the luncheon which was served in the physical laboratory was replete with novel features. A miniature blastfurnace four feet high was on the banquet table and a narrow gauge railroad forty feet long ran round the edge of the table. Instead of molten metal the blastfurnace poured hot punch into small cars on the railroad. Icecream was served in the shape of railroad ties and bread took the shape of locomotives.
Mr. Carnegie, while extolling the advantages of higher education in every branch of learning, came at last to this conclusion: Manual labor has been found to be the best foundation for the greatest work of the brain.
VICE PRESIDENT EMPTIES A BANK
Come on and hear
Alexander’s Ragtime Band
It is the best
It is the best
brother of Jesse James declares play picturing him as bandit trainrobber and outlaw is demoralizing district battle ends with polygamy, according to an investigation by Salt Lake ministers, still practiced by Mormons clubwomen gasp
It is the best band in the land
say circus animals only eat Chicago horsemeat Taxsale of Indiana lots marks finale of World’s Fair boom uses flag as ragbag killed on cannibal isle keeper falls into water and sealions attack him.
The launch then came alongside the half deflated balloon of the aerostat which threatened at any moment to smother Santos Dumont. The latter was half pulled and half clambered over the gunwale into the boat.
The prince of Monaco urged him to allow himself to be taken on board the yacht to dry himself and change his clothes. Santos Dumont would not leave the launch until everything that could be saved had been taken ashore, then, wet but smiling and unconcerned, he landed amid the frenzied cheers of the crowd.
The Camera Eye (3)
o qu’il a des beaux yeux said the lady in the seat opposite but She said that was no way to talk to children and the little boy felt all hot and sticky but it was dusk and the lamp shaped like half a melon was coming on dim red and the train rumbled and suddenly I’ve been asleep and it’s black dark and the blue tassel bobs on the edge of the dark shade shaped like a melon and everywhere there are pointed curved shadows (the first time He came He brought a melon and the sun was coming in through the tall lace windowcurtains and when we cut it the smell of melons filled the whole room) No don’t eat the seeds deary they give you appendicitis
but you’re peeking out of the window into the black rumbling dark suddenly ranked with squat chimneys and you’re scared of the black smoke and the puffs of flame that flare and fade out of the squat chimneys Potteries dearie they work there all night Who works there all night? Workingmen and people like that laborers travailleurs greasers
you were scared
but now the dark was all black again the lamp in the train and the sky and everything had a blueblack shade on it and She was telling a story about
Longago Beforetheworldsfair Beforeyouwereborn and they went to Mexico on a private car on the new international line and the men shot antelope off the back of the train and big rabbits jackasses they called them and once one night Longago Beforetheworldsfair Beforeyouwereborn one night Mother was so frightened on account of all the rifleshots but it was allright turned out to be nothing but a little shooting they’d been only shooting a greaser that was all
that was in the early days
Lover of Mankind
Debs was a railroad man, born in a weatherboarded shack at Terre Haute.
He was one of ten children.
His father had come to America in a sailingship in ’49,
an Alsatian from Colmar; not much of a moneymaker, fond of music and reading,
he gave his children a chance to finish public school and that was about all he could do.
At fifteen Gene Debs was already working as a machinist on the Indianapolis and Terre Haute Railway.
He worked as locomotive fireman,
clerked in a store
joined the local of the Brotherhood of Locomotive Firemen, was elected secretary, traveled all over the country as organizer.
He was a tall shamblefooted man, had a sort of gusty rhetoric that set on fire the railroad workers in their pineboarded halls
made them want the world he wanted,
a world brothers might own
where everybody would split even:
I am not a labor leader. I don’t want you to follow me or anyone else. If you are looking for a Moses to lead you out of the capitalist wilderness you will stay right where you are. I would not lead you into this promised land if I could, because if I could lead you in, someone else would lead you out.
That was how he talked to freighthandlers and gandywalkers, to firemen and switchmen and engineers, telling them it wasn’t enough to organize the railroadmen, that all workers must be organized, that all workers must be organized in the workers’ cooperative commonwealth.
Locomotive fireman on many a long night’s run,
under the smoke a fire burned him up, burned in gusty words that beat in pineboarded halls; he wanted his brothers to be free men.
That was what he saw in the crowd that met him at the Old Wells Street Depot when he came out of jail after the Pullman strike,
those were the men that chalked up nine hundred thousand votes for him in nineteen twelve and scared the frockcoats and the tophats and diamonded hostesses at Saratoga Springs, Bar Harbor, Lake Geneva with the bogy of a socialist president.
But where were Gene Debs’ brothers in nineteen eighteen when Woodrow Wilson had him locked up in Atlanta for speaking against war,
where were the big men fond of whisky and fond of each other, gentle rambling tellers of stories over bars in small towns in the Middle West,
quiet men who wanted a house with a porch to putter around and a fat wife to cook for them, a few drinks and cigars, a garden to dig in, cronies to chew the rag with
and wanted to work for it
and others to work for it;
where were the locomotive firemen and engineers when they hustled him off to Atlanta Penitentiary?
