She leaned forward and surprised him by touching his knee. “Whatever it was, it was rough on you.”
The words, the touch, the sympathy, and wholly unexpected understanding ripped right through him. This was what a man who did what he did needed. This woman, this tenderness.
“Tell me.” She leaned back and lifted her bare feet to settle them on his thighs.
He closed his hand over her ankle and stroked her foot. “I don’t want to…talk.” No, he wanted to touch more. All. Everything. That’s what he needed now, not conversation about darkness and death. “I have a better idea. Let’s go into the house.”
“I like it out here. It might be my new favorite place in the world.”
“I have a better new favorite place for you.” He slipped to the ground to kneel in front of her. “My bedroom.”
She exhaled a soft laugh. “Blunt. You are so damn blunt.”
“All right, I’ll be subtle. Hey, Beth, why don’t you come back to the house, because I’m going to take a shower? Which means I’ll be naked. You can join me, and who knows what might happen?”
“That’s subtle?”
“Okay, okay.” He cleared his throat and leaned closer, letting his finger inch up her calf again, rounding her knee to tickle behind it. “Beth, it’s been a tough twenty-four. I could use a…back rub. And a front rub.”
“Better, but still not, you know, seduction.”
“That’s what you want? To be seduced?” He pulled her into him, spreading her legs, worming his way closer to her.
Her chest rose and fell as he slid his hands into her hair, then dragged his fingers over her throat, down her breastbone, and to her chest. He thumbed one nipple, the curve against his hand larger than the last time he’d caressed her, reminding him that she was pregnant.
She took a shuddering breath and lifted a little to offer him more of her body.
He leaned in close and let his lips brush hers. “I can’t think about anything but you, Beth,” he whispered into her mouth. “I want to be inside you again. I want to feel you come in my hands. I want to put my mouth on every inch of your body. I need you.”
He kissed her and let their tongues touch, her nipple budding hard in his palm.
“Come to bed with me, baby.” He kissed her harder, drawing her lower lip with his teeth before he broke the contact and looked into her eyes. “Bring me back from hell, Beth. And I promise you a little bit of heaven.”
Very slowly, she pushed him back, her pupils dilated and dark now, telling him he was definitely having an effect. “Now that was a seduction.”
He stood, letting his hands slide over every inch of her again, then tunnel into her hair as he tilted her face up to his. “If you want me, I’ll be in the shower.”
He left her on the dock, one hundred percent sure she’d follow. But this was Beth, and he had to let her make that decision herself.
Chapter Fifteen
If you want me. That was sarcasm, right? Because right then, trembling and turned on, Beth didn’t think she’d ever wanted anything as much as she wanted Ken Cavanaugh.
She’d never seen him like that, she thought, closing her eyes to remember the bit of…desperation etched on his face and evident in his touch. Like he didn’t want to go another minute without sex.
Which was exactly the way she felt.
But was feeling that enough to justify it? This was no commitment-free hookup at a high school reunion. Everything was different now. She was carrying his child. They were connected in a way that terrified her, that felt permanent but still so risky.
If you want me.
Her nipples burned. Her lower half melted. And her hands ached to touch every muscle on his body. Every one. That probably counted as “wanting” him.
Still, she stayed glued to the chair, her eyes on the water and the rising sun that turned the sky gold. What was stopping her?
The obvious, of course. What if something happened in the next four weeks—or eight months? Where would that leave a couple—a couple who’d severed their ties twice already because of the clouds that hung over them—if they attempted to build an entire, shaky relationship on a child they both wanted?
Having sex again would really complicate things, wouldn’t it?
Or make her insanely happy, satisfied, and blissful. And him.
I need you.
That need had been stamped all over his face and made her ache with the desire to give him the comfort and escape he wanted.
So sex could be satisfying, blissful, comforting, and an escape. What the hell was she waiting for?
She pushed herself up to cross the dock and pad barefoot over the grass to the patio. With each step, her heart rate ratcheted up. The closer she got to the house, the more tense she became.
Inside, she could hear the shower running in the master bedroom, and that sound stole her breath and made her a tiny bit dizzy.
Could she do this?
She visualized the water sluicing over his hard body, wetting every muscle, falling onto the sweet curve of his backside and the mighty erection that no doubt hardened and grew in anticipation.
Could she not do this?
A few more steps toward the bedroom and she could practically smell the soap and feel his hands lathering her and taste lemon tea-flavored kisses as he toweled her off and took her to the bed.
And then she imagined the pain of it all if the worst happened.
He stepped out of the bathroom, stealing her breath as he looked exactly like she’d imagined. Naked, primal, ready, and soaked.
“You showered already.”
“You took a long time.”
Her gaze dropped over every inch of him, and fire licked up her body and down her back, lodging in her lower half, searing and softening everything.
“I can go back in if you want to shower with me.”
“I’m…scared, Ken.” The admission popped out without her thinking, because who could possibly think when faced with a semihard, naked god whose sizable chest rose and fell with his own strangled breaths?
But there it was—the truth. She was terrified.
