“Do you feel any kind of connection at all to this woman, this Fin?”
Jessie sighed. The only thing connected to Finola Elliott was Charisma magazine and Elliott Publication Holdings. She didn’t seem to have any other life. “Well, there’s definitely a resemblance. Maybe you’d have to be looking for it, but it’s there.”
“That’s not the kind of connection I meant.”
“I know. Well, no. I’ve just watched her, and stayed out of her way.”
He was silent for a moment. Then he sighed and said, “Maybe you need to get in her way.”
He was right. “Dad, she registered her name on an adoption Web site. Don’t you think that might mean she’s hoping to find me? Hoping for the same relationship I want?”
“I don’t know, honey. She’s living in a different world and from what you say, she’s a Type A workaholic. She’s never had children, Jessie. She doesn’t sound too maternal.”
You got that right. Unlike Jessie’s mother, who had doted and adored her daughter. “She’s not,” Jessie acknowledged wistfully.
“I just don’t want you to get hurt, sweetheart. By any of these people.”
Too late for that. But Jessie didn’t want to cloud the issue by discussing her relationship with Cade. That romance wasn’t going to last anyway. She couldn’t trust him. He didn’t even tell her about the decision. She squeezed her eyes against the pain that seared her every time she thought of it.
“You’re probably right, Daddy. You usually are.”
She heard his soft chuckle. “Listen, if there was some way you could find out that she is looking for you, more than just registering on a Web site, but really looking, then I’d feel better about you telling her who you are.”
“Yeah, I would, too. This is like living a lie.” Jessie paced from one end of the tiny studio to the other. “I hate it.”
“I bet you do. And maybe the shadowing thing is just the ticket, Jessie. You can really get to know her and maybe you could find out if she’s willing to face her past.”
She paused by the door and flipped through some envelopes that Lainie had left in the bill basket they’d hung on the wall. “I guess you’re right. The shadowing would give me the perfect opportunity to do some digging.”
“She won’t be suspicious of you,” her father reassured her. “Just be yourself and take advantage of what they’ve offered you.”
“I know, I feel so bad acting all creepy about the assignment. It’s a vote of confidence and, you know, I may have started this little secret job for one reason, but I really like the business. And I’m good at it.”
“I have no doubt about that. Does that mean you’re never coming home?” He couldn’t hide the note of disappointment in his voice.
“I’ll be back,” she promised. But then she thought of Cade. Not only did she love working at the magazine, she loved being with him. But that feeling might not be mutual, and her father sounded like he needed a little reassurance, too. “Hey,” she said with a heavy injection of warmth in her voice. “You know how much I love you.”
“I just want you to be happy, sweetheart.”
“I know.” And she was happy…yesterday.
Cade stood with his knuckle in midair, about to knock. He’d raced to Jessie’s apartment, charmed his way in the front door when another tenant left, found her apartment number on the mailbox, and bounded up the four flights of stairs two at a time.
His heart hammered steadily, but not from tearing up the stairs. Through the thin wooden door, he heard her voice.
And froze at the sound of her words.
This is like living a lie. I hate it.
What was like living a lie? He leaned an inch closer to the door.
I guess you’re right. The shadowing would give me the perfect opportunity to do some digging.
His gut clenched as he listened to her describe a “secret little job.”
I’ll be back. Hey, you know how much I love you.
The words punched him so hard, he almost reeled right down the stairs. Without ever knocking, he turned and got as far from Jessie Clayton’s door as he could.
Chloe Davenport looked up from the filing cabinet that took up part of the long wall that ran along the sides of Cade and Fin’s executive offices.
“He’s not in, Jessie,” Chloe said. “And Diana’s not here either.” Although the two assistants were technically assigned to each executive, they often stepped in for one another.
“Is he expected in today?” Jessie asked, adjusting her glasses out of habit as she looked at the lovely brunette and mentally noted that she’d never seen Chloe wear that shantung silk dress before. Of course she hadn’t. As Lainie noted long ago, Chloe never repeated.
