Ransom’s eyes light up. Oh, he tries to hide his enthusiasm, but I can tell that he’s happy about the news. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he says, strident in his attempt to be empathetic. “Was that before or after you started working for him?”
“After,” I answer him. “But I’m working for Jack Donnelly, not your brother.”
Shaking his head, Ransom laughs softly to himself. “From what I’ve heard, that arrangement isn’t going to last much longer.”
“So I heard. Jack is retiring. I supposed that leaves me in a bit of a sticky situation, but I’m sure it will work out okay.” Of course, that’s a lie. I don’t know how any of this will work out, but I’m trying to stay positive. I certainly don’t want to leave the wrong impression with Ransom, either. Rebel made it sound as if the two of them were on the outs, but I don’t trust anything that comes out of his mouth anymore. I need to be mindful of what I say to Ransom in case it gets carried back to Rebel.
Ransom nods a few times, seeming to have run out of things to say. I’m relieved because so have I. I don’t want to know anything about his life, and I don’t want to reveal anything else about mine if I can help it.
“Well, I hope it all works out for you,” Ransom says finally. Tapping his finger on my cart, he grins. “You might want to pick up a bottle of the pink stuff on your way out.”
“Yeah, it’s a disaster waiting to happen, isn’t it?” I catch his gaze once more, and for a moment we just stand there staring at one another.
“Maybe I’ll see you around again sometime.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
***
“I can’t believe you actually decided to go through with it! Have you slept with him yet?”
I’m talking to Annie over the phone for the first time since leaving Virginia. I’ve caught her up on all the latest gossip including, but not limited to, the Rebel situation. Normally, I would have kept it close to the vest a little longer in hopes of sorting it out myself, but I don’t really know where to begin. So, I’m looking to her for advice, and maybe a little inspiration, too.
“No, I haven’t. Not that I haven’t had the chance,” I admit, my cheeks flushing when I think back to the conference room table and Rebel’s hard body pressed against mine. I could have had him then and there, but I just couldn’t bring myself to pull the trigger.
“What the heck are you waiting for? You know men’s brains are directly attached to their dick. No offense, Brody!”
That’s another thing. Brody still hasn’t come home. At this point, he’s basically living with Annie and her parents. I can’t believe they’re going for that arrangement, especially since she’s pregnant with another man’s child, but I’m more than happy that it seems to be working out. Annie deserves a little happiness, especially since her ex, Jason, appears to have moved on, and Brody should be with someone who can provide the kind of love and caring he deserves.
It looks as though they’re well on their way to achieving it, and I couldn’t be more thrilled for my friends. I can’t think of two people better suited for each other than those two.
I sigh, considering Annie’s question. What am I waiting for, a written invitation? I don’t think Rebel whipping out his cock and fingering me could get any clearer. “I don’t know, Annie,” I say, feeling as tired as I sound. “I guess I just don’t want to get hurt anymore, and I know if I follow through with it, I’ll just be opening myself up for more of it.”
“You don’t know that for sure,” she insists. “I know you’ll probably hate me for saying this, but I think there’s a real possibility that you love this man, and I think that’s the real reason you’re holding back. If you give your body to him, then you’ll definitely be making yourself vulnerable, but that might not be a bad thing. It might actually be worth the risk.”
“How can you be so sure?” It certainly sounds like a bad thing, but I can’t deny that her words speak to a part of me that wants to hear exactly that. It wants to take the risk.
“I can’t be sure, but I know that nothing risked is nothing gained.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” I don’t think she’s right at all, but am I going to tell her that? No. “But what if I sleep with him and he uses it against me? What if the whole plan, which isn’t even a real plan in the first place, falls apart? I won’t have won a damn thing.”
“Well, at least then you’ll know for sure that it’s over. You can walk away knowing you at least tried to fight back. But for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re going to lose. Once you open yourself up to it and you put everything into motion, it will all start falling into place. That redheaded whore will have to watch him lapping at your feet, and if you’re lucky, he’ll be so wrapped up in you that, if you decided to walk away, you’ll tear his blackened heart out of his chest.”
