‘Not a word,’ I lightly threaten them, as they attempt to hide their smirks. Adam hands me a towel. ‘Thanks.’
Standing slightly back from the others is the fourth man who I don’t recognise but who I intuitively know is the reason I lost my balance. He steps forward.
‘Well, hello, you must be Alexandra. I’m Leo.’ He holds out his hand toward me. I cannot believe I am meeting Leo for the first time like this.
‘Oh, Leo, great. Hi. I’m sorry, um … I’m wet.’ I quickly wipe my hand against the towel so I can shake his hand and see the twinkle of amusement in his azure eyes.
‘I see that. You are also quite a dancer.’ Oh, dear lord, how long had they been watching? Visions of me thinking I looked like a disco goddess quickly vanish and are quickly replaced by the reality of a tipsy mother in her mid-thirties, with two left feet, falling into the damn pool. Okay, now would be a good time for the ground to swallow me up or for me to jump back in the water and stay under with my eyes closed until the men disappear. Typical! Of all the times I could have met Leo looking sleek, confident and relaxed, instead I’m sodden, see-through and in a bikini, my wet hair slathered against my face and body and completely flustered.
‘Just … please … I just need a moment to, you know … sorry. I’ll be back …’ I quickly excuse myself and run into the bedroom to catch my breath and pull myself together.
Leo is here, right now, after all these years. Jeremy’s hero, his mentor. The person who helped him out of the emotional hole he went into when his brother Michael committed suicide and when none of his family and friends could reach him, me included. I’m in awe of this unknown man, even possibly a little jealous of him for being able to achieve what I could not, though grateful nonetheless. But we were so young, I was so young.
I can’t imagine how Jeremy — so strong, so alpha male — will behave with someone he admires so much, when he is the one who is used to being in control. Suddenly this piques my interest, my first and maybe only opportunity to see these two men interact with each other, two men who have had such a profound effect on each other’s lives. Fascination begins to compete with my mortification at my poolside performance. Of all the times …
‘Sweetheart, are you lost in there?’ Jeremy lightly taps on the door before entering the room.
‘That couldn’t have been more embarrassing, J. You could have warned me he was about to arrive.’ I can still sense the amusement beneath the mask he is trying to maintain for my benefit.
‘You were in the moment, AB, letting yourself go, just as you did when you sang and played guitar on our last rooftop together.’ His arms snake around my middle. ‘There must be something about you and rooftops, something seductive and delicious.’ His lips nip my neck. ‘I need to remember that … I’d never interrupt you when you’re in that space. It’s when you are at your most beautiful.’
‘Nice words to hear, but not helpful right at this moment. Leo! After many years of hearing about him and this is how I meet him.’ I indicate my state so he doesn’t miss my point.
‘He doesn’t care, you care. Come on, let me help. I want you back out there sooner rather than later.’
I slide my arms around his torso and kiss his chest. ‘If you help me get dressed, I may never get back out there.’
He guides my meandering hands away from the zip of his cargo pants.
‘You’re incorrigible and still a little tipsy, I see, even after your dunking.’ He pulls the wet dress over my head and begins to dry my body with the towel. A few seconds later, a dry dress is whipped over my head.
‘Jeez, you are moving so fast it’s making me dizzy,’ I complain.
He towel-dries my hair before looking for a brush. ‘You need to meet him properly. He has come back specifically for us.’
Suddenly I feel dread in the pit of my stomach. For us? ‘What do you mean, for us?’
I sit on the edge of the bed as he gently but quickly brushes my hair, something I’d usually enjoy under different circumstances.
‘So we can consider all the options.’
Clearly my time of being free from reality has come to an abrupt end.
‘Okay, you look fine.’ He grabs my hand and pulls me off the bed.
‘Jeremy, what are you planning?’ I sense he is up to something.
‘We’re just talking, Alexa. Now that everyone is here we can work this through.’ He looks directly into my eyes, his hands cupping my face, ensuring I meet his gaze. ‘You know how important Leo is to me, Alexa. Please don’t let me down.’
