I swing by her house first, now her mom is back, they might have gone home. Only, it’s all shut up and no one is home. Riding out to the motel, she isn’t there either.
I’m not surprised they’ve left town, I would have probably done the same in their position. They’d be long gone now and without giving them time to use a credit card or something, I can’t get Slade to track them.
By the time I’ve shoved my belongings into my bag, and searched the room for anything I’ve missed, my brothers are returning from the mountain.
Cas looks more tired than usual, and Sparky looks like he could do with a session on the punch bag.
No one ever wants to take out a brother, but sometimes, needs must.
“Is she gone?” Slade asks.
Cas and Sparky disappear into Cas’s room and the rest head over to the bar across the street.
“Looks like it.”
He begins tapping away on his phone, and grins.
“Looks like your luck is in, or she’s dumped her phone, but, Rebecca’s phone is still just outside of town, about ten minutes south.”
“You’re fucking joking me, brother?”
“Nope. Go on, I’ll let Cas know where you are if he asks.”
“Thanks, brother.”
I’m jogging over to my bike and bringing the engine to life before another second is wasted and Slade appears at my side.
“If you ever want to talk about today, I’m here for you. Day or night.”
“I know, but this time, I’m good. I swear.”
I peel out the motel parking lot and onto the main road. I push the speed as fast as I can and laugh to myself. This is how fast I wanted to be leaving last week and now I’m scared to leave and never see her again. Well, that’s being dramatic, I know Slade will track her down for me.
I need her with me now, not in a few days or next week. It doesn’t take long before I’m slowing down. In the near distance, I see her coat huddled at the side of the car. Pulling over, I park up on the side of the road and take in the sight of Libby changing the tire without effort.
Her mom is visibly upset, her arms cling around her torso as if she’s in danger and is waiting for another blow.
Libby smiles shyly my way, before returning to the tire and tightens the nuts and bolts.
Swinging my leg over my bike, I walk over to offer my assistance, but it’s clear she doesn’t need it when she stands and wipes her hands together.
Impressive. I don’t think I know a woman who can change a tire on the side of a road.
“How did you know we were here?” she asks.
“Slade told me. I want you to know I don’t need to get right with myself, you are what’s right for me. Come back with me to the motel and we can figure out where we go from here.”
“Elizabeth?”
Rebecca steps towards us, and she clearly doesn’t want to go back.
“Mom, can you pass me a pen please.”
The woman is broken, it would be clear to see to a blind guy. She moves with hesitation, she doesn’t hold her head high, and she holds herself like she’s protecting herself, not just from one person, but from the whole world.
She brings over a pen, and Libby offers her a small smile before she walks away and climbs in the car.
“My mom has been beaten and put down for so long, she has forgotten what happiness is. She needs me, and I need her to come back to me.”
I remain quiet while she lifts my hand in hers and uses her mouth to uncap the pen lid with her mouth.
I don’t move and let her run the ink over my skin as she starts to draw a skull around the black heels.
It shocks me, I used to use them as a focus to wash away her blood, but I haven’t noticed them in the last couple of days.
Once she’s finished with the skull, she draws barbed wire wrapped around the skull, then to finish it off, she draws outlines of roses in the eye sockets.
“I would never tell you to cover up a tattoo, but this one doesn’t belong on your skin. As long as you keep looking in the past, you can’t see me in the future, no matter what you say.”
She’s wrong. I can see her, and she’s all I do see now. The drawing is impressive, I admit, we still have a lot to learn about each other.
I want to know everything about her.
“You’re all I see,” I tell her, rather than keep it in my head.
She runs the pen over her sketch again, “We’re always going to be wrapped around death,” she says, as the pen darkens the barbed wire around the skull, “The trick to surviving the pain of loss, is to find the beauty that doesn’t only mask death, it makes you forget about it.”
Her drawing makes sense now. The roses stand for beauty and it’s all covering the heels that stand for Melissa and bad times. The past.
“What if I’ve already found my beauty?”
She looks up at me and smiles.
“You’d let her go until you know she’s going to have one hundred per cent of your soul.”
That hits me hard and she takes advantage of me zoning out. She walks over to their car and turns back at the last minute.
“I will find you,” I vow.
“I’m hoping you do.”
I’m moving, and I don’t stop until she’s in front of me and I’m holding her face between my hands.
“Make sure you look after yourself,” I growl, not knowing what else to say.
“And there’s me thinking you came over here to kiss me and then watch me longingly drive away into the distance,” she chuckles.
I bark out a laugh and crash my mouth onto hers. I’ll give her the kiss she wants, the little romantic. Sliding my hand around the back of her head, I fist her hair into my hand and I have to force myself to let go.
Pulling away, I say, “It’s going to suck watching you go.”
“I’ll see you soon, Dex.”
She slips out of my hold and into the car, and like she wanted, I stand there watching the car drive in the distance.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Libby
Fourteen weeks and five days, that’s how long it’s been since I last stood in front of Dex.
