I always ended up being the mature one. Maybe I just wasn’t the horsing-around type, or it could have been that my history made me more serious. Either way, the bookstore was becoming a bit of a downer. All I thought about was Wes, all day, every day. Was I obsessed with him? Probably. Was that wrong? I don’t think so.
If he wasn’t meant to be the center of my world, then why did I keep coming back to be with him? No, obsessed was not a bad thing in my mind. It was simply the truth. He was my past, my present, and my future, and other than the safety of my mom and friends, nothing else mattered, including an annoying new attention sponge named Chase, who was cramping my style.
I had to separate the bookstore from my personal life, because if I didn’t, I found myself griping about it the entire ride home with Wes. So I learned to block out the annoyances of work as soon as I got into his car. Wes wasn’t even in the same league as a regular teen or college boy, and he made it a point not to even step onto the playing field. That was until Chase pressed his buttons.
Wes dropped me off one day at work, as usual, and Chase was outside smoking a cigarette. We pulled right up to the front, and I leaned over to give him a good-bye kiss.
“I miss you already,” I complained.
He smiled softly.
I kissed him again and turned to get out when I noticed Chase staring intently through the windshield. Peeping Tom. Then I realized this was something different because, when caught, peeping Toms look away quickly. Chase was still staring—but not at me.
I followed his gaze to Wes, who was staring back.
“See you later,” I muttered, dreading going in, wondering who called in sick this time.
Without taking his eyes off of Chase, he said, “Call me.”
“Will do,” I said, shutting the door.
I walked past Chase, wondering what his problem was. He took one long drag on his cigarette without looking away from Wes. Once inside, I turned back to see Wes backing out of the space, certain that Chase was still watching him. Dawn was there, which meant Danny was the one MIA.
“Where is Danny?”
“Where is Danny?” she repeated. “Since when are you Danny’s keeper?”
“Since it means I have to work with him.” I tilted my head toward the door.
She laughed, following me to the back room. “He’s not that bad.”
“Yeah, right.” I checked to make sure he wasn’t coming. “He gives me the creeps.”
“Why? He’s just a goofball.”
“Yeah, with you. With me, I don’t know. He’s always looking at me like he’s trying to figure something out. Not to mention he just spied on me and Wes kissing in the car.” Maybe I was being overly sensitive. But still. “I just miss Ms. Mary.”
“Yeah, me too. But, you have to admit, he brings some flavor to the store. It was getting way boring for me before.”
She may have had a point, but I kind of like boring. There’s nothing wrong with peace.
I relished the thought and put my purse away.
As if on cue, Chase interrupted. “Is one of you going to work the register, or what? A lady wants to check out, and I can’t count, so it’s one of you two.”
Dawn laughed, as always, and that time I couldn’t help but join her. Even though it was probably true, that was not why he wasn’t able to check people out. Mr. Healey never trained him on the register. He only used him for stocking and inventory-type stuff.
Actually, the more I thought about it, Mr. Healey probably didn’t trust him at the register. How did he get the job anyway? Oh, right. Danny.
I volunteered for the register and was reminded of his filthy habit when the fresh scent of cigarette smoke wafted off his shirt as I passed him in the doorway. I had never liked the smell of cigarettes, and now I hated it since Andy had reeked of it.
“Excuse me,” I said, holding my breath.
Pretending he didn’t know he was in my way, he stepped back, then forward, then finally to the side, his square dance over. Dawn probably would’ve found that funny too. Not me. I preferred to breathe, which I resumed doing after I passed.
After ringing up the sale, I started straightening up behind the counter, something Dawn hated doing. Thankfully, Dawn kept Chase occupied by playing hide-and-seek in the aisles when there weren’t any customers. After about an hour, I got a text:
HOW’S YOUR PERSONAL SPACE?
I smiled. It seemed Mr. Chase’s little staring episode got on someone else’s nerves.