“He should be in shortly. Do you have a meeting scheduled with him, Jessie?”
“Well, no, not really.” Maybe she should get on his calendar. That might be the only way he’d ever talk to her again. She still couldn’t believe he hadn’t called her all afternoon or all evening. She’d checked to see if the phone was working so many times that Lainie started to tease her.
Even though it had been no teasing matter. To avoid the discussion, Jessie had gone to a movie alone, relieved when her roommate crashed early. Jessie had risen at five, and was out the door to work before Lainie had stirred.
“I’ll have him call you when he gets in,” Chloe said, then she narrowed her blue eyes. “Are you feeling better, by the way? Scarlet said you went home sick yesterday.”
“I am, thank you.” Jessie took a deep, steadying breath.
“And I’m ready to start my shadowing assignment today.”
Chloe’s face brightened. “Yes! Congratulations on that. Fin is usually in way before eight, but she had to run an errand this morning. I’ll buzz you when she’s here, so you can get started.”
“Great. I can’t wait.”
“You can’t wait for what?”
Jessie’s legs threatened to give way at the sound of Cade’s voice. Mustering more indifference than she could have imagined possible, she turned to see him strolling toward his office.
“Shadow intern, here.” She gave him a sassy mock salute.
“Reporting for duty.”
His eyes narrowed so imperceptibly she was certain Chloe hadn’t noticed. But then Chloe hadn’t spent forty-eight straight hours memorizing every expression on his face.
“Glad you’re feeling better,” he said, just pointedly enough to make the hair on the back of her neck stand up. He paused at his assistant’s desk and picked up a few pink message slips, and when he looked down to read them, instead of at her, Jessie cursed the disappointment that kicked her as hard as Oscar’s hind leg.
“Cade.” The word was out before she could check herself in front of Chloe.
He looked up. “Hmmm?” Speaking of indifference. What was going on with him?
“No complications, huh?” Forget Chloe. This was too important.
He drew back at her words, searching her face. “Jessie,” he said slowly, indicating his office with one hand, “why don’t you come in here so we can talk?”
He let her wait for a few minutes alone in his office while he looked through the same messages that had been on Diana’s desk since the night before.
Two could play this game, Jessie Clayton.
Finally, he strolled in and closed the door behind him. Just in case the resolve he’d swore he’d have around her melted and she ended up in his arms.
“So what made you change your mind?” he asked, purposely keeping all emotion out of his voice. “I hadn’t expected enthusiasm.”
She turned from the window. In the time he made her wait, she’d taken off her glasses. So she really wanted to play dirty.
“I don’t see that I have a choice,” she said, her voice unnaturally bright. “And I think I’ve acted foolishly. Of course I want the opportunity to shadow Fin.”
He nodded thoughtfully, but didn’t make a move. The only sound in the
room was the soft ticking of the brass clock on his desk.
“What is the matter with you?” she finally asked. “Why are you acting so weird?”
He released a little breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Why don’t you tell me how mad you are that I made that decision after you asked me not to?”
He’d give her a chance to tell him the truth. Maybe she would.
She waved her hand casually. “Oh, I’m over it.”
Or maybe she wouldn’t. “Really? That was easy.”
“Cade.” She took a step closer, as though physically unable to keep this far away from him. He knew the feeling. “You’re the one who broke my trust. I wish you had told me first, but—”
He held up his hand to stop her. “Just tell me the truth, Jessie. What changed your mind?”
She shrugged. “I realized it was a good opportunity and I should take it.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And what changed yours, Cade?”
“Mine? Honestly, it was Fin’s decision to choose you. But I never had a chance to tell you that.”
She looked dubious. “You had a chance, but that’s not what I mean. What changed your mind about me? Why are you acting like a different man than you were Sunday afternoon?”
