Having learned his lesson, Tyrion held his tongue.
“What kind of mother leaves her twelve year old son?”
He certainly had no answer for that.
“A bad one,” added Kate. “That’s the sort of mother who abandons her child. I’m the worst mother in the world.”
Tyrion let out a low laugh.
“That isn’t a joke,” she told him emphatically. “I’m serious.”
“I wasn’t laughing at you,” he explained. “I was just thinking that I’ve got you beat when it comes to bad parenting. You aren’t even close.”
“That’s true,” she agreed. “But I’m the worst mother.”
“I’d argue against that,” he told her. “I can think of at least one who was far worse.”
“Oh,” said Kate, realizing he meant her mother. “I guess I come by it honestly then.”
“You are nothing like her,” replied Tyrion.
“If anyone could judge that, it would be you,” she said with a wan smile.
He gave her a sour look, “That was low.”
“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I’m feeling mean right now. I’m not myself.”
“You’ve been keeping bad company,” he said, and then he squeezed her shoulders again.
Chapter 33
The deepening dusk had cast everything in a gloom as he stared at his old home. The lighting matched his mood.
Kate poked him. “Staring at the house won’t help.”
“I don’t want to tell them.”
“It won’t get any easier if you wait,” she observed.
“I’ve taken everything from them,” he said sadly.
Kate climbed down, urging him to do the same. “That isn’t true. They never would have had Haley to begin with if you hadn’t made so many mistakes, or if you hadn’t taken her away from her grandfather.”
“Or if her mother hadn’t committed suicide because of me,” he added.
“Life is hard, Daniel,” said Kate, taking his head between her two hands. “But it would be hard, even if you weren’t in it. People die, sooner or later. People get sick, bad things happen. You aren’t to blame for all of it.”
He nodded, and together they walked to the door. His father answered it after the first knock. He glanced back and forth between the two of them before asking, “What do you want?”
“Alan,” said Helen’s voice from the interior, “Who is it?”
“It’s our son,” said Alan. He stepped back to allow them to enter, but there was no joy in his face.
Tyrion motioned for Kate to step inside and then ducked through the low doorway, following her. His mother was already embracing Kate, but she hurried to wrap her arms around him as well.
“Something smells good,” mentioned Kate, sniffing the air.
Helen rubbed her hands on her apron. “It’s just a mutton stew,” she said humbly.
“We get very little meat, other than wild game,” said Kate with mild enthusiasm. “There are no sheep among the She’Har.”
“There isn’t much left,” said Helen nervously, glancing at her husband. “I wasn’t expecting company.”
“They can have mine,” said Alan sullenly. “I’ve lost my appetite anyway.” His eyes never left his son.
“We aren’t staying,” said Tyrion. “We came to deliver bad news.”
“There’s a surprise,” said his father.
“It’s Haley isn’t it?” said Helen quietly. She had one hand on the back of one of the wooden kitchen chairs. Pulling it out, she sat down as though she worried her legs might fail her.
Kate nodded, a look of sympathy on her face.
“She’s dead,” said Tyrion. “The She’Har forced her to fight in the arena, just as I did.”
“Who killed her?” said Alan, an angry intensity in his voice.
He had debated with himself for some time already, how to answer that question. “She fought several times and won, but they matched her against Brigid, and she took her own life rather than hurt her sister,” he said. “She died to protect her.”
“Sick bastards!” exclaimed Alan, outraged. “They’re a plague on this earth.”
Helen glared at him, her eyes questioning his meaning.
“The forest gods,” he declared. “They’re a pox. They’ve ruined my son, and now they’ve taken the only daughter we’ll ever have.”
“I hate the She’Har as much or more than any man alive, but you do have thirteen other grandchildren still there,” Tyrion informed him. “I’m trying to keep them alive as best I can.”
“Grandchildren?” spat Allen. “Is that what I’m supposed to call them? I barely know those kids, and most of ‘em hate me for being your father! Haley was my daughter, because Helen and I raised her, despite what you did to her mother. I loved that girl, and now she’s gone. Do you honestly think of yourself as a father to those children?”
He stared at his father. His face, his skin, no, his entire body had gone cold.
Allen Tennick’s face showed undisguised disgust. “You’re nothing to them. They don’t even have a name for what you are, and if they did, it would be something too shameful to use in decent conversation.”
“Allen!” cried Helen, shocked at her husband’s tirade.
Tyrion stood in mute shock, but Kate stepped forward, and her right arm swung out, slapping his father across the cheek, hard. The sound of it echoed in the silence that followed.
Kate’s hands were balled into fists, and she was so angry her body shook, as though it could barely contain her emotion. “You, don’t get to say such things to him. You weren’t there. You haven’t lived through what he has. You haven’t seen the things he’s seen. Your son has suffered in ways you can’t even understand. I’ve seen him, crying over their bodies. I’ve seen him caring for them when they were hurt. He may not be the kind of father you were, but I’ve seen his heart, and you have no right to judge it!”
“Get out,” said Allen. “I don’t want to see your cursed face on my property again.”
