“I promise I’ll do everything I can for you, Lieutenant Grady,” she said softly to the file on her laptop screen. She heard a few raps on her door, signaling Cindi was about to enter with the client. Olivia checked her desk and made some last-minute organizational adjustments…
More knocks sounded.
Drawing her brows together, she called out, “Yes, Cindi, you may come in.”
Again with the knocking. What the hell? Olivia huffed a quick exhale. The day was not starting off well thus far. She hoped that changed soon because she simply wasn’t up for the typical Monday Challenge this week. Pushing herself up, she strode to the door and pulled it open.
“Cindi, didn’t you hear—” Olivia’s heart stopped.
“Cindi’s grabbing herself some coffee. Sweet kid,” said the deep, rumbling voice that had haunted her for the last two days, “but I’m here for you.”
Her voice barely registered as a whisper. “Wolf?”
She couldn’t stop her traitorous gaze from inventorying the man in front of her. Thick-soled black work boots led to faded jeans topped by a threadbare Red Sox T-shirt that hugged his chest and stretched around his biceps. Leaning a shoulder against the doorway, thumbs hooked in his front pockets and one ankle crossed over the other, Olivia’s worst nightmare and favorite fantasy leveled her with his penetrating stare and wicked grin.
“What’s up, Doc?”
…
Jesus Christ. Erik was in trouble.
Until about sixty seconds ago, he’d convinced himself that he’d feel nothing more than he would for any acquaintance if he saw her again. That Livvie couldn’t possibly be as sexy and beautiful as he remembered. That the way she pulled him in like the moon to the tide was something his mind conjured as a way of justifying the encounter. And pretty much the best sex of his life.
What a fucking idiot. She was even more stunning in her work getup than the sinful red dress from Friday. Golden hair sleeked back into a bun at the nape of her neck. Blue and black rectangular glasses framed her hazel eyes rimmed with thick black lashes. Crisp white button-down shirt opened at her throat and arrowed down to just shy of showing cleavage. And his favorite, a powder blue pencil skirt and mile-high heels highlighted her toned calves.
That didn’t even consider what divine things she might be wearing underneath. God, kill me now. Death might be easier than trying to control his need to bunch that skirt around her waist and take her against the wall of windows across the room.
Erik let his eyes blatantly rove over her body as she’d just done to him. “Damn, you look good enough to eat.” He paused and flicked his gaze up to meet hers. “Again.”
Livvie shook her head slightly. “How did you find me?” She let out a soft curse. “You know what? It doesn’t even matter. I told you I wanted my anonymity and privacy. I don’t know how you got around it, but the fact that you didn’t respect my wishes tells me all I need to know about you.” Spinning on her heel, she dismissed him. “Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. Or do, I don’t care.”
He watched her cross to her desk with graceful determination. Then she sat and pointedly ignored him. Erik grinned and stepped into the office, closing the door.
“I’d love to oblige you and leave”—Not really—“but I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
She pinned him with a glare and tight smile. “And I’m afraid I must insist or I’ll be forced to call security to escort you from the building. I’m expecting a client at any moment.”
“Correction, Doc. You’re speaking to your client.”
Her eyes opened wide. Pink lips parted to suck in a sharp breath. Creamy skin drained of color. Maybe it made him a sadistic son of a bitch, but shocking her was rather addictive. In the few minutes since she opened the door, his quick assessment from her reactions and her OCD orderly office showed him a different side of her from the other night. One that didn’t appreciate her pristine feathers being ruffled. Which only made him want to ruffle them even more.
Friday night, he’d met her slightly insecure, innocent side. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t reveled in shocking her sexually. He’d never been with anyone like her, someone who he’d bet had only known the softer side of sex before that night, and he’d fed on making her wetter with every shock.