“You’re demented. Do you know that? Do your parents know how sick you are?” I laugh.
“They know what kind of person they raised,” she sniffs indignantly. “So, are you going to rip that bastard’s heart out or what?”
“I don’t know,” I sigh. “It seems so...cruel.”
“And what he did to you isn’t cruel? Must I mention Exhibit A? Or B? Or C, D, E, and F?”
She’s referring to the photos I described in detail to her while visiting her, and no, I don’t need a visual reminder. I have permanent memories stored in my head so that every time I close my eyes at night all I can see is the two of them so happy and naked and rubbing on each other. I can pretty much put the pieces together from there.
“Admittedly, he’s teetering on the edge of no return here, but I think you’ll regret it if you don’t give it one last college try. No matter what you decide to do, though, it doesn’t change the fact that that man needs to be put in his place,” Annie says forcefully. “He needs to know that it’s not okay to toy with people’s hearts and lives. I hate that woman as much as you do on principal alone, but he’s doing the same thing to her, you know. He’s a serial heartbreaker.”
I agree with her to a point. Rebel needs to be stopped. He can’t expect to go around leaving a trail of tears in his wake his whole life. But I don’t think that Florence is an innocent bystander in all of this. I think she is well aware of what Rebel is up to. She has to know that he and I have been together. She just watched us walk out of the company building together. She tagged along on a couple’s lap dance, for crying out loud. I’ll never forget the look of betrayal she wore that night when he coldly dismissed her in favor of having me grind my naked body all over him until he came in his pants.
Oh, no. Certainly, she wouldn’t have any reason to grind an axe. I’m mentally rolling my eyes now just thinking about it.
“And what about his brother, the professor? ”
“Ransom? What about him?” I frown as I pick at the chipped pink nail polish on my toenails. I hate chipped polish. It drives me crazy, and I always end up picking at it until I find time to sit down and repaint them.
“You said that you ran into him at the grocery store. What did he say? Does he still seem interested?”
I think about it, remembering the way he looked at me. The way he spoke to me. Just standing with him in that aisle made me feel a little giddy, like I did when I first saw him in that classroom, but this time the feeling was diluted, and I’ve reached the conclusion that I’ll always want Rebel more.
“Sure, he was interested. But he knows there’s nothing between us anymore. I’m not into dating people’s relatives.”
“Maybe you aren’t, but they don’t have to know that,” Annie says. I can hear the suggestive smile in her voice, the one that tells me that she’s up to no good. That she’s developing some master plan that I probably won’t like but will most likely go along with. Because I’m the kind of person who succumbs to peer pressure, obviously.
“I’m not following.”
“I think you could play this brother thing to your advantage,” Annie explains. “Think about it. Rebe
l and Ransom both want you. But only one can have you? I call bullshit. You’re a free woman. You can do whatever the hell you want and they don’t have shit to say about it. So why not have both of them? Play the sexy vixen to Rebel and seduce Ransom on the side. Then, when the timing is right, show Rebel that he isn’t the only one who can rip someone apart.”
“But then I’d be hurting Ransom,” I reason, surprising myself. “I’m not trying to hurt one person just to get back at another. Besides, they already have enough problems to deal with between them without me adding to it. No, I think it would be best if I kept this simple.”
“Fine, then fuck Rebel and get it over with. For heaven’s sake, one of us needs to get laid!”
I begin laughing. Annie is normally the straitlaced one. I’ve never known her to be so loose-tongued. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones. “Take advantage of all that man meat you have there with you,” I tell her. “I’m sure he’d be down for a little freak action if you asked.”
