She sets her book aside and I can’t help but grin. Now we’re getting somewhere.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting your attention. Is it working?”
“I don’t reward bad behavior.”
“Maybe you should punish me,” I suggest lasciviously.
“Fine. Leave.”
I drop onto the foot of her bed, causing it to bounce. Her notebooks slide across the comforter and she groans.
“You know you don’t really want me to go,” I say.
“Oh?”
I nod, trailing my finger over a wrinkle in the blanket. “You want me to stay.”
“Really?” She laughs dryly. “And what else do I want? Since you’ve suddenly become an expert.”
“You want to put your books away,” I say. I scoop up several papers and drop them over my shoulder. They flutter to the floor. Annie’s eyes widen with disbelief, but she doesn’t say anything.
“You also want to kiss me,” I add as I push the books sitting between us out of the way. “And you want me to kiss you.”
“You sound very sure of yourself.” Her cheeks are softly turning a satisfying shade of pink. I wiggle my finger at her, beckoning her to me. She hesitates for only a second before leaning in.
“Hopeful,” I correct. “I was very hopeful.” I tuck my hand behind her neck and guide her closer until she’s near enough to kiss.
And then I kiss her, kneading my hands down her back to her waist. I pull her against me, rolling as I do, so she’s lying on my chest. She laughs lightly, but it fades quickly as she begins kissing me back.
There’s never been a time I didn’t enjoy kissing. I pretty much jumped right on that shit and liked it from the start when I was fourteen. But when I kiss Annie, I feel like I’m doing it for the first time. I get that nervous excitement, tightening my stomach and making my heart race. Every single time feels new. And I love it. I swear the girl has crack in her lip gloss because I am so addicted to her mouth.
I could kiss her all day.
And all night.
Her fingers work into my shirt, running over my stomach. My muscles flex automatically in response. She pulls back and sighs sadly.
“I really should study. I need to take notes and make a study guide.”
I groan in protest. “You study too much.”
She sits up, her expression torn. Shit. I don’t want her to end up getting a B on a test and blaming me for ruining her four-point-O GPA. “Compromise,” I say. “I’ll take my shirt off and you can write your notes on me.”
Her lips lift into a smile—one of those rare ones that’s all teeth and happiness. “Write my notes on you?”
“Yeah. Make me your study guide. That way I still have your hands on me, you can enjoy my body, and you’re still studying.” I grin. “And who knows? I might actually learn something, too.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“I like to think of myself more as apt.”
She arches a brow as she regards me. The longer she stares at me, the pinker her cheeks get, and I know I’ve won.
“Take your shirt off.”
~*~
I’m covered in Annie’s handwriting, but it was totally worth it. If she would let me take notes on her, I’d be acing all my classes. I think I’ll suggest it to her. After all, it made for one hell of a study hour. I kind of hope it doesn’t wash off.
I drop onto my bed and can’t help but to smile. I am so damn happy right now. I don’t care that Annie wants to keep us quiet. I don’t care that I don’t know how to categorize our relationship. I don’t even care that I’m in love with her and she doesn’t know it.
Because I think she loves me too.
This is enough. Whatever this is, whatever we are—it’s enough.
My phone rings and I’m surprised to see Park’s name on the caller ID. Between Lucy, the baby, school, and all the extra gigs he’s picked up, I barely talk to him anymore.
“Hey, man. What’s up?”
“I will give you my entire savings account if you babysit for me. Just an hour.” He pauses. “Two. Two hours. Please. Emari hasn’t been sleeping well and I haven’t had any alone time with Lucy. Our schedules actually match for the first time in two weeks. Two. Weeks. I’m begging you.”
I never thought I’d be having this conversation with Park. Park. Of all people. He sounds so mature. So grown up. So…much like a dad.
“Sure. And I won’t hold you to the savings account.”
“Good, because there isn’t anything in it anyway. Kids, man. Expensive.”
I chuckle because as much as I love Emari, I’m glad as hell it’s not me. “When you dropping her off?” I might be able to get Guy over here with me to get his baby time in.
“Now.”
“Now?”
“Two weeks, Chase.”
“Got it. I’m home. Bring my little angel over and tell Lucy she owes me a plate of cookies.”
“Dude, I can guarantee she’ll make you a four course meal for doing this.”
~*~
Emari’s sleeping on my chest when Annie calls. I don’t know what Park was talking about with her not sleeping well. That’s pretty much all she’s done since she got here. I saw her eyes for about fifteen minutes while we watched Barney on Netflix, and then she was out like a light. There’s just something about a giant purple dinosaur.
“Hello?”
“Hey,” Annie says. “Just checking in.”
“How was studying after I left?”
“Extremely boring.”
“I’m more than willing to help make it more interesting for you anytime you want.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You better.”
“Why are you whispering?”
“Because I have a gorgeous girl sleeping on my chest and I don’t want to wake her.” I smile at the pregnant pause, waiting for her reaction.
“What?” she asks, her voice low, tone clipped.
“A very beautiful six-month old. You really believed I’d have another girl on my chest?”
“No,” she says quickly.
