“Well, I’m not in that zone right now, Vanessa. And everything I do is a lot more painful now,” she told me. “It takes a lot more out of me to fail. So yeah, I’m taking a rest. And I need it.”
She looked me in the eye and said, “But that doesn’t mean that you have to take a rest. You’re just getting started. So you find that zone for yourself, and whatever you need, I’ll help you with it. But for me . . . I think I’ve challenged myself in enough ways already. And I’ll challenge myself again. I know I will. But not today. That’s all I’m saying.
“Maybe it’s your turn now, Vanessa,” she commented. “So you show the world what you got. And you stop hiding behind me.”
I listened to her with no comment.
She nodded her head and continued. “So yeah, I give you permission to outshine the master now. Break law number one. I’m just curious to see how far you can go with it.”
“So you’re putting me in charge now?” I asked her to make sure.
Tracy shook her head. “No. Not hardly. You’re putting yourself in charge. And that was the way it was supposed to happen,” she said. “You’re following the script, Vanessa. This is your movie now. And your book. I’m just a character in it.”
I heard her, but I didn’t believe her. So I started smiling and shaking it off. My cousin was trying to patronize me. It was reverse psychology.
I said, “I haven’t done anything to deserve a book. And I surely don’t have a movie. I’m just out here trying to get your movie made.”
My cousin smiled at me and said, “We’ll see. You need Omar Tyree’s number?”
I started laughing. Tracy had turned what could have been a tense moment between us into ridiculous sarcasm.
I said, “Nobody would want to read a book about me. What have I done?”
Tracy said, “No, the real question is, ‘What could you do if given the opportunity?’ That’s what all people want to know. How far will we push ourselves to get what we say we want? And that’s what you’re doing, Vanessa. You’re pushing yourself, you’re pushing me, you’re pushing everyone around you. And that’s interesting. Because I believe that eventually you’re gonna get what you want. And I think people need to see that, from the bottom up.”
I thought about it, and I finally saw my cousin’s point. There I was, a little lost black girl from North Philadelphia out there in Hollywood trying to push white folks’ buttons into making a film about another little lost black girl from Philadelphia, who just happened to be my big cousin.
Tracy asked me, “You ever heard of Elaine Brown from the Black Panther Party?”
I shook my head. “No. I’ve heard of Assata Shakur after you told me about her and her book. And Tupac’s mother, Afeni Shakur, was a Black Panther. And then Angela Davis.”
Tracy said, “Everybody’s heard of Angela Davis.”
“Not everybody,” I argued. There were plenty of people my age who knew nothing about the Black Panther Party.
“Anyway,” Tracy said, “Elaine Brown was from North Philadelphia, too. And she wrote a book called A Taste of Power around the same time that my book first came out, in the early nineties. You need to get that and read it. Then you’ll see what I’m talking about. It’s time for urban black girls to have their stories told on film. You’re right about that. And I want to see it happen as much as you do. So I’ll give you all of the support you need to make it happen.”
I listened to my cousin and accepted the challenge. It was all up to me now. And that made me a little nervous. Did I really have what it took to get things done? I wasn’t even out of school yet.
* * *
Once we arrived back home, I got to thinking to myself and brainstorming for the rest of the day. Then I came up with my own poem. Not to say that I could compete with Tracy or anything, but we all had to start somewhere. So I wrote it out in my notepad while stretched out on the bed:
I was driven out of poverty / I was driven out of desire / I was driven out of purpose / I was driven off of need / I was driven by my girls / I was driven by my sisters and mother / And I was driven for the love of the girls in the hood / to make magic shine on us for a change / and then my cousin gave me the key to the car / and told me to take us all to the drive-in / so that we could watch our movie / with popcorn / and soda / and cherry Twizzlers.
I called it “Driven.” I had written better poems before, but like I said, I couldn’t compete with Tracy in the writing department. At least not yet. But “Driven” was what I was feeling at the time, so it was relevant.
