I raise my hand.
Ms. Toole doesn’t even bother looking up from her book. “What is it Mr. Carlson?”
“May I go to the restroom?”
“Go ahead,” she replies, still sucked into her world of literature.
I slip out of my desk, and make my way out into the hall. I do have to pee, but I am more curious about where Ciera disappeared to. As I near the bathrooms, I see her sitting on the ground in front of a row of lockers, her knees pulled up to her chest and her head buried in her arms. She looks like she could be sleeping or crying. I’m not sure what to make of it.
I nudge her with my foot. “Hey.”
She stirs with a jolt. Her blue eyes dart up to meet mine, and then they narrow.
Okay. What’s that about?
“What are you doing out here?” I ask, coming to stand right in front of her.
She looks up at me through tired eyes, and then runs her hand over her face.
I take a seat next to her, backing myself up against the lockers, our shoulders almost touching.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
“Sitting, what does it look like?” I answer sarcastically.
Her expression turns serious. “You’re playing with social suicide…you sure you want to do that?”
I chuckle lightly. “What does that mean?”
“It means if anyone sees you with me, your popularity is going to take a hit. Are you sure you can handle that?”
I couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks anymore. There’s no one left at this school I even like hanging out with. Plus, I do what I want. “You really think I care about all of that?”
She looks surprised. “You used to.”
“How would you know? You don’t know anything about me.” I don’t mean it to come off rudely, but it does and before I can take it back, her facial expression reads hurt.
She goes to stand up when I stop her.
“I’m sorry. I’m not good at making new friends.”
She stops, staring me down with her sapphire eyes. “That’s obvious. But who said anything about being friends?”
I know Mack told me to stay far away from her, but I can’t. She’s been on my mind for one reason or another for a while now. I’m starting to regret the hell I know my friends and I put her through.
“Look,” I say softly. “I know we haven’t really hung out before and I know that we run with completely different crowds, but that doesn’t mean we can’t call a truce.”
She stares back at me. “Good luck with that. Just because you and I call a truce doesn’t mean all your old minions do too. It seems as though they aren’t taking orders from you these days.”
She’s right. I used to be able to control my friends with very little effort. But since Joe and Sophia took their relationship public, they’ve been defiant on all fronts. They do what they want, when they want. And for some reason, they both have a sick fascination with Ciera. “What happened between you and Sophia?”
Her mouth drops open, and then she quickly shuts it. She turns her face away from mine, and stares off down the hall. “We used to be best friends back in elementary school, until Alyssa swooped in and convinced her I was nothing; a nobody. That I was gross, and that having no money meant you were disgusting and unworthy.”
I can’t help but feel for what Ciera has gone through.
“They’ve made my life a living hell ever since. You and Joe joined in somewhere around middle school and the rest is history. I’ve never gone this long without being shoved into a locker or getting my head dumped into a toilet bowl. When I do, it’s normally because there is something in the works much more sinister than all of that. I know you want to call a truce, but you can’t really blame me for not trusting you….can you?”
I never realized I had such an impact on this one person’s life. I wonder how many other people feel the same way, but never feel comfortable enough to verbalize it to me.
“You want a ride after school?” I offer. It’s not much…but it’s a starting point.
She stares back at me like I have two heads.
“I’m trying to start somewhere. I know I won’t be able to make up for everything within the short amount of time we’ve spent together, but I’d like to begin trying.”
Ciera tucks some of her blond hair behind her ear. “Why does it even matter? We’re not friends…remember?”
I sigh. “But I’d like to be.” It’s strange to say it out loud…but it is true. There is something about her that I can’t get my finger on. Ciera has gotten under my skin and as strange as it may seem, I’m okay with that.
Ciera stands quickly. “I should get back, Ms. Toole is probably wondering where I ran off to.”
I nod, standing as well. I’m going to hit up the bathroom before I head back. “You want a ride home today?”
She shakes her head, smiling slightly. “You’re not going to give up, are you?”
I crack a smile. “I just want to be friends, Ciera. I promise I have no ulterior motive.”
“You know, if we are actually going to pursue a friendship…I’m going to need something from you,” she says.