Nineteen phone calls, that’s how many times he’s called me after suffering from his nightmares. Although, he hasn’t had one in the last month.
The more time I spend on the phone with him, the easier it is to see him in my future and being much more than a fling.
That’s why, as my mom snoozes on the back seat, I’m driving us over the town line into Willows Peak.
I have run out of patience waiting on him to come and find me, plus, my mom needs somewhere she can start again, somewhere permanent.
She’s actually scaring the shit out of me, the damage from dad’s abuse runs deeper than I ever imagined, and I don’t know how I can help her.
A diner is the first place I see, and groups of brightly coloured balloons are tied to boards out front. The closer I get, I read the banner, ‘Grand re-opening.’
I pull into the parking lot and cut the engine. Diners are the best places to find work and a place to rent. They’re like beehives of information, especially in small towns like this.
“Mom, wake up, we’re here.”
She comes around quickly, another thing I’ve learned about her, she doesn’t sleep heavily. Ever.
“Where’s here?” she croaks.
“Willows Peak. Come on, we need something to eat and coffee.”
The diner is busy and luckily, we manage to snag the last free table in the corner by the window.
There is a huge family table in the centre of the diner and it’s surrounded by women and their kids. Every other table is families, and people enjoying their food.
Hopefully, one day my mom will enjoy the small things again, and I’ll hear her laugh.
“Hey, I’m Rosie, I’ll be your waitress for today. What can I get for you?”
Rosie looks about my age and she looks happy. I’ve been noticing people??
?s moods more recently. Comparing them to my mom’s moods.
“We’ll have a pot of coffee and I’ll have four pancakes with a side of bacon, please.”
I pass the menu to my mom and she pushes it away. She’s been doing this since we left Mercy. Unless I make her, she doesn’t want to eat.
“She’ll have the same as me.”
Rosie writes it down and goes to walk off.
“Hey, excuse me. Are there any jobs going here?”
I cross my fingers under the table and pray there is something.
“You’d have to talk to Hank, come on up to the counter and I’ll ask.”
I smile my gratitude and look to my mom.
“I’ll be back in a moment.”
I follow in the waitress’s direction and lean against the counter. She isn’t in the kitchen long and blows out of the kitchen with a huge smile on her face. That has to be a good sign, right?
“He asked if you had any experience waitressing, then he said he didn’t care if you can start tomorrow morning.”
“Sure, what time do you want me here?”
She slides over a bunch of papers I didn’t see her carrying out and tells me to fill them out.
“I don’t suppose you know anywhere to rent in town?”
“Well, isn’t it your lucky day,” a large older guy booms coming out of the kitchen.
“The name’s Hank, I own the place, and I have an apartment above here I’m looking to rent out. I’ll need a deposit and the first months rent up front.”
“I can do that, when can we move in?”
“Give me half an hour, and I’ll come out and we’ll get it sorted. I warn you though, I know some pretty bad people, if you mess me around with the rent, I won’t hesitate to send them round.”
For a split second, I think he’s being serious, then he bursts out laughing and I smile. I know my own bad ass people, and I reckon mine are worse than his.
He holds his hand out and I shake it.
“Libby,” I say, forgetting to tell him my name.
“It’s nice to meet you, I’ll talk to you soon.”
My heart races at the sound of a number of bikes rolling into the parking lot, and a huge smile covers my face.
I wasn’t expecting to see Dex just yet, but I really hope he’s with the crowd now heading for the door.
Out the corner of my eye, my mom is shaking and trying to take deep breaths in our booth.
Weaving through the tables, I make it back to my mom before they walk through the door and I cover her hands with mine.
“It’s okay, mom. It’s the bikers who helped us.”
“You brought us to their town?”
“It’s where he lives, I had to come.”
Her breathing stabilises, and her face softens. She turns my hands in hers so she’s holding me, and I soak in the touch.
“When I was at the counter, I found us somewhere to live and I’ve got a job here to pay the rent until we find something else to do.”
“I don’t know why your father could never be happy with us, you’re so brave and resourceful. You’re the one thing I got right, I’m proud of you. If you want us to stay here, we will, and I’ll get myself some help. I don’t want you missing out on life anymore because of me.”
“I’m pretty sure I love him,” I smile.
“I think you’re absolute, you drove us across the country to be with him.”
And as she speaks of him, he walks through the door and heads for the centre table with the women and kids.
Cas pulls out a chair next to a beautiful blonde woman, he kisses into her neck and she smiles. Slade ruffs up a small boy’s hair making him laugh and then kisses a heavily pregnant woman. These women must be their old ladies. Their families.
They all look at peace and happy. Nothing like back home.
Dex pulls out a chair next to two small boys and starts messing around with them. He certainly looks happier than the last time I saw him. He’s lighter in a way, the way he carries himself and his smile, it’s not weighted down with the stresses of blood and murder.
His hair is combed back away from his face and his eyes are wider than they were. He has changed, and I haven’t even spoke to him yet.
