“Of course I can.”
“Sam, are you strong enough?”
“I’ll manage. My son will be married under a chuppah.”
The rabbi took a bottle of wine down from one of the bookshelves in his study. “I keep this for very special occasions,” he said and smiled. “For the Kiddush.”
“The blessing over the wine.” William smiled.
“Yes that’s right,” said the rabbi. “But first let’s fill out the ketubah, the wedding contract. Will your parents be coming, Gilde? I’d like your father to sign the ketubah.”
“No. I wish they were,” Gilde said. “My father is stuck in Germany. My mother too. I came here to Britain with the Kindertransport.”
“You’re Jewish I assume?”
“Yes, I am.”
“It’s funny but you sound British, you have no German accent.”
“Sharon and I have been working on it for a long time and I’ve gotten rid of it.”
“From what I am hearing it’s not good for our people in Germany,” Rabbi Silverman said.
“No, it was bad when I left.”
“Yes, I know, and we will say a prayer for our Jewish brothers and sisters in Germany. So, if your father’s not here you’ll have to sign the ketubah, the marriage contract, for yourself, Gilde.”
“I’ll sign.” She smiled.
The rabbi wrote up the ketubah and both William and Gilde signed the paper.
Before the wedding service began, the rabbi said a few words asking God to watch over the Jews all over the world.
Then the four people chosen to hold the posts held them up and created a chuppah or canopy. The couple got beneath the canopy. Then the rabbi took a wine glass from the drawer of his desk and filled it halfway with wine. Next he took his handkerchief out of his breast pocket.
And … the ceremony began.
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu…
When the rabbi finished the prayers, Gilde said her vows then William pledged his. They each placed simple gold bands that Sam had given them on each other’s hands. Once the rings were in place the rabbi handed the wine glass to Gilde. She took a sip and handed it back to the rabbi, who then handed it to William who emptied the glass.
Now, Rabbi Silverman wrapped the goblet in the handkerchief that he’d taken from his pocket and placed it on the floor at William’s feet. William stomped on the handkerchief-wrapped package. The sound of the chalice bursting into a million tiny shards brought a chorus of “mazel tov” from everyone in the room.
“May you have as many healthy and happy years together as there are tiny bits of glass in that kerchief,” Sam said.
William kissed Gilde, and even though the world was in flames with war, Gilde was so happy she felt like she could fly.
CHAPTER 39
The rabbi said mazel tov and shook William’s hand. He said a special blessing for William because he was leaving to fight and wished him a safe return.
Then each member of the family embraced Gilde and welcomed her.
“You are already like a daughter to us,” Sam said. “Only now it’s official.”
“Mazel tov,” Sharon said, hugging Gilde. “Sister.”
Gilde hugged Sharon tightly.
“And you’re my precious second daughter,” Lenore said.
“Today is a very special day for our little family. Let’s all go out and have a meal,” Sam said. “I know a restaurant where there are no rations.”
They gathered together at a round table. Real white bread was served, not the grainy brown bread that had become a staple since the war.
“Gilde was such a help to us when I was sick,” Sam explained to William. “She took over the business. She took care of everything. It’s a good thing too. Because neither you nor Sharon ever wanted to learn anything about the jewelry business.”
“Sharon, you’re still going to the university in the fall, aren’t you?” William asked.
“Yes, I’m hoping to go. Although a lot depends on the war.”
“Of course she is going. I am feeling much better. Gilde and I are partners, we’ll run the business together…” Sam said.
“Is this what you want, Gilde?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“You’re not obligated, you know.”
“I know.” She smiled. “I asked your father before he got sick, if I could help him in the store. Then when he needed me, I knew enough to be able to work the business.”
William took Gilde’s hand. “My beautiful wife,” he said and smiled. She blushed and Sam said, “This calls for a bottle of wine. We have to make some toasts.”
CHAPTER 40
Gilde couldn’t look at the rest of the family as they said goodnight when she and William went to his bedroom. She kept her face cast down to the floor until the door closed. Of course it was expected that the newlyweds would sleep together. After all they only had two nights as a married couple before William shipped out again. But Gilde’s face was scarlet with embarrassment because the family knew what was going to happen behind William’s closed bedroom door. Gilde was a virgin and this sort of thing was very private to her.
For months, William had written Gilde beautiful romantic letters, but now that they were alone and the time had come to make love, she was nervous and shy.
“I brought you a present,” William said.
“Oh? You didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to.” He smiled. “Give me a minute. Sit down on the bed and close your eyes.”
She raised her eyes and looked at him. “What did you do, William Lawrence?”
“Come on, close your eyes so I can surprise you.”
She did as he asked.
“You can open them.”
He handed her a pair of real silk stockings and a bar of sweet-smelling soap. “This stuff was hard to get. But I wanted you to have it. I wish I could have brought you more.”
“Oh William, I’ve never had silk stockings before. I’ll save them for special occasions.”