“We’re at work,” he said coolly.
“I thought you weren’t ashamed.”
The crack in her voice squeezed his heart. “I’m not,” he said, forcing a casual tone. “I figured you’d be so angry at me that—”
“I’m not, Cade.” She moved closer, her fresh floral scent torturing him. “I’m going to make the best of the situation. It’s a great opportunity and I’ll take advantage of it.”
Take advantage being the operative phrase.
Well, two could take advantage of a situation. Let her think she was getting inside information. She wouldn’t find out anything that would help one of their competitors; he’d make sure of that.
And, in the meantime, he could take advantage of the situation, couldn’t he? His arms already itched to hold her and he could taste her kiss.
As though her mind was on the same wavelength, she closed the space between them and looked up at him. Her arms slid around him and no force of nature could keep him from embracing her.
“I missed you,” she whispered, looking up with nothing but total sincerity in those lovely green eyes.
“I missed you, too,” he said. And that was no lie.
As he covered her mouth for the kiss she offered, the torture just increased. Sweet, blissful, achy torture.
Her tongue slipped into his mouth and he took it, pulling her into him to feel the response he couldn’t fake under any circumstances.
As much as he tried to think of this as taking advantage of an opportunity, he knew he couldn’t make love to Jessie anymore.
That would be a huge mistake.
Seven
Jessie arrived in the empty Charisma conference room a few minutes before eight-thirty. Fin would be in any moment for the morning meeting she held with various staff members every day. This would be the fourth session Jessie had attended as Fin’s shadow intern, her fourth day in her new assignment.
And although he’d done everything he could to avoid anything resembling personal contact, Cade McMann was scheduled to be the only staff member in attendance at this, a management meeting, so she’d see him, too, in a matter of minutes.
She took a slow, deep breath at the prospect of being in the room with both Fin and Cade. Because the only thing more perplexing than the cool shoulder she was getting from Cade was the contrasting impression Fin had been making over the past few days.
Finola Elliott was tough, driven, smart, patient and strategic. She wore exquisite clothes and hid a small sprinkling of freckles with a light coat of makeup, but by the end of the day, the dusting of delicate pigmentation was visible. She always had an easy smile, and a very subtle sense of humor.
Fin was a woman of contradictions and that made Jessie like her—something Jessie wasn’t sure she wanted to happen. What if Jessie liked Fin and revealed her secret, but Fin—
“Oh my God, wait until you see this.” Scarlet breezed into the conference room, a swooshy tangerine skirt flipping around her legs as she practically ran to the last empty space on the layout wall. “C’mere!” she demanded to Jessie.
“Check this out!”
Jessie circled the oval table in the center of the room, her gaze locked on a splash of bright yellow on the oversize page proof. Scarlet pushpinned the image into the corkboard with an air of complete victory.
“Look at you!” Scarlet exclaimed, standing back to admire the work.
Jessie stared at the picture, and her heart reared up like a stunned stallion. “Oh!”
The photographer had captured it all: her sideways glance of flirtation, along with a come-peek-at-me smile of invitation to a man who did just that. Cade’s hungry eyes combined with just enough slack in his jaw to prove the timeless power of a half-unzipped sweater and a black lace bra.
“Is that not the sexiest ‘Color Me Charismatic’ we have ever had?” Scarlet half giggled with delight. “You two look like you’re about to run off to the next bedroom and—”
“You should blur the faces.”
Jessie jumped at the sound of Cade’s voice behind her.
Scarlet whirled around and sliced him with a look as if he’d suggested heresy. “Are you out of your mind, Cade? The faces are the whole shot. All that chemistry! It’s a wonder the page doesn’t ignite. Good heavens, that designer will move ten thousand of those sweaters in January, thanks to every woman who dreams of having a man drool over her that way.”
Jessie turned back to the picture, because the sight of Cade in two dimensions was only slightly easier to bear than Cade in real life. Especially when he wore that grim expression he only donned when he was about to make a directive that his staff wouldn’t like.
