She continued, “Everyone’s going to want you to take their pictures. So no more whining, no more crying, no more feeling sorry for yourself. I promise you, if you poured your heart and soul into being a full-time photographer then turned that passion into a business, who knows, you may capture images that change the world.”
“You really think I could be that great of a photographer?”
“Yeah! Because you always talk junk about how all of us think we’re good because we have cell phones, but you’re the real deal. So it’s time to put up or shut up, Ansli. You were telling me that I could do it. You made me believe in myself not too long ago. And it turned out great. Let’s walk down this road together! If I’m going to have a business, you can have one too.”
“Just hearing you say that scares me.”
“And if it didn’t move you at all, then I’d say it wasn’t something you should do. But because you feel that you don’t want to fail, that’s why you’re going to succeed.” Shelby gave me the biggest hug.
She saw past my flaws and loved me anyway. Shelby gave me hope in her embrace. Though I was nervous about all the big plans she had for me, she was right. Being anxious was a good thing.
“There’s my boo,” Shelby said to me, as she pointed to Spencer who was proudly walking her way. Then she squeezed my hand and started doubting. “What if he’s changed his mind about asking me to be his girl and all? What if he doesn’t want me?”
“Okay, you are talking so silly. Don’t get our lives mixed up,” I told her and laughed. “Look how he’s smiling. That guy ain’t going nowhere.”
“Hey girl!” Spencer said with a glow in his eyes when he looked at Shelby, coming up and giving her a real big hug.
Then he kissed her on the lips, right in front of me. He must not have known she was not into public affection. But maybe I was the one who didn’t know my sister because she was not trying to hide that they were together.
“Mhhm, we’re in school, not his bedroom,” I finally said, making them split apart.
Blushing, Shelby said, “Spencer, I want to introduce you to my sister, Ansli.”
“Yeah, we don’t have any classes together, so I haven’t seen you around,” he said to me. “Nice to meet you.”
I extended my hand to shake his, but he pulled me to him and gave me a hug too. I was a bit uncomfortable. I mean I didn’t know him, and he wasn’t my boyfriend. And when Hugo walked by seeing me in the arms of another, I pushed back.
“Okay, you two talk. It was good meeting you,” I uttered and then went to chase my guy. “Hugo!”
But he kept going like I hadn’t even called him at all. I was hoping that my sister was right. That whatever was going on with him, in terms of him thinking we didn’t need to be together, would pass. But when I saw him walk straight up to the cutest Hispanic girl I’d probably ever seen in my life—look out Jennifer Lopez, for real—I thought my heart was going to break again. He said something in her ear, and the two of them just walked away. What kind of sign was he giving me? Why was he doing me like that? I was actually happy when Slade, Sloan, and Yuri came up behind me. The four of us walked on down the hallway so I didn’t have to seem pitiful. I might not have a bunch of friends, but I did have family, even if in my mind that was a big question mark.
At school I wasn’t a big socialite. It didn’t much matter because, being one of five girls so close in age, we never needed anyone else. Maybe they’d been my crutch. Maybe I was now wanting Hugo to hold me up too. Maybe I needed to step out of my comfort zone, really take this whole being a professional photographer thing seriously and dig into my strengths. I was so worried about what was upsetting me, trying to make life right, that I wasn’t focused on what was already right.
“You’re passing our class aren’t you?” Sloan said.
I didn’t even realize I was already there. I was just coasting down the hallway, contemplating my next steps, not realizing that my next class could change my future. The art room was calling my name. But before I walked in the door, Sloan grabbed my arm.
“I’m sorry,” she said as she gave me a hug.
Leery of her gesture, I questioned, “Sorry about what?”
“I was a jerk last night, and I don’t want you to think that I’m not angry. I’m mad at our parents too.”
“Huh? They didn’t do anything to you.”
In a serious tone, Sloan said, “If they did something to you, they did something to me. Keeping the truth from you like that, it’s like we’re living in a house of cards. What else are they hiding that might make our happy home fall down? You know how I feel about the truth.”
“Well don’t get yourself in trouble because of me.”
“I’m just not a fake person. I’m uncomfortable with what they decided, and they need to feel it.”
“Thank you, Sloan. Of all people, I never thought you’d be on my side like that.”
“I give you a hard time, but you know I love you,” Sloan said as she gave me a bump.
Minutes later it was time to get to work. The art assignment actually grabbed my attention. Our teacher, Mr. Lang, who looked like he was probably twelve years old and fresh out of college, encouraged us in our first big project. We had to do a project on capturing pain. If someone could have taken a picture of me yesterday when I found out about my parents, I could have submitted that, and certainly that would have been an A. But it had to be something we either drew ourselves, painted, or took a picture of, and the work had to be titled.
The bell rang, signaling lunchtime. Hugo and I had the same lunch, but I didn’t see him anywhere. I was sitting with Slade, and she was babbling on and on about friends.
“You know I’m tired of just hanging with us. I need someone else … probably because you and Shelby partner up and Sloan and Yuri partner up. That leaves me by myself anyway. So while it seems like I’m a part of the crew, really I’m not a part of anything.”
