‘And how, pray tell, would you explain my inability to sit down to your dear friend, Leo?’ I ask cheekily.
‘I can assure you, sweetheart, it would be nothing he hasn’t seen before.’
‘Really? I wouldn’t have thought he was that way inclined.’ I’m a little surprised at this admission from Jeremy and notice that something in his demeanour alters ever so slightly.
‘He isn’t.’
Hmm, sounds like he is trying to shut me down, which just serves to pique my interest.
‘Well, what do you mean then?’
My clothes meet the same fate as his, landing scattered on the floor. No doubt a direct attempt to dissuade me from questioning him further, so I sit up to look at him eye to eye, which he avoids. Intriguing.
‘Jeremy, seriously, I know there is something you’re not telling me. Haven’t we been through enough recently without keeping more things from each other?’ Possibilities flicker through my brain in an attempt to connect his words, a sore arse and Leo. And then it hits me like a brick. Something that should have dawned on me way before now.
‘He was there, wasn’t he?’
J shuffles around the bed uncomfortably as I pin the words on him just as I straddle him physically while he weighs up his answer.
‘Please don’t pretend to not know what I’m talking about. I learnt my lesson about doing that to you the hard way. It would be insulting if you tried it in reverse.’ My tone is deadly serious. ‘He saw me, during the experiment? My pleasure, my pain, my arousal. He saw it all, didn’t he?’
I don’t even need Jeremy to answer me as I can hear the truth in his silence, see it in his body language. Nevertheless, I need him to acknowledge this to me now, personally.
‘Yes, Alexa, he was there,’ he admits solemnly.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I wasn’t sure how you’d respond. I assumed if you had wanted to know who was there you would have asked by now. But I can’t deny that I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable around him when you met him for the first time knowing what he had observed.’
‘And it was after … when he, well, saw me, experienced me like that, he asked for my thesis?’ I ask perplexed, this new version of events tumbling around in my mind.
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘To be honest, since all of this began he seems to have been on some sort of quest. It’s as if everything that happened during our weekend in Sydney sparked something in him. That’s why he offered me Avalon for your recovery and went to every extreme to ensure you were protected. After he received your thesis in the States he came straight down here to spend time in the jungle to experience soul flight, as you’re aware. When Moira eventually got the message through to him that you had been abducted, he was beside himself, apparently, stopping at nothing to help me help you, any way he could. Since then he seems to believe we have the key to the missing link he has been looking for his whole life, that us being here is much more than coincidence, as he said by the fire. But he can’t explain any more than that to me at the moment. It’s as if he’s depending on your own experience of soul flight to shed light on everything that seems to be in darkness at the moment.’ He allows me to remain straddling his body, gently stroking the curves of my waist, as I absorb his words.
‘Now you know everything and I am truly sorry if you are upset that he was there.’
He lowers his eyes as if giving me time and space to consider my response.
Am I upset that he was there? I may have been if I had known before, but now that I know him, have seen the look in his eyes, how he provides me with a serenity I’ve never experienced before, I know I’m not upset. Something seems exactly right about him being there. It’s as though my dream about the owl with Leo’s eyes, and my flying as the eagle — trying to protect my eggs in the nest lest they should fall — is making some strange kind of subconscious sense. Everything seems to have unfolded in a perfectly timed sequence of events for me not to be upset or angry, just accepting of this reality. Maybe the unusual connection I feel to Leo is founded on something after all, just something I don’t have the knowledge to understand yet.
Jeremy is patiently waiting for me to process this information before seeking my response.
‘Would you have told me if I had asked?’ I say.
‘Asked if he was there?’ I nod. ‘Of course. I can’t lie to you, AB.’
‘And you’ll tell him that I know?’
‘Only if you are comfortable with that.’
For some reason, I feel that Leo knowing that I’m aware that he was there, is a critical piece of this mystic puzzle but I have no idea why.