“Admit it,” I murmur, “you were jealous.”
“I was not. I don’t get jealous.”
“You do and you were.”
She sighs dramatically and I can hear the smile in her voice when she says, “Okay. Maybe a tiny bit.”
“I knew it.”
“It doesn’t mean anything,” she adds.
“Okay.”
“It doesn’t.”
“Okay. I totally believe you.”
“You’re so annoying.”
“I think the word you’re looking for is sexy. I am so sexy.”
“And annoying.”
“As long as we agree I’m sexy,” I reply.
“Begrudgingly, we do.”
I carefully fix the small fleece blanket over Emari’s back before I say, “I wish you were here.” Because I do. I always wish I was with her.
“Why?” God, she says it like she truly can’t understand it and it makes me want to tell her. To make her understand I love her. But I don’t. The opening’s right there, but I don’t take it.
“Because I’d kiss you.”
“I wish I was there too.”
“Then you should be. I’ll come get you when my date leaves.”
“Okay,” Annie murmurs. “And Chase?”
“Yeah?”
She’s quiet for a moment. I wait patiently, knowing it’ll be worth it. When Annie struggles over her words, it’s because it’s coming from the heart—a place she isn’t comfortable revealing.
“I don’t want any girl to sleep on your chest unless it’s Emari. Or me.”
Now I’m quiet, stunned she admitted that.
“Neither do I.”
43
Clocks
Annie
I’m wearing a maroon dress and matching heels. I’ve kept my make-up minimal for once—mascara and l
ip gloss only. My hair is down, loose and natural. I’m not sure what shocks me more—that it took me only twenty minutes to get ready, or that I’m willing to go to a wedding like this, where pictures will surely be taken, just because Chase prefers me like this.
I shake my head at my reflection. She doesn’t look so bad. What I normally would find plain, like her limp hair, now seems to be the feature making her appear more interesting. It’s full and wavy, and completely untamed.
Her eyes seem brighter, her smile wider. Her cheeks are flushed and she looks…not so bad. Happy even.
I tear the post-its from my mirror, one at a time, revealing more and more of this girl. The new Annie.
Chase’s Annie.
The thought causes the butterflies in my belly to awaken. They flutter round and round, a tornado of emotions in the pit of my stomach.
I’m Chase’s Annie.
Because…I love him.
No. Is that what this is?
I close my eyes and huff out a dry laugh. That’s exactly what this is. He’s my one. How did he say that before? The one person we connect to on a higher level? That makes us feel safe? That feels like home? He’s always been that person for me. For as long as I can remember.
Chase is my one.
I open my eyes, irritated with myself. I think I knew this all along, but I was so scared. I made excuses. Denied it. Tried to get over it.
I’m not sure you can get over love. Not when it’s real. And now what Chase was trying to explain to me makes sense. Some relationships don’t work because those people aren’t really in love. They may think they are, they may care deeply, but if they aren’t willing to make it work—fight for each other—then maybe it was never real. But when it is, that’s all you need. Because regardless of the life I’ve dreamt of having since I was a little girl, I’d live penniless with Chase in a heartbeat. No, love doesn’t pay the electric bill, but there isn’t anybody I’d rather be in the dark with.
And Chase, he’s been living in the dark with me for so long. I just didn’t realize it.
My reflection stares back at me in wonder.
The man is right. He’s a freaking genius.
It all comes down to love.
The knock on my door pauses my reeling thoughts and I hurry to answer it. I can’t hide the disappointed sigh when I see a smiling Hope on the other side.
“Good to see you too,” she quips.
“Sorry.” I shake my head and smile. “I was just hoping you were someone else. Not that I’m not happy to see you.”
Arching a dark brow, Hope regards me curiously. “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
She holds her palm out, making a wide gesture at me. “You look different. You seem excited. And you were hoping for whom, exactly, to be at your door?”
I bite down on my lip, trying to decide how much I want to tell her. It would be so nice to spill my guts for once and get another female’s thoughts. “How long do we have?”
“Everyone’s waiting in the car.”
I nod. “Later then.”
Her lips pucker into a pout. “Fine. But at least tell me who you wanted to be at your door.”
I pick up my clutch and double check to verify I have everything I need, grab the card I picked up for Park and Lucy, and slip out the door. “If I tell you, no comments or questions until we can talk later.”
“Okay,” she says, intrigued, and—uncharacteristic of Hope—excited.
I turn to her nervously and press my lips together. I’m trying to find the courage to say it, but my mouth isn’t cooperating. She pokes me in my side, her finger jabbing a rib, and I jump.
“Tell me.”
I close my eyes so I don’t have to see her reaction as I mutter, “Chase. I was hoping you were Chase.”
I don’t know what I was expecting—maybe a shocked gasp, or a rant, maybe laughter—but Hope is completely silent. I open my eyes slowly, peering at her. And she’s grinning widely. I smile in response, relieved.
It feels so good to finally admit. To share this with Hope.
“And I’m not allowed to comment?”
“No.”
“Does Chase know?”
