Page 44 of Anne Sexton


  All best wishes,

  Epilogue

  Anne’s death was not unexpected. All those close to her had known that one day she would choose to commit suicide. At home in Weston on Friday, October 4, 1974, she took herself quickly and quietly.

  Only the day before she had returned from a successful reading at Goucher College in Maryland, where the audience had given her an extended standing ovation. The academic year had just begun at Boston University and her students welcomed her home at the airport instead of meeting her in their weekly Thursday class. At Black Oak Road, housekeeping arrangements looked promising: a new young couple had moved into the basement apartment.

  The weather that Friday was particularly invigorating—the “black” oaks and swamp maples were turning color. Anne shared lunch with Maxine Kumin in Newton, and proofread the galley sheets for The Awful Rowing Toward God with her as they had done with her previous books. She had planned an evening out with one of the men she was currently seeing. But despite these signs of renewal and strength, she returned home to her death with no dramatics, no warning, no telephone calls.

  Of all those who unconsciously prepared for her death, perhaps Anne herself was the most thorough. By July 1974 she had finished putting her house in order, asking particular friends which of her possessions they would like as remembrances, and offering to write holographs of their favorite poems. She had selected a biographer and prepared the Boston University archive of her manuscripts and letters. After much thought, she had appointed her literary executor, and drawn up a will with specific instructions for her funeral. In the last few years she had repeatedly told family members and friends that she wanted a palindrome from the side of an Irish barn carved on her gravestone. The words RATS LIVE ON NO EVIL STAR gave her a peculiar kind of hope.

  She was acutely aware of how her death would affect others. In a letter written in April 1969 to her daughter Linda, she attempted to comfort and to hold, anticipating the day when touch would be impossible.

  Wed—2:45 P.M.

  Dear Linda,

  I am in the middle of a flight to St. Louis to give a reading. I was reading a New Yorker story that made me think of my mother and all alone in the seat I whispered to her “I know, Mother, I know.” (Found a pen!) And I thought of you—someday flying somewhere all alone and me dead perhaps and you wishing to speak to me.

  And I want to speak back. (Linda, maybe it won’t be flying, maybe it will be at your own kitchen table drinking tea some afternoon when you are 40. Anytime.)—I want to say back.

  1st I love you.

  2. You never let me down.

  3. I know. I was there once. I too, was 40 and with a dead mother who I needed still. […]

  This is my message to the 40-year-old Linda. No matter what happens you were always my bobolink, my special Linda Gray. Life is not easy. It is awfully lonely. I know that. Now you too know it—wherever you are, Linda, talking to me. But I’ve had a good life—I wrote unhappy—but I lived to the hilt. You too, Linda—Live to the HILT! To the top. I love you, 40-year-old Linda, and I love what you do, what you find, what you are!—Be your own woman. Belong to those you love. Talk to my poems, and talk to your heart—I’m in both: if you need me. I lied, Linda. I did love my mother and she loved me. She never held me but I miss her, so that I have to deny I ever loved her—or she me! Silly Anne! So there!

  XOXOXO

  Mom

  Image Gallery

  “Anne as a baby—Sister (Blanche), hand (mother’s?),” c. 1929

  Grandfather Dingley’s “Aerie,” at Squirrel Island

  “Anne—on left as child in summer at Squirrel Island,” Maine

  Anne (left) with fane, Arthur Gray Staples, and Blanche at Squirrel Island cottage

  Anne, c. 1946–1948

  With friends at Rogers Hall, c. 1945–1947

  “Anne in Chicago nightclub at 17—with boy from Princeton—”

  “Anne at 17 at ranch in Montana—,” 1945

  Posing à la Jane Russell in The Outlaw

  “Kayo (20) and Anne (19)—outside church—just before our wedding—(forgot to pack white shoes)—Kayo forgot to pack his belt—see pants—August, 1948”

  Anne and Kayo at Virginia Beach on their honeymoon

  On a fishing trip, c. 1951–1952

  Anne’s mother, Mary Gray Harvey

  Anne with her father, Ralph Churchill Harvey

  Christmas 1952, with Joan, Kayo, Wilhelmine, and George Sexton. “Sexton family at Xmas 1953 (Am pregnant—a little—with Linda)”