Taking the time to think of something clever, I responded:
TOO EMPTY. WANTS YOU.
SHOULD I COME NOW?
Mr. Healey wasn’t in. Sometimes he left in the evenings and came back to close if Danny wasn’t in. I could’ve asked Wes to come by, but it felt sort of selfish, especially when he was picking me up in a little while. Plus, for some reason, I didn’t really want him there when Chase was there. So I went with patience.
TWO MORE HOURS, TWENTY MINUTES, FIVE SECONDS AND COUNTING.
:) SEE YOU SOON. LOVE YOU.
U 2.
“Who’s that?”
“Geez.” I jumped and snapped my phone closed. Oh, my gosh.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” His unapologetic expression and continued proximity near my shoulder told me that he wasn’t.
“It’s my boyfriend.”
“Oh, I wondered. You looked so intent with those lightning-fast fingers.”
I turned around and straightened the already straight-ened flyers on the counter, hoping he’d take the hint. He didn’t.
“Actually, I came over to tell you I’m fighting this weekend. I think you should come.”
What? “Fighting? Um. I’m not really into that.”
“But it’s fun. You should come. I think Danny and Dawn are coming.”
“Maybe.”
“Okay.”
I turned in time to see him wink before walking off. The truth was I had no intention of going. None. Not until I got sucked into it.
After Wes picked me up, he drove me home and waited in my room while I took a shower. I no longer savored the bookstore smell anymore. Maybe it reminded me of all the unwanted changes there.
When I climbed into the bed, he was waiting with open arms. I unwound in no time, again reminded of my heaven on earth.
Unexpectedly, Wes jerked upright into a sitting position. “Oh, man. I forgot to e-mail Dr. Lyon.”
I glanced at my alarm clock, and it was 12:30 a.m. “About what?”
Sitting on the edge of the bed now, he slid out his QWERTY keyboard and began e-mailing from his phone. “I signed up last summer for a medical conference in Arizona. I need to cancel. I meant to do it earlier, but it slipped my mind.”
“Cancel? Why?”
He was typing away by then. “Because it’s this weekend. It’s on the use of alligator blood in creams. The lab is presenting.”
“So why aren’t you going?”
He turned, looking me in the eyes, and calmly and confidently answered. “Because I’m not leaving you for a weekend.”
As much as the reality of that sucked, I couldn’t let him give up all he had worked for to babysit me. “Wes, you shouldn’t cancel. You need to be there. It’s a huge breakthrough, and you shouldn’t miss your lab’s presentation.”
Pulling me over onto his lap, he put one arm around my waist and the other hand kept clicking away. “I have plenty of people who can go in my place. It’s not a big deal.”
I put my hand over his. “It is a big deal,Wes. Finding medical cures is your whole life. It’s your purpose.”
“No, you’re my purpose now, Sophie.”
“No, finding cures for the sick is your purpose. You are my purpose. And my duty tells me you should go.”
He stared at me in the blue glow of my alarm clock. I knew a million and one things were going through his mind, all related to my safety, so I used the only thing I could think of.
“Besides, Wes, I’m not n
ineteen yet.”
Though I felt him tense at the mention of the age Amelia and Lenny had died, I knew he got my point. Even if I was going to die, as far as we knew, I still had at least six months.
“Why are you so set on my leaving you?” he asked, unsettled.
I scrunched my brows together. “Well, when you put it like that, it sounds awful. But seriously, how long would you be gone?”
“I’d leave tomorrow evening and come back Saturday night.”
“So we’re talking about twenty-four hours?”
He squeezed my knee. “It’s not the hours that bother me, it’s being that far away from you that I don’t like.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek softly. “We can do one day, as long as you don’t break up with me when you come back this ti—”
He kissed me before I could finish. But I pulled back.
“As long as you don’t break up with me.”