Then I got another phone call from Anthony.
I smiled as soon as I heard his voice. I thought guys were supposed to act up once they got some from a girl. Maybe he just needed seconds before he would act up. But his phone calls were flattering while they lasted.
“You can’t wait until the end of the week to get at me again, hunh?” I teased him.
He laughed. He said, “Naw, I was just calling to see how things were going with the Flyy Girl movie.”
I had forgotten I had even told him about it. I guess I was thinking about having sex with him more than he was.
I said, “Yeah, I can see now that it’s gonna take a while to happen, but I’m up for it. We just have to find the right people to attach to it to make it attractive enough for a studio to shoot.”
“Well, good luck on that,” he told me. “Hollywood finds ways to shoot as many silly films as they can for black folks. But when it comes to films that actually mean something . . . This Flyy Girl movie would mean something.”
I was surprised he was so interested in it all of a sudden.
I said, “How do you know?”
I was assuming that he was just talking me up and hadn’t even read the book.
He said, “I just finished reading it. It was a good fast read with lots of action in it. I think guys would like the movie, too. It had enough edge to it. And all of those girls were going through a lot. I mean, serious shit. It’s not like a happy-go-lucky white girl movie. Flyy Girl is real. And you had a whole lot of criminals in there for guys to play.”
I started laughing. He had no idea how good it made me feel to have him support the idea. I could just kiss him through the phone.
I said, “Well, thank you. So I can count on your ticket at the box office when the movie comes out?” I joked to him. But I was serious.
He said, “Wait a minute, I’m supposed to be at the premiere, right. I’m an insider.”
I asked him, “So what does that mean, you get all freebies?”
He said, “Look, I’ll pay for my whole family to see it when it comes out, I just want to be at the premiere.”
“Oh, so you think you’re special or something?” I teased him again.
He said, “I better be. Or are you just using me for my moves?”
He had me laughing. I said, “We’ll see how long you behave. We’ll see.”
“Behave?”
He made it sound like a foreign word.
I said, “Yeah, treat me right. We’ll see how long you last.”
He said, “You make it sound like you expect the worst.”
I didn’t want to respond to that right away. I mean, honestly, I just did Anthony out of frustration. I didn’t expect him to follow up with me like he was. Nevertheless, it wasn’t a bad thing. It was just unexpected.
Finally, I said, “No comment. I don’t have anything to judge, so I won’t. Is that fair enough for you?” I asked him.
“Yeah, don’t judge me until I give you something to judge,” he agreed.
“Okay, that’s a deal then.”
When I hung up the phone with him, I smiled my behind off. He was surely sweating me hard to get on my good side. I wasn’t used to that with guys. Or maybe I had chosen too many egomaniacs who thought too much about themselves to sweat a girl the right way.
My cousin Tracy walked into the room on me and caught me cheesing.
She said, “That didn’t sound like
a girlfriend call.” She looked into my face and added, “And it don’t look like it, either.”
I tried to contain my smile and couldn’t.
Tracy asked me, “So, who is he?”
It was the moment of truth between us. But why did I need to put my business on the table?
“I mean . . .”
How exactly could I tell my cousin to butt out of my private affairs? Now that I had something going, I didn’t feel so open about telling her any more.
She said, “You promised you would tell me,” right on cue.
I looked away and couldn’t believe it. I had put my foot in my mouth, not knowing how hard it would be to spill the beans on my love life. It was like making love out in the hallway. But I was unable to realize that until I had done it.
Tracy shook her head and grinned at me. She said, “I knew you would regret your tough talk. Your silence only proves that you’re ready now. So it’s time for us to get together and work out our system to keep you safe and sound. I won’t worry you about it tonight. We’ll talk later in the week, after you’ve warmed up to the idea.”
I sighed and said, “Thank you.” I had other things on my mind to think about and to prepare for.