Talk about playing his trump card! What do I say to that? He plants his arm firmly around my waist and steers my reluctant body out the door. There is only one feeling you have when you are in a position such as this.
Foreboding.
I’m being led into a room full of testosterone — Leo, Adam, Robert and Jeremy. Men who have presumably come together for the sole purpose of talking me into doing something I know I can’t do.
Ladies, where are you when I need you? I’d give anything to be having a movie night with my girlfriends back at home, sipping tea, eating chocolate and having a laugh or a cry. Instead, I’m literally being dragged into probably the most significant discussion I’ve ever had in my life, knowing the odds are well and truly stacked against me. I will attempt to keep an open mind, as I drag a heart full of apprehension down the hallway.
Part Three
Cooperate with your destiny, don’t go against it,
don’t thwart it. Allow it to fulfil itself.
Nisargadatta Maharaj
Alexa
I re-enter the living room with Jeremy; everyone seated around the dining room table is apparently awaiting our arrival. Four sets of ominous eyes immediately gaze toward me. How could I have possibly forgotten Martin, who adds significant weight to the alpha dominance in the room. If Jeremy wasn’t holding on to me with a firm grip, I swear my legs would give way beneath me. I glance around, looking for any excuse to flee for a moment. I need an opportunity to clear my head before facing them and their potentially pointless arguments about what is best for me. Then genius strikes.
‘Ah, I’ll just go and check on the kids. I’ll be right back.’ I attempt to turn away from Jeremy but he has me anchored between his arms and steadily guides me toward one of the spare seats at the table.
‘They’re good, Alexa, sound asleep. I checked them less than ten minutes ago.’ Robert’s words effectively cut me off from any potential means of escape, even though they seem genuinely laced with sympathy. He pulls out a chair for Jeremy to place me in. Trapped, I start to fidget. Jeremy holds my hands together on my lap beneath his palm, possibly showing his support or ensuring I don’t run. In my twitchy state I can’t decipher which.
My heartbeat quickens as silence descends on the round table and everyone’s eyes focus on Leo, except mine, which are fixed on the table in front of me. His strong presence looms and it’s difficult to deny the respect he has from each of the men around the table.
‘Let me just say, it is so wonderful to finally meet you in person, Alexandra. I’ve been hearing about you for many years from Jaq and now here we are, brought together by such an uncanny sequence of events.’
It surprises me that Leo calls Jeremy Jaq, using the initials of his full name, Jeremy Alexander Quinn, just like his parents. I haven’t heard him called that for many years.
Unable to put it off any longer, I finally look up to meet his gaze and acknowledge his introduction, and I suddenly have an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. I’ve seen him, met him somewhere before. I become lost in his glistening blue eyes as if they are a window to his soul, potentially even my own soul. It is a feeling I haven’t experienced before, like some weird kind of sixth sense. A wave of kindness and protection veils me like a warm cloak as if time suddenly stands still; it momentarily disarms me, taking my breath away. Forcing myself to disconnect from his eyes, I realise everyone is waiting for me to respond, and my natural poli
teness kicks in.
‘Likewise, it’s lovely to meet you, too.’ I shake my head in an attempt to focus on the here and now as if I had just experienced some sort of time warp. ‘Though I have the strangest sense that I have met you somewhere before.’ My voice is soft, unsure.
‘Interesting … in another time, another place perhaps. Many paths are crossed during our lifetimes.’ His calm, philosophical response poses more questions that it answers. I think to ask a few of them, but instead I keep them to myself, shifting my bottom in the seat from the recent memory of my so-called ‘punishment’ at a time when questions were forbidden. Jeremy doesn’t miss my adjustment and tries to hide his grin, squeezing my hands within his palm.
‘Now, let’s progress to the discussion we have been waiting to have. Martin, I believe you have an update.’
It’s as though he is chairing a formal meeting — a mandatory one, clearly. All eyes turn to Martin.