Holding her gaze, he ambled over to the chairs in front of her desk and took a seat. As he leaned back and got comfortable, he continued to study her like he would an enemy target. What made Dr. Olivia Jones tick? Her strengths, weaknesses? Habits and tendencies? Erik found himself wanting to learn everything about her. Past, present, and what she hoped for the future. He didn’t want to settle for knowing about her. He wanted to know her, full stop.
That thought should have had him hauling ass out of the kill zone as he had in the past, but…
Saying that Livvie was different than any woman he’d been with was like saying Afghanistan was a little sandy and dry. She’d had him eating from her palm before they ever said a word to each other. She had no idea she held all the cards. Self-preservation demanded he make sure she never found out, either. Not to mention the guys. Erik would never live it down.
Screw the red flags. That couldn’t have been more of a warning than if a grenade had landed at his feet. But instead of running for cover, he’d taken the chance that it might be faulty and stood his ground.
Wasn’t the first time he’d been wrong.
Least no one died this time.
“If you are who you claim to be,” she challenged, “then kindly tell me your name and reason for being here, Wolf.”
Erik braced his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, his upper body nearly touching the edge of her desk. Livvie sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest to hide her discomfort. Seemed she didn’t like feeling out of control and unsure. Not in the office, anyway.
“Name’s Lieutenant Erik Grady of BFD Rescue 2 and former lieutenant, Second Battalion Seventy-Fifth Ranger Regiment. I’m here because a computerized test said I can’t go back to work until you say I can. Believe me yet?”
Her slender throat moved as she swallowed thickly, then she nodded. “Yes.”
“The other night, I told you Wolf is my nickname. More accurately, it was my call sign. My entire team—Dozer, Smoke, Bowie, and Preacher—is retired army, so we communicate the same way we did in the service when we’re out on calls and on the walkies.”
“And you’re Wolf, I’m assuming of the lone variety,” she mused. “Did you pick your own call sign?”
“That’s not how it works.” Erik winked. “I’d be one arrogant sonofabitch, naming myself after a deadly predator.”
A single pale eyebrow arched. “You may not have chosen that name, Lieutenant, but that has no bearing on whether you’re an arrogant son of a bitch.”
An easy laugh escaped his chest at her surprise dig. “Got me there, but something tells me you’d have no problems keeping me humble, Livvie.”
For a split second, a smile broke across her face, and it was like stepping out into the sunlight after years in a cave. Then she composed herself, passing a huge cloud overhead, casting him back in the shadows. He didn’t mind, though. He knew it couldn’t stay there forever.
“Olivia,” she rasped. “My friends call me Olivia.” She cleared her throat and took a sip of her coffee, then carefully set it down with both hands before clasping them tightly on her desk. “And my clients call me Dr. Jones.”
Dropping the tone of his voice, he imagined his words rolling over her naked body. “The man who made you come so hard around him that he thought he’d died and found heaven, what does he call you?”
Erik heard the breath catch in her chest. He saw her pupils swallow the hazel of her irises. He blatantly let his gaze touch every inch of her he could see, reminding her of how his hands had done the same thing less than sixty hours ago.
Closing her eyes, she focused on regulating her breathing for a count of ten (he’d counted) and won
dered if she taught her clients that technique. It seemed to work well enough for her. By the time she finished and regarded him again, she’d regained control over her body.
He’d be lying if he said that didn’t both piss him off and turn him on at the same damn time.
“I don’t care what that man chooses to call me,” she said coolly. “It isn’t my concern, because what I am to him is a woman in his past, and that’s where I’ll stay.”
“Nice try, Doc. But even without the signed paperwork in my back pocket saying otherwise, I don’t buy it.”
Livvie’s eyes narrowed. “Did you know who I was from the very beginning?” She laughed without a drop of humor and shook her head. “Of course you did. You’re former military; you can find out whatever you want. Probably put a bug in my phone or whatever it’s called and have a file with everything about me back to my preschool transcripts.”
Erik hitched an eyebrow. Someone’s been watching too many spy movies.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you, Lieutenant, but I don’t accept bribes, no matter how good the currency.”
