Swallowing a bite of warm brownie, Olivia circled her spoon in the air between them. “You did really well today. I’m proud of you.”
Ducking his head, Spencer avoided the compliment. “He asked all the questions. I just answered them.”
“It’s harder than it looks. I should know.” Years of therapy practically made her a genius on the topic. Every question Dr. Peterson threw at Spencer, he answered honestly and succinctly. It had taken her most of her adult life to reach that level of openness. Which made her view Spencer in a new light.
He wasn’t as closed off as she had always considered him to be. It made her wonder, how much would he say if asked the right questions?
Or maybe it wasn’t what he was asked, but who was doing the asking.
It didn’t really matter now, though. Attending these sessions together was going to be an eye-opening experience. She’d have a front row seat to Spencer’s memories and his emotions. It was heartening to know that she wouldn’t be left in the dark anymore.
Of course, that also meant that he would know everything in her head, too.
But wasn’t that what relationships were all about, the give and take?
Leaning back against the cushioned padding on his side of the booth, Spencer indicated for her to finish the last of the sundae.
Pulling it closer, she scooped up a spoonful of melting ice cream. “Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if you’d had different parents?”
Spencer gazed wistfully out the large window at the foot traffic passing by. “A million times.”
As he continued to stare off, Spencer said, “I used to imagine that I had a mom and dad who loved me. In my dreams, my mom would smile. I can’t remember my mom ever smiling.”
“Ever?” Olivia asked, swallowing past the sudden lump in her throat.
“Well, I can’t say for sure. By the time I could talk and start doing shit for myself, anytime she would see me, she’d yell at me to go to my room or get out of her house. Of course, that was probably the drugs talking.” He shrugged, all what-are-ya-gonna-do?
Pushing the empty bowl aside, Olivia stretched her arm across the table and turned her palm up. She waited for him to take it before she went on. “I’m sorry you had crappy parents.”
His mouth smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m sorry you had crappy parents, too.”
“Then it’s settled,” Olivia said brightly as she drew back and stood up from the table. “We’ll throw a pity party for two tonight.”
Collecting her purse, she tossed a couple dollars down to cover the bill. Lips twisting up in amusement, Spencer followed.
“Will there be pizza at this party?” Falling into step with her, Spencer slung his arm around her shoulders, keeping her close to his side as they left the diner.
“Of course! What kind of hostess do you take me for?”
“A gorgeous one.” Grasping her chin and turning her face up, Spencer pressed his mouth to hers, sliding his tongue past her teeth, the cool metal of his piercing stroking her bottom lip causing gooseflesh to erupt down her arms, and she couldn’t think of a more perfect moment.
SIXTEEN
This was how it used to be. Spencer and Liv lay on the couch, their limbs tangled together as they absorbed themselves in a movie. It was just the two of them, enjoying each other’s company, taking comfort in each other’s arms. After the day they’d had, they earned it.
It was a rare moment, to have this kind of perfect quiet, unspoiled by worry or concern. Their talk with Dr. Peterson had left them both emotionally raw, the ice cream had helped to soothe their ragged edges, and the movie had completed the effect, lulling them into a sense of untainted comfort.
Spencer held Liv close to his heart, one hand deep in her hair, the other holding her hand on his stomach. It’d been a long time since he’d been able to simply enjoy himself. He’d spent so much time chasing trouble and fending it off, that he’d almost forgotten how good it could be to just settle down with a clear mind.
Liv had always been that for him. From the very first day they met, there had been an inexplicable pull to her. When they’d started hanging out one-on-one, he hadn’t expected to grow so attached. She was the center of the hurricane that had become his life. During the times they were together, he could forget what was heading his way and get lost in the moment.
This was one of those moments, only this time, he was completely free of worry for what would come after he walked out that door. It was a curious feeling, one that left him with the sense of being unmoored and filled with relief at once.
Not having to look over his shoulder was a burden he was glad to have escaped. It was humbling to realize how far he’d come in so short a time.
His slate had been wiped clean. He could truly start over, right here, right now. All he had to do was seize the moment.
And that’s what he was doing, wasn’t he? Seizing the moment. Acknowledgement was the first step toward a new future.
A wave of melancholy crashed over him as he thought of his stepsister, Haley. If only he could give her the same future. All she needed was a chance. He wanted to be the one to give that to her. When he told Dr. Peterson this, he’d reminded Spencer that he was still working to build his own solid platform. With his recovery so fresh, it was imperative that he stay focused on helping himself before he reached out to try and fix someone else’s problems.
He was right, of course. When Spencer really thought about it, he knew that he wasn’t in a position to help anyone else. Not the way he wanted to anyway. Oh, he was going to help Liv. That was nonnegotiable. When Dr. Peterson suggested they might want to consider living separately, they’d both staunchly refused.
Their relationship may not be perfect, but they needed each other. Liv’s incident made it abundantly clear to both of them that neither of them was cut out to be alone. They needed someone by their side who knew them well, cared about them, and wouldn’t pass judgment when they slipped up.
If that wasn’t them, then he didn’t know who was.
