Her eyes filled with tears. “I love you too, Babe.”
“I have something for you.” He pulled the box up to the table and set it in front of her.
Kellie’s eyes grew large. “What’s this?”
“Open it and see.” He could hardly wait to see the look on her face.
Kellie tentatively lifted the lid to the box and gasped as she gazed at the tennis bracelet inside. “Nathan!”
He stood and approached her side of the table. Reaching into the box, he pulled out the delicate bracelet and fastened it around her wrist. “You deserved something special. You’ve been through so much lately.”
She looked a bit dazed. “But this is too much. . .”
“Nothing is too much for you.” He gripped her hand and spoke passionately. “I mean that, Honey. You’re the most valuable thing in the world to me. And there’s nothing I could ever give you—nothing I could do—to show you how much you mean to me. This bracelet is just a small attempt on my part to share something huge that’s on my heart.”
Tears ran in tiny rivers down her cheeks. “I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you more.” He winked in her direction. They turned their attentions to the meal and to one another. Nathan couldn’t help but relax as they chatted back and forth. For the first time in weeks, he actually felt some sense of direction.
seven
Kellie stepped out of her father’s private room at the rehab facility and leaned against the wall. She didn’t like this place—the smells, the people in varying stages of brain damage, the nurses scurrying to and fro, caring for patients who often cried out in pain or shouted foul insults. They couldn’t be blamed, of course, but it was all just too much to take in.
With eyes brimming over, she stared at the door leading to her father’s room. On the other side of that door a man she barely recognized lay in a bed, fighting to re-learn everything.
“Lord, I don’t understand.” How could he ever become the strong, intelligent man she had always known? And why was everything moving so slowly? She fought with her feelings, one moment up, the next down. Would this roller coaster ride ever come to a satisfactory end or were they destined to spend the rest of their lives loving a man who barely remembered his own name, let alone how to function in the world?
“Kellie?”
She looked up as her mother stepped out into the hall and guilt overwhelmed her at once. She couldn’t let anyone know her fears, her doubts. She must remain positive, upbeat at all costs. Kellie brushed away the tears, ashamed to let her mother find her in a moment of weakness, and then offered up a weak smile. “What’s up, Mom?”
“I’m just concerned about you. Are you okay?”
Mom, you’re always comforting me. It’s supposed to be the other way around. I’m supposed to be helping you through this. “Everything is just moving so slowly.” Kellie sighed. “I wish there was some kind of a button we could push to just speed him through all of this.”
“I know.” Her mother smiled. “You’re the Queen of Quick. I remember.”
Kellie groaned. “I can’t believe I actually said that.”
“I guess some things just can’t be rushed.” Her mother shrugged. “But while your dad’s relearning, I suppose we’ll have to learn a few things, too.”
“I guess.” Kellie paused. “It’s just so hard to. . .to. . .” she choked back tears. “To see him like this.”
“I know.” Her mother drew her into a tight embrace and whispered. “It’s hard on all of us—but it’s got to be harder on him than anyone. I can’t even imagine.”
“I can’t either. He’s always been so strong. And his mind. . .” She pulled back and gazed into her mother’s weary face. “His has the brightest mind of anyone I’ve ever known.”
“That’s what I’m counting on.” Mom smiled. “I know he’s still in there, honey. And he’s fighting with all of his strength. I can see it in his eyes.”
“I can too.” Kellie brushed away loose tears. “And I’m so proud of him. It’s just so hard to watch. I don’t know if I have it in me to make it through the emotional ups and downs. Sometimes I just wonder. . . if things will ever be the same again.” She paused as she examined her mother’s face for a response. “Are you ashamed to hear me say that?”
“Ashamed?” Her mother’s eyes watered. “Oh, Honey, of course not. If anyone understands what you’re thinking and feeling, I do. Trust me.” Her mother took a seat. “I’m up here every day, watching. And praying. But that doesn’t mean I don’t get discouraged.”
Up here every day. Kellie cringed. How she wished she could be here every day. How she longed to drop everything and race to her father’s side as he walked through this valley. How guilty she felt for going about her daily work as if nothing had changed—when everything had changed.
“I’m relieved to hear you say that,” Kellie confessed. “You’re so full of faith. It helps to know that you have your down moments too.”
“I don’t think we’d be human if we didn’t. It’s not my faith I question. I have faith. I think we just grow weary sometimes. But those are the times the Lord has to carry us—when we admit our weakness. We’re completely dependent on Him”
“I know you’re right. I just hadn’t thought it through like that.” Kellie spirits lifted at her mother’s words. “And I know Daddy’s getting better every day. He’s taking baby steps, but every one is a step in the right direction.”
“Yes,” her mother agreed. “And he knows we’re here, even when he can’t properly voice his feelings. It means the world to him. I can see it in his eyes.”
Kellie sat next her mother, quiet for some time. “I wish I could be here more,” she said finally. “It doesn’t seem like enough to come on weekends.” It isn’t enough.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Her mother patted her hand. “You have a husband and a job. Daddy understands that, even if he can’t voice it. We all do.”