Damn, he loved it when she got all formal with him. The more put together she was, the more he ached to mess her up and make her lose her ability to form coherent sentences, much less fancy-sounding ones.
Remembering how her ass moved under that skirt had him half hard already. But now was not the time to cater to his dick. Stand down, soldier. Yeah, right. Like it’d ever listened to him before.
Ignoring his body’s baser call, Erik studied the beautiful doctor. Her hackles were up for sure, but something else lingered in her eyes. Embarrassment? Hurt? This woman was such a mystery. Every time he started to think he understood her, she’d do or say something that kicked him back to square one. Fine by him. He loved a good challenge.
“What makes you say that I must have known who you were?”
She scoffed and rolled her eyes as though he’d asked the dumbest question ever. “Why the hell else would you have been so insistent we spend the night together? I was a hot mess who admitted to a slew of bad dates under my belt, which screams ‘more trouble than I’m worth’ to any guy just looking to score. But not you. You did everything but break out a damn PowerPoint to make your case.”
“What are you saying, exactly?”
“You know damn well what I’m saying.”
Erik wasn’t sure if he should be pissed or amused at her insinuations, but he’d keep himself on an even keel until he figured it out. “Do me a favor and spell it out for me.”
“Come on, give me a little credit. It’s not like no one’s tried convincing me to sign a completion form without going through the therapy before.” She stood and walked to her wall of windows to pace in front of them. “Granted, they’ve always waited until our first visit before trying to seduce me with their so-called charms, but it never worked. Every one of them was met with the frigid psychologist who deflected their attempts, and before they knew it, they’d completely opened up because I’m damn good at my job.
“Oh, but not you, Lieutenant. No, you snuck in under the radar and used a lot more than just your charms to seduce me, and you used my vulnerability on a shitty night against me.”
Erik clenched his jaw and gripped the arms of his chair so he didn’t do something stupid, like grab her and spread her across her desk before showing her just how much trouble she was worth. The idea that she could ever think otherwise made him furious. Knowing a bunch of assholes had tried seducing her for their own benefit made him downright violent.
Not that he didn’t understand their desperation to get out of talking about their personal hells and get back to their jobs. Erik understood that perfectly. But when someone is repeatedly valued for what she can do for others, rather than valued for who she is, eventually her self-worth is going to take a hit. And it sounded like she’d taken plenty.
With every step, Livvie became more agitated. Not how he wanted her feeling around him, now or ever. In her mind, though, he was the enemy. He could deny things until he was blue in the face, but she wouldn’t hear a word of it. But maybe she’d listen to the man she was with in that hotel room.
Pitching his voice lower, he used the dominating tone he’d used that night with her. “Stop, Livvie.”
She froze midturn in the corner, her back to him, slim shoulders rising and falling. Erik pushed himself out of the chair and moved to stand directly behind her while still keeping a single, torturous inch between their bodies. He wouldn’t be the one to initiate contact. She’d need to surrender and obliterate what little space was left.
Her rose-petals-and-sunshine scent wreathed around his face and tested his control. If a woman’s body emitted pheromones, hers were on some serious steroids. Like next-level shit, because it took every ounce of his control to not take her up against the glass until they both collapsed.
Then he remembered. If he didn’t play this right, she’d shut down for good, and he would’ve failed them both. Denied them of what could potentially be the most memorable affair of their lives. Or maybe something more.
But even with his brain in the right place, his fingers itched to grab her hips, slide up her sides, and cup her breasts. To ensure they didn’t, he braced his palms on the window, trapping her between his arms.
“I hate hearing you put yourself down, Livvie. I hate it, and I won’t stand for it.” His breath stirred the fine hairs at the nape of her neck. He swore he saw a shiver run through her, but it wasn’t enough to melt the steel in her spine. “No one should be allowed to put you down. Not even you.”
