Gilde came into work later that afternoon. She was scheduled for the evening shift. When she went to the nurses’ station to check in the head nurse on duty told her about Archie’s episode with the food earlier that morning.
“He’s impossible. The day nurse couldn’t get him to let her examine his wound,” the head nurse said, shaking her head. “If he doesn’t let us keep it clean it’s sure to get infected. To tell you the truth … I don’t really care what happens to him. Whatever he gets he deserves.” “I’ll check on him tonight.”
“Do you really think you can talk him into letting you change his bandages? I sure doubt it.”
“I don’t know. But I am going to try,” Gilde said. “If we can’t keep that wound clean he’s going to lose that leg.”
“We all realize that.”
“Have you told him?”
“I haven’t. I can’t stand him, and like I said, I don’t care what happens to him anymore.”
“I’ll talk to him,” Gilde said.
Archie’s room was in an area right off the main community room where all the other patients lay in rows of beds. The size of Archie’s room was so small it looked like it had once been a broom closet.
Gilde stood in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest and watched as Archie lay on the bed with his head turned towards the wall. She took a deep breath and steeled herself for the confrontation. Then she went in.
“Good evening. It’s Gilde Margolis, I’m going to be your nurse tonight.”
He didn’t answer.
“Archibald?”
When he still didn’t answer, she walked around the bed to face him. He quickly wiped the tears from his cheeks.
“This room would be a lot better with a window,” he said.
“Yes, it would,” she said. “But it was difficult enough for the hospital staff to find you a private space. You could be in the main room with sick and dying men all around you.”
“I know,” he said, and something in his tone of voice let her know he wasn’t fighting. He sounded broken.
“Can I get you anything?”
“No, thanks.”
“Archibald? May I call you Archie?”
“Yes, sure, why not?”
“Archie. I’d like to examine your leg. Would that be alright?”
“No. It wouldn’t.”
“Archie. Please. I am afraid that if we don’t keep that wound clean….”
“It’s already happened.”
“What’s happened?” she asked.
“The doctor was here a few minutes ago. I guess they didn’t tell you. Or maybe they don’t yet.”
“Who doesn’t know? I don’t understand what you’re talking about”
“The other nurses at the station probably don’t know yet. The doctor probably hasn’t had a chance to tell them. He just left right before you got here. He examined my leg, it’s full of infection. He says it has to be amputated.”
“Oh.” Gilde slumped. That was why he was crying. Poor fellow. She felt her heart break for this stubborn, difficult man. “I’m sorry.”
“No need to be sorry. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do it.”
Gilde closed the door so that they could speak privately. Then came back and sat down on the edge of Archie’s bed. That’s why he was no longer so ornery. He had lost his fight. Now it all made sense.
“When do they plan to do the surgery?”
“Tomorrow. I figure the doc will let the nurses know tonight.”
“Listen, let me go and see to my other patients and as soon as I get them settled in, I’ll come back and sit with you.”
“You don’t have to, I’m fine.”
“But I want to…. Would that be alright with you?”
He shrugged. But then he looked into her eyes and nodded. She smiled at him.
“Gilde?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you,” he said.
CHAPTER 55
By the time Gilde finished with her other patients, the doctor had come to the main nurses’ desk and told them about the plans for Archie’s surgery the following day. Since Archie was Gilde’s patient that night, one of the nurses told her about the amputation to take place the following day.
“I’m going to spend some time talking to him tonight. I don’t want to leave him in there alone. Can you cover for me and keep an eye on my other patients? If you need me, just come in and get me,” Gilde asked one of the senior nurses.
“Yes, I agree with you, he shouldn’t be alone tonight. I know he’s a real jerk, but I sort of feel sorry for him,” the nurse said.
“Me too,” Gilde said.
Gilde spent the evening sitting on the edge of his bed and talking with Archie. He told her about his family. They talked about Christmas at his house when he was just a boy.
“Christmas at the Notman house was something to see alright. My mother loves to entertain. Before the war she spent a fortune on holiday parties. All of my relatives would come from wherever they were living at the time. We had plenty of bedrooms so some of them would stay with us. It was always a lot of fun. I looked forward to it all year. There was so much confusion with so many people in the house that when I was little my sister and I would wait until everyone was asleep and then sneak out at night and go sledding down the hill in the snow. If we would have gotten caught my parents would have killed us. But of course we never did.” He smiled “Those were good times.”
“Yes, it sounds like it.”
“My good times are over in this life, Gilde. I’m going to be a cripple. What kind of a life is that?”
“You’re a strong, handsome man. I mean, just look at the president of the United States, Roosevelt. He’s in a wheelchair for goodness’ sake. And he’s a very powerful man. Everyone respects him.”
Archie’s eyes were glassy but he didn’t shed the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks. He just shrugged. “Gilde,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “Will you be here tomorrow when I get out of surgery?”
It was her day off. She and Alden had arranged their time off to coordinate as often as possible. They had plans of going to a film the following day. But how could she tell Archie, who was such a pathetic man, a hard man who had finally let her break through his tough exterior, that she wouldn’t be there for him when he needed her most?