‘Yeah, I am actually.’ Jeremy’s face collapses in relief that we have managed to work through this potential danger zone between us.
‘Is there anything else you want to ask before I claim what’s mine for the foreseeable future? Or at least for tonight.’ His mood changes and his eyes glaze with lust. I can see the heightening of his erection and shake my head, indicating the matter is closed for the moment, which may be likened to waving a red flag to a bull.
Jeremy has clearly taken Leo’s sexual ultimatum as a challenge to possess every orifice of my body. We fly to heaven and back too many times to count, my voice becoming too hoarse to achieve any further coherent sound, which should no doubt benefit my future silence. Our sexual intercourse is akin to the jungle animals surrounding us. It is as if he has been told he could never touch me again in his life, such is his desire for me tonight. The man is insatiable. For the first time in my life, I finally decide to swallow his seed, which leaves him utterly dumbfounded and, seemingly, in absolute awe of me. The euphoria I feel at succumbing to this final act of surrender with him is an astoundingly and surprisingly beautiful moment between us, one neither of us will forget, so firmly emblazoned is it in our memories.
Many, many hours later, I’m finally allowed to fall asleep in sheer physical and sexual exhaustion. Not that I’m complaining, it is a blissful, sated sleep for me. I can’t say the same for him.
When I awake, Jeremy has a bath running and my tired limbs appreciate soaking in the warmth for the last time in however long.
‘Oh no, you’ve got to be kidding.’ I shake my head in response to the erection striding toward me. ‘You can’t possibly have anything left in you.’ His face says it all. Apparently he does.
Eventually, we make it to the main house of our jungle village for breakfast, though I’m sure we’ve well and truly passed that time of day. I’m absolutely starving and thankfully Jeremy, who seems to have more energy after our activities rather than less, is happy to whip up a storm in the kitchen, which I enthusiastically devour. The kids are racing around gathering things together.
‘Jordan, what’s going on, what’s the rush?’ I manage to catch him as he passes in a frenzy of activity.
‘We’re going to the village to live with Marcu and his friends for a few days.’ I remember that Marcu is the teenager who now knows the macarena.
Elizabeth joins him, equally excited. ‘They’ve invited us to go and we’re leaving in the next hour. It’s going to be a real jungle adventure.’
They continue past as I stare after them, astonished. When was all this decided? My motherly instinct automatically kicks into gear. I’m not used to plans about my kids being made without my direct involvement. Thoughts of anacondas, tarantulas, panthers, piranhas and giant sloths falling from trees, bombard my brain, as I fear for their safety.
Robert appears conveniently from around the corner with a backpack ready and notices the concerned look on my face. ‘It’s okay, Alex. Adam and I are going too so there is no need to worry. It’ll be a great experience for them. They’ll love it, just like they loved the wilderness in Tassie. Besides, how many kids get to have an experience like this in the Brazilian rainforest?’ I remain unswayed. ‘Anyway, Leo tells me you have an adventure of your own starting today.’
At this reminder, butterflies
take off in full flight in my belly and I’m at a loss for words.
‘Thanks for worrying about us though,’ Robert continues, ‘but we’ll be fine. The kids have been waiting for hours to say goodbye to you. We were told to leave you both alone,’ he says with a cheeky grin.
‘I … oh … yes, well …’ I blush as I glance at Jeremy who is standing innocently at the sink, pretending to focus on doing the washing up.
‘And now they can. Elizabeth, Jordan,’ he yells, ‘as soon as you say goodbye to Mum, we’ll be ready to go.’
Their excited faces bounce toward me as they wrap their arms around me in little bear hug goodbyes. There’s no time for any emotion given their enthusiastic swarm of activity before they vanish.
I turn toward Jeremy just as Leo appears from the room next door to join us and I just shake my head at the perfection of their planning. There’s nothing quite like having every detail of your life coordinated to the extent where it is absolutely impossible to go against the flow of the tsunami. Men!