  From Anne’s modeling portfolio, c. 1949–1951

  Anne returning home from hospital with her firstborn, Linda Gray, July 1953

  Pregnant with Joyce Ladd, 1955

  Holding Linda and Joy, 1955

  Anne, Kayo, and Linda in backyard at Newton, 1955

  The Sexton family, c. summer 1957

  Self-portrait, oil on board, c. 1950s

  Anne at Antioch workshop, with Hollis Summers and Ruth Soter, August 1958

  “posing—1961 or 1962”

  With James Wright, Long Island, August 1960

  Skinny-dipping in backyard, Newton, summer 1962

  “the Sun worshiper—1962”

  “day before I left for Europe—only Kayo smiling—only his face could lie—”, August 21, 1963

  “home from Europe, 1963—Halloween—”

  Capri, October 1963

  Anne in her new study, Weston, spring 1966

  With Tillie Olsen, in the study at 40 Clearwater Road, c. spring 1964

  Anne with Linda on rock in front of Weston home, c. 1966

  On safari. Tanzania, East Africa, August 1966

  In her study, after breaking hip, Christmas 1966

  By the pool, c. summer 1967

  On Maxine Kumin’s horse Xantippe, Highlawn Farm, Warner, New Hampshire, summer 1965

  Reading from “Eighteen Days Without You,” Phi Beta Kappa ceremony, Sanders Theater, Harvard University, June 1968

  Houghton Mifflin publication party for Love Poems: Paul Brooks, Anne, and Howard Moss, February 13, 1969

  With Marian Seldes, at Sardi’s, New York City, for opening night party of Mercy Street, October 1969

  Honorary Doctor of Letters, Tufts University, June 1971

  Index

  Accent, 34, 63

  Adcock, Fleur, 318

  “Addict, The,” 269

  Aerie, The, 4

  Africa, 299–300, 301, 366

  Aiken, Conrad, 102

  Albert, Sam, 58, 117–119

  Alexander, Thomas, 351, 353

  Algonquin Hotel, 336, 343, 346

  “All My Pretty Ones,” 64, 94, 303

  All My Pretty Ones, 87, 132, 137, 149, 157, 163, 165, 166, 274, 303

  Alvarez, A., 273

  Alfred, William, 51, 61, 383

  American Academy of Arts and Letters, 157, 303

  American Place Theater, 345

  American Poetry Review, The, 397, 401

  Ames Lois: 280, 281, 307–308, 344–345, 348, 378; and biography of Sylvia Plath, 261–262, 272, 299–300, 305–306, 307–308, 330; letters to, 261–262, 283–285, 297–298, 299–300, 305–306, 326–328, 329–330, 332–333, 336; and Mercy Street, 336–337, 344–345, 348

  Amsterdam, Anne’s 1963 visit to, 193–198

  Anderson, Lee, 89

  Anne on Anne (a course she taught at Colgate), 376

  Antioch Review, The, 33, 78

  Antioch Summer Writers’ Conference, 33, 34, 35, 36, 45, 53, 63, 67, 72, 74, 77, 78, 82, 83, 96

  Amherst, 120

  Anne Sexton and Her Kind, 326, 332

  “Assassin, The,” 332

  Anti-Vietnam Read-In, 290, 292

  Atlantic Monthly, The, 34, 360, 361, 377

  Audience, 34, 356

  Awful Rowing Toward God, The, 390, 391, 403, 415–416, 423

  Axelrod, Rise, 420–421

  Axelrod, Steven, 420–421

  Baldwin, James, 176


  “Ballad of the Lonely Masturbator, The,” 319

  Baltimore, Maryland, as Anne’s home in 1951, 21

  “Barefoot,” 319

  “Barfly Ought to Sing, The,” 272

  Barnes, Clive, 379

  Baro, Gene, 167

  Barth, John, 349, 384, 393

  Basie, Count, 418

  “Bat, The,” 410, 415

  Beauty Counselor, 29

  Beeler, Janet, 398

  “Before This,” 331

  Bellow, Saul, 102, 257

  Belmont, Massachusetts, 335

  Benedikt, Michael, 402

  Bennett, Joe, 53, 91, 95

  Berman, Morton, 376, 393

  Betjeman, John, 91

  Bingham, Sally, 314

  “Bird, The,” 89

  Bishop, Elizabeth, 94, 146, 376

  “Black Art, The,” 86, 284, 294

  Bly, Robert, 120, 300

  Book of Folly, The, 313, 361, 363, 368, 377, 382, 384, 410

  Booth, Philip, 64, 81

  Boothbay Harbor, Maine, as Anne’s childhood summer home, 4

  Boston, Massachusetts, 70, 73, 176, 238, 261

  Boston Center for Adult Education, 29

  Boston College, 120

  Boston Globe, The, 355

  Boston Herald, The, 146

  Boston University, 38, 39, 64, 130, 273, 348, 349, 350, 354, 376, 382, 393, 396, 401