For some reason, Kellie couldn’t let the idea rest. In her heart, she yearned to do more. In her heart, she saw herself here—every day—alongside her mother. She wanted to play an important role in her father’s healing. He needed her. “I could take some time off of work,” she said, suddenly determined.
“But you’ve already done that.” Kellie’s mother gave her a quizzical look. “You lost over a week’s work already.”
“No. I mean, I could take an extended leave of absence.” Kellie paused, deep in thought. “Or, better yet. . .” She felt her excitement rising, “I could work from here. I could try my hand at day trading. As long as I have Internet access, I could make it work. I know I could.”
“Day trading?”
“Yes. I could work a few hours in the morning and then come up here for the rest of the day. I know I could handle the workload.” Her income might drop a little, but what difference would that make, in the grand scheme of things? She could make up for it later.
“But what about Nathan?” Her mother’s eyes registered concern. “Think about what you’re saying, Kellie. You might be able to make it work for you, but it would be terrible for the two of you to be apart. I watched you try. It’s not fair to him—or to you.”
Kellie felt as if the wind had suddenly been knocked out of her sails. “I know.” She sighed deeply. “If only there was some way to. . .”
“To have your cake and eat it too?”
Kellie looked up as she heard Nathan’s quiet interjection. “Nathan. H. . .how long have you been standing there?”
“Awhile.” He sat next to her and leaned his head back against the wall.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “I know I’m not making much sense.”
“I understand, Baby.” He kissed her on the forehead. “This is hard.”
She sighed. “Have you ever wished you could be in two places at once?”
Nathan pursed his lips. “Only when you were here and I was at home alone. I w
ished it every day.”
She dropped the subject right away. “I’m sorry. I know it’s impossible. Just wishful thinking on my part.”
“No harm in that.” He slipped an arm around her shoulder. “I wish I had the answer for you. I really do. But we’ll keep praying. God will give us direction. I know He will. And in the meantime, we’ll keep coming every weekend. We’ll be here as often as we can.”
Kellie nodded. Lord, I wish I had his faith. She looked up as Dr. Koenig, her father’s neurologist, joined them in the hallway. He spoke in hushed tones, as if somehow that would shield her father from whatever he had to say. In truth, Kellie had to admit, her father probably wouldn’t make much sense of their conversation, regardless of the volume.
Dr. Koenig gave them all a sympathetic smile. “I know you’re anxious to see him progress.”
Everyone nodded in agreement. Kellie gripped Nathan’s hand in her own.
“He is progressing, even if it’s not apparent to the naked eye,” the doctor continued. “We can’t discount how far he’s already come. The fact that he’s awake and able to move is very hopeful. And his ability to speak, albeit it just a few words, is also a good sign.”
Kellie immediately fought to push thoughts of frustration from her mind. The few slurred words coming from her father sounded little like the man she knew and loved. “How long?” She voiced the question everyone surely wondered. “How long will he be in here? How long before he’s back to. . . to normal?”
Dr. Koenig drew in a breath and looked her squarely in the eye. “I wish I could answer that. I really do.” He paused and shook his head. “Some of my neurological patients enter the rehab in dire straits then end up staying just a few weeks. They leave as if nothing had ever happened. And then. . .”
Kellie glanced up as he gestured down the hall to the recreation hall, where patients with varying degrees of neurological problems visited together. Some watched television. Others struggled to stand, to walk. Some swore at nurses and shouted insults to those walking by. Still others sat in silence in their wheelchairs, staring out of windows.
“Some of my patients have been here quite some time,” the doctor explained. “There’s truly no way to predict. It’s too soon to tell how quickly Kenton will progress. But I’m very hopeful. And he needs you to be, as well.”
“We are.” Kellie’s mother reached out and placed her hand on the doctor’s arm. “We’re not going to give up and neither is he. I know that man of mine. He’s a fighter. He wants to get through this.”
Kellie felt the familiar lump begin to rise into her throat. She tried to push it down as she spoke. “We’re going to be here for him.”
“That’s the key thing.” Dr. Koenig smiled warmly. “He will respond to the familiar. The more time you can spend with him, the better. I can’t express how important that is. Having your support will be better than any medication I can give him.”
Kellie couldn’t help but notice Nathan’s palm grew sweaty in her own.
As the doctor turned to leave, she turned as well. Kellie looked her husband in the eye, and prepared herself to ask him for the impossible.
***
Nathan listened intently as he drove to his mother-in-law’s house. Kellie’s heartfelt words left little to the imagination. In truth, they brought to light feelings she had not fully voiced in the days prior, feelings he now struggled to reconcile with his own. With tears flowing, his beautiful bride poured out her heart, expressing her desire to stay in Greenvine so that she could be closer to her father.
With a lump in his throat, Nathan fought to respond. But what could he say? How could he begin to reciprocate when he wasn’t even sure they could make this work? In truth, Nathan couldn’t make much sense out of Kellie’s emotional request. Could she really be serious? How could they possibly settle in a town like Greenvine, even for a short period of time? And, if so, how could he possibly go along with such a thing? How would they continue to work? What would happen to their condominium, their jobs and their lifestyle?
