Dennis gave her a huge smile, launching into a nerd-propelled diatribe. Her heart danced happily. He was happy. Maybe for the first time away from the computer, he was happy. This was progress. Even though it wasn’t easy, this was progress. She would get Dennis to open up to her. Then she could fix him.
An hour later, Keith finally found an impossibly tight parking space near the convention center (Elly had to squeeze her way out of her door—it was highly embarrassing). They walked slowly toward the long brick building that stretched out in both directions, a massive sculpted dragon guarding the entrance. The line for the ticket booth stretched around the block, but luckily Keith had purchased early online (“They weren’t cheap,” he had grumbled, and when Elly offered to pay him back, he looked even more offended), so they skipped the line and walked straight under the dragon’s nether-regions into another world.
The first thing Elly thought was that she had never seen so many colors. Bright, exploding colors everywhere—on the people, on the walls, in the booths, on multiple screens that blared and jumped from every surface. Pulsating music was being pumped through the walls, amplified by the sound of hundreds of video-game screens. Elly was almost knocked over by a giant Alice in Wonderland, her short skirt hiked up over her behind. “‘Scuse me, lady! Keep it moving!”
Keith grabbed Elly’s elbow and hauled her out of the crowds of people swarming in the entrance. His eyes were wide and frightened. “You just got yelled at by a male Alice in Wonderland!”
“I know! It was kind of wonderful!” They both laughed. Dennis had gone to the first booth by the door and looked over at them with annoyance. “I want to go wander around, can I meet you guys later?”
A thin twinge of betrayal shot through Elly. “We came here for you—you aren’t even going to stay with us?”
Dennis bit his lip nervously and started wringing his hands. “Um, I guess I can, I just want to go over to the World of MageCraft booth because they are giving away free totes and first-edition comic books.” He looked desperately uncomfortable at the idea.
“Go,” said Keith, surprising Elly. “We’ll be fine, we’ll have fun.”
What just happened? Elly turned to glance at Keith, who said, “Why don’t we meet back here at two?”
Dennis gave an ecstatic nod and fled into the crowd, his blond hair flipping as he jogged awkwardly.
“Thanks for that,” deadpanned Elly. Keith taking the lead with Dennis was definitely starting to get old.
Keith looked down at her. “You can’t blame me for wanting you all to myself, can you? You’ve been so busy with the BlissBride stuff and the new store that I barely see you. My Elly.” He raised her hand to his soft lips. “I think we should ditch these nerds and find a quiet corner where I can tell you all about my secret geekiness, and all the fantasies that go along with it.”
Elly was still annoyed that he had overstepped his bounds as a boyfriend. Or was that really what she was annoyed about? “That’s fine, I just wanted to spend some time with Dennis, that’s all.”
“Oh.” Keith frowned. “I just thought it would be fun, just the two of us.”
It would be fun. Everything with Keith was fun. Elly longed to press herself against him, right in the convention center, wrap herself in his robust build and fall away, letting her fragile heart break in his hands. But then she remembered the way his face contorted when he lied to her, and her heart sank a little. Elly gave a fake smile in his direction and started walking in between the booths. “That’s fine. Whatever.” You sound like a petulant teenager, she told herself. Stop it.
The Green Lantern walked by, arguing with a girl dressed from head to toe in pink bunny fur. Elly looked quickly at some cute T-shirts featuring anime animals with big, scared eyes, and then past numerous booths selling girly costumes. Yeah, I can’t wear that. Never happening. Nothing would look worse. Princess Leia in a bikini walked by. Nope, she thought, I was wrong.
“Elly, what is the matter with you?” Keith looked genuinely confused. How could he not know? “I’m sorry I stepped in with Dennis. I’ll go find him if you want.” He looked around. “I will search Middle Earth and beyond if you so command.”
Elly pinched her cheek with her teeth, forcing away a smile, fighting between her desire to know the truth and her desire to still have her calm sea. Dennis had already caused enough waves. “It’s not that. It’s fine. I’m sure he is having a ball somewhere. I’m glad that he got to come—I’ve never seen him so happy, except when he’s glued to that computer.”
