He put his arm around her waist and walked her across the parking lot to his car.
“That was so stupid…”
He carefully tucked her into the passenger seat, clipped on her seat belt. He could hear the self-directed anger. “Relax, Rae. It was a mistake, not a crisis.”
As he drove, she leaned her head back against the headrest, closed her eyes, fought to keep her stomach from cramping. James settled his hand across her clenched ones. “Don’t forget to breathe, Rae.”
She gave a tight laugh. “It hurts.”
James’s hand tightened. “I know.”
He thought about stopping somewhere, a pharmacy, a drugstore, to find something that might help, but he didn’t know where one would be in this area and the car ride was not helping her. Getting her home seemed more important. There were stores near her town house; he would get her settled in her own home, then swing back to the store to pick up something that might help her.
She had been quiet for too long, and her hands were damp with sweat. “Doing okay?”
“I feel awful,” she replied softly, not opening her eyes.
James squeezed her hands, hurting for her.
He pulled into the drive at her town house behind her Lexus, came around to open the door for her. He watched her take a deep breath before she moved, and saw her wince as she stood.
“Where are your keys?”
She found them in her bag.
He unlocked the door, stepped inside and made a sweeping inspection to make sure the place looked undisturbed. “Do you have something or should I go down to the pharmacy?”
“Buy me some of that pink stuff if nothing else,” she asked, grateful. She eased off her shoes. “I’m going to go lie down.”
He carefully brushed her damp forehead with his hand. “I’ll be back as quick as I can, Rae.”
“Go on, I’m okay.”
He gave a soft smile. “Sure you are.”
He locked the door behind him, taking Rae’s keys with him. Ten minutes later he was back at Rae’s, unlocking the front door.
“Hey, Lady,” he called softly. She was not downstairs stretched out on the couch, so he walked quietly up the stairs.
The master bedroom was at the end of the landing, a large room, decorated in several shades of deep green and gold. A beautiful and neat room. Rae was lying on the comforter, curled up slightly, her knees pulled up.
“I brought you some stuff,” James said, sitting down carefully beside her.
She opened her eyes cautiously. “Thank you.” The words were barely a whisper.
James gently stroked her hair back. She looked so different from the lady in control he had come to know. He opened the sack and read directions, found the bottle that promised to act the quickest. “Let me get you something to drink to take this with.”
“There’s a glass in the bathroom.”
James ran the tap until the water was cold, filled the glass.
“See if this helps.”
She gratefully took the medication he offered, then lay back down. She was shivering. James reached over and caught hold of the end of the comforter, then folded it up around her to keep her warm.
“James, at the restaurant…how did you know?”
“You were turning the color of unsalted butter,” he replied, smiling, glad to have her somewhere she could rest and recover.
“Thanks for what you did.”
“Don’t mention it,” he replied gently. “Need some soda, something else to help?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think I’ll risk it.”
She grew quiet and James sat beside her on the bed, idly smoothing her hair with his hand, watching her, thinking.
“I can’t miss work tomorrow.”
James hesitated. “You just took the medicine, Rae. In a couple of hours you will feel much better.”
“Have to be,” she replied, her voice slurring slightly as she grew drowsy.
“If something really bad happened and you couldn’t go in to work, what would you do?”
“Dave has power of attorney, and Jack would step in, manage the accounts temporarily until I was back or Dave could arrange a more permanent situation.”
She stirred restlessly. “Hot.”
James pushed the comforter back. Within moments she was cold again.
“My stomach wants to be sick,” she warned him, groaning suddenly as she coiled up again.
He rubbed her back.
“You’ll survive,” he replied, glad he had stayed, glad she had not made a big deal of his staying.
She was on her feet a few minutes later, staggering to the bathroom, waving him away. He ignored her wishes, staying with her to keep her hair back as she was violently sick. He handed her mouthwash and used a hand towel to gently wash her face.
He tucked a blanket around her shivering frame and sat with her on the bathroom floor, leaning against the wall. “You’re off Mexican food for a while,” he told her firmly, rubbing her icy hands briskly between his.
She was buried in the blanket, her head tucked against his chest. “Not a problem,” she agreed with a weak laugh.
James hated seeing anyone sick, but it certainly was one way to get her to forget her normal reserve around him. When he let go of her hands, she curled them against his chest, gave a soft sigh.
James rested his arms around her waist and waited for her to feel better, to risk moving her back to the bed to lie down. He liked having her in his arms.
“Going to sleep?” he asked, amused, when she was still leaning against him motionlessly several minutes later. She was almost limp.
He felt her relax at the amusement in his voice. “Hardly. Not on the bathroom floor. Although I have been known to drift off if I’m somewhere warm and comfortable. I don’t care how good the movie is, chances are I’m going to fall asleep.”
James tightened his arms and really considered kissing the top of her head. “I’ll remember that.”
“I like mushy movies.” He could hear the amusement in her voice, and a yawn that cracked her jaw.
“Does this mean if I ask you on a date, you might say yes?”