Our food arrives and all of a sudden, I’m nervous. This can’t be butterflies invading my stomach. I feel sick. Doubts don’t just creep in, they bulldoze their way in.
“What are you waiting for?” Mom asks.
“He looks so happy now, what if he wants me in the past as well as his demons. Me turning up might ruin everything.”
“Don’t do this, I’m the self-doubter. You’re in control, and if that boy isn’t happy to see you then I guess we might have to commit murder after all,” she winks.
“Mom!”
For Christ sakes. She goes from jittery to threatening in no time.
Before I can listen to anymore doubts, I pull my phone out of my purse and go to our messages.
‘Hey, what are you up to?’
How lame. But, I sit watching as he receives the message and digs his phone out of his pocket.
His smile when he sees I’m the one contacting him, relaxes me. That was genuine, he doesn’t know I’m here to put on a front.
‘Grabbing some food and thinking of you.’
He replies quickly.
‘Really? Are you sure you’re not too busy to be thinking about me?’
I don’t know why I’m messing with him. I should go over there, but the thought of that makes me feel sick again.
‘Let’s play a game…let’s reply at the same time saying what town we’re in.’
I hold in a giggle when he reads it and becomes confused. I quickly type another message and hit send when he still doesn’t reply.
‘Willows Peak.’
I know the exact moment he reads the last message, he shoots up to his feet, knocking his chair over and the rest of the table is immediately on alert. Oops.
He looks out through the windows from where he stands, but he doesn’t look my way. He taps away on his phone and a second later, mine rings. His eyes gravitate in my direction and this is it, the moment I really hope doesn’t come back and bite me on the ass.
I hope he’s dealt with his demons, I don’t think I’ll be able to leave him again.
I guess the rest of the Lost Souls figure out what’s happening, because they don’t do anything and I’m too busy watching Dex’s every step he’s taking towards me.
I’m on fire, and frozen all at the same time and when he stands in front of me, I can’t see anyone else but him. He’s all I want to see, all I need to see.
“You’re here,” he says, breathlessly.
“You weren’t picking up on my hints to come and find me,” I grin.
His laugh fills the diner and now we have an audience, not that I care. He moves closer to me and I step towards him.
“Are you here to stay?” he asks.
“I’ve just got myself a job, and we’re renting the apartment above here, so yeah, I’m staying.”
“How long have you been in town?” he laughs, stepping even closer.
“About twenty minutes.”
I close the gap between us and he murmurs, “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
He brings his hands up to hold my face and I nearly lose the feeling in my legs. I’ve more than missed him, and his touch.
“I’m not going to let you go again,” he warns me.
“I don’t want you to,” I tell him, meaning every word.
I lean up on my tiptoes and pick up where we left off the last time we were together.
I’ve imagined this over a hundred times during the last three months. His brothers cheer in the background and I think I can hear kids cheering too.
Laughing into his mouth, the audience I didn’t care about a moment ago is now all I can see and hear, and I pull away. He doesn’t let me go far and puts his arm around me.
My
mom clears her throat behind us and I can feel the heat building in my cheeks.
“Mrs Stockton, it’s good to see you again,” Dex smoothly says, not caring he just kissed the fuck out of her daughter before her.
“Please, call me Rebecca.”
Stockton was my dad’s name, and a name I’ll be changing when my mom changes hers back to her maiden name.
“I hope you like living in Willows Peak, cause I’m not letting your daughter leave now I’ve got her back,” he jokes, but she tenses for a fraction of a second.
He’s joking and when she sees that, she breaks out a smile and I relax. He’s not dad, and he’s not Baze.
“Come and join us, we’re only here because Cas said we had to show our face.”
“For a diner reopening?” I ask, confused.
“We were the reason he had to reopen,” he whispers in my ear.
Suppressing a smile, I lean into him and breathe him in.
“Hank is coming over soon to talk about the job and renting the place upstairs. I should wait here.”
Plus, my mom isn’t big on crowds.
He leans down and kisses me again, like he doesn’t believe I’m here. I feel his hands wonder down my thighs and then I’m being lifted. I straddle his waist so I don’t fall but we’re already moving across the diner.
“Put me down,” I laugh, cringing as everyone stares.
He slides me down his body once he reaches his table and my face burns in embarrassment.
“Everyone, this is Libby. Libby, I’d like you to meet everyone,” he says, sweeping his hand around the table.
“You’ve already met the guys, and this is Alannah, Bonnie, Kristen, Kyla, and Sally,” he introduces the women around the table, then moves on to the kids, “These littles rascals are JJ, Leo and Zachery.”
I smile at everyone and I can already tell they are nothing like the Mercy Chapter.
“We’ve heard a lot about you, Dex has been a different guy since he came back, apparently that’s because of you. It’s nice to meet you finally,” Alannah says warmly.
“Okay, I’ll see you all later,” Dex says, and leads me back to my table.
He slides in beside me and keeps hold of my hand.
“Are you going to treat her right, Dex?”
We both look at my mom and I can’t believe she said that.