“It’s true. He moved really fast away from us.” Keith rubbed his mostly bald head. “Hopefully, it will inspire him to leave the house more, maybe get a job. We’re hiring at the deli, you know. I was going to bring it up with him later, when he’s happy and exhausted, like a kid after Disneyland.”
Elly imagined Dennis in one of Keith’s white aprons. It was a pleasant picture, but she didn’t want to push him. “Maybe.” They wandered awhile, hand in hand, taking in the art and the crazy culture. Everything possible was represented. There were knitted superhero dolls and mind-bogglingly expensive action figures, collector’s Lego creations, and one-of-a-kind illustrations from famous artists depicting Superman and Batman. They walked inside a giant Lego castle, and Elly took a picture of Keith surrounded by chesty girls covered head to toe in green paint and wearing Star Trek uniforms. They ate a light lunch—nine dollars for a terrible turkey dog?—and ate in silence. Elly could feel a growing awkwardness between them. Her answers were short and clipped, which bewildered and annoyed Keith. Right now, they were that couple—the awkward couple on the verge of a fight, trying to hold it all together with traitorous smiles.
After lunch, they reached the end of the convention hall and stood waiting for Dennis near a T-shirt kiosk. After some good-natured haggling with the vendor, Keith bought a Captain America T-shirt for Dennis and a Flash T-shirt for himself. He held it up proudly for Elly. “I loved the Flash growing up. I have a framed copy of my first comic on my mantle.”
He has a mantle, she thought. “I’d love to see it.”
“Someday,” he replied. Then he looked up at the ceiling. A raw, emotional hole started tearing open in Elly’s chest. Keith stared over her head at a blaring screen. “Hey, I kind of want to see that new Bond movie tonight—want to watch it at your apartment? Order a pizza? Or we could see if Kim and Sean want to go out—I would love to try that new Greek place….”
Elly felt a surge of anger rise up from her core. He was avoiding it, again. Again, he was putting it off. She whirled around to face him. “I’ve got a better idea—how about we go find Dennis and then go straight to your house?” She could see that Keith was taken aback, both by her words and her aggression. It was a side of her he had never seen—not directed at him, anyway. Elly hated her bitchy reflection in his eyes.
“Um, what?”
“Let’s go to your house. Let’s go find Dennis and go to your house. Not the deli, not my apartment, or my car, or the park, your house.”
“I think Dennis is probably going to stay here until it closes. He wants to find the World of MageCraft booth girls, remember?” He attempted a smile with the side of his mouth. It quickly faded when he saw that it wasn’t reciprocated.
Something deep and buried flared in Elly. Her insecurities swirled up to the surface. Hot tears sprung to her eyes. As a woman dressed in armor walked past her, Elly fought a desire to grab her holstered sword and hold it to Keith’s throat. She narrowed her eyes as she stared up at him. Be honest, thought Elly, calm down. Be reasonable. Taking a deep breath, she gave him a straightforward look, her gaze locked on his. “Keith, why haven’t you taken me to your house?”
Keith painfully pulled his eyes from hers to look at his sandals. “I told you, it’s messy, and I want to make sure it looks, you know, appropriate when you come over.”
“So it’s good enough for Cadbury, but not for me.”
His hand reached for hers. “Yeah, because Cadbu
ry is a dog. A pile of worms is good enough for him. Calm down.”
Elly stepped back, leaving his hand lingering in the open air. “Don’t tell me to calm down. Why haven’t you taken me to see your house? Is it because you are ashamed of me?”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it because you are a hoarder, or you have no food?”
Keith patted his roundish belly. “Does that seem like a problem?”
Elly felt mocked. “Keith, please don’t try to be funny right now. I’m asking you honestly and directly. Are you homeless?”
Keith let his head fall back with a roar of laughter. “Elly, come on.”
Something delicate snapped inside of her. He was laughing at her. Elly let her anger sweep her away. All the feelings she had been pushing down rose up, ready to pour out from her mouth in a venomous rush. She brought her hand down hard on the corner of a booth. The vendor jumped. “Is it because you have a woman there? A girlfriend, maybe?” In the roar of the crowded convention center, a great silence passed in between them. Elly watched his face, searching for truth.
Keith’s eyes widened and a vein pulsed in his forehead. He had just comprehended the seriousness of this conversation. “Did you just ask me if I have a girlfriend? Are you serious?”