“What are you talking about, Slade? You sandwich in the middle of us. You’re always a part of everything. And the three of you guys are like triplets anyway,” I explained alluding to her, Sloan, and Yuri.
As soon as I spotted Hugo across the room, I got up and headed his way. When he saw me, he walked the other way. I was hurt, and folks were staring. I quickly turned back to play it off. My eyes locked on this girl who grabbed some of my food off my tray. Slade was gone and so was my food.
Before I could even say anything she was gone, but I wanted to tell her not to do that again. So I followed her. She was taking stuff off the cafeteria line.
“What are you doing? You’re stealing,” I caught up to her and said.
“I was just…please…I’m sorry, okay.”
“No, it’s not okay.”
“You don’t know my story.”
“You don’t know my stomach. And now you’re stealing from the cafeteria. It’s just not cool.”
“Is there some problem going on right here?” Mr. Garner walked up and said.
“No problem. No problem at all,” this girl who looked like she clearly needed a bath said to our principal.
“She stole my food! And she just stole from the cafeteria!” I shared, still mad about so much.
Mr. Garner shook his head. “No, Katera. Tell me you didn’t.”
The Katera chick dashed off.
“Katera!” he yelled out. “I can’t let you just do this. We talked about this.”
“What do you mean you talked about it? She’s done it before?” I said, probably mad at everything else, and saying that just gave me a reason to vent.
“You don’t understand, Sharp.”
“You know my name?”
“Yeah, of course I do,” he said. “You are one of my students with special circumstances.”
“Urgh,” I uttered hating that. “She’s low income. She should be on free and reduced lunch.”
“Right, she is.”
“So why is she stealing?”
Mr. Garner
gave me a real talk. “Because she’s homeless. And if I kick her out of here during the day or expel her, not only will she not have any place to go at night, but I’ll be taking away the only safe haven she has.”
At that point it felt like I had stuck a knife in my own heart. And I hated having all these analogies about killing myself now that I heard my father killed himself, but that was truly how I felt. At first, I wanted the girl gone, and now because I reported it, Mr. Garner had to act on it. Last thing he wanted was for me to be able to tell my dad or anyone else that he wasn’t following protocol. If I got her kicked out, there was no way I could live with myself seeing someone wonder the streets.
“So, we have homeless kids at this school?” I mean I knew Hugo’s situation, but I guess I just assumed that was an isolated one. He was at least able to stay at a shelter.
Now the principal shook his head. “We’ve got twenty students at this school who are homeless. I’m trying all I can to help them, but their problems are so massive. It just gives me grave anxiety.”
CHAPTER THREE
AWE
“Let me go get Katera. This really can’t go on,” my principal said. My mouth was already wide open, but that comment practically made it drop to the ground.
“No, no, no, I can’t turn her in,” I quickly retracted, knowing the horrible fate I would cause this girl.
To think I just thought she was unsanitary. I felt like she should be ashamed of herself because she hadn’t taken a bath. Now, I was ashamed of myself because I didn’t even realize she couldn’t take one. I could only imagine where I’d be if the Sharps hadn’t taken me in. Yeah, I knew I had maternal grandparents in Europe somewhere, but they hadn’t really reached out to know me and my sister.
My dad was raised by a single mom, and she died before I was born. If not for grace, Kateras’s rough situation could be mine.
“Please, please forget I even said anything.”
“Ms. Sharp, I’m going to have to report it.”
“Report what? What do you think I said?” I questioned, thinking I could recant.
Mr. Garner frowned at me, basically wanting me to know I needed to remember. “That she stole your food.”
“No! No, I didn’t say that.”
“You said she stole food in the cafeteria.”
“Nope, didn’t see a thing,” I said as I winked for him to get that I was changing my mind.
He smiled. “So you’re saying … ”
“Exactly,” I said without him even finishing it, then I walked away. “Nothing to report!”
“I will talk to her though!” he shouted out.
Walking to class, I was all screwed up ‘cause every person who looked a little untidy, stressed, dirty, wrinkled, smelly, and worse, I wondered if they were one of the twenty homeless kids who didn’t have a place to go that was secure from the bugs, the weather, and any other dangers. It really was a thought that I had never comprehended. Sure I was angry at Stanley and Sherri, but when I saw the shelter Hugo, his mom, and his brother were in, I didn’t want any part of it. I’d rather be mad at home than have to fight life out there on my own.
I had to find her. I had to apologize. I had to help.
“Hey, it’s Katera, right?”
With a stank attitude, she said, “What do you want? I’m probably not even going to be able to come back to school thanks to you.”
“It’s all good.”
“What do you mean it’s all good? I heard what you told the principal. I ain’t have no mo’ chances with him.”
“Yeah, when he told me that, I took back what I said.”
“He told you?” she said, focusing on the wrong thing. “He’s not supposed to tell any student in this school my business.”
“No, I mean he told me that … ”
“Don’t try to make up anything.”
“Well listen, don’t get all smart and uppity when you stole food. I did see it. I did take it back, so what difference does it make what I know? I’m sorry,” I said, getting as testy with her as she was getting with me.