And they brought him back to die in Terre Haute
to sit on his porch in a rocker with a cigar in his mouth,
beside him American Beauty roses his wife fixed in a bowl;
and the people of Terre Haute and the people in Indiana and the people of the Middle West were fond of him and afraid of him and thought of him as an old kindly uncle who loved them, and wanted to be with him and to have him give them candy,
but they were afraid of him as if he had contracted a social disease, syphilis or leprosy, and thought it was too bad,
but on account of the flag
and prosperity
and making the world safe for democracy,
they were afraid to be with him,
or to think much about him for fear they might believe him;
for he said:
While there is a lower class I am of it, while there is a criminal class I am of it, while there is a soul in prison I am not free.
The Camera Eye (4)
riding backwards through the rain in the rumbly cab looking at their two faces in the jiggly light of the four-wheeled cab and Her big trunks thumping on the roof and He reciting Othello in his lawyer’s voice
Her father loved me, oft invited me
Still questioned me the story of my life
From year to year, the battles, sieges, fortunes
That I have past.
I ran it through, even from my boyish days,
To th’ very moment that he bade me tell it
Wherein I spoke of the most disastrous chances
Of moving accidents by flood and field
Of hairbreadth ’scapes i’ th’ imminent deadly breach
why that’s the Schuylkill the horse’s hoofs rattle sharp on smooth wet asphalt after cobbles through the gray streaks of rain the river shimmers ruddy with winter mud When I was your age Jack I dove off this bridge through the rail of the bridge we can look way down into
the cold rainyshimmery water Did you have any clothes on? Just my shirt
Mac
Fainy stood near the door in the crowded elevated train; against the back of the fat man who held on to the strap in front of him, he kept rereading a letter on crisp watermarked stationery:
The Truthseeker Literary Distributing Co., Inc.
General Offices 1104 S. Hamlin Avenue
Chicago, Ill. April 14, 1904
Fenian O’H. McCreary
456 N. Wood Street
Chicago, Ill.
DEAR SIR:
We take the pleasure to acknowledge yours of the 10th inst.
In reference to the matter in hand we feel that much could be gained by a personal interview. If you will be so good as to step around to the above address on Monday April 16th at nine o’clock, we feel that the matter of your adaptability for the position for which you have applied can be thoroughly thrashed out.
Yours in search for Truth,
EMMANUEL R. BINGHAM, D.D.
Fainy was scared. The train got to his station too soon. He had fifteen minutes to walk two blocks in. He loafed along the street, looking in store windows. There was a golden pheasant, stuffed, in a taxidermist’s; above it hung a big flat greenish fish with a sawtoothed bill from which dangled a label:
SAWFISH (pristis perrotetti)
Habitat Gulf and Florida waters. Frequents shallow bays and inlets.
Maybe he wouldn’t go at all. In the back of the window was a lynx and on the other side a bobtailed cat, each on its limb of a tree. Suddenly he caught his breath. He’d be late. He went tearing off down the block.
He was breathless and his heart was pounding to beat the cars when he reached the top of the fourth flight of stairs. He studied the groundglass doors on the landing;
THE UNIVERSAL CONTACT COMPANY
F. W. Perkins
Assurance
THE WINDY CITY MAGIC AND NOVELTY COMPANY
Dr. Noble
Hospital and Sickroom Supplies
The last one was a grimy door in the back beside the toilet. The goldleaf had come off the letters, but he was able to spell out from the outlines:
THE GENERAL OUTFITTING AND
MERCHANTIZING CORPORATION
Then he saw a card on the wall beside the door with a hand holding a torch drawn out on it and under it the words “Truthseeker Inc.” He tapped gingerly on the glass. No answer. He tapped again.
“Come in . . . Don’t knock,” called out a deep voice. Fainy found himself stuttering as he opened the door and stepped into a dark, narrow room completely filled up by two huge rolltop desks:
“Please, I called to see Mr. Bingham, sir.”
At the further desk, in front of the single window sat a big man with a big drooping jaw that gave him a little of the expression of a setter dog. His black hair was long and curled a little over each ear, on the back of his head was a broad black felt hat. He leaned back in his chair and looked Fainy up and down.
“How do you do, young man? What kind of books are you inclined to purchase this morning? What can I do for you this morning?” he boomed.
“Are you Mr. Bingham, sir, please?”
“This is Doc Bingham right here before you.”
“Please, sir, I . . . I came about that job.”
Doc Bingham’s expression changed. He twisted his mouth as if he’d just tasted something sour. He spun round in his swivelchair and spat into a brass spittoon in the corner of the room. Then he turned to Fainy again and leveled a fat finger at him, “Young man, how do you spell experience?”
“E . . . x . . . p . . . er . . . er . . . er . . . i . . . a . . . n . . .”