“If you like them, I’ll try to get another pair and send them to you.”
“I love them. But this is plenty. I have no place to wear silk stockings. My cotton ones are just fine for working at the store and going shopping for food.” She smiled. “I’ll save these for us. For when you come home,” she said, then she put her arms around him and was overcome with emotion. “Just come home to me, safely. That’s all I ask.”
“I will, Gilde. Don’t be afraid.”
“I’ll count the days,” she said.
“I have a single Yahrzeit candle. It’s the only candle I have. I’ve been saving it for a long time. I am going to light it….” William got up and took it down from a shelf and then lit the candle. He turned off the light. A golden glow came over the room.
William sat down beside Gilde. “You’re trembling,” he whispered. She nodded. After reaching up to caress her face he leaned over and brushed his lips against hers.
She touched his face. “I love you,” she said.
“I love you too, Mrs. Lawrence. And when this war is over, I am going to come home to you and be the best husband any woman ever had.”
He kissed her again. “Let me take your shoes off,” he said, getting down on his knees and removing her shoes. Then he gently raised and massaged each foot. No one had ever massaged her feet before. It was calming. Then he kissed her calf. She looked down into his eyes. They were even deeper blue by the light of the candle.
William stood up and raised Gilde from the bed and into his arms. Then he kissed her gently at first, then more passionately. He took his time, didn’t rush. Slowly he undressed her until she had nothing on but panties and a bra. Gilde had never been naked in front of a man before and she wondered what he thought of her body.
It was as if he had read her mind. “In case you’re wondering what I’m thinking, I’m thinking that you’re the most beautiful woman I have ever
seen. Even now as I am looking at you, I can’t believe that you’re my wife. How did an average fellow like me ever end up with a magnificent wife like you? I am blessed. God has truly smiled on me.”
His compliments reassured her, but she blushed.
“Come lay down beside me. Let me hold you in my arms. Let me remember the smell of your skin and the silk of your hair.”
She got into bed and he quickly undressed himself. Then he lay beside her and stroked her hair. His fingers cherished her neck. He kissed her lips, her eyes. She sighed. Something inside of her stirred and the fear she’d felt earlier turned to desire. All of her nerve endings were responding to his adoring touch and he knew how to gently coax her body until she was aching to feel him inside of her.
With loving hands he undid her bra and removed her panties.
He took something from the night table, tore open the paper, and smoothed a condom over his erect penis. Then he straddled her and looked down into her eyes.
“What is that?” she asked.
“It’s something I learned about in medical training. I don’t want to bring a child into the world until this war is over.”
That was all he said. Then not to spoil the mood he leaned down and kissed her lips then gently kissed her breasts. “My beautiful Gilde … my one true love, my beshert. I will always be good to you all my days on earth.”
He moved slowly, very slowly. She felt a single stab of pain as their bodies joined to become one and then the pleasure was more glorious than any she had ever felt before.
They lay wrapped in each other for several minutes. Gilde felt William’s heart beat against hers. “I should put the candle out, so we will have a little left to use again,” he whispered softly in her ear.
She nodded. “You’re right.”
CHAPTER 41
Gilde relished the warm strength of William’s arms as he held her close to him through the night. They made love again in the morning. Then fell back asleep for two more hours. When they woke up they were both so hungry that the need to eat forced them to leave the bed.
The family was in the living room. Gilde still couldn’t look anyone in the eyes.
William had two slices of toast with margarine and marmalade. Gilde had one.
“What would you like to do today?” he asked. “Would you like to go and see a film?”
“No, I don’t want to spend our time together in a dark theater. I want to look at you.”
“Then let’s take a long walk….”
“Yes, let’s do that.”
“We can talk about the future. I want you to tell me all of your dreams so I can write them down and make them come true one at a time….”
They walked arm in arm down several streets, passing the park, and then the shul where they had just gotten married. William took Gilde’s hand in his. She looked up at him and smiled.
“William, I was so worried the whole time you were gone. When I wrote to you and asked where you were stationed you never answered. Why?”
“Top secret. We aren’t supposed to send information like that through the mail.”
“Can you tell me now? Were you in battle?”
“No, I wasn’t. I’ve been training at a training facility. But I wasn’t allowed to divulge the location. Just in case the letter somehow got into the wrong hands. Then the Nazis could bomb our training base.”
“Can you tell me now?”
“I’ll tell you that it was in Britain.”
“Is there a chance that you might be in Britain for the rest of the war? Maybe you won’t see any battles at all?” She held her breath, saying a silent prayer that this might be true.
“No, love, I got this two-day leave because when it’s over I ship out. I don’t know where they’re sending me.”
“Oh William.” She turned and hugged him. He kissed her hair. “I’m so scared. Are you afraid?”
“Of course I am. Only an idiot wouldn’t be afraid. But I have you to live for, so I’ll be extra careful.”
“Please…” she said, her hands trembling, “be extra careful.”