He kissed me again, and between kisses whispered, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Before I could protest, he lay back with me on my bed. Making out with him was getting easier. He was much more relaxed when it came to being close to me, but it seemed that his momentary seducing episodes were very well calculated. He knew exactly how to make me forget any unwanted thoughts and only allowed them to return under much more peaceful terms.
Breaking our moment, he said, “I will not break up with you ever again. I’m yours every single day, forever.”
I melted into his chest, but not in a passionate way. Hearing something like that only makes you want to be cradled in the arms of the one who said it. No kissing was necessary. All that was needed was the closeness of his entire body against mine. And I stayed there, just like that, for the rest of the night.
The morning brought much greater disappointment than I’d anticipated, since he had to be at the airport by 6:00 p.m. That meant I had to drive myself to work on Friday.
I was fine. I wasn’t depressed about it or anything, but it only highlighted the fact that Wes was gone. I pulled into the parking lot, glad to see both Dawn and Danny’s cars there. It was a perfect greeting to an evening of work, and just like old times, things were great. Danny and Dawn were actually getting along and even Mr. Healey was in good spirits.
I made it through work in a good mood, and had even picked up a new book to keep me busy that night. Not. Wes called me as soon as his flight landed in Tucson and I wouldn’t let him get off the phone. Okay, let is a strong word. I simply talked my head off until my eyes were too heavy to stay awake, and he listened.
I heard, “I love you. Good night.” Then I dozed off to dream of coconuts and a white horse.
Saturday was a drag. Not because anything was wrong at the bookstore. I just didn’t like feeling the separation. For some reason, it makes a difference when you know the person you want to be with forever is only a few minutes away. I did things to keep myself busy all day, and thankfully the normal crew was at work again.
Mr. Healey was out running errands. Danny was shifting around some shelves and Dawn and I were hanging out at the register. She was extra bubbly as she twisted around on her stool.
I caved and opened a can of worms I wasn’t sure I wanted open. “What are you so happy about?”
“Me? Hmm. Let’s see. I’m off restriction and my dad is letting me go out with Jackson tonight.”
“Really, so soon?” It was good news, but a little surprising. Her dad must’ve really believed her bogus explanation.
“Yeah. Well only because Danny will be with us.”
I scrunched up my nose. “Danny is going with you…on a date?”
“No, I don’t need a chaperone, thank you very much.” I still wasn’t following so she continued. “See, Danny and his friend Jared, who happens to be Jackson’s older brother, are going to a boxing match tonight. Jackson is going too. Sooooo, I asked Danny if I could come, and he said yeah.”
“Why would he let you come to a boxing match with him?”
She was getting a kick out of where the story was going and made me wait while she pulled a piece of gum from her pocket. Unwrapping it and folding it in, she said, “Because Chase is in a match and Danny owes me for ratting.”
I was trying to picture the whole circus when she grabbed my arm.
“Hey, you guys should come too. Wes would probably like it. It’s a guy thing.”
I shook my head. “No, Wes is out of town.”
“Then you come, Sophie. Please. It’ll be fun. I’ll probably be the only girl there.”
“I don’t think so.”
She was squeezing now. “You can’t stay home alone tonight. What are you going to do, have phone sex? Come on. It’ll be cool.”
“No.”
“Sophie, seriously. What else are you going to do?”
“Nothing.”
“Then come. Aren’t you even the least bit curious? This is supposed to be big time. Danny says the guys are pretty good.” She paused. “Hey, you might get to see Chase get his ass kicked.” I perked up. “See? Now you want to come.”
Although it did momentarily sound appealing, I didn’t want Chase or anyone else to get beat up. “I don’t want to see anything like that.”
“Then do it for me. I don’t want to feel like Danny is babysitting me. If you come, then it’ll be like we’re all hanging out—to watch Chase get beat up.” She smiled.