“That’ll do . . . No education . . . I thought as much . . . No culture, none of those finer feelings that distinguish the civilized man from the savage aborigines of the wilds . . . No enthusiasm for truth, for bringing light into dark places . . . Do you realize, young man, that it is not a job I’m offering you, it is a great opportunity . . . a splendid opportunity for service and selfimprovement. I’m offering you an education gratis.”
Fainy shuffled his feet. He had a husk in his throat.
“If it’s in the printin’ line I guess I could do it.”
“Well, young man, during the brief interrogatory through which I’m going to put you, remember that you stand on the threshold of opportunity.”
Doc Bingham ferreted in the pigeonholes of his desk for a long time, found himself a cigar, bit off the end, lit it, and then turned again to Fainy, who was standing first on one foot and then on the other.
“Well, if you’ll tell me your name.”
“Fenian O’Hara McCreary . . .”
“Hum . . . Scotch and Irish . . . that’s pretty good stock . . . that’s the stock I come from.”
“Religion?”
Fainy squirmed. “Pop was a Catholic but . . .” He turned red.
Dr. Bingham laughed, and rubbed his hands.
“Oh, religion, what crimes are committed in thy name. I’m an agnostic myself . . . caring nothing for class or creed when among friends; though sometimes, my boy, you have to bow with the wind . . . No, sir, my God is the truth, that rising ever higher in the hands of honest men will dispel the mists of ignorance and greed, and bring freedom and knowledge to mankind . . . Do you agree with me?”
“I’ve been working for my uncle. He’s a social-democrat.”
“Ah, hotheaded youth . . . Can you drive a horse?”
“Why, yessir, I guess I could.”
“Well, I don’t see why I shouldn’t hire you.”
“The advertisement in the Tribune said fifteen dollars a week.”
Doc Bingham’s voice assumed a particularly velvety tone.
“Why, Fenian my boy, fifteen dollars a week will be the minimum you will make . . . Have you ever heard of the cooperative system? That is how I’m going to hire you . . . As sole owner and representative of the Truthseeker Corporation, I have here a magnificent line of small books and pamphlets covering every phase of human knowledge and endeavor . . . I am embarking immediately on a sales campaign to cover the whole country. You will be one of my distributors. The books sell at from ten to fifty cents. On each tencent book you make a cent, on the fifty-cent book you make five cents . . .”
“And don’t I get anything every week?” stammered Fainy.
“Would you be penny-wise and pound-foolish? Throwing away the most magnificent opportunity of a lifetime for the assurance of a paltry pittance. No, I can see by your flaming eye, by your rebellious name out of old Ireland’s history, that you are a young man of spirit and determination . . . Are we on? Shake hands on it then and by gad, Fenian, you shall never regret it.”
Doc Bingham jumped to his feet and seized Fainy’s hand and shook it.
“Now, Fenian, come with me; we have an important preliminary errand to perform.” Doc Bingham pulled his hat forward on his head and they walked down the stairs to the front door; he was a big man and the fat hung loosely on him as he walked. Anyway, it’s a job, Fainy told himself.
First they went to a tailorshop where a longnosed yellow man whom Doc Bingham addressed as Lee shuffled out to meet them. The tailorshop smelt of steamed cloth and cleansing fluid. Lee talked as if he had no palate to his mouth.
“’M pretty sick man,” he said. “Spen’ mor’n thou’an’ dollarm on doctor, no get well.”
“Well, I’ll stand by you; you know that, Lee.”
“Hure, Mannie, hure, only you owe me too much money.”
Dr. Emmanuel Bingham glanced at Fainy out of the corner of his eye.
“I can assure you that the entire financial situation will be clarified within sixty days . . . But what I want you to do now is to lend me two of your big cartons, those cardboard boxes you send suits home in.” “What you wan’ to do?”
“My young friend and I have a little project.”
“Don’t you do nothin’ crooked with them cartons; my name’s on them.”
 
; Doc Bingham laughed heartily as they walked out the door, carrying under each arm one of the big flat cartons that had Levy and Goldstein, Reliable Tailoring, written on them in florid lettering.
“He’s a great joker, Fenian,” he said. “But let that man’s lamentable condition be a lesson to you . . . The poor unfortunate is suffering from the consequences of a horrible social disease, contracted through some youthful folly.”
They were passing the taxidermist’s store again. There were the wildcats and the golden pheasant and the big sawfish . . . Frequents shallow bays and inlets. Fainy had a temptation to drop the tailor’s cartons and run for it. But anyhow, it was a job.
“Fenian,” said Doc Bingham, confidentially, “do you know the Mohawk House?”
“Yessir, we used to do their printing for them.”
“They don’t know you there, do they?”
“Naw, they wouldn’t know me from Adam . . . I just delivered some writin’ paper there once.”
“That’s superb . . . Now get this right; my room is 303. You wait and come in about five minutes. You’re the boy from the tailor’s, see, getting some suits to be cleaned. Then you come up to my room and get the suits and take ’em round to my office. If anybody asks you where you’re going with ’em, you’re goin’ to Levy and Goldstein, see?”
Fainy drew a deep breath.