“Anything.”
“I’m going to need you to stop pretending like I don’t exist and then acknowledging me when it’s convenient for you. If we are friends, we are friends all the time…not just some of the time.”
I nod. “I can do that.”
I’m not sure why it matters to me so much, but when she walks away, I feel excitement wash over me.
Finally a change from the mundane. Something to shake up the ordinary. Bring it on, universe.
Chapter Fourteen
Ciera
I have no idea what has gotten into Topher, much less me. I have no idea why I agree to allow him to drive me home. The only thing I can assume is that he feels protective over me after the other day…but again, it’s confusing why suddenly he wants to treat me with respect. In the back of my mind the possibility that this is all just a cruel joke lingers. I wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe a set up for a bigger dis…who knows.
But I’m working on embracing change. I only have so much time left and I want to be able to experience as much as possible between now and spring.
I spot Mack on my way out of the school, and we end up walking together out the doors. I don’t know why he is at the school so late, but I’m sure it has something to do with the school newspaper which he is editor on.
“How are you feeling?” he asks, eyeing me up and down.
I shield my face from the sun, and then look back at him. “I’m okay. I have this lingering headache I can’t seem to get rid of for the life of me…but other than that, I’m doing fine.”
“Do you want a ride home?” he asks.
Although we’ve been friends for quite some time, he’s never offered before. I wonder if he too is feeling overly protective.
I can see Topher’s brown hair making its way toward us, and notice Mack’s expression turn into a scowl.
“What are you doing with him?” he asks aggressively before Topher is within ear shot.
I shrug. “I don’t know. But he was there the other day, and he’s been looking out for me ever since. He is giving me a ride home.”
Mack turns his glare on Topher. “Since when has the A-Team ever had your best interests at heart? Answer me that.”
I sigh loudly. Unfortunately, he’s right.
“Remember that time in freshman year when Topher and his buddies targeted you in Dodgeball and knocked you out? Or what about the time when they tricked you into thinking Dylan was going to ask you to Homecoming? Or even last year, when they spread that vicious Facebook rumor about you having HIV…you’re really going to trust someone like him?”
Topher is now within earshot, and although he hasn’t heard our entire conversation, I can’t ignore what Mack has pointed out. “You’re right,” I reply. “I have no reason to trust him or the rest of the A-Team for that matter…
but if I’m going to be played…at least it’s on my own terms.”
Mack rolls his eyes and then huffs.
“Hey,” Topher says softly. “You ready to go?”
Mack turns his attention directly to Topher. “I thought we had an understanding.”
Topher steals a quick glance at me, and then back to Mack. “We do…but things have changed.”
“Oh really,” Mack’s voice drips with sarcasm. “How so?”
I don’t really know what they are referring to, but I am proud of Mack. This is the first time I have ever seen him stand up to an A-Team member.
“What are you guys talking about?” I ask, and both guys turn their eyes on me.
“Nothing,” they both say in unison.
“Okay…” I let out an exaggerated sigh.
“Wait, shouldn’t you guys be in detention?” Mack addresses the question to me.
Yes, technically we should. I nod. “Yeah, but it was shortened due to good behavior.” In all honesty, I think Ms. Toole was just sick of having to stay the extra couple of hours every day, so she let us all off the hook. We are lucky enough to get out an hour early tonight.
“You ready to go?” Topher asks me.
I nod, hoisting my backpack higher up. “See you tomorrow.”
Mack continues to stare back at me with a look of concern. “Think about what I said. You know I’m right.”
I nod again, remaining silent as I follow Topher out to a car I don’t recognize. “Where’s your Porsche?” I ask as he unlocks the doors to a sleek-looking silver BMW.
“It wasn’t mine,” he answers as we climb in.
The new car has all black interior and screams money. “Who’s was it?”
“A loaner. My dad owns a couple of car lots, and I get my pick of the litter anytime new arrivals come in.”
“Must be a hard life…” I joke, maneuvering my backpack at my feet.
