anna took a shaky breath and changed the subject. ‘But hey, we can’t all be as lucky as you and Jack.’
Mia tried to smile, but found she was unable. ‘We aren’t so lucky.’
‘Wow! How did that happen?’ Anna asked quickly. ‘Last I knew you two were great together.’
Mia shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’ Suddenly she felt like crying. ‘It feels different here.’
‘How so?’
‘I’ve always loved him for who he is, you know? I loved him for his ridiculous jokes and sense of humour. I never wanted him to change. But now...’
Anna reached over and gently took her hand. ‘It’s normal for you to feel strange here. Give it some time. You’ll settle back into yourself.’
‘What if I don’t? What if I always want more?’
Anna smiled. ‘Then you’ll have to find something more. Either way, trust that it’ll be okay in time. You’ll figure out what to do.’
‘When did you become so wise?’
Anna laughed. ‘You’d have to hope I’d learn a thing or two in this crazy world.’
The two of them giggled, talking about inconsequential things, relieved just to have each other to talk to.
‘I want to look into the basin,’ Mia said a
fter a while. ‘That might help, don’t you think?’
Anna hesitated, then shrugged. ‘Maybe.’
She led her friend into the gardens and through the winding paths until they reached the tiny clearing hidden within the maze of plants and trees.
Mia stared at the basin. It didn’t look particularly special. It was old and worn, but she could see that once there had been carvings all over it.
‘So do I just look in?’
‘You have to touch the water first,’ Anna replied. ‘But Mia, think about this, because it will change your life, and it might not make anything easier.’
Mia shivered a little, but went forward and touched the water. It swirled and moved, and she gasped as she stared into the images. It was too chaotic to make out any one thing, but as she watched the swirling slowed and stilled, and Mia found herself gazing upon a single, clear image.
It was a desert full of white sand, wide and endless. In the middle of that desert sat a city, shimmering in the heat. Gold roofs sat atop enormous white pillars, a rich palace that sparkled in the sunlight. Mia stared unblinkingly, unable to look away. A wave of nausea washed over her as she realised that what she was feeling as she stared at it was a deep sense of familiarity.
Mia felt faint and pulled her eyes away.
‘What is it?’ Anna whispered. But when Mia turned back for another look, the image was gone, replaced by the clear, empty water of the basin.
‘Where did it go?’
‘You can’t look away or it breaks the vision,’ Anna said gently. ‘Are you okay?’
Mia opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Finally she uttered, ‘I don’t understand. I don’t—’
‘It’s okay. You don’t have to understand right away. It will become clear one day.’
‘I saw a city, An. A huge white and gold city in the middle of a desert. Does a place like that exist?’
Anna frowned, leading Mia to the bench seat nearby. ‘The only desert is in Tirana, and as far as I know, it is only inhabited by the nomadic Kabduh people. They travel around living in tents.’
‘So there’s no city anywhere there?’
‘I don’t think so.’
Mia stared at the ground, seeing only the city. ‘I have to find it,’ she said softly. ‘I have to find it, Anna.’
‘Okay,’ Anna said. ‘We’ll do some research.’ She paused. ‘It changes everything, doesn’t it?’
Mia knew exactly what she meant. She couldn’t explain it, but she was being pulled inexorably into the vision, and though she didn’t know why, she knew she was going to have to figure it out; it was intricately linked to the core of who she was.
‘Everything,’ she said, nodding.
That night as Jack lay in bed, he tossed and turned, his lips mouthing soundless words, soundless screams. His fists clenched and unclenched, and if there had been anyone looking at him, they would have seen the look of terror that passed over his face. And if anyone had been looking, they would also have seen the freshly sewn wound on his shoulder split open and begin to ooze with blood and secrets.
Fern side-stepped the attack and brought his sword in a quick arc to land on his opponent’s back. A killing stroke, if Ambrosius had not been wearing metal armour, and Fern had not been holding a wooden sword.
Somewhere in Fern’s mind he knew that the captain of Uns Lapodis was a good fighter. But Fern had fought with an immortal for too long, so it was difficult for him to remember that Ambrosius had capabilities beyond that of a child.
Ambrosius stood panting. ‘I’m sorry, my lord. I am not a worthy opponent. Perhaps someone else—?’
‘There is no one else,’ Fern snapped. He wanted to fight out his fury and grief but there was no one at all who could possibly challenge him.
Elixia entered and looked critically at the two men. ‘I hardly think you need to keep fighting, Fern. You’ve done enough training for several thousand lifetimes.’
‘Just keeping busy,’ he replied briskly. He’d forgiven her already—he loved her and in truth he didn’t have space in his heart for grudges. He was too brutally sore. It was beyond his capacity to understand how Jane could be dead. How he could be here without her.
He looked at his sister. It was so strange that everyone around him had aged since he’d last seen them. Elixia didn’t look very different, but it was enough to notice. Her hair was longer, and her body had changed with motherhood. Over two years as High Queen had given her eyes a new look—wiser and calmer than Fern remembered. He hoped fervently that she hadn’t lost any of her wildness of spirit.