“Blur the faces,” he said again, ignoring all of Scarlet’s exuberance and dropping some files and an electronic day planner at his usual seat. “That’s the magazine’s policy.”
“Only when we use anonymous women-in-the-street shots, and we risk getting sued,” Scarlet countered. “We’re wasting a tremendous opportunity if we don’t leave your faces in this picture. Don’t you agree, Jessie?”
She felt both their demanding gazes on her. If it were up to her, she’d turn the thing into a billboard in Times Square. She loved the picture, but obviously, it didn’t have the same impact on Cade.
“I have no intention of suing,” she said calmly, as she made her way around the conference room table to where her notebook and files sat next to Cade’s. Wordlessly, she slid her stuff down to leave a few empty chairs between them. “If you think the feature will be more effective leaving the photographer’s subjects unblurred, go right ahead.” She managed a blank look at Cade. “Unless you’re worried about your reputation, Cade.”
He opened a file, his face impassive. “I’m not.”
Scarlet snorted softly. “I guess hearts could break all over Manhattan when they see his attention snared by the Lady in Yellow.”
“No hearts will break,” he said, using an apathetic tone Jessie imagined he’d practiced on his four sisters to deflect teasing. “I think we should keep it consistent with what we do every month. Our readers expect anonymity in this feature. It’s part of the beauty of why CMC works so well.”
Raw disappointment squeezed her throat. So much for Mr. There Will Be No Complications, the man who would be proud of her, of their relationship. He was ashamed. Embarrassed. Mortified that he’d ever drooled.
Jessie didn’t trust her voice, so she merely took a seat without saying a word.
“Let Fin decide,” Scarlet suggested, as their boss walked into the conference room.
“Let Fin decide what?” Fin threw a friendly smile at the group, smoothing her silk skirt as she took her seat. “What am I deciding now?”
“Look
at this ‘Color Me Charismatic’ layout,” Scarlet insisted, quickly unpinning the page to bring it to Fin. “Isn’t it fabulous? Cade wants to blur the faces.”
Fin leaned forward and studied the art.
Scarlet tapped her foot expectantly.
Cade casually poked at his electronic device, as though the decision didn’t really concern him at all.
And all Jessie could do was hold her breath.
“This is…” Fin looked up slowly, her gaze zeroing in on Jessie. “Amazing.”
Jessie managed a tight smile, the air still trapped in her lungs.
Fin tore her attention from Jessie, looked down to the picture and back up at her again, giving both a healthy dose of scrutiny. Oh God. “You look…”
Jessie’s heart walloped against her chest, stealing every drop of blood from her head and threatening never to send any back. She blinked away a splash of light-headedness. Here it comes. Here it comes.
“You look…”
Like me. “Yes?”
“So different without your glasses, Jessie. You should get contacts.”
Relief forced out her breath in a whoosh and she covered it with a quick laugh. Touching the frames of her glasses, she leaned back into her chair. “You think?”
The total lameness of the response must have been lost on Scarlet who clicked an impatient fingernail on the layout. “To blur or not to blur, Fin. That is the question.”
“Well, I don’t know.” This time Fin looked at the picture and up at Cade, her expression morphed into a tease. Of course, Fin wasn’t stupid. She’d walked in on Jessie and Cade together in his apartment. Surely she suspected that something more than intern training had been going on that afternoon.
“You look pretty hot yourself, Cade. This expression could move some sweaters and magazines.”
Cade shrugged. “I like when CMC is anonymous. I think it gives the whole feature a mysterious quality that readers like. But, hey, if you guys want to use me as the poster boy for sweater worship, feel free.” He shot a lazy grin at Jessie that fried her nerve endings.
Scarlet swooped up the layout with a smug look of satisfaction. “Sweater worship. You’re brilliant, Cade. That’s the headline.”