“I’ll be here,” she said.
Chapter 56
Gilde and Alden had become the best of friends. He helped her with all of her work as she struggled to get through her nurses training. There was nothing they couldn’t discuss. In fact finally when she’d come to trust him more than she trusted anyone else in the world, she told him that she was Jewish. He listened patiently as she told the whole story of the Kindertransport and how she’d been torn away from her family. Alden knew all about how Gilde had been shuffled around until she met William. Gilde explained how being married to William had given her a sense of security, how she’d become a part of a family. And she wept when she told Alden how much she loved and missed William. “I’ve kept in touch with his family. At first they wrote often, but over the last six months I haven’t received a letter. I don’t have any idea what’s become of them,” Gilde said.
“You’ve written?”
“Yes, several times. Neither William’s sister, or his mother have answered.”
“It could be the mail,” Alden said, gently patting Gilde’s shoulder.
Alden told Gilde about Judith, the girl he’d been attracted to in medical school. “She never paid much attention to me,” he said. “I didn’t know what to do, so I put all of my focus on becoming the best doctor I could be.” And, he was. Everyone at the hospital said he was a miracle worker. But when Gilde complimented him on his work he just smiled and said, “It’s not me who is the miracle worker, I’m just a vessel. You know, before I go into surgery I always ask Jesus to use my hands to heal,” Alden said.
He was a religious Christian, but he loved and r
espected her Jewish roots.
“Christ was a Jew,” he said one day as they were discussing the fact that Gilde kept her Judaism a secret from everyone else. “Most people never think about that. Or they don’t even realize it.”
“Let’s face it, Alden, if the other staff members knew I was Jewish, they would not accept me as easily as they do now. Look at how they treat the other Jewish staff.”
“Yes, you’re right. Well, as long as you want me to, I will keep your secret. After all, you’re my best friend. And best friends have to be able to trust each other.”
“I am so glad to have you in my life, Alden. You are a wonderful friend, confidante, and … medical trainer. I don’t know how I would ever have gotten this far working as a nurse without you. You helped me so much.”
“You had it in you all along. I just tried to help you bring it all out.”
The following morning before Archie’s surgery, Gilde called Alden to tell him that she would have to cancel their plans to go to the movies that afternoon.
“Alden?”
“Hello, Gilde.”
“I have some rather bad news. I can’t make the film today. One of my patients is having an amputation and he asked me to be there for him when he comes out of surgery. I feel sorry for him, Alden. He is a difficult man, but I think deep down he’s a sad boy. He’s losing a leg, and it’s hitting him hard. He doesn’t feel comfortable with the other nurses.”
“Archibald Notman, right?”
“You know him?”
“Everyone knows about him. His family is loaded. They own Notman Candy Company. Old wealth. Very old wealth. I hear he’s very hard on the staff.”
“It’s true.”
“If you’re going in to the hospital and we can’t spend the day together, I don’t mind if you want me to come in and assist in the surgery.”
“Would you, Alden? I’d feel better if you were there. He has an infection and after all, this is a big operation.”
“I’ll be there. While he is in recovery, we can have lunch. Then you can go up and see him when he wakes up.”
“Sounds perfect. Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Gilde. I’m here to serve.”
CHAPTER 57
Archie was in bad shape but he made it into recovery. He lost a lot of blood during the surgery and his life hung in the balance for a week. Gilde came to see him every day, even on her days off. In the beginning, he drifted in and out of morphine-induced sleep. She wasn’t even sure he knew she was there.
“He’s in a lot of pain, Gilde,” Alden said when he and Gilde left the room after he came to examine Archie one afternoon.
“Do you think he’ll make it?”
“So far it looks good. Keep an eye on his temperature. Infection is our biggest concern right now.”
By the second week, Archie was still on morphine, but they’d reduced the dosage and he was awake more often. His incision was healing and so far he was not showing any signs of infection. Gilde cleaned and redressed his wound every day, even on her days off.
“You realize that you saved my life,” Archie said to Gilde. “I’m not sure my life is worth much anymore. But I owe you a great deal.”
“Archie, you’re young, you’ll do great things with your life.”
“Of course I’ll never fly a plane again.”
“I know. But there are so many wonderful things you can do.”
“Like take over my father’s business? I never wanted that.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Archie. You’ll figure it all out. For now, rest, and heal. That’s what’s most important.”
And he did. By the end of the month Archie was able to stay awake for hours at a time. Gilde would come in and prop up his pillows, then she read to him.
“Your voice soothes me. Do you know that you have the most beautiful speaking voice? Do you sing too?”
Gilde laughed. “I guess I can sing. It’s kind of funny, but I haven’t done it in a very long time I mean not in front of anyone.”
“Will you sing for me?”
“Oh Archie, really? Here in the hospital?”
“The door is closed. Sing softly. I want to hear you.”
She shook her head. “I feel foolish.”
