He caught Lil watching with fascination and actually blushed. “That’s how you make me feel,” he said simply.
Lil almost knocked over her box of supplies, catching it at the last second. She looked at her own sketch and wondered what he thought of the fact that she hadn’t included him in it at all. She had drawn herself, serious and determined, looking miserable with Colby clutched in her arms while she chased Abby. She wasn’t even entirely sure what the scene meant, only that it had poured out of her and now stared back at her, revealing something she wasn’t sure she wanted to discuss with Jake.
Jake studied her sketch for a moment and said, “Don’t take an office job, Lil.”
She searched his face.
“You’re already the mother Colby needs.”
Lil looked quickly at her child, who was licking the green paint off one finger, then back to Jake. “I’m not, Jake. I haven’t been the person I need to be, but I am changing that.” She thought about how part of becoming a better person had involved killing any chance that something real could develop between them. Forgetting, even for a moment, that her friends were using this time to access Jake’s private accounts would only lead to more heartache. She had to remember that none of this was real.“The older I get the more I wonder if anyone has the answers or if, like me, they are just doing the best they can and praying every day that it’s enough.”
The seriousness of her response set Jake back on his heels. He opened and closed his mouth without saying a word.
Carmen had gone from mother to mother and discussed each creation with the novice artists, until she came to Jake and Lil. She correctly interpreted the tension between the two and took them by surprise by reaching out and taking each of them by one hand. For an uncomfortable moment, she simply held them and then nodded without saying anything, giving each hand a comforting squeeze before letting go.
Carmen returned to the front of the group and began to share her observations, but Lil wasn’t listening. She was lost in her reaction to Jake’s sketch and in his response to hers. Of course, someone like him would think she had options besides taking a job she already dreaded, but that only highlighted how little they had in common. Although it was flattering to be considered someone who added color to his life, she’d already made her choice.
His picture would have been quite different had she confessed the real reason they were together that day. Would it have shown her being led to the gallows? Or, just as painful, would she simply not have shown up at all?
How did betrayal look in charcoal?
Colby let out a cry of frustration and Lil had never been so happy to have an event interrupted.
“She’s probably hungry,” Lil said as she headed toward her child. She used the supplies provided to clean Colby off and put her back in her stroller, then gave her address to the instructor who said the artwork would be mailed to her.
The visiting artist approached her. “Lil, right?”
“Yes,” she said, not really wanting to engage in a conversation with someone who had seen more than she showed most people.
“Your work was very moving,” Carmen said.
Lil dismissed the comment as polite small talk. “Thank you. I’ve always enjoyed sketching, just for fun. Nothing serious.”
Carmen continued, “You captured a lot of emotion in just a few crisp lines. You have a gift. You might want to explore it.”
Anger flooded in and added bite to Lil’s words. “I’m taking a different road; one that I’m happy about.”
The artist did not waver. “Honor the message you heard today, both from yourself and your man.”
“He’s not…”
Carmen smiled and shook her head. “Art never lies.”
Unlike me, Lil wanted to say.
Alethea and Jeremy had better be finished whatever the heck they were doing because she needed to end this date. It was simply too painful.
Lil was double checking that she had everything she’d come with when Jake walked over to join her. Lil said, “Well, this was…” She paused. Painful? Awful? Torture? “Nice,” she finished lamely.
He rolled one of her loose curls around his finger. “When I imagined this date last night, you were smiling at this point.”
Lil tried but failed.
Confusion swirled within her. Was she hoping Jake was innocent so she could believe the side of him that he was showing her today? Or that he was guilty so she would feel less awful about what she’d done? Neither outcome held much comfort for her.
He put an arm gently around her waist and together they thanked everyone and exited the room. Jake guided her out of the building and onto the sidewalk. “Are you ready for lunch?” he asked.
“I really should be getting home. Colby will need a bottle and a nap…”
With his arm still around Lil, Jake said, “Just one more place. Then I promise to deposit you back at your penthouse. Do you have formula with you?”
She considered making an excuse why she couldn’t go, but today was already more of a lie than she could stomach. “Yes.”
“Let’s walk then,” Jake said.
They stopped in front of the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, the once private home of a woman who had collected art from all over the world and donated the building along with her collection to the city. Although the building had undergone renovations and modern additions had been added, Jake led her to an old entrance.
“Have you been here before?” he asked as they entered the museum and were instantly met by someone who ushered them down a dark hallway and through various rooms that were filled with an eclectic and mostly unlabeled art collection. Normally Lil would have asked to stop to savor some of the many works, but she was determined to end this day at the first opportunity.
When the inner courtyard came into view she almost forgot everything beyond its beauty. Stepping into the long, rectangular courtyard revealed the true an Italian-styled palazzo that had once been nothing more than a private home of a very eccentric and wealthy woman. The garden was a visual feast of flowers, statues, and old world architecture. Elegantly dressed staff met them as they entered the area and led them to a sole table set up at one end of the courtyard, hidden from public view by flowers but positioned so that once seated they would still have an incredible view of the area. Candles lit what would have otherwise been a darkened corner.