  Boxer, (U.S. Navy aircraft carrier), 21

  Boylan, Mrs. Eleanor, 173, 188, 217

  Brandeis University, 111

  Brandt, Joan, 410–411, 415–416

  Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, 72, 82, 83

  “Break, The,” 304

  “Breast, The,” 283

  “Briar Rose,” 368

  Brinnin, John Malcolm, 64, 127, 309, 349

  Brooks, Paul, 132, 150, 165, 325, 357, 359–360, 361–363, 372–373, 408

  Browne, Michael Dennis, 333

  Brown’s Hotel, 308

  Brussels, 177–190

  “Buffoon, The,” 374

  “By Nameless Flesh,” 36–37, 52, 57

  Cape Cod Community College, 351

  Cambridge, Massachusetts, 4

  Capri, Italy, Anne’s visits to in 1963 and 1967, 220, 227, 299–300

  “Cardinal, A,” 76

  Cavalier Hotel, The, 16, 17, 247

  Charles Playhouse, 237, 253, 254

  Charles River, 69

  Chase, Dr. Constance, 314, 357–359, 400

  Chatto & Windus, 384

  Cheever, John, 355

  Chelsea, Massachusetts, 3

  Christ, Anne’s thoughts on, 45, 73, 125, 158, 253, 305, 368

  Christian Science Monitor, The, 30

  Christmas, 4, 49, 78, 129, 132, 149, 173, 277

  Ciletti, James, 334–335

  “Cinderella,” 367, 368

  “Curse Against Elegies, A,” 112

  Clarke, Anne, 390; letters to, 228–230, 231–232, 232–233, 234–236, 237–239, 239–242, 242–246, 248–251, 251–252, 252–253, 254–256, 258–260, 320–321, 348–349, 363–367

  Clawson, Robert, 315–317, 326, 332, 408

  Cochituate, Massachusetts, 21

  Colgate University, 18, 21, 375–376, 382

  College of William & Mary, 290

  Columbia University, Trustees, 309

  Compass Review, The, 30, 33

  Conant, Dr. Loring, 407

  Cornell, 143

  Cosmopolitan, 359

  “Courage,” 416

  Crawshaw Chair in Literature, 375–376

  Crime and Punishment, 115

  “Cripples and Other Stories,” 5, 296, 326

  Critical Quarterly, 327

  “Crossing the Atlantic,” 156, 174

  Crow, 369

  Cummings, E. E., 152

  Daisy (heroine of Mercy Street), 250–251, 253, 337, 347

  “Dancing the Jig,” 89, 102

  Davison, Peter, 146, 148, 151

  “Day for Anne Frank, A,” 331

  Death Notebooks, The, 361, 363, 368, 390, 392, 402, 403, 406

  “December 17th,” 324

  DeCordova Museum, 327, 332

  Degener, Claire S., 252–253, 285–287, 317, 356–357, 360–361, 363, 410–411, 415–416

  Dickinson, Emily, 263

  Dickey, James, 163, 166–167, 274–275, 275–278, 282–283, 351, 353, 354, 361, 416

  Didion, Joan, 366

  Dietz, Dr. Samuel, 225, 240–241, 243, 244, 245, 249, 251, 259, 264, 294, 298, 305, 313, 314, 330, 332, 340

  Dingley, Anna Ladd, 5, 16, 22, 41, 148, 176–177, 394

  Dingley, Nelson, 3

  “Division of Parts, The,” 64, 79, 80, 81

  “Don’t,” 331

  Dorchester, Massachusetts, 178

  Dostoyevsky, Fyodor, 115, 116

  Duhamel, P. Albert, 146

  “Double Image, The,” 28, 42, 43, 44, 46, 47–48, 63, 65, 72, 128, 168, 247, 248

  Duval, Betsy, 408

  Dream of Governors, A, 95

  Easter, 37

  Eggs of Things, 147, 151

  Ehrhardt, Dr. Florence, 403–404, 409

  “Eighteen Days Without You,” 324

  Eliot, T. S., 262

  “Elizabeth Gone,” 31, 47

  Elliot, George, 91

  Elliot, Mary Emma, 92

  Encounter, 111

  Enright, D. J., 413

  Epoch, 46

  Erikson, Erik, 366

  Ernst, Rita E., 173, 259

  Esquire, 356

  Europe, 114; letters from Anne while in, 156–221, 225

  “Evil,” 10

  Fairfield University, 313

  “Farmer’s Wife,” 36

  Farrell, Brother Dennis: letters to, 124–125, 129–130, 135–138, 140–141, 141–146, 148–149, 151–154, 158–162, 171, 306