‘Do you still ride, Lix?’ he asked suddenly.
‘As much as I can. Why?’
Fern shrugged, walking over to strap his real sword around his waist and deposit the wooden one in the armoury.
‘Don’t you want to come and meet the new Strangers? They’re dying to meet you,’ she said.
Fern closed his eyes. No, he did not. He had no idea if he could possibly bear it. ‘All right,’ he murmured tiredly. ‘Lead the way.’
‘Anna’s been looking after Ruby this morning, so you’ll be able to meet your niece, too.’
Fern followed his sister back to her chambers where they found all five of the Strangers sitting on the floor playing with the baby. They looked up as he entered and quickly stood. Anna gasped, rushing to give him a kiss on the cheek. Harry and Luca were quick to shake his hand, both amazed to see him alive, despite Elixia’s warning.
Fern endured their attentions as best he could, smiling and nodding along with whatever they were saying, but his eyes were drawn to the two youngest Strangers. The boy was small, and was looking at Fern with complete awe. His hand rested possessively on the girl next to him. Her hair was bright red and curly and fell into her eyes. As he looked at her, Fern felt a jolt in his chest. There was something about her wide-eyed innocence that made him think of Jane when he’d first found her on the cliff. They were so similar, these girls. He had a sudden urge to vomit.
Quickly he moved to take hold of the baby in Anna’s arms, looking at her closely and finding that the beautiful girl made him feel a little better. She stared up at him with her mother’s bright green eyes and reached out to take hold of his nose with her tiny fingers.
‘She likes you,’ Harry announced. ‘Every time I look at her she cries!’
‘That’s because you’re seriously ugly, man,’ the new Stranger said and received a thump to the arm for it.
‘Fern?’ a timid voice said and he turned to see the red-haired girl. ‘I’m Mia,’ she told him, smiling shyly. ‘I’ve heard so much about you. I was wondering if, some time, do you think you could tell me a little about Jane, when she was here? I know you found her, and we just miss her so much, and...’
Fern closed his eyes, but could endure it no longer. Without a word he thrust the baby at the girl, spun on his heel and left the room.
‘Fern!’ Elixia snapped, following him into the corridor. ‘That was rude!’
‘Forgive me,’ he muttered. ‘But I have to get out of here. Give them my apologies. I shall sail for Cynis Witron as soon as I can.’
‘You’re leaving now?’ she called as he stalked away.
He paused, turning back to his sister. There was a question, heavy on his heart.
‘What I did...’ he murmured, ‘did it mean anything? Accomplish anything?’ Years of chaos and battle, and the loss of his soul mate—he had to know if it was worth it.
Elixia stared at him, her eyes changing. In them was more love than he realised.
‘Fern,’ she said softly. ‘You saved us.’
After a moment he nodded stiffly, then left.
Her words didn’t seem to make him feel any better.
It was not difficult to organise passage on a ship that afternoon. The trip was amazingly short—only a day and a night with Accolon’s new ships. He wished dearly that he had Nuitdor, but he had absolutely no idea what had happened to her over the years. She would not be dead—at le
ast not from old age—she was from an extremely rare breed of Elvish horses that shared in the Elvish longevity. Fern had valued his horse over everything else he owned, and travelling was a chore instead of a pleasure without her.
Still, he kicked his new mount hard, bending low over its neck as he crossed the plains. He knew the dangers of the dark, so he had to be quick to reach the Elvish city before nightfall. Plus, he found he could better drown out his thoughts with the heavy, rhythmic pounding of the horse’s hooves on the ground.
Finally the ice city came into view, sparkling on the horizon, and he slowed, trying to prepare himself for what he knew would be waiting for him there.
The gates opened, and there was his mother, waiting on the mighty steps of her palace, her arms opening in joy. He’d forgotten that they would know he was coming—the Elves always seemed to know where he was.
Fern couldn’t help but remember the last time he’d been here. With Jane.
And Athena. Gods, what was he to do about her? He’d not seen her since agreeing to marry her.
He retreated to his room to dress for dinner with the queen and the other princes. His door opened before he had a chance to pull a new tunic on over his naked chest, and Athena entered, looking lovely in blue.
Fern’s stomach clenched and he grabbed a shirt to cover himself quickly.
She came forward to embrace him, her eyes full of tears. ‘I’ve missed you,’ she said.
‘And I you,’ he replied flatly.
‘I hope you will be able to tell me what happened.’
‘Maybe. In the future,’ he said quietly, unable to meet her eyes.
‘Of course. Whatever you want. Tonight is about celebration.’
The words were hollow in his ears, but Fern nodded anyway.
‘Shall we go?’ Apparently Athena was coming to dinner with them. As she was seated next to him at the ice table, it became clear that the engagement was still on.
Both Eben and Silven embraced him, and Fern smiled at seeing how well they were.
‘I need something from you all,’ Fern murmured once they were seated. ‘I don’t want to announce my return just yet. I would prefer to keep it quiet.’