“Depends on what, where and when,” she finally replied.
“Tomorrow night, Shaw’s, eight o’clock?”
“Day after. Eight o’clock is fine.”
He smiled. “You’ve got a date.”
She nodded. “Good.”
They sat together in silence, Rae trying to drift off to sleep and James content to hold her and think. A few more minutes and he would urge her back to bed where she could rest in better comfort. For now, here was just fine.
She suddenly stiffened. “Let me up.”
She jerked forward.
She was sick again.
He felt her spine ripple with the spasms. “Easy, Rae, easy. Don’t fight it.”
He was helpless other than supporting her weight. He hated this. There were tears running down her face now. He gently wiped them away, eased her back onto the floor when the worst was past.
Whatever medicine she had taken earlier had been lost, but he couldn’t risk giving her more. She protested weakly when he eased her out of his arms, forgave him when a cold cloth pressed against her cheeks.
“Don’t tell Dave about this. I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“I won’t,” he promised softly.
He eased her into bed twenty minutes later when it looked as if she were past the worst. She sank back into the covers, her eyes closed. A nightgown and the lights off would be a lot more conducive to rest, but he didn’t intend to leave until she had more medicine and was clearly feeling better.
His own body was aching with the unforgiving costs of sitting on the floor. He pulled over the chair she had in the room, silently scanned the stack of books she had beside her bed. Most were medical texts, but he found a Spencer mystery and pulled it from the stack. It was a good book, but he read only a few pages at a time, as he quietly watched Rae
, worried about her.
The picture beside her bed…the ring…held his attention for a long time. It was a beautiful ring, hanging from a ribbon looped over the picture frame.
What had it been like to be handed that ring after Leo had died, to have such a tangible indication of how much had been ripped away? Was it a comfort to have his picture, the ring in sight each night, or was it making it harder to let go and move on? He looked at the ring and back at Rae and felt slightly sick himself. She might say yes to a date, but she was a long way from stepping beyond the past.
God, what’s the key to get past her pain? You know. Will You help me understand how to help her let go of the past? At least not make it worse?
Finally toward midnight, he got more medicine in her. She seemed to be feeling better.
He eased the covers around her, leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. “Call me in the morning, Rae.”
Her eyes were serious when they locked with his. “Thank you, James.”
He looked back, just as serious. “Good night, Rae,” he finally said. He reached over and clicked off the light. “Sleep well.”
He pulled her door partly shut, took the book with him downstairs. He didn’t want to leave until the medication had a chance to work.
She had said yes. He wanted to smile, to feel the anticipation, but the impulse was tempered by the fact that he knew how careful he needed to be. He couldn’t afford a mistake with Rae. She had a lot to deal with without him making a careless comment and making things worse. She was a beautiful lady, a wonderful friend, someone he wanted to get to know at a much deeper level. He couldn’t afford a mistake.
He left for home about one-thirty, Rae sleeping peacefully, her face looking relaxed in the moonlight.
Did she really want to date James?
Rae eased back against the counter, sipping her coffee, considering the question. She was in her robe and slippers; the dawn was still just a twilight. It was a quarter past five. She had allowed herself to sleep in an extra half hour, hoping her stomach would remain settled. So far, she felt a little tentative, but she was still on her feet.
She didn’t want to date him.
It was her gut reaction—a strong one—not wanting to risk being vulnerable, not wanting to risk letting someone really get to know her. She had been down this road before, let Leo get close. Love was a powerful thing that made life so full of joy. When you lost it…Rae didn’t want to get hurt like that ever again.
Did she want to date James?
She didn’t want to wake up alone for the rest of her life. She wanted someday to have a son, a daughter, someone to call her Mom. She wanted that.
To date James meant she had to risk getting hurt again.
Very rarely did she let herself think back to what the first year without Leo had been like. It was too painful, too raw, too black. She never wanted to experience that again. She didn’t want to get near a situation like that ever again.
She rubbed her foot on the flooring, tracing a pattern in the tiles.
She didn’t have a choice.
Of every man in her life, James was the only one she could see as potentially being her husband. She already had a crush on him, not that she would admit that to Lace. She liked him. She liked what he had done with his life, how he related to his family, who he was as a friend. She had been around him and she had been watching him. His faith and his actions were consistent with one another. His words and his actions were consistent. He would make a wonderful husband.
She was going to have to risk her heart—and hope and pray for the best.
“His car was still here at 1:00 a.m. It must have been quite a date.”
Rae tried to reach the book she had just knocked behind the headboard. “Lace, it wasn’t like you think.” Her friend had shown up shortly after eight-thirty with a gallon of ice cream and a video they had not seen before, interrupting Rae in the middle of cleaning house.
Lace pulled yet another dress from the back of Rae’s closet, considered it, and put it back with a slight shake of her head. “Oh, really? When are you seeing him again?”
Rae couldn’t stop the blush.
“I thought so,” Lace said, smiling. “When?”
