I have a raging migraine. It feels as though someone is pounding away at my skull with a jackhammer. Definitely unpleasant.
The second hour passes slowly, but that’s to be expected. When the clock strikes five, I’m not surprised to see Joe and Sophia bolt upright and race out the door. I begin placing my binder and book back into my backpack when I feel his eyes on me again.
“Can I help you with something?” I nearly snap.
He blinks a few times surprised by my tone. “Why are you here?”
I shrug him off as I begin walking. So, let me get this straight, he ignores my existence most times, but when he needs something it’s okay to be seen talking to me? He’s some piece of work.
I don’t even realize he is in tow with me until I am halfway to my locker. I look over at him, and he is still staring at me as if he is awaiting an answer.
“You were too scared to rat her out, weren’t you?” he asks quietly.
Yes…but I don’t want you to know that. I shake my head. “I was to blame for some of it. I egged her on.”
He stifles a laugh, and I instantly stop walking. “What’s so funny?”
“The fact that you actually think I could believe that.”
I feel like he has just sucker punched me. The dick actually thinks he knows anything about me. I’m starting to wonder why it even matters to him in the first place. My cheeks begin to burn, and I quicken my pace.
Unfortunately, I seem to have forgot the fact that we have lockers right across the hall from one another. I quickly open mine, and begin shoveling books in. I just want to go home.
Suddenly a dizzy spell washes over me, and I find myself blinking rapidly in an attempt to clear my vision. I can feel the world around me going black, and I am having trouble breathing.
Not here. Not in front of him.
I’m terrified. It never gets easier. I can feel myself falling, losing my balance, and right before my vision goes, I swear I see Topher’s face looking down at me. His lips are moving like he is saying something, but I can’t comprehend any of it. Then the blackness swallows me whole.
Chapter Eleven
Topher
We’re just standing and talking, when I notice all the color drain from her face.
“Ciera?” I ask, waving my hand in front of her face. “Are you okay?”
It’s happening slowly, but I am watching her body going limp right before my eyes. My heart begins to race, as I throw my arms out just in time to catch her, and lay her gently on the ground.
“Ciera?” I call out her name once more, but her eyes are closed, and she is unconscious. “Help!” I yell out, hoping that a teacher may still be around at this late hour.
I snatch my phone out of my pocket, hurriedly dialing 911. I look back at her face, and her eyes are still rolled to the back of her head. I gently sweep her hair out of her face. I don’t know the first thing to do in a situation like this…I’m panicking.
I don’t know if I should move her or if I should keep her put until the paramedics arrive. If she simply fainted or if it’s worse. As I’m attempting to direct the paramedics to the school, she begins convulsing in my arms. Her whole body is jerking and contorting in uncomfortable ways. She is having a seizure. The fear in my voice is apparent, because the 911 operator remains calm and instructs me to turn her over to her side once I notice white foam spilling out of her mouth. I do as I am told to prevent choking.
After the longest two minutes of my life, she finally stops jerking about, and her body goes limp again. I can see her eyes fluttering, and I think she is coming to. The operator says they will be here any minute.
“Ciera?” I ask, hoping that he is finally coherent.
Her eyes flutter open, and she stares weakly back at me. “What happened?” Her words are barely recognizable as she tries to sit up, but I keep her down with my hand on her shoulder.
“They said you shouldn’t move until they get here.”
Even with my instruction, she pushes herself up from the ground, into a seated position. She is sweating, and looks like she just had a hard work out. The paramedics arrive moments later. I stick around while they check her vitals, and make sure she is alright. They load her onto a stretcher, but she is not having any of it.
“I’m fine, really. Can’t I just go home?” she begs, but her words are slurred and I barely make them out.
They continue strapping her in, although it is apparent it’s the last thing she wants.
“We really recommend that you let us take you back to the hospital so we can get a better look at you.”
She continues to fight against the restraints. “You don’t understand. I can’t afford any of this.”
Sympathy passes across the eyes of the EMT’s, but they still urge her to let them take her in.