Lil had heard of the museum before and the quirky history of the woman who had built it and then donated the building to the city. She’d always meant to come see it, but somehow never had. She was reasonably certain, however, that the courtyard was normally closed to the public. Of course it wasn’t closed to Jake. She didn’t imagine many places in the world were.
Colby’s needs overshadowed the romance of the location at first. Lil sought a place to change her, then asked the staff to help her prepare a bottle. Jake sat across from Lil, appearing to wait patiently while she fed her daughter and then settled her down into the stroller for a nap.
When Lil finally settled back into her seat, she expected Jake to be irritated with her, but found him looking rather pleased with himself instead. He said, “I had a cook prepare a meal for us. I hope you like beef tenderloin. Normally, I would ask for your preference, but it would have ruined the surprise.”
He accepted a glass of wine from the staff, tasted it and nodded in acceptance of it. “Do you like it?” he gestured with the glass to the area around them. The server offered to fill Lil’s glass, but she shook her head. The last thing she needed was to relax her tongue.
Do I like it?
The setting was unimaginably beautiful, the staff was attentive yet unobtrusive, and the space provided enough quiet for her daughter to sleep while they ate. Who wouldn’t love being treated like visiting royalty?
Only a woman who had no right to enjoy it.
She couldn’t look him in the eye. “It’s beautiful,” she said.
He took both of her hands in his and waited for her
look up from the table. When she finally did he said, “Why do I get the feeling that there is something wrong?”
“Today was beautiful, Jake. I mean that. The way you included Colby into our day together…” She motioned to the garden around them and the staff that perked up as soon as her hand raised. “All this...”
“Your daughter is your priority.” His expression held a bit of longing.
Why are you making this so hard? “You have to see how this wouldn’t work.”
“Why? Because I don’t love you?”
Ouch.
Lil pulled her hands out of his. “There’s that.”
He opened his napkin and placed it on his lap. “Love is a myth perpetuated by people who don’t have anything better to believe in. You’re fantastic in bed, you make me laugh, and I enjoy your company. That’s enough for me.”
Sadly, he probably meant what he was saying.
“That sounds like the last, valiant declaration of a man about to lose his heart completely,” she scoffed.
Instead of brushing her comment off or picking up the challenge, he gave her that steady, unblinking look she was beginning to understand meant that his mind was set to his course. “Maybe,” he answered.
More on the subject was interrupted by the food arriving. Delicious as it looked, Lil couldn’t imagine putting anything into her churning stomach. She finally toyed with a piece of beef enough to bring it to her lips.
“Move in with me,” he said calmly.
Lil dropped the fork to her plate with a loud clatter along with the meat she hadn’t tasted. “We discussed this.”
The strong set of his jaw and the proud look in his eyes told her that he wasn’t going to let her brush the topic aside. “Not because you might be pregnant. Move in because you want to fall asleep in my arms at night and wake up next to me each morning.”
Lil hedged, “I have Colby…”
He said, “Don’t hide behind her. You know I could more than take care of both of you. She would have the best of everything.”
Except his love and what kind of life would that be for either of them? “For how long?” Lil asked.
He shrugged. “If you’re looking for promises, I don’t have any. If it’s your financial future you’re worried about, I’ll have my lawyers draw up some sort of settlement to remove that concern.”
There’s the Jake I know. Lil tossed her napkin onto the table and stood. “Wow, you’re about as romantic as my car service plan.”
“Sit down. Lil,” he said in a tone that probably worked on people who cared about pleasing him.
Lil was unimpressed. She leaned one hand onto the table and looked him straight in the eye. “No, I will not sit down. Did you seriously just offer me a settlement to ease my pain on the day–whichever day you choose–when you throw me out?”
His explanation was lacking. “It’s quite common to think about…”
Lil gathered her purse, took her baby stroller by the handle and started to leave. So as not to disturb Colby, she lowered her voice, but her tone remained angry. “Maybe it’s common in your world. Not mine. I’m one of those poor sops, I suppose, who has nothing better to believe in than…than…”
He blocked her exit. “You can’t even say the word and you think I’m the one with the problem?”
She sucked a breath in harshly, her hands flexing on the handle of her stroller. “Fine. You’re right. I’m too screwed up to accept your offer. Luckily for you, there are probably a hundred women within yelling distance who would jump at your offer. Ask one of them. Now get out of my way.”
“I don’t want them.” His jaw set, he planted his feet and continued to block her path. “I want you.”
Lil could be just as stubborn. “We all want things we can’t have, Jake. That’s reality. Now, seriously, don’t make me ask someone for help to get past you.”
He stepped aside. “I’ll drive you home,” he growled.