In Spencer’s experience, everyone, including Jamison, had a breaking point. They might have been close enough to be family, but Spencer’s actions had eventually pushed him away.
It hurt that Jamison didn’t want anything to do with him. Their talk, though brief, had made Spencer realize just how much damage he had inflicted.
Jamison didn’t trust him anymore—had told him as much. He was hurt and disappointed that Spencer would rip him off. It wasn’t even that Spencer had allowed him to take his place in the ring to face off against his loan shark’s roided-up guard, leading to his shattered hand and inability to do what he loved most—fight in the ring. Though, that certainly didn’t help matters. Jami would have done it again in a heartbeat.
No, it was the betrayal that ultimately ruined their relationship. Jamison—and by default, Spencer, too—didn’t think there was anything left to salvage. So much water had passed under that particular bridge that it had collapsed. But for what it was worth, Jamison still had hope that Spencer could pull his life back together.
And if he did, Jamison let him know that he would be leaving the door cracked open for him.
That sliver of hope had stuck with Spencer. Initially, he’d been too hurt over being rejected and the overwhelming sense of loss to weigh Jami’s words correctly. His self-destructive streak got the better of him and he’d thrown that dumb-ass party which led to Liv’s downfall.
If he spent too much time thinking about it, Spencer would drive himself crazy with all the shoulda woulda coulda, but he was done dwelling on the past.
When they’d left the diner, Liv had made him solemnly promise that neither of them was going to look back. From now on, they would only look forward. That’s exactly what Spencer intended to do.
From here on out, he intended to fix what he could and forgive himself for his mistakes, of which, he had no doubt, there would be many.
The credits rolled until t
he screen turned blue. Lifting his head, Spencer stroked a finger across Liv’s soft cheek. “Hey, you awake?”
Her breathing remained even and her lack of response told him she’d fallen asleep. Not wanting to disturb her, he briefly considered just relaxing and sleeping on the couch, but being in the exact same position for pushing two hours was growing uncomfortable. And the longer he focused on it, the more fatigued he felt.
Carefully, Spencer lifted her head and extricated himself from her hold. Once he was on his feet, he turned back around and slipped an arm under Liv’s shoulders and knees. Gently, he lifted her slight weight and carried her down the hall to his room, where he laid her down on.
Once she was settled beneath the blankets, he took a moment to look at her. Liv was a beautiful woman no matter the time of day. True, she was a blonde bombshell capable of attracting most men, but her beauty ran deeper than the skin.
She was a complicated woman, with demons all her own, but she handled the card she was dealt with a grace that awed him. She didn’t just lie down and die like he’d done so many times. Instead, she always got up, dusted herself off, and continued on.
She was someone to look up to, someone to admire.
And he did. He admired her so much. Even though he knew she didn’t see the same quality in herself. He was sure that’s how most people felt. It was the curse of being human. People couldn’t gauge themselves accurately. That’s why it was so important to have someone in his life that could see him for who he truly was—that way he could never get lost.
With a soft sigh, Liv turned over and snuggled deeper into the pillow. The moment broken, Spencer rounded the foot of the bed, stripping off his shirt and pants as he went. In only his boxers, he drew back the blankets and slipped under them. His head barely had time to touch the pillow before Olivia’s warm body rolled into his.
Lifting his arm, Spencer pulled her the rest of the way, tucking her warm body against the side of his. It was a perfect fit, confirming his earlier belief that they were exactly what each other needed to get through anything.
Closing his eyes, it only took a matter of moments before he felt the heaviness of sleep grab on and pull him down.
***
Olivia awoke bathed in an incredible heat all along her backside. It reminded her of days when she and Ally would spend time together lying out poolside on their beach towels while the summer sun baked them a nice golden brown.
More comfortable than ever, she burrowed deeper into the pillow, hoping sleep would reclaim her so she wouldn’t have to get up. She wasn’t ready to leave the bed yet.
That’s when she felt the mattress shift, and she realized she wasn’t in her bed. The heat grew more intense as Spencer’s body curved against hers, jamming a rock hard erection into her lower back.
She wiggled, trying to inch away, but his heavy arm draped over her, holding her in place.
And wedging that stiff member along the crease of her buttocks and between her thighs.
The feel of it there, tucked up against her body, made her shiver with desire. It had been so long since they’d been together that way. She missed the feel of his body against hers. Missed the feel of it pressing in deep, the way he masterfully played her into a frenzy of absolute bliss.
Instead of moving away, she found her hips pressing back, seeking more contact. The subtle movement of her hips against his pulled a sleepy moan from him, and she paused, waiting to see if he’d woken up. When he didn’t make any further sounds or moves, she pushed back again…and felt the head of his cock burst through the opening of his boxers.
The feel of his hard flesh between her legs caused a ripple of sensation to move through her, settling into a throbbing ache between her legs. Biting her lip, she continued the steady motion until the small beads of precum that leaked from his tip created a slick glide. This time, she moaned.
It was a small, keening sound that barely left her lips, but in the absolute quiet of the room, it might as well have been an alarm.