Topher reaches past me, and as he does, his hand brushes up against my knee, sending shivers down my spine. He grabs the strap of my backpack, and tosses it into the backseat. “There, that should give you more room.”
“Thanks,” I say quietly. I’ve never felt anything like the feeling coursing through me. It’s foreign, exciting, and oh so wrong. I wonder if he felt it too, or if I am completely alone.
I sneak a peek at his face, and it looks handsome as always. Topher has always been one of the most elite members of the A-Team. He oozes money and sex. He always has. In a way, I understand why Mack is so protective. A few months ago, Topher wouldn’t be caught dead being seen with me. Now he is offering me rides home. Funny how much has changed.
I look out his window at our peers standing outside the school. All eyes are on us as we exit the school grounds. I can only imagine the rumors that will be swirling around next week.
“What are you thinking about?” Topher asks as we pull out onto the main road.
“What were you and Mack talking about back there?”
He stares out the windshield, his lips in a tight line. “He doesn’t want me hanging around you.”
I giggle. “I don’t blame him. He’s been there through everything. He’s been witness to it and been a victim of all stunts the A-Team has pulled.”
“The A-Team?” Topher asks curiously.
Oh, right. He doesn’t know that’s our secret name for the popular jocks in our school.
“Yeah.” I shrug. “You, Sophia, Joe, Alyssa, Madalynne, Parker…”
“You call us the A-Team? How come I have never heard this before?”
I stare out the side window. “It’s a nickname Mack and I made up a couple of years ago.”
Topher nods. “I’m guessing it’s not a term of endearment?”
I shake my head. “Nope.”
He coughs. “Great.”
“Can you blame me?” I ask. “We don’t really run in the same circles.”
“I know that.”
“So then why are you so adamant to play nice now? After all these years?” I guess now is as good of time as any to get the answers I’ve been pondering.
He sighs. “I thought we already established my reasoning?”
“You said you want to be friends…but that doesn’t explain why the change of heart. Why it matters to you.”
As he pulls onto the freeway, I begin to realize that he is not headed toward my apartment. “Where are you taking me?”
He steals a quick glance at me, and then back to the road in front of him. “Well, I figured we have a couple of hours to kill. You don’t mind do you?”
Yes. I do. Luckily, I haven’t been able to tell my work yet, so my shifts are still covered. But, I can’t hide the fact that I am intrigued by his actions.
“Look, I’ve been an asshole. I’m aware of that. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. But, I want to be able to look back on my life, and be proud of the choices I made, not ashamed. And I know one lousy ride home won’t do that…but it’s a starting point.”
I look over at him and can’t help but smile.
“I’m just one person. Don’t you think you have a lot more people to apologize to?”
He nods. “I have a laundry list. But you were the most accessible, so I’m moving on it.”
I settle back into my seat, satisfied with his answer. Ten minutes later, we pull into a driveway in front of the biggest house I have ever seen in my life. I scoot forward in my chair to get a better look.
The house looks like a mini-version of the white house. It is white with multiple pillars and windows. The grass is green and immaculate, and I can only imagine the interior of the house. “What are we doing here?” I ask.
He parks the car, unbuckling. “It’s my house, I figured we could hang out here for a bit.”
I’m surprised he trusts me enough to show me where he lives, much less let me inside. I climb out of the BMW, leaving my backpack behind, and follow him through the front door. The first thing I notice are the sleek marble floors and a huge expensive looking chandelier dangling in the entry way. There is a spiral staircase that reminds me of the one from Titanic and it’s obvious money was no object when it came to their home.
I let out a surprise gasp as he closes the door behind us. “It’s really not that impressive.”
I roll my eyes at him. “You have to say that…you’ve lived like this your entire life. My apartment could fit in your bathroom, I’m sure.”
He chuckles. “Fair enough.” He motions with his head through the entryway. “Come on.”
I follow him through an assortment of hallways and expensive looking rooms, and then down a staircase. It leads to a pair of white sliding doors. He tosses them open, and then flicks on a light switch.
The room contains a foosball table, an air hockey table, the biggest flat screen TV I’ve ever seen in my life, a pool table, and a few arcade games in the corner. Of course he has his own game room.