“Please?” He sounded so sweet when he asked that she agreed and sang a short song for him.
“Just as I suspected. You do have a beautiful voice, Gilde. With your looks you should be a film star,” Archie said. There was something about him when he was sweet that touched her very deeply. Maybe it was because he was always so mean, that when she saw his soft underbelly she melted.
“It’s funny that you think that. When I was a child I wanted to be on the stage. Even now, I love to go to the movies. I always wonder what it would feel like to be up there on the big screen and have a whole audience watching you.”
“Gilde…” Archie took her hand. “You’ve come to mean more to me than I can say. I look forward to your visit every day. In fact I wait for you. I find myself glancing at the doorway constantly and hoping you’ll be there.”
He needed her. Her heart ached with yearning to care for someone who needed her so desperately.
“I think I am falling in love with you,” Archie said, taking her hand. “I doubt you could ever love me. I’m damaged. But, I think I love you.”
This was the first time since she’d lost William that a man had touched her heart this way. She wanted to make things better for him. She wanted to save him. And perhaps she was confusing the need to rescue a shattered creature with falling in love.
She squeezed his hand. He brought her hands to his lips and kissed her fingers.
“Kiss me,” he said.
She leaned down and her lips brushed his. It had been a long time since she’d felt the desire to lay with a man. But Archie was attractive and adoring and he needed her. God, how he needed her.
Gilde got up and locked the door. Then she took off her uniform, and lay down in bed beside him.
It wasn’t easy to make love with all of the bandages and wires. But they managed. And, from that day on, Archie started to recover quickly.
CHAPTER 58
Elias
In the beginning of their relationship, Elias thought that Babs was different from the other women in his past. But as their relationship grew, he began to see similarities. Babs was working for the intelligence agency less and less. But, Elias had become even more involved. He was now doing translations for a sector of the British intelligence agency that was tapping into the German communications system.
After more auditions than Elias could count, Babs finally landed a bit part in a show. Elias suspected that Babs had slept with the director to get the part. When he asked her about it, she shook her head and accused him of being suspicious. Maybe he was. After all he hadn’t had much success with women. They’d all treated him like a joke, and as he’d grown up he found he wasn’t able to love anyone completely. Because he had developed a mistrust of women, he didn’t feel bad about being unfaithful to Babs. If she asked him, Elias would say that he loved her. But he told himself that he would never be a fool for another woman the way he’d been for Mary or even worse for Glenda. No woman would ever have the power to hurt him like that again.
The years had taken his boyish charm and replaced it with an older, more suave attractiveness. Working with intelligence had taught him to put himself and his own needs first. He liked having Babs around. He wanted to have a couple of kids. He thought that children might fill the emptiness in his heart. So, he’d been thrilled when Babs accepted his proposal of marriage. They had wonderful sex and she was a sweet, caring girl. She’d make a good wife. He was on her side. He wanted to see her succeed in her career. In fact, he was willing to help her in any way he could. But no matter what, no woman, not Babs or any other, would ever own his heart entirely again.
CHAPTER 59
October 1944
Gilde helped Archie learn to wa
lk on crutches. It was frustrating for him and sometimes he became angry and threw the crutches down. When he did he fell. Embarrassed and aggravated, he cursed as Gilde helped him up from the ground.
“I wish I was back to normal. I hate the way this whole bloody thing turned out. Why me? Why did I have to end up like this?” he said the week before he was to leave the hospital.
She gently took his hair out of his eyes, and as she did she could see him warm to her.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I was out of line talking that way to you.”
“You’re doing fine,” she said. “You’ll be going home next week.”
“I know. But I’m going home half of a man. My father will think I’m a failure.”
“How could he? You’re a war hero.” Gilde kissed Archie’s cheek.
“My sweet Gilde,” he said.
It seemed like the perfect time to tell him. But she was trembling.
“Archie?”
“Yes, sweetheart.”
“Archie. I missed my period.”
“Oh?”
“I think I might be pregnant.”
He was quiet for several minutes. She looked up at the clock then back at his face.
“When will you know for sure?” he asked.
“I’d say another month.”
“I’ll be home in Yorkshire by then.”
“I know.”
“We’ll stay in touch. I’ll write and call all the time. I love you, Gilde. I’m going to be here for you.”
She took his hand in both of hers.
CHAPTER 60
Elias
Babs knew Elias was unfaithful. Several people had come to her and told her that they saw him with other women. One of her close female friends said she saw him coming out of the doors of a hotel with his arm around a girl. Babs always stood up for Elias against their accusations of his infidelity. But secretly she knew they were all true. She also knew that he’d begun drinking to excess. Many times, she would find him passed out drunk. But Babs wasn’t one to give up easily. Slowly with the patience of a woman in love, she’d pulled painful stories of his past from the deepest hidden regions of his heart. There was no doubt in her mind that he loved her. But he didn’t trust her. He didn’t trust anyone. And she wasn’t sure how to convince him that she wouldn’t betray him the way every woman in his past had done.