My nursing school was close to my grandmother’s home, and as nervous as I was, I was excited too. I hoped studying the different herbs would allow me to find the three unidentified herbs that they had discovered in the cure.
DJ had disappeared after the fire, but his name had been read during the ceremony so he must have graduated. I hadn’t seen him since he handed over the proof against us. Mr. Crosby still didn’t appear to be a suspect in Bryan Pendrell’s murder. I hadn’t seen him and I hoped it stayed that way.
Steve was riding high on the infamy of his senior prank. Before the barrier had come down his plan to draw out and paint and feather the faculty had worked perfectly. The freak lighting burst and earthquake of the barrier falling only added to the prank. Then with the storm and the fire, the prank had risen so high in school legend that no other class would be able to one-up it for years to come.
That night Cherie and I sat alone in our room.
“I can’t believe we won’t even be in the same country,” Cherie said. “I’m going to miss you.”
It hit me then with a resounding thud how much our lives were going to change. My eyes threatened to fill with tears. “I’m going to miss you too.
Our trunks and suitcases were packed, our posters were down and it hit me that we were really leaving and not coming back. Next year, I wouldn’t have Cherie. She would have a new roommate, a new person to be part of her crazy adventures. She wouldn’t be helping me solve any ghost problems or making sure my shoes went with my outfit and that I had heard her favorite song from the new band she had found.
We’d e-mail, call and talk online but we wouldn’t really be a fixture in each other’s lives. We’d have to find other people to fill that role. She’d replace me. I knew this was how it was meant to be but it didn’t make it hurt less. I hugged her as she slipped out to go visit Steve. My heart panged with loss and my eyes burned with unshed tears. I had never thought about graduation as an end really, only as a beginning. And while the beginning was exciting, the ending part sucked.
Brent texted me that night to meet him in the groves. I found him lying on a blanket in a clearing, where the trees had been untouched by the fire.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked, stretching out beside him.
He immediately drew me close and I rested my head on his chest. “About the future.”
My tongue felt like I had just swallowed a mouth full of peanut butter. “Are you looking forward to Yale?”
He lifted his head so he could see me. “I’ve decided not to go”
“What?” That threw me. Yale had been his dream and with me not going to Columbia it was the path I thought he had picked. “What are you doing instead?”
Brent’s lips pursed. “I only have a few years left. I don’t have a future. I don’t want to waste what time I have left in a classroom.”
He dropped his head back and stared up at the stars.
“Don’t talk like that,” I snapped. It wasn’t really anger that made me surly, but fear. He had to keep hoping. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to have it for both of us, and I needed it. More than anything.
“It’s the truth.” His voice was soft. He pressed his lips against my temple. “I’m dying, Yara.”
“You are not.” I focused on the stars above me, wishing on all of them for strength I wasn’t sure a human could posses. “I’m going to fix this. The cure exists. We just have to figure it out. I owe this to you. I can’t just watch you die.”
“Thank you. If there is a recipe for this cure out there, I know you’ll find it.”
His faith meant the world to me. I couldn’t fail him. I wouldn’t.
Brent leaned his forehead against mine. Our eyes were locked on each other’s, and like an emotional transference, I felt the depth of his pain, his stark fear, his love for me. They all soaked into me and my throat tightened. It was too much, like he was handing the immensity of his soul, laying it bare.
He took my hand in his. “You’re a part of me, Yara. But. . .”
The way he said ‘but’ had me on edge. I shook my head. “Please don’t finish that sentence.”
“If you find someone else while you’re gone, you should date them. I love you so much that I want you to be happy. If you find—”
I covered his mouth with my hand. “Brent, stop. Just stop. We are not going to have a stupid conversation about letting each other go. I refuse to have it.”
His lush eyelashes brushed his face as he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. “Yara, I want you to find someone else so you won’t be alone when I’m gone.”
My fingers dug into my palms. “No. I’m not going to allow you to get your life in order and say your good-byes so you can check out. You aren’t dying.”
“No matter how many times you deny it, it doesn’t change the facts. I am dying. I have the treatment to hold it off, but it will only last so long. A few years at most. It’s not stopping what Thomas did to me, just postponing it.” The back of his hand trailed along my cheek. “And when I go . . . I need to know that you’re okay. That you’re loved.”
“And I will be, by you.” I kissed him, it was a desperate kiss that tasted of tears and of goodbyes I couldn’t face. I pressed myself against him trying to lose all the panic, grief, and sorrow I tried to ignore, to keep it from overwhelming me. He ended the kiss and brought his lips to my ear.
“I just don’t want you to be alone.”
I took a deep breath and sat up. “I know we’re young. I’m only eighteen, but I know what love is. I love you, Brent, and that isn’t going to change. And I won’t be alone, I’ll be with you.”
Brent sighed as he sat up, too. “I love you too. You have no idea how hard that was to say, how much I didn’t want to.”
“Are you trying to break up with me?”
He shook his head. “No, I’m not an idiot. It isn’t what I want. I just don’t want my illness to stand in your way of becoming the person you’re meant to be.” He took a deep breath. “I should break up with you, to make my death easier on you.”