“Oh screw you, lady!” Annie’s laughing along with me now. My heart warms. I can’t even express how good it feels to have my friend back and be able to do this again. It’s just like old times, only with a few hundred miles between us. “How about this. We’ll make a deal. If you get down and dirty with your guy, then I’ll...”
She mumbles some words that sound like I’ll give it a shot with Brody, but I can’t be sure. “Come again? I didn’t catch that.”
“Well, I’m not repeating it. You’ll just have to use your imagination to fill in the blanks.”
“Ha! Who’s the tease now?”
“Always you, babe. All right. I hate to cut this short, but I’ve gotta pee and the bathroom just freed up.”
“Go, go,” I chuckle.
“You’ll call me if you run into any snags?”
“You know I will.”
“Okay,” she says slowly as if she’s doubting my words. “I guess I’m letting you go then.”
“Okay, hun. Talk to you later.”
After I hang up with Annie, I’m left sitting in my room thinking about our conversation. I don’t feel like anything has been decided or resolved. If anything, I feel more confused than ever. But I know that I can’t continue sitting here idle. I have to make a decision one way or another how I’m going to handle this situation. I’m just afraid it isn’t going to work out as I planned.
Eight
Rebel is MIA again. I don’t know where he is, and I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve been looking for him around every corner all morning. It’s becoming a sickness, and I need to stop this before I do any more damage to my sanity.
Shaking my head, I split ways with Darren and head back to my office. Once again, we spent our lunch hour together—this time we had fried chicken and okra at a little restaurant a little over a half mile away. It was a heavier lunch than I’m used to or usually prefer, but it was more than worth it. I’ll probably be stuffed to the gills the rest of the day.
I nod a greeting to each of my coworkers as I pass their tables. Slumping down in my chair, I kick my shoes off onto the floor and turn on the computer. After I finished pulling together the dairy ad, I got right to work on a new project. The website I’ve been designing all week is slowly beginning to come together. It’s for a small, family-owned pizza restaurant. They wanted something unique that would stand out against the competition. I created all the artwork in the header and background, starting with a few of the basics: a couple of pizzas, some fresh vegetables—whole and chopped, and a stone hearth in the background. To finish it off, Dominic’s Classic Italiano written in large, bold letters graces the header in a blending of green, red, and white. There’s still a lot of detail work that needs to go into it, but it’s coming together, and I’m more than happy with the results. I just hope they are, too.
There’s nothing more nerve-racking than trying to pull ideas from a rough outline provided only by someone’s personal vision. There’s no way to extract the ideas from their head though I wish there were. It would make the process so much easier.
So, it all comes down to whether or not my interpretation of what they want is correct or not. It could very well turn out that they hate it, and I’d have to scrap the whole thing and start over. What a way for my first in-depth job to turn out, eh?
I have to get out of my head. My hands have adopted a fine tremor, and I realize that I’m beginning to doubt my abilities. I may not feel like I know what I’m doing, but I do. It’s easy to forget that this is what I went to school for. It’s easy to doubt myself when I don’t have someone hanging over my shoulder to guide me every step of the way. It’s easy to let the negative thoughts take over, but I’m not a quitter.
I charge through the rest of the afternoon, focused entirely on my work and nothing else. That’s probably why I don’t realize that someone has been standing in the doorway watching me for the last several minutes.
Sudden awareness strikes me, and I feel his presence like a physical touch. A touch I would know anywhere because I have practice seeking it out amidst the darkness.
Rebel stands leaning against the open door frame with his hands plunged deep in his pants pockets and a dark, sinful look in his eyes.
My heart leaps in my chest, racing full throttle when I see him there. “How long have you been standing there?” I ask, playing off the shock.
“Long enough to see that you’re dedicated to the job.” Pulling his hands from his pockets, Rebel unfastens the button on his jacket as he moves toward me. “I always wondered what it would be like to see you in a business setting.”