“You think I want your help? Thanks, but no thanks.”
I had never thought of cutting school, until that moment. The truth remained, Katera needed a bath. While my parents were at work, my sisters had more classes at school, and I had weight training next, which was a class I wasn’t interested in because I wasn’t an athlete. Since the class was filled with a whole bunch of football players, the coach wasn’t going to miss me.
“I owe you this. How about we go to my house? I get you washed up, a meal if you’d like, and we can go from there.”
“You’re taking me to your house and helping me? No, I don’t trust you. Too dang-on good to be true. Ain’t nobody trying to help me. Plus I don’t have any other clothes to change into.”
“We can wash the clothes you have, and I have some you can have.”
She stepped closer, looked me up and down and said, “Are you fruity or something?”
“You mean am I gay?” I asked her, a little insulted with how she asked me. “I’m not interested in you if that’s what you’re asking.”
“So you do like girls?”
“What does that matter, Katera? I genuinely want to help. That’s all. I’m not trying to be in the bathroom with you. Please trust me when I say I’m not at all attracted to you.”
“When I clean up, you will be.”
I just gave a quick grin and a short laugh. Then we headed out. She knew which ways to walk out so we didn’t get caught. Deep down I knew I was angry to be so reckless and defiant.
As we drove to my house, Katera was fascinated.
“You live on this side of town? Wow, I never even come over here, only heard it was upscale. You got a maid or butler? Not only are you high-yellow, but you’re rich too. You’ve got it made in life.”
“What does being high-yellow have to do with anything?” I said, admiring her pretty, dark, mocha skin.
When we got home, I forgot that our housekeeper Senora Romez was there. She started speaking to me in Spanish when I walked through the door. While I couldn’t understand everything she was saying, I knew she was asking, “Why are you home so early?” and “Who is this smelling like a stinky cat?”
“We’re working on a project,” I lied.
I didn’t want to get into the habit of lying, skipping school, and just plain old being bad, but I had to tell her something. When I took Katera to my room, she was google-eyed. She picked up the small globe on my dresser and shook it extra hard. I couldn’t help but feel like my real world was shaking too.
“This is awesome. Look at all your clothes. This furniture. I saw the picture coming in that you’ve got a bunch of sisters. How many of y’all share this room?”
“It’s mine alone.”
“What?”
“Yeah, all of us have our own bedrooms. There’re five bedrooms upstairs. I have to share a bath with my sister Shelby, and my three other sisters have to come out in the hallway to share their bath.”
“Oooh, that’s so bad. They have to come out in the hallway,” Katera mimicked. “I don’t even know why that’s bad.”
“I wasn’t trying to belittle your situation. I just was explaining mine.”
“And I shouldn’t be so quick to get angry at all you got.”
“Can I ask you a question?” I asked her, and she nodded. “How’d you get like this?”
“It was just me and my mom. She’s on drugs somewhere. When I was little, we were staying in this nice house. I thought it was ours, but turned out it was this drug dealer’s my mom was working for. When she lost all his money, smoked up all his money, gave away all his money, or whatever she did to all his money, he got pissed. He beat her almost to death. She hasn’t really been in her right mind ever since.”
“Where is she now?”
“She got locked up.”
“Isn’t there a Department of Children and Family Services where you can go?”
&
nbsp; “I slipped through the cracks, and now that I’m eighteen, there really isn’t much they can do for me. So, I don’t like stealing, but I gotta do what I gotta do to make it.”
She took the towel and soap from my hands, went into the bathroom, and shut the door. And I thought I had problems. Nope, not really. My issues paled in comparison to hers.
I was driving with Katera in my car, and I needed to keep my eyes on the road; however, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. The transformation was amazing! It’s crazy what a little soap and water would do. For most folks, a bath makes us better, for her, it made her blossom. Before, her natural locks were so tangled up and dingy looking. Now, they were fresh and cool. I want to run a comb through them, play with them; her hair reminded me of a doll I had when I was little. Most people looked at my straight hair with admiration. I actually wished mine had some resistance.
“What? Haven’t you ever seen Trading Places?” Katera asked me.
“No, what’s that?”
“It’s a movie with Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd.”
“Okay, what’s it about?”
“It’s a comedy about two men. One was a bum, and one was a rich guy.”
I knew she was insinuating that that was like the two of us. However, I didn’t see anything funny in the contrast, nor did I get the correlation as to why I should care. I just looked at her.
Huffing she said, “You’re staring at me like I can’t clean up, like I couldn’t be your equal. If I had all the things you had, well, that’s the same thing that happened in the movie. The stupid men who owned everything thinking they could pull strings made a bet that if the rich guy was stripped away from everything, becoming poor would crumble him, and if the poor guy was given much and taught how to be successful, he could be sustained and remain classy.”
“They both bet that?”
“No, one thought he could and one thought he couldn’t. You should just see the movie because you’re making me uncomfortable by looking at me like I’m a freak.”
“No, I’m looking at you because you’re beautiful.”
“Exactly, that’s my point. Homeless people can be beautiful if they had the same help everybody else has,” Katera schooled.