“That won’t make it any easier. I’d rather suffer after you’re gone than live without you while you’re still alive. It would the worst kind of pain to know you were alive and not loving me, not mine.”
“That was beautiful.” He rubbed his palm against my hands. He put his arm around my shoulder, his fingers combing through my hair. We sat for a few seconds before he confessed, “But I don’t want you to see me grow weak.”
“I don’t think that—”
He interrupted me with a kiss. It was sweet and I drank it in, letting it temporarily fill all the hollow places his illness was carving into me. We kissed until my lips were swollen, my breath was unsteady and my heart was full.
“So where does this leave us?” I finally asked. “In love and apart?”
I snuggled into his chest, hating that we’d soon be saying goodbye for a long time. “So what do we do now?”
“Enjoy the time we have left together.”
He took my hand in his and kissed each of my fingers and his ring that I still wore. He lay back down and I cuddled close to him as we watched the stars and talked about everything, except how much our lives would change in a week and how much we were going to miss each other, trying to hold onto this one perfect moment, knowing we may never have another like it.
“Yara, since you dismissed my ‘breaking up with you to save you future pain’ idea, will you listen to my other one?”
“Okay, but it better be good because the last one blew.”
My head jostled as he laughed. “What would you think of my going to Brazil with you next week.”
“What?” A tidal wave of euphoria swept over me. I rested my arm on his torso as I lifted my head so I could see his face. “Are you serious?”
He nodded and smiled at me. “Would you mind me coming along?” He placed a hand on each of my cheeks as I shook my head. “Are you sure?”
“Pl
ease come. I want you with me.” I nodded as I laughed. “But you’ll need a passport and a visa.”
“I’ve been considering this for a long time. I have them both.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t say anything. Wow!” I was giddy. I threw my head back and laughed before I stretched out so I could kiss him again. “Your parents are going to kill you, you know.”
“I know. I’m thinking about leaving a note on my bed the morning we leave.”
I imagined his parent’s reaction and shuddered. “That sounds like an excellent plan.” I planted a kiss under his jaw, then two or three on his lips. “Are you really coming with me?”
“Yes.” His words were infused with hope. “I’m coming with you.”
Author’s note:
While I did add some fictional details to the accounts of the racing in Corona, the races themselves were real. Grand Avenue in Corona, California, forms a circle three miles around, giving the city its nickname: The Circle City. From 1913 to 1916, three international car races were held there. Over 100,000 spectators came to watch and the purse (the amount the winner received) was second only to Indianapolis.
In 1916, Bob Burman’s car lost a front tire, and went into the crowd. Several people were killed and many more were injured. Bob himself was fatally injured and died later at the hospital. Bob’s wife, Helen, did have a dream that he would be killed and had begged him not to compete. As he lay dying, a woman attempted to steal a diamond pin he wore for luck. Officers stopped the woman and ordered her searched by nurses, who found the pin in her corset.
The Pendrell family is entirely fictional. The car crash that killed Bob Burman was an accident. No one ever claimed to have tampered with the vehicle and no one convinced the female thief to steal Mr. Burman’s diamond pin. The dream (as far as we know) was Helen Burman’s and not the dream of her friend.
I also took a bit of literary license with Trader Joe’s inventory; the Trader Joe’s in Dos Lagos doesn’t carry any of the special Waker herbs I mentioned (as far as I know).
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank and acknowledge:
First, my husband. Without his support, time, and help, this book would never have been finished. His grammar skills, logical brain, and complete faith in me got me through.
My two children, who were always ready with hugs when I felt discouraged.
Melonie Piper, for her contribution to the book. She was there in beginning when I was brainstorming what the book would be about, during the first draft and at the end for the final push. Thank you!
Alma, for once again designing me a beautiful cover and making sure I was still alive while in the midst of heavy editing.
My parents, who have always believed in me and supported my dreams.
Nancy, my wonderful editor, who was also a cheerleader when I needed it most.
Janette Rallison, for going through my first fifty pages and sharing her wealth of editing knowledge with me.
Kristie Cook, for helping me know when a scene didn’t fit, or needed more.
Sera Phyn, whose plot suggestions really helped round out the whole story.
Vinaya, whose suggestions came at a time when they were desperately needed.
Lesley, for her detailed feedback.
DJ, for his enthusiastic response to my first chapter.
Wendy, who managed to be a beta reader despite her busy schedule.
Angela, for catching some mistakes I had totally missed
Heather, for ignoring her inner editor while reading my very rough first draft.
My big sister Melanie, for her many phone conversations.
Megan and Jeff, for their knowledge of police procedure.
Aaron, for helping me understand a little bit more about politics.
Nikki, for answering all of my medical questions.
Elka, for letting me know some of the long term effects of seizures.
Larry for sharing his knowledge of paramedic procedures.
A HUGE thank you to all of my fans who have left reviews and sent e-mails letting me know how much they have loved Intrinsical.
Finally, Kamilla Quast and the Pendrell Publishing team. I appreciate your continued belief and support in my writing.
Lani Woodland, Indelible
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