  Faulkner, William, 116

  “Faustus and I,” 410

  Ferry, David, 64

  Fiddlehead, The, 30, 33

  Fifties, The, 120

  “Firebombers, The,” 327

  Fitts, Dudley, 104, 309

  Fitzgerald, Ella, 418

  “Flee on Your Donkey,” 144, 224, 295

  Florence, Italy, Anne’s visit to, in 1963, 211–214

  Florke, Otto and Trudel, 201

  Ford, Anne, 314

  Ford, Harry, 52, 61, 67

  Ford Foundation Grant, 114, 195, 237, 241, 303

  “For Eleanor Boylan Talking with God,” 145

  “For Johnny Pole on the Forgotten Beach,” 33, 34

  “For John, Who Begs Me Not to Enquire Further,” 58

  “For My Lover, Returning to His Wife,” 319

  For the Union Dead, 38, 302

  “For the Year of the Insane,” 157, 260

  “Fortress, The,” 132, 375

  45 Mercy Street, 392, 403, 416

  Foster, Lucy, 247

  Frank, Anne, 194, 297, 323

  “Freak Show, The,” 397–398

  Freedgood, Anne, 34

  Freedman, Ralph, 34

  Freeman, Arthur, 350

  Friebert, Diane, 398

  Frost, Robert, 49

  Frost, Robert, The Fellowship, 82

  Fuller, Mrs. Willard, 146–148

  “Fury of Bones, The,” 378

  “Fury of Cocks, The,” 378

  “Fury of Cooks, The,” 378

  “Fury of Overshoes, The,” 378

  “Fury of Sundays, The,” 378

  “Fury of Sunsets, The,” 378

  Gallagher, Anne, 375

  Gardner, Isabella, 64

  Galrand, School, The, 12, 13, 15

  Geffen, Felicia, 226–228

  Gide, André, 116

  Ginsberg, Allen, 308

  “Ghost, The,” 410

  Gloucester, Massachusetts, 66

  God, Anne’s thoughts on, 137, 142, 145, 153, 235, 256, 285, 343, 346, 366–369, 397, 398, 414–415

  “Godfather Death,” 359

  Goetz, Dorianne, 260
–261, 262–263, 309

  “Gold,” 401

  Gold, Hebert, 93

  “Gold Key, The,” 350, 361

  Gotham Hotel, The, 89

  “Gothic Heads,” 374

  Goucher College; 282, 283, 423

  Grimm, Brothers, 350, 352, 362, 367, 371, 373

  Guardini, 125

  Guggenheim Fellowship, The, 88, 92, 95, 101, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 149, 336, 348, 399

  Hall, Donald, 47, 401

  Hamilton, New York, 18, 19

  Hampshire College, 402

  Handloss, Patricia, 390

  Handman, Wynn, 337

  Hankinson, Hank, 357

  “Hansel and Gretel,” 350, 359, 368

  Hardwick, Elizabeth, 135, 170, 171

  Harper’s Magazine, 34, 67, 92, 260, 360, 361

  Harris, David, 354

  Hart Agency, 21

  Harvard, Advocate, The, 131, 135

  Harvard Literary Club, 403

  Harvard University, 90, 135, 324

  Harvey, Blanche (Anne’s sister), 3, 4, 5, 13, 16

  Harvey, Jane (Anne’s sister), 4, 5, 13

  Harvey, Mary Gray Staples (Anne’s mother), 392–393; letters to, 13–15, 16–17, 19–20, 31–33; personal history of, 3, 6, 13, 16, 45, 51, 54, 58, 64, 66, 68; and poetry, 12, 29, 30, 31–33; and The Tender Heart Club, 40–41

  Harvey, Ralph Churchill (Anne’s father): death of, 81; letters to, 13, 16, 19; personal history of, 3, 5, 6, 12, 21, 31, 44, 45, 51

 
Anne Sexton's Novels