‘Thanks, Leo. Salina sent through an update two hours ago. She now has confirmation that Jurilique is underground, situated at the Xsade laboratory in Slovenia where Alexandra was taken. She believes Votrubec is also being held there.’
Straight to business.
‘So he is alive?’ I can’t help but interrupt.
‘He made recent contact with his wife but she has not seen him since your escape. He told her he was working on a project requiring his presence around the clock and it may be a few weeks until he completes it.’ My heart sinks. The Witch is definitely holding him captive there, but at least he is alive which is a huge relief.
‘It is our understanding that she requires his expertise to conduct the testing, and experimentation on Alexandra’s blood. His potential release is dependent on her return and involvement.’ God, this just keeps getting worse. I lower my head as if both he and I are doomed for execution.
‘And did you meet with my contact at Interpol?’
‘Yes. On standby awaiting further instruction.’
‘Good, I’m pleased to hear it. Anything else, Martin?’ Leo asks.
‘Only that we received additional correspondence from Jurilique this morning, via a guest of the hotel who was asked to pass the message on, detailing Alexandra’s instructions for the meeting point.’
How has my life come to this?
‘And I assume you have passed that on?’
A pause. ‘Well, no, not exactly.’
‘Oh?’
‘It was ripped to shreds, but we have collected the pieces.’
I immediately flush scarlet — everyone around the table knows that I was the shredder. I may as well sound a siren it’s so obvious.
‘I see.’ As if he couldn’t see. I silently thank Leo for not making issue of it. ‘Thanks, Martin. Any questions before we move on?’ Heads shake no.
‘Okay. I think it is clear from the conversations I have had with each of you around this table where you stand in relation to responding to Jurilique’s attempted blackmail. Everyone except Alexandra.’
All eyes swivel to the bright beacon of my face. Leo continues to address me by my full name, which, along with his demeanour, provides me with an unexpected and surprising reassurance.
Jeremy hasn’t uttered a word since this meeting began and I half expect him to speak on my behalf given our recent disagreements. He remains silent and they wait patiently for me to respond. I release my hands from beneath Jeremy’s palm, take a sip of wine from my glass as my mouth has gone dry, pray for some Dutch courage and prepare to speak. Here goes nothing.
I explain what I have been trying to convey to Jeremy since the arrival of the letter. My fear for the children. My desperate need for this to be over to resume our normal lives, our careers. My desire to exist in society rather than become an outcast, a recluse. I talk for a long time and they sit and listen, not one interruption or question, just patience and understanding from around the table, which frankly, I find astonishing — not what I expected. I talk until I have almost no words left and finally sum up.
‘That is why there’s no other option than for me to give her what she wants, for the sake of all our lives.’ I take another sip of wine and only look up to meet their eyes when I replace the glass on the table.
Jeremy and Robert’s faces are brimming with emotions I can’t bear to register. Adam looks toward his brother and as they lock eyes, their heads tilt ever so slightly, acknowledging some silent agreement between them.
Leo speaks first. ‘You know that everyone around this table cares for you deeply, Alexandra, that we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t?’
‘Yes, of course. And I want to thank you for all you have done to protect me. I don’t know how I can ever repay you.’
‘Life isn’t about repayments. It’s about experiencing and learning, exploring the unknown. Something you have enabled quite a bit of recently.’
‘Don’t I know it,’ I say under my breath. Thankfully, Leo’s lips curl in a half smile rather than annoyance. He certainly is incredibly handsome and has aged magnificently for a man nearing fifty. He is fit and tanned, no doubt from his recent time in the heat of the jungle, with playful, reflective azure eyes that are bordered by thick black lashes and a classic, perfect American smile. I can see why people, at first glance, may consider that he and Jeremy could be related. They are of a similar build and stature, both exceptionally good-looking in the sense that the majority of straight woman and gay men could easily be caught staring idly at their bodies for far longer than would be deemed appropriate in public. Both share the same suave presence and intellectual confidence, the key difference being Leo’s relaxed and charming personality, compared to Jeremy’s more professional, urbane and commanding demeanour.