Elly knew she had crossed a line, but she didn’t care. She wouldn’t have this happen to her, not again, not behind her back. “Yes I’m serious! You keep avoiding bringing me to your home at all costs, and for what? It can’t honestly be the laundry, or the upkeep, because I don’t care. You know me, you know I wouldn’t care, so it’s something else, something sordid and wrong.” Tears were flowing down her face freely now, and Elly was vaguely aware that a battle-damaged Imperial Stormtrooper had stopped walking to observe their fight. “I’ve been taken advantage of before, I know what having a secret means.”
“Elly, you don’t.” Keith pulled her toward him. His arms, strong and thick, circled around her. “Let’s talk about this later.”
“No.” Elly pulled away from him. “No distractions, no excuses. You’ve done this a hundred times already. Tell me the truth.” She had to raise her voice to be heard over the buzz of the crowd. A man dressed as the Joker circled around them. “Why so serious?” he hissed.
“Shut up!” thundered Keith. The Joker looked terrified and skittered away.
“Why won’t you take me to your house?”
Keith fidgeted. “It’s a long story, and I’m not ready to explain it. It’s complicated.”
“It’s complicated,” Elly repeated. Keith nodded. “You know what’s complicated in a relationship? Nothing. Lies are complicated, so are secrets. Hidden feelings and tucked-away shame are complicated. A real relationship has no complications, no secrets.”
Keith rocked back on his heels. “I’m really not sure what you are referring to.”
“I won’t have this happen to me again. I have not worked this hard and come this far only to have a man lie to my face. I can tell when something is wrong; I can tell that you have been lying to me. Do you think I don’t know?”
Keith looked up nervously. The crowd watching them had grown. A female Batman looked with pity at Elly, while a life-sized Pokémon character bounced back and forth on its chubby yellow feet, anticipating a physical blowout. Keith gritted his teeth. “I’m just not ready to talk about this. Can’t you understand that?”
Elly’s pent-up defenses roared inside of her. “No, I feel like we should figure this out right here, right now. What I’m asking is simple. Look at me and tell me why can’t I go to your house?”
Keith stepped toward her. “Don’t do this, Elly. If you do this, it might ruin everything. Trust me when I tell you that I’m not meaning to hurt you. I can tell you are upset. Let’s go outside. You just have to give me some time….”
Elly, her eyes brimming over, stepped back. “Give you some time? So you can cover up your lies? Or send your girlfriend back to LA?”
“Los Angeles?” A short Indiana Jones shook his head in disgust at Keith.
“Elly, what are you talking about? Just come with me, we can just step outside….”
“I can’t have this happen again. I know what you are doing, I know who you are….”
“Well, then, you should know that I would never cheat on you!” yelled Keith. He lowered his voice and looked deep into Elly’s eyes, his dark-blue eyes disturbed and stormy. “I would never cheat on you because I love you.”
Elly felt her heart ripping apart. I love you, I love you, he said it, her heart crowed happily, but at the same time her doubtful thoughts swirled, drowning out the joyous sound. The crowd had fallen silent, as Transformers and Disney princesses watched in fascination. Elly looked at Keith, her voice low and pleading. “Then if you love me, tell me the truth.”
“I need you to wait.”
“No. I’ve waited long enough. If you can’t tell me here, I don’t want to know the truth.” She didn’t. Even if the floor felt like it was falling away from her, even though her future looked black without him, she could not bear the weight of not knowing for another minute.
Keith let out an exasperated groan, raising his voice angrily. “Why are you doing this here?”
“Elly?” Dennis walked through the growing crowd, taking in their drama like a soap opera. “What’s happening?”
Elly wiped her tears away, suddenly mortified at her behavior. “Nothing. We’re just talking.”
“No, we’re not talking,” replied Keith. “Elly wants to fight in the middle of a convention and there’s no convincing her otherwise. She’s being ridiculous.”
The crowd around them bristled angrily at his words. “Tool bag!” someone yelled.
Dennis looked at Keith with raw contempt. “Don’t talk about my sister that way.” Dennis puffed out his chest. Elly was at once flooded with pride and totally mortified.