“So, what’s this big meeting about at the office tomorrow?” my cousin asked me on point again.
I guess she had heard about it from Charmaine or one of my girls.
I answered, “Building the Flyy Girl franchise,” and that’s all I had to say about it. Tracy knew what I planned to do. I was going to go for it all.
She nodded and smiled at me.
“Does anyone else know about Alexandria’s pregnancy?”
I shook my head. “That’s for her to reveal when she’s ready to. But she’s gonna have to eventually. So I’ll just wait it out and respect her privacy.”
Tracy nodded and said, “Good idea.” Then she headed back out the door. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” she told me.
I got right back to my brainstorming. I would have a power meeting at the Flyy Girl offices in Inglewood, where I planned to shock my girls into submission with candor, organization, and my solid plan of execution. And I couldn’t wait.
My Turn
I showed up at the Flyy Girl Ltd. office for our meeting bright and early that Wednesday morning. I wore the rust-colored Flyy Girl tee with blue jeans and high heels, and I was ready to be all business. The meeting was set for ten o’clock sharp, before any of my girls had classes or work that day. But I was there before nine, and so was Charmaine.
As soon as Charmaine saw me walk into the office, she began to smile. She nodded her head and said, “I’m proud of you, Vanessa.”
I was confused by it. I hadn’t even said anything yet.
“You’re proud of me? I haven’t even done anything,” I told her. She had me puzzled.
She said, “You’re about to. I can already see it. This is your graduation party.”
She said, “You have so much maturity at your age. It’s amazing.”
I smiled back at her. I said, “That’s what you get when you have to run a household of two younger sisters with a mother who expects you to handle them like you’re an adult. I’ve been in leadership training for years. So this is nothing but the next level for me. I’m already used to it.”
Charmaine nodded again and showed me the new designs that she had been working on. Instead of the Flyy Girl logo running along the ribs, she had it running across the shoulders and down the arms now. I had told Charmaine that we needed to continue making our brand name visible, and she had listened to me.
I smiled and said, “No one can miss that. And I like how you tapered the sides to make it fit tighter.”
She said, “I got that idea from Hooters. Tapering the sides makes the breasts stick out a little more.”
She also had samples of Flyy Girl Ltd. business cards. My girls were all listed on the cards as sales agents. Tracy was the CEO, Charmaine was the president, and I was the vice president.
Imagine having a business card that listed you as the vice president of an explosive, up-and-coming company before turning twenty. And I had no doubts in my mind, we were definitely ready to explode. Tracy was allowing us to use the Flyy Girl name, and with Charmaine’s talent, and my die-hard energy to make it all happen, we were sure to take the country by storm.
I looked at the card samples and pondered out loud. “I wonder how my girls will take this.”
Charmaine grimaced and said, “What, you being the vice president? Look here, today will also be your official leap into authority. Because if they’re too close to you to follow orders, then we have plenty of other pretty girls in California who will. Hell, we could do our own Flyy Girl fashion shows.”
Charmaine had jumped on one of my many ideas before I had a chance to reveal them to my girls an hour later.
I said, “Oh, trust me. Now that Tracy is allowing me to run the show, there are going to be plenty of things that we’re going to do to create attention for ourselves.”
Charmaine continued to smile at me. She said, “Well, let’s go get ’em, girl,” and made me laugh.
Petula was the first to arrive at the office at half-past nine, followed by Jasmine and Sasha at quarter to ten. Alexandria walked in at five of ten, and Maddy hustled into the office at seven after ten. By then, we were all engaged in small talk about the new designs and our business cards. But as soon as Maddy took her seat, late, I went into my planned speech.
I stood in front of everyone in our meeting room while they were all seated and listening.
I said, “As we all know by now, our trip to Philadelphia was a mere taste of what could happen. We were able to see up close and personal just how popular the franchise of Flyy Girl is, and we were able to sell every piece of clothing we had. Now we have enough orders for our initial designs to pay for themselves. But that’s not enough.”