She knew she should stop. She had no idea if Spencer even wanted this. He was still sleeping, which meant she was taking advantage of him. She was too ashamed to admit that even that wasn’t enough to make her stop what she was doing. It felt too good, the pleasure too much for her to abandon. She needed this. With him.
She needed to feel close to him again, the way they used to be, and sex felt like a really good start in that direction. There was nothing that could bring a couple closer than that. In the right situation, sex stripped away all inhibitions, all masks, and created a kind of soul-baring intimacy that had the power to solidify relationships.
That’s what this felt like to her, a move toward solidifying them as a couple. She wanted to strip away the walls between them and bring them closer together, creating an unbreakable bond.
Spencer’s arm tightened, crushing against her ribcage. As she rocked her hips faster, rubbing his cock against her soaked panties, his breathing deepened, gusting against the back of her neck where he’d buried his face.
She wasn’t sure if he was awake now, but she couldn’t imagine anyone sleeping through this. Her body was on fire, her insides an inferno of pleasure so profound, her eyes crossed beneath her closed lids.
She wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep this up, but as her legs began to tremble and her muscles shook with her building orgasm, she managed to tap into her last vestiges of energy. It was just enough to get her to the edge, and when she felt Spencer’s cock swell between her thighs and his pained moan as he spilled against her flesh, she came—hard.
“Oh, God, yes,” Olivia cried out, gripping the blanket as her muscles clenched down hard. The orgasm felt as if it lasted forever, rather than mere seconds, and left her gasping for breath.
She was still trying to collect herself when she was forced to her back. Rolling on top of her, Spencer split her legs open to accommodate his larger frame and his eyes, a stormy blue, bored into hers.
“That was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”
Caught red-handed—or wet-thighed—Olivia blushed furiously.
“Don’t go getting embarrassed on me,” Spencer admonished. “I like that you used me. Getting you off is my pleasure.” With a wan smile, he reached between them and ran his fingers through his semen. “Obviously.”
“Spence,” she complained, covering her eyes with her hand.
“No, baby. Don’t hide from me.” Pulling her hand away, Spencer forced her to look at him. “As much as I enjoyed making a mess out of you, I want to do this right. The next time you come, it’s going to be around my dick.”
He rocked his hips against hers, and she was shocked to realize that he was still hard. Looked like that time apart had some benefits after all.
“That’s right, Liv,” Spencer crooned, his voice low and rough and dark with promise. “I’m going to fuck you hard, and this time, it’s my name you’ll be shouting.”
A gasp tore out of her as Spencer shoved his thick cock inside of her, diving all the way to the hilt in one smooth motion.
SEVENTEEN
Liv arched her back, placing her gorgeous breasts in his central vision. Unable to resist the allure of her pert nipple, he dipped down and sucked the rosy bud into his mouth. Teasing it with his tongue, he reveled in the soft mewling sounds she made as her head pressed back into the pillows.
Her golden hair fanned out across the sheets in a wild tangle, her lips parted on a surprised gasp as he plowed into her tight sheath. Spencer couldn’t get enough. Just the sight of her lost in the pleasure he provided, threatened to make him lose control.
It took every ounce of his concentration to hold out. There was no more beautiful sight than Liv in the throes of a hard orgasm. And he loved being the one to put that look on her face.
Sitting back on his knees, Spencer lifted her legs up, placing her ankles on his shoulders. Lifting his hips, he watched as his cock hammered into her. The view of his body disappearing into hers was so
erotic, so damn hot, he had to grit his teeth with the renewed effort not to come then and there.
“Spencer—”
Her breathy plea jerked his attention back up to her face, and he held her gaze, watching as her features crumpled in rapture. Inside, her muscles clamped down hard, milking his cock as she came around him.
Wanting to follow her down, Spencer leaned forward, bending her in half and driving his fists into the mattress beside her head as he set a brutal pace. Over and over, he slammed into her, her wet heat making the glide fluid. Tingling built at the base of his spine and sweat dripped from his body. Spencer’s lips peeled back from his teeth as the pleasure reached its zenith…and then, with one last surge, he came.
“Liv! Fuck, Liv! Holy…shit!” he shouted as he emptied himself inside her.
When it was over, and all his strength left him, Spencer released her legs from his shoulders and dropped down between them, resting his cheek in the valley between her breasts as he struggled to reclaim his breath and regulate his racing heart.
He might have lost consciousness. There was a brief period in which the world ceased to exist outside of the sound of her beating heart beneath his ear. Wrapping his arms around her, he held onto her tight as she combed her fingers through his hair.
He’d always loved the sensation. There was something so calming, so serene and perfect about being in the arms of someone who he knew cared about him, and them not being afraid to show it.
He wanted to give that back to her…and more. Liv needed a protector, someone to be strong for her when she lacked the strength to stand on her own. That’s what he wanted to be for her. At that moment, he thought he just might be able to follow through on it, too.
She let loose a long, soft sigh. Sensing something was off, Spencer lifted his head to look down at her. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh nothing,” she said, brushing off whatever was bothering her. “I was just thinking about how happy I feel right now.”