Kate inhaled sharply, preparing to tear into the old man once more, but Tyrion put his hand on her shoulder. “Leave it, Cat.” He took a step back, pulling her with him.
There was a scuffle behind them as Helen shoved her husband out of the doorway. “Move you drunken fool!” she swore at Allen. Once she was past him, she ran to the wagon, throwing her arms around Tyrion before he could climb up. “Don’t hate him, Daniel,” she said. “He’s been like that since they took Haley. He can’t forgive himself, and he’s taking it out on everyone around him. He drinks every day.”
“Drunk or not, his words are still true,” said Tyrion, returning the hug. “I’m sorry Mother.”
“None of it is as simple as…,” started Kate, but Helen held up a hand, shushing her.
“I know, dear, and he knows it too. We’ll get past this, one way or another. He just needs time,” said Helen.
“Take care of him,” said Tyrion.
“One way or another…,” Helen answered, her eyes narrowing as she looked back toward the house, “…I’ll fix him.” She gave Kate a stern look then, “And you, I can’t say I understand what you’re doing, but I’m glad of it. Take care of my son for me.”
***
The next week brought another round of arena battles, but once again Tyrion’s children dominated their matches. Their continued practice, and training with one another made them far more capable than their opponents, even when dealing with the special advantages that their enemies had.
Ryan’s plans to expand the buildings around Albamarl were proceeding faster than anyone had expected. The fact that all of them were now capable mages was a large part of that, for it greatly simplified many of the most laborious tasks, such as quarrying and moving the stone he required for his projects.
Tom Hayes arrived in the week after that, bringing with him five wagon loads of special goods, food, and other supplies. Among those things were twenty chickens, two goats, fi
ve pigs, and even a few sheep. It wasn’t enough to allow them to start butchering for meat, but they would have eggs and some milk.
Many of the parents of Tyrion’s children came as well, bringing with them gifts for their sons and daughters. Much of what they brought was useless—clothing, coats, shoes, and other wearables, but amid the tears and bittersweet reunions, no one made a point to mention that to them.
There was a new feeling in the air, something that went beyond the fresh scent of new leaves and spring flowers. Tyrion’s children had found new hope. Their lives had changed dramatically, something that each week’s combat reminded them of, but it was not all bad. They slept in beds now, in private rooms, and they came together daily for practice and to build and expand their new home. Regular shipments of goods from Colne had improved the taste of their daily meals, which might have produced the biggest lift in their spirits, but Tyrion believed it was something more than that.
It was contact with their parents, with the outside world in general.
Just the prospect of seeing their families occasionally had changed their outlook. Kate’s son, Aaron, had ridden with the second load of goods and seeing him had brightened her mood for the rest of the week that followed.
Tyrion sat in the kitchen brooding about it one morning, watching them practice through the window. Breakfast was done, but he had stayed indoors. He was no longer needed. Looking down at the soggy tea leaves in the bottom of his teacup, he felt almost as empty as the vessel in his hand.
“Why are you so glum this morning?” asked Kate, stepping up behind him and putting her hands on his shoulders.
“I honestly don’t know,” he replied, turning his head to kiss her hand.
“Things are far better than you ever led me to expect they could be,” she told him.
Tyrion sighed, “That might be it. I’m not used to good things.”
“You said things were good for you after they let you stop fighting in the arena. Didn’t you get comfortable with peace during those years?”
“Not really,” he admitted. “It was quiet, but I felt as though I was living in a gilded cage, a somber imprisonment. Things were peaceful, but I had nothing. Now…,” he gestured toward the window.
“…Now you have something to lose,” she finished for him. Leaning over, she kissed his cheek, “That’s the best part of living. You deserve to have something to lose. Worrying over it is the best sign that something good has happened to you.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of impending doom.
“What about your girlfriend,” she teased. “Lyrall…,” she paused, struggling to remember the name properly.
“Lyralliantha, she wasn’t my girlfriend,” corrected Tyrion. “She was my owner, and yes, my lover as well, but there was never any doubt about who owned who.” Yet again he found his hand at his throat, feeling for a collar that was no longer there.
“You told me that she was responsible for you being allowed to live without the collar,” pointed out Kate. “That she’s part of some movement to change the way the She’Har treat our kind.”
“You can’t weigh their actions the same way you do a person’s,” said Tyrion. “They don’t think like we do. You’ve met Byovar and Thillmarius. You should have some notion now of how alien they are.”
Kate nodded, “I don’t understand them at all, but I do know something about women.”
He laughed, “It always comes back to that doesn’t it?”
“Whatever else she is, or what she thinks, she’s in love with you,” declared Kate with a certain amount of iron in her voice.
“And that makes you jealous,” added Tyrion.
“No,” she said, but then she corrected herself, “well maybe, but it’s more than that.”
He raised one eyebrow.
“When you had sex with Layla,” continued Kate, “It made me angry, but I wasn’t really jealous.”
“Why not?”
“I knew you didn’t love her. You were trying to punish me. It was all about you and me. I care about your heart more than any of the rest of it,” she explained.