I told them, “I learned in my first Hollywood meeting yesterday that sex gets you attention, and everything revolves around money.”
“Well, who didn’t know that?” Maddy spoke up.
I ignored her and kept going.
I said, “So our goal is to be sexy and to make noise at every event in L.A. that means something in fashion, hip-hop, and film. At least one of us has to be there, and while we’re there, we have to find out who are the power people and movers and shakers in the room, and we get their business cards, cell phone numbers, hobbies, pet peeves, you name it. Then we bring that information back here to the office to file in our Rolodex of contacts and add it to our email lists.”
I said, “Now while we’re out there, we always have to be dressed in something from the Flyy Girl Ltd. line, and we make sure that we don’t get personal with these people. So do plan to keep your panties on,” I told them.
They all began to laugh, but I was dead serious.
Maddy said, “That means you, Jasmine. If you even have any panties on.” She was all jokes and sarcasm even after walking in late to the meeting. But I didn’t sweat her antics that morning, because I realized that whoever could not get the job done could be replaced.
Maddy would be her own bad medicine. I had no more time for games—with her or with anyone else. I was on a mission. Period!
“After a while, we want to begin hosting our own parties, fashion shows, sponsored events, et cetera, to continue pushing our brand name and products while gathering more contacts,” I told them.
“Our goal is to always be seen and heard, and when we’re seen and heard, people will continue to talk about us and whatever we’re pushing. And eventually, we want to be able to award Flyy Girl scholarships to colleges, have a Flyy Girl of the Year pageant. Everything.”
Maddy said, “It sounds like you’re trying to sell us like Pepsi.”
They all laughed again, but I figured why not.
I said, “The original meaning of a flyy girl is someone who rises above the mundane, who is bold enough to stand out. And in a world where so many
young urban girls are afraid to express themselves in positive ways, I figure that being flyy should be looked at as a good thing. And I want us to be able to stand up and express ourselves in every way that’s good for us.”
Tonya raised her hand.
I nodded to her and gave her the okay to ask her question.
“I hate to bring this up while you’re on a roll and everything, but will we be paid for all of this? Because I have bills and things to be paid.”
It was a legitimate question, and one that I was prepared for.
I told her, “Yes, you will be paid. And important names and phone numbers of new contacts are extra commission. But again, I don’t want any of us sleeping around with people just to get those contacts. So keep your one man or whatever, and keep everything else business, because I don’t want any of us getting the wrong reputation and poisoning the brand.”
Sasha nodded and said, “You’re right about that. Otherwise, they’ll start to call us the flyy hoes.”
“Speak for yourself,” Petula commented. “I know how to stay professional.”
“And you’re saying that I don’t?” Sasha argued with her.
“You made the comment. I’m just defending my honor.”
Charmaine looked at me and shook her head.
I told my girls, “We’re all going to have to use our young ages to our advantage, and be mature about everything we do, while allowing people to know that we’re young and doing it. I’ve noticed that powerful people like to use and identify with the youth, so we want to use that. However, we never want to act young, so keep the bickering to a minimum. We really don’t have time for that.”
Charmaine nodded and smiled at me again. I was working it.
Alexandria was all ears and hadn’t said a word. I didn’t know how long she would be with us anyway. She was preoccupied with her life and her new pregnancy.
I said, “All of the details concerning our pay will be worked out as we continue to meet orders for Flyy Girl Ltd. But I want none of us to expect to get rich at this stage. We’ll make enough for us to do what we need to do as college students, and by the time we’re all finished with school or whatever, the company shall have grown into a real force for all of us, with the hope of our film hitting the silver screens. So if we all play our cards right, and meet the people we need to meet to make all of the right connections, we’ll be on our way to getting the green light that we need to make our movie. And once our movie gets made . . .” I paused for effect. “The sky is the limit,” I told them. “Everything we do turns to gold from then on.”