‘Yet, you see the only option available to you is the one provided by Madame Jurilique?’
I nod in silent agreement to Leo’s question.
‘Thank you for sharing your fears with us. Jeremy, would you like to share your perspective?’
He nods and states his side of the argument we have been having for days as though he is a barrister delivering his concluding argument to the judge and jury. If I didn’t fundamentally disagree with his case, I’d be bursting with pride at his succinct yet heartfelt delivery. In this particular instance, it doesn’t help me one bit. Nor does his reference to his concern that if one pharmaceutical company is interested in ‘acquiring’ my blood’s unique capability, that it would only be a matter of time before others cotton on and want access to the same thing, by any means, just like Xsade.
‘And Robert, anything to add?’ Leo certainly can’t be deemed anything but egalitarian. Robert quickly aligns himself with Jeremy, stating that giving in to Jurilique’s demands will not serve to keep either me or the children safe in the longer term and, like Jeremy, will not support my returning to Xsade under any circumstances, regardless of the impact of her smear campaign against me.
I’m a little aghast at both his knowledge of the issues we face and the depth of his convictions. Robert and Jeremy share solemn looks between them before looking back to Leo. God, what hope do I have? I look pleadingly toward them, feeling my energy to fight them draining from my limbs as well as from my words. ‘Please, both of you … how can you say that? You know I have no choice …’
‘Alexandra, I have an alternative option for you to consider this evening. One that, in all likelihood, hasn’t crossed your mind and one that I’d like us to explore, if I may. Would you care to hear it?’ Leo’s eloquent phrasing takes me by surprise every time he opens his mouth. I had always assumed he would be as direct as Jeremy can be, but it’s not the case.
How could I not be open to options? Particularly in circumstances such as these. What else is there to do? Resigned to the fact that I’m in his brother’s house, surrounded by men who admittedly care for me deeply, yet want me to do anything but what I need to do, I reluctantly nod.
‘Yes, Leo, of course.’
I hear Jeremy physically exhale at my agreement. His previo
us silence had been distracting me from thinking about the stress he must be feeling. We make eye contact and he kisses my palm, relief and tension still weaving through the muscles of his body.
Leo explains his proposal, describing the potential risks and dangers, and painting a detailed vision of a potential nirvana, the best-case scenario if everything goes according to plan. His monologue is compelling and allows me to wallow in a vision of the future that I have been incapable of considering given the immediate nature of Jurilique’s threat. What he is suggesting is beyond anything I could ever have conceived and goes so much further than merely the next few days. His passion makes the impossible seem possible, helping me to start believing in the idea that these horrible events have happened for a reason. That they have a purpose we are yet to discover and offer a path for us to take that would otherwise have been unavailable to us.
His language is engaging, enthusiastic and it opens pathways, as if he is reaching out to me and tempting me to escape with him, to take a risk, a journey not taken before, an undefined path. And I want to believe in him, more than I’ve ever wanted anything before. We are all mesmerised by his words, as if we are in a trance; he has captured the imagination of every mind around the table. I should have known that for a man like Jeremy to revere Leo like he does, he would need to be exceptional. He is.
As his speech ends, Leo meets my eyes and it’s as though I’m hypnotised by his, until my mind abruptly flashes with a shock of recognition. Leo is my owl, the owl in the dream I had on the plane to London. The one who is looking out for me, the one I acknowledged with a bow of my head when I had transformed into an eagle.
How much do I trust in my dreams? Should I give them credence? Questions scatter through my brain in less than a second before they are silenced. In this moment, I recognise that it is my destiny to fly with this man, in uncharted skies. I know I need to trust him with my life, as scary as that may be, but knowing too that my life depends on it. The perceived kindness and sense of calm I experienced just a short time ago gives weight to this notion. Perhaps Leo is the wise owl guiding us toward our undiscovered future. He certainly ensured Jeremy’s redirection many years ago and has stood by him ever since.