Ciera begins to cry softly, halting everyone in their place. “Please…” she says softly. “I just want to go home and rest.”
In the end, Ciera gets her way, and the paramedics leave without transporting her back to the hospital like they recommended. It’s nearly six thirty by the time they pack up, and Ciera and I are left alone in the empty halls of our school.
“You didn’t have to wait…” she says softly, as we walk slowly out the front door.
“I was here when it happened. I couldn’t just leave.”
She shifts her blue eyes to mine, and then back out to the sky. The sun is setting on the horizon, and there are beautiful oranges and yellow colors in the clouds.
“Well, thank you.” She begins to walk toward the parking lot, away from me.
“Where are you going?” I question, following behind her.
“I am going home...what else would I be doing?”
“Get in my car,” I order, grabbing her by the arm.
Surprised by my forwardness, she pulls back aggressively. “I’m fine, Topher.”
“You just had a seizure. I’m sure it took a lot out of you. The last thing you need is a five mile trek home, when I am offering you a ride.” I reach out once again, latching onto her arm, and pulling her behind me.
“Let me go!” She wrestles to break free of my hold.
“Why are you being so stubborn?” I stop walking abruptly, and address her face to face. We are so close, our noses almost touch.
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough community service for one day?” she asks, her eyes glaring back at me.
“Excuse me?”
She shakes me off, but instead of trying to fight me anymore, she walks straight to the passenger side of my car. It is conveniently the only one left in the entire parking lot.
I open the doors and climb in beside her. We drive in silence for the first ten minutes until I feel the need to say something. “Has that ever happened to you before?”
She looks over at me quickly, and then back out the windshield, shaking her head. “A few times.”
“What is it like?” I ask, unable to help myself.
I glance over at her, and notice a small tear escape out the side of her eye, trailing down her face.
“It is really scary. I lose my hearing and my vision, and things stop making sense, and then eventually everything goes black.”
“I think you should have let them take you to the hospital to check you out…” I tread lightly.
She shakes her head dismissively. “I don’t have insurance. They are already going to try to bill me for the ambulance, which I know won’t be cheap. But my family can’t handle that kind of burden right now.”
I start to feel instantly guilty. Maybe that is why she dresses the way she does. Maybe her family isn’t as fortunate as mine is. “You know, they normally have payment plans they can set you up on.”
She nods, staring out the side window. “I’ll be fine.”
Silence fills the car the rest of the way to her house, and when I pull up, I kill the engine quickly, hopping out and racing around to her side.
“What are you doing?” she asks, when I
open up the door and stick my hand out.
“I’m helping you get up the stairs.” She looks up at me in disbelief.
“I’m really fine.”
“And I’m the Easter Bunny,” I reply, nudging her with my arm so she will grab it. Eventually she does, and I lead her up the stairs. She is unsteady on her feet, and although she fought it, I can tell she is grateful for the help. Her whole body seems weak, and she is breathing heavily.
I knock on the door, and a woman who appears to be her early forties answers. “Ciera?” Her eyes dart between me and the girl in my arms. “What is going on?”
“She had a seizure,” I answer. The woman’s eyes grow wide with concern. “I gave her a ride home.”
She opens the door wider, and instantly puts her arm around Ciera’s waist, pulling her inside. I hear children yapping loudly inside, and then they come running to tackle Ciera once she is a few steps inside.
“Careful!” The woman warns them. “Ciera is sick. She needs to lie down.” She helps maneuver Ciera further into the tiny apartment as I wait silently at the front door. Eventually she returns, her brown hair frizzy and bags under her eyes. She looks beyond exhausted. “Thank you.” There is something else behind her eyes, an underlying sadness. I see it in her facial expressions, I see it in the way she carries herself.
I wonder how many times this has happened, and how stressful it was for me just this one time. Poor lady. It can’t be easy.
I nod slightly. “No problem. I hope she’s okay.”
The woman glances back toward the direction she led Ciera in, and then back to me. “I have it from here.”
I nod again, and then turn around, taking the steps two at a time back to my car. My night was so much more eventful than I could have ever guessed.