God, why does he have to look so good? My gaze slowly slides down his tall frame, beginning with his broad shoulders, down to his strong chest, narrow waist, and finally, those long legs. Leaning back in my chair, as much to appear relaxed as to place distance between us, I stare up at him. He looms over me, his presence so overpowering that it seems to suck all the oxygen from the room.
“Really. What was it like?” I ask, hoping my smile is somewhere north of seductive and doesn’t reflect any of the nerves that are currently running riot inside me.
“It was...different,” he muses. Dragging a finger over the mess of papers on my table, he continues saying, “Of course, I pictured you wearing a lot less clothing and your mouth around my cock.”
I lift both brows. “Well, you certainly don’t censor yourself, do you?”
His eyes meet mine and the sly smirk that creeps across his face enthralls me. “Why should I? You always liked it when I spoke my mind. In fact,” he says, making his way around the table. Taking hold of both arms on my chair, he turns me to face him and crouches down. His midnight eyes are arresting, and I feel the air get stuck in my throat as I meet his intense gaze. “You used to like a lot of things about me.”
“I hardly knew you then.” I’m not so sure I do now.
“That’s true, but one thing you did know about me was that I’d never hurt you.”
So that’s what this is about. I should have known he’d still be hung up on it. As much as I’d like to, I know I won’t be able to dodge his questions this time. That doesn’t mean I won’t try. “Did I?”
Wrapping his strong fingers around my thighs, he parts them wide. Taking advantage of the wheels on the chair, he pulls me and it closer, insinuating himself between my legs and bringing us so close that I no longer see anything else in the room except him.
“Oh, you did,” he purrs. “A part of you still does. Otherwise, you wouldn’t still be sitting here. You wouldn’t have let me get inside your panties the other day, and you most definitely wouldn’t have let me fuck you.”
My brows pull down when he says this. “I never let you fuck me.”
His gaze falls to my lips and my heart jackhammers in response. “No, but you will.”
“You’re so confident,” I accuse, pushing my feet into the floor and forcing the chair back a foot. Rebel just pulls me back in, adjusting himself so that his arms rest on either si
de of my thighs, gripping the chair frame so it can’t go anywhere again.
“I have to be,” he drawls, “for all the chasing you’ve got me doing.”
“I’m not forcing you to chase me, Rebel. In fact, I recall telling you to walk the other way the next time you saw me.”
“That’s what you said, and then the next day you climbed in the backseat of my car with me.”
“Before running away,” I add.
He tips his head once in acknowledgement. “So you see how a man could get confused.”
I guess he has a point. I’ve been sending him mixed messages. How can I expect him to leave me alone when I turn around and mindlessly follow him wherever he says to go? How can I expect to keep my distance when I allow him to be so close like he is right now?
“Maybe you should make things easier on both of us and just walk away.”
Rebel’s face is an unreadable mask. I don’t know how he does it, but he somehow manages to close off any and all indicators of what might be going on in his head. There are no tells to reference, just blank slate.
“I tried that once,” he says, his voice distant as though he’s remembering something in the past. “It didn’t work out that well.”
“Let me guess,” I say sarcastically. “I just have this pull over you.”
“In a sense,” he agrees. “I just know that I don’t like how it feels when you’re not around. I like having you by my side. That’s why I was happy to hear that you’d accepted Jack’s job offer. Now I can see you every day, whenever I want.”
Releasing the chair, Rebel’s hands smooth over the curves of my thighs and up to my hips. Tugging, he pulls me to the edge of the seat. The position puts my core flush with his chest. He looks up at me, his face and that mouth so close I can already taste him on my tongue, and my pussy throbs for attention.
I haven’t had sex in a while, and certainly not by the standards that Rebel has set. The need for him is quickly becoming a physical ache, one that demands attention. Now. I know I need to hold out longer, maybe forever, but I keep hearing Annie’s voice in my head telling me to just do it. Go for it, release us both. If I give myself permission to have sex with Rebel then, in a way, I’ll be giving her permission to move forward with Brody.