They both smile knowingly, their conspiracy a success. They knew full well that saying goodbye to the kids would be the most difficult thing for me to do, but it only took a few seconds and they magically disappeared. Deep down, I know it is foolish to underestimate the intelligence of the men standing before me, so why am I so surprised it has happened this way? Maybe I’d always secretly hoped that I could outsmart them. Even more idiotic on my part. I don’t bother saying anything, it would be futile anyway so I just accept what is.
Jeremy reassures me with a kiss on the lips that all will be okay and hands me a jungle-strength coffee. Leo, still with the grin on his face, places his hand on my shoulders. A warm electric current immediately shivers through my entire body. I really need to get to the bottom of why he has such an effect on me.
‘Good to see you’re making the most of kisses and coffee before you go. We’ll leave as soon as you’re ready.’
Jeremy growls at him and turns to me. ‘That’s us being told, sweetheart. The time has come.’
I realise most of what I may need has already been thoughtfully packed on my behalf, so I’m concentrating on toiletries in the bathroom, though how much I’ll need for a jungle trek I’m not too sure. It’s not like it will be five-star, or even one-star for that matter, though I suppose it will definitely be millions of stars if I consider a different perspective. I’m fossicking through the cupboard when Jeremy appears at the door.
‘Nearly ready? I need to do your medical before we leave.’
‘Medical? Honestly?’ He stares at me with a ‘What else would you expect from me’ look. I should have known that Jeremy would take his ‘scientific’ responsibilities as seriously as he does his career. ‘Great, so the research begins …’ His smile is both kind and non-negotiable. ‘I’m just looking for a new contraceptive patch. I’ve just realised I haven’t changed it since we’ve been here, I’m sure I must be well overdue.’
‘I’m afraid you won’t find it in there, sweetheart. It wasn’t packed.’ My searching pauses, but I don’t absorb his words.
‘Would it bother you, going au naturel for this trip?’ He slides his arms around my waist.
‘Oh, well, I’m not sure, I haven’t thought about it. I suppose not, but I’ve had a patch since Jordan was born …’
‘We were hoping you wouldn’t mind your hormone levels returning to their natural state in your body for this trip. I meant to speak to you about it on the plane, but it slipped my mind and I haven’t thought about it since we’ve been here.’
‘Well, it would have been nice to be consulted, I must admit. But what about —’
He pre-empts me, ‘No sex rule, remember? That should keep you safe.’ He turns me around so I’m facing him, and I see genuine regret in his eyes.
I just shake my head, flabbergasted, yet knowing there is no use arguing about it. ‘Whatever … go with the flow …’
‘Thanks, AB, and I’m sorry, I did honestly mean to discuss it with you.’ He looks relieved that I’m not making an issue of it. I throw my toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant and some moisturiser into my toiletries bag and at the last minute, a packet of tampons. Just what I need in the jungle, a humongous period. I hope they realise what they’re in for with the mood swings that will accompany ‘au naturel’!
Dr Quinn goes into full professional mode conducting his medical on my body, recording every response with great finesse. There is no deterring him from his task, although he concedes a few smiles at my cheeky passes at him. Blood tests, body measurements, pap test, reflexes, blood pressure … the list goes on.
Eventually, we are ready to go. The good news is, I don’t have to carry a single thing except my water bottle, which is fantastic for me. My main aim apparently is to absorb myself in walking to the rhythm of the jungle. Can’t be too hard, surely. Oh, and make the most of conversation while others still have the right to engage with me. I have no idea what I’m walking into and I know that backing out now is not an option. Everything that has happened up until now has been preparing me for what lies ahead.
I feel a little anxious, but with a touch of excitement, which surprises me though I’m not sure whether that puts me in the category of brave or stupid. No doubt I’ll find out soon enough.
Jeremy rubs his hands along either side of my arms as though he can actually feel the nervous tension building in my system. ‘I will be with you every step of the way, sweetheart. Always by your side.’