I genuinely do hope Ciera is okay, which is a foreign feeling to me. I’ve never cared enough to know who she is or worry about her…but because I was there when it all happened, I want to know that she will be okay. That she will recover from this.
I can feel a change coming. I feel anxious and terrified all at the same time. The only thing I can really hope is that I’m recognizable at the end of it all.
* * *
Ever since her seizure, Ciera has been on my mind. I feel on edge and anxious wondering how she is doing, how she is feeling.
I arrive at school early the next morning in hopes that I will be able to see her before anyone else arrives. To make sure she is okay. When I reach my locker, I’m surprised she is nowhere in sight. I wait for nearly twenty minutes, before there is only a couple of minutes to make it to class. I didn’t want to miss her, so I didn’t move an inch. Even when Joe and Sophia showed up, my feet stayed planted firmly.
I didn’t even bother acknowledging their existence. Joe’s glare went straight through me. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of stooping down to his level.
Ciera doesn’t show. I end up having to abandon my post and attend the first class of my day. Her normal desk remains empty the entire period, and before I know it, the bell has rung to signal the end of class. I continue through the rest of my day, but still no sign of her. By lunchtime it’s apparent she isn’t coming in. I guess I can’t blame her. Maybe she just needed a day to rest?
The anxious feeling in my chest only seems to intensify as she is yet again absent the next day as well.
During English, I can’t help but stare directly at the empty chair where Ciera should be. I notice Mack eyeing it as well, with a sullen look on his face. I wonder if he knows what happened the other night. After the bell rings to announce the end of class, I rush to the front of the classroom to catch him.
“Hey,” I say softly, hoping I don’t attract any unnecessary attention our way.
His eyes grow wide with surprise. “Hi?” he says, more of a question. He pushes his glasses further up his face, adjusting his backpack.
“Have you heard from Ciera?” I ask. He’s the only person I’ve ever noticed interact with her, he has to know something.
Again he doesn’t bother hiding the shock spreading across his face. “Ciera?”
I nod. “Yeah, Ciera Nelson…the girl you sit right next to?”
He seems hesitant to say anything. He probably doesn’t trust me and honestly, I don’t blame him.
“Look,” I say, attempting to relieve some of the tension in the air. “We had detention together Monday after school, and she had a seizure. I just want to make sure she is okay.”
His eyes grow wider than before. This is news to him. “She what?”
“She had a seizure. Have you not spoken with her?”
He shakes his head. “Ciera isn’t exactly easy to get ahold of.”
Peers from the class after us are beginning to pile into the classroom, so we slowly make our way out into the hall.
“What do you mean by that?” I press.
“She doesn’t have a cell phone.”
I snort unintentionally. “Who doesn’t have a cell phone these days? I see toddlers every day with iPad’s.”
He looks at me with an expression that is difficult for me to read. “I know who you are, and I know what you’ve done to Ciera. Even if she did have a cell phone, do you really think I’d ever give up her number?”
I feel like he’s just punched me in the gut. I know Ciera and I don’t run within the same circles, but I never feel like I go out of my way to be an asshole to her…or do I?
“Look man, I’m just wanting to make sure she is okay. If you know how to get ahold of her, maybe you can find out for me.”
He nods slightly. “I’ll see what I can do.” He begins to walk away, but stops and turns back to me. “Can I just ask you something?”
I nod, not bothering to respond verbally.
“Ciera has never been on your radar before. What changed?”
I’m not even sure I have an answer for him. He’s completely right. I shrug. “I guess we’ve just been in the same places at the same times recently.”
He takes a hesitant step toward me. “I know your type. You get off from hurting someone like her. You feed off her misery. I’ll look into this for you, but after I do, I want you to stay the hell away from Ciera, do you hear me?”
I’m surprised that he even has the balls to talk to me like he does. And normally, I wouldn’t accept it. I’d have him laid out in a heartbeat. But I can tell in his eyes how much he cares about her. He’s in love with her. I wonder if she even knows. I put my arms up in surrender. “Just find out if she’s okay, and you have my word, I’ll keep my distance.”