“Tomorrow night,” Rae finally admitted. “He’s picking me up at eight.”
“Casual or dressy?”
“Casual.”
Lace went back to inspecting the contents of Rae’s closet. “This might do,” she finally decided, pulling out a green silk dress.
“That is not casual,” Rae said.
“Casual means low heels, less jewelry. It is a simple dress that will go anywhere.”
Rae bit her lip, considering. “Maybe, but only if I can wear my hair down.”
“It looks beautiful down. Wear that gold necklace Dave gave you for your birthday, and maybe the bracelet from Leo.”
Rae considered, then moved past Lace to look for shoes. “These?”
“Perfect. Where are you going?”
“Shaw’s.”
“Nice place.”
Rae wished she had said no when he asked her. An actual date. Maybe she could plead still feeling ill.
No. She was not a coward, even if she felt like one. She had another day to get over her nerves.
“What did you and Dave do last night after we left?”
Rae was astounded to see Lace blush. “Lace?”
“We went to see a movie.”
“That hardly explains that blush,” Rae said, sitting down on the side of the bed. “Give.”
Lace sighed and sank down on the bed beside her, picked up the bear Leo had given Rae. “He kissed me.”
“Dave.”
Lace nodded. Her expression was so morose, Rae didn’t know what to think.
“And?”
“And we’re going to mess up a great friendship. He doesn’t have a settle-down bone in his entire body.”
“That’s all?”
Lace nodded.
“Thank goodness. I was afraid for a moment. I thought it was a bad kiss.”
“It was a great kiss,” Lace said, more depressed.
“Dave really does want to settle down, Lace. He’s just been kind of slow to realize that. He’s been thinking about it lately, even thinking about having kids, if James is to be believed.”
Lace visibly perked up. “Our Dave?”
Rae smiled. “One and the same.”
“He could have mentioned that to me, the turkey.”
Rae laughed. “We’re supposed to be having a girls night, and here we are talking about guys. Come on, let’s go watch that movie. I hear you need a box of tissues by the time it’s over.” She tugged Lace to her feet.
“Can I ask one more guy question?”
Rae hesitated. “Sure.”
“James is a serious kind of guy, Rae. He isn’t the type to date casually. Are you sure you know what you’re doing? I don’t want you to get hurt,” Lace said softly.
“Lace, I’m scared to death that this is a mistake, but I said yes. I guess I’m going to find out.”
“This house has the space you were looking for, James. And the yard. It needs work, but the structure is sound and the price is certainly right. I think you ought to buy it,” Kevin concluded, standing on the drive and looking over the property again.
They had already been down in the crawl space, up in the attic, on the roof, done a detailed inspection. It was a good property.
“I’ll think about it overnight, but I agree. This is the place.” James looked over the house. His transition to the States was going to feel so finished the moment he bought a house. He would be settled here for the long-term. “You said the schools in the area are good?”
Kevin raised a single eyebrow at the question, but replied, “Excellent.”
James nodded. He would be raising a family here, knowing about the schools was an important factor. The house had the room he would need to set up an office, let him resume work as an archit
ect in a consulting capacity with Kevin. It had room for his wife to have a large office, and still leave bedrooms for children. There were some structural changes to be made—two walls would go when he remodeled—but it was a house with possibilities.
The yard needed work, but there was almost an acre of land. Plenty of room for kids to play.
What do You think, God? Is this the place to settle down and make a new start? It’s certainly a wonderful place with great potential.
“You thinking about settling down in more ways than just buying a house?” Kevin asked.
James weighed how to answer. “Possibly,” he hedged. He needed to get this bug back under control, work the pain out of his system again. He had done it once, he could do it again. He had been thinking a lot about a lady with twinkling blue eyes.
Kevin smiled. “Wonderful idea. I would act on it.”
“I’m thinking about it,” James replied, smiling.
She should have chosen a different dress. Rae turned one way and the next, trying to decide if this was really an acceptable choice. It was a beautiful dress. But she had bought it to wear to a concert with Leo. They had never gone, but still, it was a dress that had some history.
God, what do You think?
She had never been so nervous about a night in her life. At work it had been difficult, if not impossible to concentrate. The whole office had seemed to know that something was up.
God, I hope Your sense of humor holds. I’m probably going to need You to pull my foot out of my mouth a few times tonight.
She was blowing this out of proportion. It was a date, yes, but that was all it was. She needed to relax, quickly.
The doorbell rang, the chimes sounding throughout the house, and her muscles tensed. She forced them to relax.
She descended the steps, moved to the front door.
He stood in the doorway, relaxed and comfortable in dress slacks and a tailored shirt. “Hi.”
It was the soft greeting, the relaxed way he smiled, that made her relax and smile back. “Hi, James.”
“You look very nice tonight.”
She blushed slightly, looked at the dress. “Thank you.”
“Dave said roses and Lace said orchids, but I decided on something more unique.” He picked up a bouquet of wild-flowers from the rail. The flowers were delicate, fragile, the bouquet a riot of color.