He closed the space between them to wrap his arms around her. He pulled her into him, tight enough for her to feel his heart hammering in his chest and his erection like a ridge against her.
All she wanted to do was…touch.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m scared, too,” he said into her ear.
She closed her eyes, her body so heavy with need she had to lean against him. He didn’t feel scared. He felt hard and ready and perfect. “A little better,” she said. “What are you scared of?”
He tipped her face up. “The fact that I haven’t even thought about another woman since the night we were together. I’ve wanted you and only you. I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that scares the crap out of me sometimes.”
She searched his face, not answering, but always appreciating his candor.
“You’re so worried about me dumping you if something happened to the baby,” he said. “Well, guess what? I’m worried about you dumping me. It would hurt.”
She tried to breathe, but the thought that she had that kind of power over his feelings took her breath away. “Well, once we do this, with a baby involved, then—”
“The baby can’t get hurt.” He spoke with the authority of someone with medical training. “But if you’re worried—”
“No, not about that. My doctor said sex is fine.”
“Then what? Why is it different?”
“Because we’re connected now. There’s a child.”
A slow smile spread on his face, lighting his eyes. “I’m still trying to understand why that’s a bad thing.”
He just didn’t get it. “How can you be so optimistic?”
“In my line of work? If I weren’t, I’d kill myself.”
“Something could happen to the baby,” she said. “Not because we had sex, but because I’m still physically vulnerable.” A
nd emotionally, but she didn’t add that.
“You think I’d disappear if something happened to this baby?” He stroked her back, pulling her closer, pressing kisses into her shoulder and neck.
“I…I don’t know. I can’t think when you do that,” she admitted, purring as he nestled deeper. “It’s so hard to say no to you.” Her hands moved over him, finding muscles and flesh and hard curves of masculinity on his shoulders and back.
“Then don’t.” He moved some of her hair away and kissed her ear.
She almost melted as his breath tickled her down to her toes.
He dragged his hands up and down her waist, lifting her tank top slowly, but she inched back, denying him the chance to get it off.
“Wait.” There was one more thing she needed to know. Absolutely had to know before she went one little bit further. “I have to ask you a question.”
Maybe it was the warning in her voice, but he looked wary already. “Okay.”
“Have you, um, possibly been in my house since I left it?”
He frowned as if the question made no sense. “No. Was I supposed to be? Did you want me to go over and check on it?”
“No, no. I just…wondered if you had.”
“Why?”
“I thought maybe someone had been there while I’ve been gone because something was different than the way I thought I’d left it, but I could be completely wrong. There is such a thing as pregnancy brain, you know.”
He drew back, concern in his eyes. “Could it have been the water remediation team? My guys when they helped with the flood?”
“No, I don’t think they went back there.” She shook her head. “Never mind.”
“Never mind nothing. If someone was in your house and you didn’t know about it, that’s a big deal.”
She quieted him with a touch. “Nothing was stolen, nothing was missing. There were some storage bins in my closet that I file papers in that seemed to be different, and the sliding door was open partway. It was—”
“What’s in the files? Bank statements? Passwords? Your passport? Are you sure nothing was missing?”
She shook her head. “Nothing was missing.”
“Why would you think I would have…” She saw the wheels turning and turning, then click into place as realization registered on his face. An ugly, unwanted realization. “The papers your dad gave you. The stuff about my father’s death. That’s in those files, isn’t it?”
She looked at him without answering. But she didn’t have to.
He breathed out a curse and backed away.
“That’s great, Beth,” he barked. “You really thought I’d break into your place to get my hands on that? To do what? Blackmail you? Seek damages? Get back at your dad?”
He marched across the room, snagging a pair of boxers from the floor but she caught up to him before he got far. “Ken, don’t—”
“I’m right, though, aren’t I?”
“Yes, and I was wrong to even think it. Obviously, I imagined the whole thing, I’m sure.”
“Then why did you ask me about it?”
“Because…I needed to know.”
He closed his eyes, a whirlwind of emotions playing out on his face. “I want this to work so bad,” he said, his voice gruff and trapped in his chest. “I thought that we’re smart and good enough to do it. But this thing, this memory, this fact of life is always going to be between us.”
She nodded slowly, vaguely aware that she put her hand on her stomach, that place where their baby grew and formed an incredibly tenuous bond between them.
“I…I’m going to Sanibel today,” he said, all that lust channeling into frustration so palpable she could taste it. “I need some time and space. You know what that’s like, right?”
All too well. Except, right now, she didn’t want time or space without him in it.
But she didn’t argue as he walked out of the room and left her standing there, all alone with her doubts and fears and uncertainties. She’d fed off his optimism, drank in his hope, and when it was gone, she felt so empty inside.
Chapter Sixteen
Beth was still trying to make sense of the roller coaster that was her morning while she drove to meet the water damage team at her house. When her cell phone rang, she felt her heart rate kick up with hope, like a car chugging to the top of the track before the next big drop. When she saw RJ’s name on the caller ID, she thudded back down again.
On a sigh, she tapped the speaker and opened her mouth to answer, but RJ’s voice cut off her greeting.