‘And you trust that this will work out, J?’ I can’t help but question his commitment, one final time.
‘I trust Leo wholeheartedly. He’s never let me down in all the years I have known him, so yes, I trust that we should embrace this process and see where it leads us. Any other path is even more fraught with danger.’
I swallow my fear at his words, knowing them to be true and pull his head toward me to make my last contact with his lips. Jeremy packs up his medical kit, which will no doubt be accompanying us and I put my Jungle Jane clothes back on — sadly, they are not quite as attractive as the movies depict — and we join the others who have been patiently waiting.
I sense that now is the beginning of the end of my journey. One that I have committed to take, which is why we are here. There is no looking back. I need my companions’ bravery as much as I need my own as we take our first steps into this unknown adventure together.
Lake Bled
Salina feels as though she has struck gold when her plan falls into place. She reaches the end of the track and appears in a lobby where the group of people are preparing to enter the facility. They have white lab coats on and not a hair our of place, so she quickly assembles her hospital outfit and grabs a pair of thick-framed glasses out of her backpack, ensuring her small Smith & Wesson Bodyguard handgun is tucked discreetly in her coat pocket.
Leaving her backpack in the shadows, she casually meanders over to join the main group and blends with Xsade’s new inductee scientists. Shiny silver doors ping open to reveal a large elevator. They cram in before descending further beneath the lake.
The facility is more impressive and high tech than she expected and she stares at the silver-suited volunteers her group passes in the corridors, trying to imagine Dr Blake in similar attire. Salina has memorised every detail of the case and feels like she knows both doctors, Blake and Votrubec, intimately.
She continues along with the inductees and is pleased they are encouraged to ask questions, helping her to establish the basic layout of the lab. She wonders where they could be keeping Josef. For all she knows, they could have a whole series of lower levels. No wonder Alexa’s bracelet didn’t register; it’s as though they are in the depths of the earth. Her phone is definitely useless down here and she hopes Luke isn’t too concerned about how long she’s been gone just yet.
One of the young, eager scientists asks their tour leader if Madame Jurilique still intends to address the group at the end of the information session. Indeed she does. Nothing
quite like having internal verification that the target is in the building.
Part Five
The day science begins to study non-physical
phenomena, it will make more progress in one
decade than in all the previous centuries of
existence.
Nikola Tesla
Alexa
Our little group consists of the two tribal elders, Yaku, Leo, Jeremy and myself. The jeeps picked us up from Avalon and delivered us to the spot from which we will commence our trek. I didn’t think it seemed possible to be more deeply in the jungle than we were at Avalon, but once again I tell myself to always expect the unexpected, the new mantra for my life as my preconceived constructs continue to be eroded.
Now that our actual journey is underway, I do feel a sense of calm … it is virtually impossible for any Xsade spies to have a clue where we are. These thoughts, among others, meander through my mind as we continue our climb upward through the mountain jungle. The heat and humidity is at breaking point and I’m looking forward to the daily afternoon downpour that leaves you soaked to the core but also refreshed and revived. I’m continually drinking my water, which is tinged with citrus and mint, replenishing what I’m losing in perspiration. Conversation has been sporadic as we settle into the rhythm of our steps, each finding the pace that suits us best. Nothing can be rushed in this heat; it would leave you with no air to breathe. I begin to find it quite meditative, slowing my breathing, easing my pace but knowing I’m slowly moving forward, step by step to somewhere, even if it is unknown to me.
The jungle is brimming with insect and bird life and is almost dreamlike in its vibrant beauty. Leo was right, you don’t need much conversation when you immerse yourself in a natural wonderland such as this.
Our little group pauses at a small clearing to take in the magnificent forest below as the rainclouds come tumbling in. I smile at Jeremy and inhale the scent of the rain deeply into my lungs before it actually arrives. It is one of my favourite smells — the earth’s perfume as she awaits the liquid that will quench her thirst and give her the gift of abundant life.