From his height advantage, Erik could see her nipples straining against the crisp cotton of her shirt. He wanted to suckle them through the material, leaving wet spots behind like an animal marking its territory. Biting back his wanton growl, he went on, knowing his deep voice would vibrate through her with every word.
“I was so insistent because from the moment our eyes locked in that liquor store, I wanted you more than my next breath. Then we started talking. You were clever and funny and this intoxicating mix of adorable and sexy, and suddenly wanting you wasn’t enough. I needed to make you mine.
“Every sound you made that night drove me crazy. When you touched me, I felt like five times the man I am. My God, Livvie,” he said, lightly tracing the soft shell of her ear with his nose. “The scent of your arousal literally brought me to my knees. The way you tasted on my tongue…fuck. I’d happily spend the rest of my days with my face between your legs.
“And restraining myself right now is proving impossible. You can take a look and see for yourself, the affect you have on me.”
Slowly, she turned around in his arms, sticking close to the window, then dragged her eyes over his body until they landed on the bulge in his jeans. Her breath caught and she flicked her gaze up to his. A wolfish smile tugged at his lips. “As much as I like to think I have control, truth is, he has a mind of his own. Can’t fake that kind of reaction, Doc. It’s all for you.” He took a hand from the window and adjusted himself. “And it’s damned uncomfortable.”
Livvie tried unsuccessfully to stifle a chuckle behind her hands. It made him feel lighter. He wanted to bottle it and take it out any time the darkness threatened him. Mostly, though, he wanted to do whatever he could to keep that smile on her face and make her laugh as often as possible.
Clearing her throat, she composed herself, but the rigid tension from before was now missing. Small change, but he’d take it. “So what you’re saying is that this was all just one incredibly insane coincidence?”
“I’m not saying that at all. I don’t believe in coincidence, Livvie.” Erik shook his head and pushed off the windows to take a step back. His control was slipping. “You can believe that if it makes you feel better, Doc. I prefer to think the universe is trying to tell us something.”
Lifting her chin an inch, she crossed her arms over her chest and cocked a hip out to the side. Back on the defensive. “Odd. You don’t strike me as the phil
osophically romantic type, Lieutenant.”
Erik shrugged. “I’m not. But I’ve witnessed a lot of so-called ‘coincidences.’ Eventually, I realized it’s nothing more than recognizing the signs for when things line up the way they’re supposed to. A person can choose to ignore them, and a lot of the time they do. Given the opportunity, I choose to follow and see where they lead.”
“Well, I follow rules and laws, which is why I can’t treat you.”
Erik had wondered how long it would take her to turn him away. He’d known she would. Treating a man who she’d had sex with was highly unethical and probably broke all sorts of rules.
“You’ll have to see one of my colleagues,” she continued. “Would you prefer to set up an appointment now or do it yourself later?”
“I’d prefer to stick with you, Doc.”
That was a goddamn lie. The very idea of spilling his fucked-up mental guts to this woman made him want to violently spill his physical guts. He had no intention of keeping her as his shrink. He did, however, intend on trying to spend more time with her. As he suspected, after finding out her anonymity was blown, Livvie didn’t want to give him the time of day, much less a date. If he wanted a chance at getting to know her better, he’d have to play just a tiny bit dirty.
“I told you, that’s impossible.”
“No,” he said. “Ill-advised, maybe, but not impossible. The thing is, when the hotel clerk said your name the next morning and I realized you were my soon-to-be therapist, I checked out your colleagues over the weekend. The head honcho, Dr. Edward Marion, is pretty slick when it comes to his business. He has a standing contract with both Boston PD and FD, so any time a cop or firefighter gets messed up in the head, they get sent here. Right?”
“That’s true, yes.”
“And here at Boston Behavioral Health, there are five mental health doctors, all with different specialties: cognition, pediatric, forensic, substance abuse… And then there’s your area of expertise and the reason I was assigned to you specifically: PTSD.”