“Yes.” I make a face. He knows, but he doesn’t understand the extent of my feelings. How incredibly deep they run. That I love him. That I’m in love with him. “Kind of.”
“Does Guy know?”
“No,” I answer quickly, my eyes widening. “Don’t tell him. Don’t tell anyone yet.”
She somehow manages to widen her grin. “I know before him? He’s going to be so pissed when he finds out,” she trills.
“You’re talking about it,” I hiss as we approach the car holding Guy, Mason, and Chase. “We had a deal—later.”
“Sorry. Done.” She shakes her limbs out like she’s trying to shake off the questions she’s dying to ask. “Just one more thing. I want you to know I’m happy for you. For both of you. And,” she smirks knowingly at me, “I saw this coming for years.” With that, she opens the door, and demands Guy moves to the backseat with her and Mason. He does it, unhappily, but he squeezes his long legs into the back, and I take his abandoned spot.
She saw this coming for years? I wish she would’ve told me. It could have saved me a lot of time and heartache. Who am I kidding? If she had ever mentioned it, I would have done everything in my power to prove her wrong.
Turning to look out his back window as he backs out of the parking space, Chase discreetly lays his fingers over top of mine. I fight a smile, my earlier realization sitting on the tip of my tongue.
I’m in deep.
With Chase of all people.
~*~
Laughter breaks out throughout the small hall as Park holds up his index finger, cutting off the clergyman, and hops off the steps. He takes his beautiful little girl, clothed in a frilly white dress, from an older woman I assume is probably Lucy’s mom.
Emari’s been fussing since they began taking their vows, clearly wanting her parents. As soon as his hands are on her, she quiets immediately, smiling sweetly. He holds her snuggly to his chest with one arm as he climbs the steps and once again takes his place beside Lucy.
Chase chuckles beside me, his finger trailing back and forth against my thigh between us. He leans into me, his mouth close to my ear, taking advantage of the distraction. “You look perfect,” he murmurs. I shiver as his breath caresses my skin.
“So do you,” I say, returning the compliment. He cleans up well in his black suit. However, this is Chase, so of course he’s wearing his old, black Converse. The look is all Chase—fun and sexy.
Perfect, like he said.
“As much as I like your dress, I really can’t wait to get you out of it.” He smirks with wicked amusement.
My muscles clench, tightening with the promise of what’s to come. We’ve continued to do everything short of making love to each other, but I think I might be ready. It’s getting more and more difficult to abstain from that one act, especially when it’s always on my mind.
I make sure my lips touch his ear when I whisper, “I’m counting down the clock.”
He grins. “I’m sure someone’s recording the ceremony. We could sneak out right now.”
“I don’t reward bad behavior,” I remind him, trying to hide my smile.
“You really should,” he sighs.
I keep my eyes on the front of the room, trying my damndest to pay attention. He is so distracting. Not just the way his fingers maintain their torturous caress of my thigh, but his proximity alone. He smells so good and I can feel the warmth coming off his body. It’s driving me crazy.
“You may kiss the bride,” the clergyman declares loudly. Park leans in, pressing his lips to Lucy’s, and applause erupts. I follow with unexpected tears in my eyes.
I feel Chase’s gaze on me. I look at him sideways and he bumps his shoulder gently into mine, grinning. I press my lips together and blink the moisture away.
&nbs
p; Park steps back, and taking a cue from everyone else, Emari claps happily in his arms, causing her parents to laugh.
They did it.
They’re a family. A perfectly imperfect little family.
44
Moonshine
Chase
Annie leans forward, standing on the tips of her toes to capture my lips as soon as we step in the door. And I let it happen. I welcome it. I’ve been thinking about this exact moment all night. She tastes sweet, like the soft, fruity tang of the champagne we were all sipping on.
I angle her head, deepening the kiss. A sound emanates from her throat and my body responds to the noise naturally, echoing it as if we’re having a conversation. And we are, in a way, communicating. Every touch that she reacts to, every moan, every gasp, encourages me to do it again. To take it a little farther. I’m telling her how much she means to me. How much I want her. How much I care.
“Chase,” she sighs, her voice so low and slow with desire, I swear I feel it in every inch of my body. Her fingers work at the buttons of my dress shirt. Her hands are shaking, so I close mine over top of them, bringing them up to my mouth. I place a lingering kiss into each smooth palm before I drop them to remove my shirt.
Annie’s eyes trail over my chest, pausing on my stomach before she finds my face again. I can’t help but grin at her. I know she likes what she sees, her gaze devouring me with a ravenous hunger. One I hope to satisfy tonight.
When she looks at me like this, my whole body reacts immediately, every muscle contracting and rippling with a ferocious craving. An aching.
I want her so badly.
I need her.
I step forward, reaching unhurriedly behind her. I sweep her long, unruly hair to the side, enjoying the soft strands as they move through my fingers. Unzipping her dress slowly is agonizing, but I want her to know exactly what I’m doing. Where I’m going. And give her time to change her mind if she needs to.
I want her to know I’m not like the other guys she’s been with. I won’t be pissed if she needs to stop. I can wait longer. I want her, but I want her enough to wait.