“No,” she said and held a hand in front of him. “You’ll give me my keys and find your own ride to wherever you’re going – hopefully New York.”
Smooth Jake was struggling to contain his growing frustration with her. Impatiently he dug the keys out of the front pocket of his shorts, but did not immediately give them to her. “If you’re sure that is what you want.”
Lil simply maintained her stance. What she wanted didn’t matter; she knew what she had to do. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, tell him everything, and accept his pitiful offer. She wanted to believe that despite what he said, he was already half in love with her. And against all common sense, she wanted to think that he could forgive her if she told him the truth.
Wanting wasn’t enough.
And it certainly didn’t make his last offer any less insulting.
“Lil,” he said and paused as his cell phone rang. He checked it quickly. “I have to take this.”
Unable to stop herself, she said, “Maybe it’s your lawyer and you can tell him to leave the name blank for now on that settlement form.”
His phone rang again. He answered his phone, but mouthed to Lil, “This is not over.”
Yes, it is, Lil thought. I’m not doing this again.
She was almost through the roped area that led to the rest of the museum when she heard Jake completely lose his cool for the first time since she’d met him. His voice boomed through the courtyard. “What the hell? I thought you’d beefed up our firewall in anticipation of something like this. I’m absolutely coming back–right now. And I’m going to find out how this happened.”
Lil stepped up her pace.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
This was exactly why he didn’t believe in acting impulsively.
He should have been in New York, in his office, on top of the situation and keeping his team on high alert. There was absolutely no excuse for something like this happening, but there was an explanation.
He’d let his lust for Lil cloud his judgment and distract him when he most needed to be focused on saving Corisi Enterprises.
I’m no better than Dominic. We both deserve to be flipping burgers next year if we screw this up.
What was it about those Dartley women?
For just a moment, he entertained the possibility that they could have been planted by the competition. Did Stephan’s initial plot against Dominic include gaining their trust and then taking both men out of the picture via the oldest trick in the book?
No, not only were Lil and Abby likely the most thoroughly background checked women in the country, but he pictured Lil putting him in his place the very first night he’d met her and smiled. Lil would make an awful mole. She said whatever was on her mind. She might be frustrating as hell–but she was no liar.
The weight of responsibility lay squarely on his shoulders. He’d watched Dominic check out of reality after he lost his father over a month ago and there was no sign that he’d be checking back in any time soon.
Getting involved with Lil right now was irresponsible, ill-advised, and all he’d been able to think about this past week. Why couldn’t she just move in with him and remove the fascination of it all? Familiarity was the most likely antidote to what was beginning to feel like an obsession.
Mentioning the settlement had been a mistake. She was wavering until he’d tossed that tidbit into the ring.
Maladroit comments were out of character for him. So was asking a woman to move in with him; never mind practically begging her to.
What was happening to him?
He wasn’t sure how to move forward with Lil.
He had no idea how to make Dominic see how close they were to losing everything.
But there was one area he was still certain of. He was going to find out who had hacked into his personal computer and whoever it was he was going to crush them financially, and quite possibly, physically. Never before had he understood the lure of violence, but right about now the urge to punch someone was surging within him.
Pulling up to the b
uilding that housed her new apartment, Lil decided that it was too beautiful of a day to hide away inside so she handed her keys to the valet and took her daughter to a local park. She was pushing Colby lightly back and forth in one of the baby swings when her phone rang.
She almost didn’t answer it.
What am I afraid of? Really, how much worse could today get?
Alethea’s voice exploded from the phone as soon as Lil answered. “Lil, I’ve got good news for you.”
Considering the source, that was highly unlikely.
“I could use some, Al.” Lil sighed and pushed her daughter’s swing again.
“I don’t think they’re doing anything illegal. Everything points more to damage control. Looks like our friends are in scramble mode to fix something. My guess is it has something to do with that Chinese server Dominic has scheduled to unveil next month. Jake’s good, though. Nothing in his email was specific.”
“So the good news is that Dominic is having some huge server issue?” It didn’t sound like anything to celebrate.
“No the good news is that my instincts are still sharp. There is definitely something going on, but it doesn’t sound like anything that will endanger your sister.”
So Jake isn’t a criminal.
Lil scrambled to piece together what it all meant. How would their date this morning have ended if she’d never doubted him? Could she blame Jake for thinking their relationship might not last when she ended every encounter with him by telling him that she never wanted to see him again?
I keep thinking that Jake is the one who is wrong, the one who has to change, but what if it’s me? What if I could have had everything but lost it because I was too scared to trust that something that wonderful could happen to me? Never knowing the answer to that would be the price she’d pay for believing the worst of Jake again and again. “I’m heading down to New York in the morning. I’ve changed my mind. I don’t think you should go.” Lil balanced the phone on her shoulder while she released her daughter from the swing and returned her to the stroller.