Keith looked at Dennis with skepticism, grabbing the T-shirt bag that he had dropped on the floor. “You know, we were just fine before you arrived and scared the hell out of her and then guilted her into letting you live with her. You don’t do anything. Would it be so hard for you to wash the dishes every once in a while, or get off that damn game? Why don’t you join the real world already? Sheesh.”
A group of guys wearing Lost T-shirts started booing Keith. Elly was unexpectedly worried about Keith’s safety in this crowd.
“By the time I was your age, I was already out on my own. Get off your ass, already.”
Dennis looked like Keith had punched him in the face. Which he had done already. The two men stared at each other. Elly moved to step between them when Keith backed down. “Here, I bought you a shirt.” He threw the shirt angrily at Dennis’s face. It bounced off his nose. “I remember you said you liked Captain America.” Keith turned to Elly. “I’m leaving.”
Dennis looked confused, glancing first at Keith, and then back at Elly. She sniffed miserably, her eyes still flaming with anger. “Fine. Go ahead.”
Keith handed the keys to Dennis, who still looked at Keith with heartbreaking confusion. “I’ll call a cab. This is … not right. Not here.”
Elly defiantly lifted her chin. The crowd was dispersing, sipping giant slushies and laughing at the strange couple that had a blowout fight in the middle of a convention. Before he left, Keith turned and looked straight into Elly’s eyes for a moment, his palm brushing her chin. “Elly …,” he said pleadingly, “please don’t do this. I just need a little more time.”
Elly turned away from him. “We are done,” she whispered. Elly thanked God that she was facing away from him, otherwise, he would have seen her world falling apart, one hot tear at a time. When she turned back around, he was gone, gone in an ocean of nerds, so far from her already. She had lost him.
“Well, the good news is that I found the booth girls,” offered Dennis.
Elly sobbed into her palms. “Drive me to Kim’s house. Please.” Dennis gave a silent nod and reached in his pocket for the keys.
/>
When they got there, alerted by Elly’s frantic texts, Kim was waiting in her massive brick doorway, Hadley cradled in her long, tan arms. As soon as he saw Elly, Hadley let out a scream of delight, wiggling his chubby little arms back and forth as he reached for her. She planted a kiss on his downy head, smelling the lavender and citrus baby soap that Kim was so fond of using. “Hi, sweetie.”
Hadley gave a happy coo to see his godmother. Kim looked over at Elly, awash in sympathy.
“This is going to be bad.” Elly let out a moan that turned into an embarrassing and very snotty sob.
Kim made a face. “Oh, honey. Here.” She hoisted Hadley into Dennis’s arms. Dennis looked terrified and appalled all at once. “Have you ever held a baby?” Dennis shook his head and tried to hand Hadley back to Kim, then Elly. Kim gave him a reassuring smile. “No, you’re fine. Don’t shake him, don’t put him in the pool, and keep most things out of his mouth. There’s food in the kitchen if you are hungry. Go.”
Dennis, holding Hadley out in front of him as though the baby were some sort of ferret, headed for the kitchen. Elly watched him walk away with a frown. “I feel like that is going to end badly for Hadley.”
Kim shrugged. “Eh, they’ll be fine. I can always have another.”
Elly tried to laugh, the hollow sound bouncing around her mouth. Kim led her out to her covered patio, a line of cracked red stone boasting the best of outdoor living: chic brown-and-green outdoor furniture, a massive grill (“The Beast”), and their pride and joy—their refreshing, deep-blue pool in the middle of the yard. Elly looked up at the wooden trellis above them, flush with pale-blue wisteria and maroon clematis snaking in and around the dark-brown beams. Did I just break up with Keith? She let out a low moan.
Kim nervously twirled her own hair. “We need wine, and lots of it.”
Elly gave the world’s most pathetic nod. An hour later, once Elly had stopped crying enough to get a few sentences out, Kim sat beside her quietly as they gently rocked on her giant wooden swing overlooking the pool. Elly remembered the last time someone had been crying on this swing—when Kim was afraid that she was a bad mother to a very new Hadley and had sobbed openly into Elly’s lap. Elly had told her how wrong she was, how she was an amazing mother, and how lucky Hadley was to have her. Perhaps this was a common theme on this porch.