“Listen, Beth! Listen to this!”
She cocked her head toward the phone, listening to nothing. Well, a faint…swoosh.
And back she went for the next stomach-flipping loop on the roller-coaster ride.
“Did you hear it, Aunt Beth?”
Yeah, she did. She heard pure joy in the voice of a man who hadn’t experienced a lot of it in his life. She simply couldn’t deny him a second of it no matter how she felt about her current situation. “You have a heartbeat.”
“And a gender.” His voice cracked a little.
She beamed. “Are you sharing?”
“It’s a girl.”
“Oh, RJ.” Her throat swelled with emotion. “I’m really happy for you. And I assume I get to meet Selina now that I’ve been called from the doctor’s office.”
“Yeah, we’re going to work something out,” he said, clearly distracted. “Give me a few days and we’ll get together.”
“Sounds good.” She wondered if he’d heard anything from Dad or even Landon—though that was unlikely—about the company “split.”
“Beth, can you believe it?” he exclaimed. “I’m going to be a father. It’s the most amazing thing in the world.”
“I know,” she said, her own eyes filling at his unbridled joy. “I’m thrilled for you both. Have you told Dad yet?”
“I called the office, but Jennifer said he took a sick day.”
“Really?” She thought about Josie’s insistence that they call 911 yesterday, which, at the time, seemed a tad overdramatic. But could something be wrong?
“Yeah, he’s probably home practicing his putting,” RJ said. “I’d bet anything on it. Anyway, I don’t have time now. We’ll get around to telling him soon enough.”
She couldn’t blame him for the lack of enthusiasm. Who knew how Dad would react to the news? He’d always been so tough on RJ, so disappointed in him.
“Gotta go,” her brother said.
He said good-bye just as Beth crossed the causeway and drove onto Mimosa Key, stopping at the four-way intersection. Impulsively, she swung left and headed toward Pleasure Pointe. It didn’t take long to drive to the waterfront home Dad and Josie had built a few years ago. She pulled into the circular drive and immediately spotted Landon’s Infiniti SUV parked there as well. Rebecca drove that car, and it came stocked with four kids, which meant Dad couldn’t be too sick.
Josie opened the front door and greeted Beth with a tight smile. “Hello, Beth,” she said, standing right in the middle of the doorway, not inviting her in.
“I came to see Dad.”
“Maybe another time. He’s resting comfortably.”
Just then, one of the boys went zooming by, screeching at a high pitch, followed by one of the twins, who screamed, “You’re it, Cooper! You’re it now!”
Beth gave Josie a look. “Not that comfortably.”
Josie turned and let out a sigh, then stepped back. “Rebecca and I are up to our eyeballs planning the twins’ birthday party here tomorrow.”
Beth hadn’t been invited. She didn’t even know it was Capri and Catalina’s birthday. “Oh, well, I want to say hey to Dad. I won’t stay long,” Beth said, following her stepmother over the creamy marble, past the elegant tufted furniture of the living room to the back of the house where Rebecca sat at an expansive coffee table covered with arts, crafts, and party favors.
“Oh, Beth, hi.” She pushed up immediately, coming aro
und the table. “Didn’t expect to see you here today.” Rebecca was, as always, dressed in country club chic, flawless makeup, shampoo-commercial black hair, and a flash of diamonds that let anyone who saw her know her economic status was in the top one percent.
“I just dropped in to see my dad for a second.”
“Yes, but…” Rebecca grasped Beth’s arm, eyes wide. “How are you?” There was always a tinge of sympathy in her tone when Rebecca talked to her, as though Beth couldn’t actually be happy or fulfilled, not like Rebecca, happily married mother of four, was.
“I’m fine.”
“I heard about the flood and the delay in that house you’re working on.”
“Good news travels fast,” she said.
“Was it awful?” she asked, concerned.
“No, it could’ve been much worse. We’ll be back on schedule soon. I heard you’re—”
“Look, Mommy! Look!” One of the twins came tottering in on high heels, wearing a heavily bedazzled crown. “I’m the princess!”
“I am Princess Capri!” The other one, a mirror image, barreled in and tried to snag the crown. “Catalina! Stop!” Capri wailed.
The situation went south in seconds.
“I want that crown, Mommy!” Catalina screamed at deafening decibels.
Josie took Beth’s hand and pulled her back. “Your father’s outside.”
“I’m right here!” Dad’s voice boomed over the noise from the open French doors, and Beth turned to find him holding a putter, looking one hundred percent healthy. RJ had been dead-on about the putting practice, she mused.
“Dad. I heard you called in sick.”
He shot a look over her shoulder at Josie. “My wife thought I wasn’t feeling well, but as you can see, I’m great.” He put a hand on her shoulder and led her out through the pool patio, taking her off to the side of the yard where he’d created a beautifully manicured putting green. “Let’s get away from the mayhem.”
“Party here tomorrow, I understand.”
He blew out a sigh. “They’re bringing in some kind of giant bouncy thing and at least twenty-five six-year-olds.”