I knew I should’ve just held my ground, but for some stupid reason, I have the hardest time telling people no. I thought it was a product of Wes’ chocolate brown eyes, but I was learning that it was just a weakness of mine. I told her yes, but that I’d drive myself. I wasn’t going to get stuck waiting for a ride home. She was thrilled and asked if she could ride with me.
Wes had told me his conference was an all-day thing, with a dinner to follow. Then he was heading straight to the airport. I had already told him to come over no matter what time he got back, and of course, he agreed.
In the meantime, I couldn’t call him to tell him where I was going. Instead, I texted him:
DAWN IS DRAGGING ME TO A BOXING MATCH TONIGHT :(.
He texted right back:
??
I KNOW. I MISS YOU.
I pictured him texting a hundred miles an hour, because all the questions, like where, what, when, who, came flashing across my phone. I quickly let him know that Danny, Jared, and Jackson were chaperoning. I neglected to tell him about Chase, only because I didn’t want to distract him from the conference more than I already had.
At any rate, he seemed much more relaxed to know that big brother was coming. My phone buzzed one last time.
BE CAREFUL. SEE YOU SOON.
I knew by his choice of words that he wished he could be with me right then, and hidden somewhere in the undertone was a, “You probably shouldn’t go without me.” But I figured I’d be perfectly safe with Dawn and her older brother, so I didn’t think much of it.
I turned to Danny, curious. “What do you wear to a boxing match anyway?”
He laughed. “Well, we don’t have front-row, celeb tickets, so I would say whatever you’re wearing now is fine.” He seemed glad I was going, and I was starting to warm up to doing something new. That’s one thing I could say. I’d never been to a boxing match before.
I went home to change, despite Danny’s advice. I changed out my blue shirt and white sneakers for a black shirt and black Converse low-tops. Then I drew my hair up into a ponytail, applied a little bit of eyeliner, and drove over to Dawn’s.
“You got directions, right?”
“Of course,” she said with a Duh! tone as she hopped up into my Jeep. “But we have to get Jackson first.”
“He’s not riding with Jared and Danny?”
“No. They went out for drinks first. Plus, we thought we could make out in the back of your Jeep on the way.” She winked in a joking way, only she wasn’t.
They absolutely sat in the back of my Jeep, k
issing and carrying on as I drove them around like a chauffeur. It felt odd to be around the two of them together. They seemed so young. They were seventeen, but for some reason, their carefree mentality made me feel older. Plus, they’re complete opposites. She’s dark-haired, outgoing, and bold at times, including the heavy eyeliner she likes to wear. Jackson’s laid-back, usually dresses in light colors, and has perfect blond hair that nearly covers his eyes. The bangs sweep themselves perfectly in one direction. I wanted to take a pair of scissors to them, just so I could see his eyes. Then, realizing I sounded like my mother when it came to my own hair, I nixed that thought.
The venue was in Albany, and the only thing Danny gave Dawn was a street address. Computer mapped and ready to go, we headed to the location. All was smooth until I realized the computer printout was navigating me to an area of clubs and bars. No large arena or anything. I drove by a few dilapidated buildings and was about to turn around when I saw Danny standing on a corner with his hands in his pockets.
He flagged me down and pointed around the corner while waving his other hand to signal a nearby space. This can’t be right, I thought.
All Dawn kept saying from the back seat was, “Cool.”
We got out and met up with Danny and Jared. We heard club music pounding around the corner, and I thought we were headed toward it. Instead, Danny turned down a dark, narrow alley behind the buildings. It was just wide enough to fit a Dumpster and have enough room for one person to walk between it and the brick wall.
Danny stepped through the narrow passage first, and I followed close behind. Not because I was eager to go, but because I was not about to be the last person in line. Once we were past the Dumpster, the alley opened up to a dark, pothole-ridden path leading to what looked like a dead end. The deeper we went, the more I imagined rats and dead bodies at my feet.
“Danny, where are we going?” I asked, starting to get the creeps.
“Chase said it was around back.” His casual voice was not calming my nerves.