“You’re saying I’m in love with her?” he asked. His stomach tensed as he said the words. He knew it was a sensitive topic for Kate, and he didn’t know how to untangle his own feelings on the subject.
“Aren’t you?”
“I hate the She’Har with a passion I can’t even find the words to express.”
Kate nodded, “Yes, but we aren’t talking about the She’Har. We’re talking about Lyralliantha.”
Tyrion took a deep breath. “I didn’t really understand her when I came here. I was young and stupid, and she was beautiful. Later I understood that she was my owner, and I thought her motives toward me were more like those of someone toward their prized pet, but what I didn’t understand was the risk she had taken.”
“Risk?”
“Her grove, the Illeniel She’Har, they never took slaves. Whether or not they believed we were animals or people, they didn’t believe in unnecessary suffering. She risked her future when she broke their rule and put the collar on me, but she did it to save my life. Since then, I’m not sure I would have stayed sane without her. I was alone, and the people of Ellentrea were more alien to me than even she was.”
Kate thought of Layla and nodded. And she’s one of the most normal ones probably, she thought. Watching Daniel struggling to express himself, she braced herself before speaking again, “Daniel, just be honest. I won’t hate you for having feelings for her. It won’t be easy, but I’m not a girl anymore.”
“It’s different,” he said at last. “She wants to learn. She has a heart, but she doesn’t understand herself. More than anything, though, she’s family. I think that…” He stopped, unsure how to go on.
“Just say it, Daniel.”
“It isn’t easy to tell the girl you’ve loved your entire life, that you’ve fallen in love with another woman,” he answered, his stomach turning as the words passed his lips. “Especially when you still love that girl.”
“I’ve been married, Daniel, and I still love Seth, despite all our fights and our problems.”
“But you don’t want to be his wife anymore,” said Tyrion. “You don’t want to live with him.”
She nodded, “I had a choice, and I made it. What would you choose?”
He looked into her eyes, “If I could go back, or if I could escape all of this, I would take you and forget everything else.”
“But you’d still love her.”
“Part of me would,” he confessed.
“That’s good enough for me then,” she said, reaching out to stroke his cheek. “You can’t very well run away can you?”
Tyrion looked out the window, he could see Emma and Violet guarding one another as they practiced against Abby and David. “Once maybe, but now…”
“I wouldn’t love you if you could abandon them. I can barely stand myself for leaving Aaron with his father,” said Kate. She paused thoughtfully and then continued, “We need her.”
“We?”
“You, me, your children, without your She’Har lover, none of us would have any hope. She’s probably the only reason they’ve let you do all of this,” she said, waving her arms around to indicate the house and the buildings beyond it.”
“What are you proposing?”
“When she finally returns, if necessary, you should put me aside.”
“I can’t do that.”
“You’ll do what you have to do,” she said emphatically.
“She already knows about you,” he informed her. “I don’t know what she thinks exactly, but it won’t be as simple as that. I can’t lie to her.”
“You never could lie to me either,” said Kate ruefully.
“No, I mean I can’t lie to her. Whenever she touches my mind, she sees my thoughts and feelings. She already knows our past, and sooner or later, she will know about this,” he explained.
“Oh.” br />
“Yeah,” he replied with equal eloquence.
Kate stood, smoothing her hair with one hand out of habit. “Nothing is ever simple around here.”
“No it isn’t” agreed Tyrion. “What are you going to do?”
“Start working on lunch,” she said pragmatically. “Send one of them in to help, I think today is David’s turn.”
“I meant about the future,” he clarified.
“That will just have to take care of itself,” responded Kate. “Let’s hope she’s as understanding as I am.”
Chapter 34
A month passed as spring deepened and the world exploded with renewed growth. The arena battles had already become a matter of routine. Tyrion’s children were veterans now, and one on one matches held little challenge for them. Their bodies were fully tattooed now, with enchantments that gave them both weapons and shields that made them untouchable. It was a point of pride however, that they never relied upon them.
Tyrion had impressed upon them the fact that they should improve their skills rather than rely upon their tattoos for victory. As a result they had become adept at manipulating the air and soil, at creating fine webs of aythar to detect invisible opponents, and at using impromptu shields to control the field of battle, forcing their opponents into positions more favorable to them.
The arena had become a game for them, and if they were still sickened by the inevitable ending of each match, they had learned to harden their hearts against it. The children of Colne were becoming masters of tactical combat, implacable killers without peers among the slaves of the other groves.
So it was inevitable that the She’Har would change the rules. Tyrion wasn’t even surprised when Koralltis gave him the news, but he didn’t expect the form that it took.
“How many?” he asked again, to make sure he had heard the arena master correctly.
“Any two you select from your own,” repeated the She’Har.
“No, how many did you say they would face?”
“Six,” answered Koralltis.
“They’ve never fought more than one at a time. That seems like a big jump to make.”
“We have not forgotten your years in the arena Tyrion. The other groves are certain that they would be able to manage two at once already, even three might not be a challenge. What is not known is how they will work in tandem. The betting has grown stale, but this combination of numbers has created a strong interest. If they win, the Illeniel Grove will reap a large reward,” explained Byovar, who stood nearby.