He drove in silence, conscious of her breathing as the tears continued to fall. Lord, help me. I don’t want to blow this. Give me Your words to say.
“I didn’t know I would feel this strongly,” Kellie explained with great passion. “I’ve never been through anything like this before. I don’t have anything to compare it to.”
“We’re both on a learning curve,” he acknowledged.
“I guess this whole experience has just made me reconsider some things.” She looked over at him with those puppy dog eyes and Nathan forced himself to stay focused on the road. He bit his lip and continued to drive.
“What kind of things?”
“Things like fancy cars, expensive condominiums and high-paying jobs,” she said. “These days I spend more time thinking about the things that are really important—family, relationships and quality time with the people you love—that sort of thing.”
“I hear you.” Nathan chose his words carefully. “And I agree that those things are more important. I just don’t see an answer to this problem, at least not one that would satisfy both of us. I know you want to be with your dad—”
“And with you,” she said adamantly. “That’s why the only way it would work is if we were both in agreement. Together, both physically and psychologically. But that means we’d both have to be willing to make some changes.”
“I don’t do change well,” he said. “And, to be honest, I can’t even imagine staying here. Your mom already has her hands full, and I don’t think I’d want to give up my privacy by staying in her house. It just wouldn’t feel like—”
“Like home?” she asked.
“Right. Home.”
“I think I have a solution.” Kellie smiled and Nathan realized she had already come up with a plan, had already worked all of this out in her head. Without him.
“What’s that?” He turned onto her mother’s street and listened carefully as she explained.
Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she spoke. “What would you think about renting a house?”
“What?” He hit the brakes and pulled the car off to the side of the road so that he could make sure he’d heard correctly. “Renting a house here? In Greenvine?”
Her energy level rose with each word. “Yes. I’ve given this a lot of thought, Baby. There’s a house for rent just two blocks from here. At least, I hope it’s still available. I saw the sign out front last time we were here. It’s so inexpensive, you’re going to laugh when you hear how much they’re asking.”
“I doubt it.” He pursed his lips.
“I know what you’re thinking.” She grabbed his hand and gazed at him with a look of desperation in her eyes. “You’re thinking we won’t be able to balance everything out. But I think we can do this, Nathan. I. . . I know we can.” She raced ahead, near breathless. “I can still work over the Internet. I can spend time with my mom and still have plenty of time with you in the evenings and on weekends. And it’s not really that far for you to drive, is it?”
“Kellie, I don’t know.”
Her eyes widened more with each impassioned word. “I mean, an hour and a half each way. . . people do it every day. We could keep our condominium. Or rent it out. Whatever you think. I mean, we’re only talking about a few months, after all—not a lifetime.”
He shook his head in disbelief. “I’m just floored. I don’t know what to say. It sounds like you’ve got everything worked out, right down to the house. But you’ve completely left me out of the equation.” He fought to keep his temper in check. How in the world could she possibly see this as an answer?
“I. . . I’m sorry.” She lowered her head and droplets of tears fell onto her blouse as she spoke in hushed tones. “You’re right. I just don’t know what else to do.”
They sat in silence for some time before Nathan put the car in gear again. Try as he may, he simply couldn’t think of anything to say. With a heavy heart, he turned the car in the dire
ction of his mother-in-law’s home.
eight
Kellie crossed the parking lot of the small community church with her husband’s hand tightly clutched in her own. She couldn’t help but smile as she spied the new education building off to the left. Children raced across the sidewalk, scurrying from place to place. Not so many years ago, she had been one of them. “This place has really grown,” she said.
“It has?” Nathan looked around, clearly surprised.
Kellie had to laugh. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but it’s about twice the size it was when I was a kid. And my mom tells me they’ve renovated the sanctuary. I can hardly wait to see it.” In truth, she could hardly wait to see the people inside the sanctuary. How many would remember her? How many would she still connect with?
They entered the building and Kellie braced herself for the inevitable. Sure enough, as they crossed into the foyer, a host of people greeted them.
“Why, if it isn’t little Kellie Conway!” An elderly woman grabbed her hand and squealed in glee.
“It’s Kellie Fisher now, Mrs. Dennison.” She smiled broadly as Nathan extended his hand. Her heart swelled with pride as she introduced him. “This is my husband, Nathan.”
“Nathan.” The older woman released her hold on Kellie and grasped Nathan’s hand. She looked him in the eye. “You’ve got an amazing girl here. She was quite a little pistol as a child. I should know. I was her Sunday School teacher.”
Kellie felt her cheeks flush. “Mrs. Dennison actually taught my Sunday School class for several years,” she explained. “She took us all the way through the Old and New Testaments. We studied over a hundred Bible characters, in all.”
“Probably more.” The older woman said. “And I could have taught much longer, but I had to retire after my hip surgery.” She finally let go of Nathan’s hand and smiled admiringly at the couple. “But I’ll never forget this girl. She was our class treasurer her freshman year in high school. Took great care of the offerings.”