That night as William slept Gilde nuzzled her face into his neck and listened as he took each slow, easy breath. Where were they sending him? She didn’t push him for an answer, because even if he knew, she didn’t want to know. Her lips brushed his neck and in his sleep he pulled her closer to him. It was hard to believe that she was a married woman. It was even harder to believe that she had no idea when she would see her beloved husband again.
The precious seconds passed so quickly that Gilde couldn’t believe that the magical hours with William were coming to an end. She sat on the edge of the bed watching as William was packing his duffel bag, preparing to leave again. He took down his uniform shirt that had been hanging in the closet. Gilde had taken extra time to make sure it was pressed perfectly for him. He laid it on the bed. She reached over and ran her fingers over the fabric, but what she really wanted was to bury her head in his shirt and cry. As he was carefully folding the rest of his things, Gilde noticed the long, lean muscles in his arms flex with the movement. My husband is so good-looking, she thought. He doesn’t even realize how handsome he is. Not that it mattered to her right now, right now all that mattered was his life. I have to control myself or I know I’ll start crying and beg him not to leave me. If I thought it would help, I’d fall down on my knees and hold his legs so he couldn’t walk, so he couldn’t go… If only somehow it were in her power, she would do anything to keep him safe. But she knew he couldn’t stay and even if he could, he wouldn’t. Integrity, that’s what William called it. He loved her, she saw it in his face every time he looked at her, and she knew that he wished he didn’t have to leave her. But, Gilde knew even before she’d signed the marriage license that she was wedding a man with convictions. A man who would do what was right rather than what was comfortable, or easy. That was why he’d enlisted and why he was going now. She loved him for his strong character, and at the same time, she hated it. Right at this very moment in time, she wished he were a coward, a coward who would shirk his responsibilities so that he could stay safely at home in her arms.
But finally, the time to go had come, the farewell kisses had to end. William held her tightly. “You be a good girl, and you stay safe. I’ll be back. And, take care of our parents. Alright?”
She nodded. Tears had stained her cheeks.
“Listen, Gilde. I’ll be just fine. Don’t you worry about me,” William said. He smiled at her and touched her face. “I love you with all my heart,” he said and then he left.
From the window, Gilde watched as William swung his duffel bag over his shoulder. Her eyes were glued to his form until he turned the corner and she could no longer see him.
Reaching down she turned the wedding band on her finger and whispered, “Come home to me….”
CHAPTER 42
June 1942
The cloudless blue sky and bright sunlight of the June morning made it hard to believe that there was a war going on. Tender baby blades of grass were poking through the ground. Tiny flowering buds had formed on some of the trees, and Mother Nature seemed totally unaware of the pain and suffering of mankind. Gilde and Sharon sat outside on the stoop in the front of the building, sipping weak tea. Gilde had wrapped her hair into a twist so it wasn’t hanging on her neck.
“Do you ever wake up at night in a panic? I mean in total fear?” Sharon asked.
“For William.”
“Yes, of course for William, but for us too. I mean what if we lose the war? What if the Nazis come here and take over Britain, what then?”
“I’ve thought about that. If I let myself think about it too much, I’ll be paralyzed with fear. So, I try to put it out of my mind and I try to believe that we’ll win. Believe me, I was a child in Germany, I know how brutal the Nazis are. I will never forget the night that my father was arrested. He was arrested for nothing. Nothing except being a Jew.”
“If they get to our shores”—S
haron sighed—“it won’t only be the Jews here who will suffer, it will be all of the people here in Britain.”
Gilde nodded. “Let’s hope our brave soldiers can keep them away from our shores. And let’s pray that William comes back safely.”
Sharon nodded. They sat quietly while looking at the winter turning to spring.
Then Gilde spoke. “What’s left of the inventory of jewelry from before the war is running low. I don’t know what we will use to trade on the black market once it’s gone. The rations that they give us are very small. I suppose we’ll have to adjust the best we can.”
“Mama hardly earns enough to keep a roof over our head. And Papa is far too sick to go to work anywhere. He can’t even go back to the fire watching. And as you know, the rent for the store is more money than the store brings in every month.”
“I know. Believe me, I know all of it. And poor Papa, he’s lucky to stay awake for two hours at a time. He comes down here to the store when he can, but he gets tired so quickly,” Gilde said. “We are always a few weeks behind on the rent. So far, we’re paying it, but just barely. I don’t know how long we can hang on. Do you think that the landlord will put us out on the street?” Gilde added
“I don’t think they will, they’ve known my family for years, but you know how Papa hates to be indebted to people. He is always saying that he is not a schnorrer, he says that he always paid his own way and never expected charity from anyone,” Sharon said. “Before the war I was planning to go to the university, but I am thinking about going to work instead. I could probably get a full-time job as an overnight fire watcher. Or I might even get them to train me to drive an ambulance. I think I’d like to be a part of a rescue team. It would make me feel like I was doing something worthwhile.”
“Going to school has always been your dream. You’d have to give it all up.”