“What the hell was that?” I ask Niko with horrified eyes. “He was a…?”
“Vampire. Yes,” Niko simply states, ushering me to his car.
“But…no. That’s impossible. There’s no such thing!” Inside, I want to scream but the words pass my lips in a hoarse whisper.
Niko shrugs. “Months ago you probably thought we didn’t exist either. But here I am. And here you are.”
I try to wrap my muffled thoughts around everything that has just transpired in the span of 10 minutes. I am sure I was drugged and was about to be raped. Just when I thought that I had been completely defenseless, a powerful force swept over me, filling me with the strength to fight him off and beat that asshole to a bloody pulp. Then Niko swept in with a vampire? This shit just keeps blowing the lid off my sanity.
Niko ushers me into a dark SUV then climbs into the driver’s seat, hurriedly starting it up just as a clap of thunder rocks the sky. Rain pours down in a sheet of water and it seems impossible for him to be able to see far enough to drive though he makes it to my apartment complex effortlessly. Neither of us are eager to exit.
“Is he…dead?” I already know the answer but I have to ask anyway. I’m not quite sure how I feel about it yet.
“Yes.”
“Really, Niko? Vampires?”
“Just imagine that everything you thought was myth is actually true. And everything you thought was real is an illusion.”
An illusion. My human life, everything I’ve known, has been an illusion.
“Gabriella, do you have a death wish?” Niko asks, breaking me from my musings. “Because if you do, just tell me now so I can stop caring so much. I don’t like that feeling. And it’s selfish of you to put us all through hell just because you feel slighted.”
“Niko, that’s not what I’m doing.”
“Really?” he asks, whipping his head towards me, suddenly furious. Lightning flashes across the sky followed by a horrifying clap of thunder, making him appear ghostly ominous. “Because you could have fooled me. You’ve been drinking yourself to death for weeks, not giving a damn about being cognizant about your surroundings. I’ve had to follow you every night just to ensure you made it home in one piece. But tonight takes the cake. You fucked up, baby girl.”
I let my head fall, knowing that he is right. “I know. I know I did. I just felt so…I don’t know. Alone. Dead inside.”
“You feel alone? You are probably the person least alone on Earth. And you have no idea what it means to be dead inside. No fucking clue. You don’t know what feeling deadened is until you have to suck the life out of an innocent just to survive.”
I lift my head to meet his gaze, his eyes glassy and bright in the darkness. “I’m sorry, Niko. I really am.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not the one you need to be apologizing to. Dorian almost killed himself tonight. He nearly killed himself to save you. I almost lost my brother, the only person that gives a damn about me, so he could save you from being raped. I know you have your issues with him but just think about that the next time you try to throw your life away. Think about how many people will hurt.”
“What do you mean?” Dorian almost killed himself? How?
“Whatever drugs were in your system made it impossible for you to defend yourself. And now that you have chosen not to wear the pendant he gave you, it’s harder to track you. But whatever you took tonight…it made you impossible to find. He felt your fear and he was also weakened. And since we knew we couldn’t get to you fast enough, he used through you. He willed power to you so you could fight your attacker.”
He shakes his head then turns to me with a softer yet stern expression. “I’m not saying you have to forgive him for what he’s done. But if you still doubt his affections for you, than you are a fool. And being who and what you are, you can’t afford to be foolish. Get it together, Gabs.”
I look at Niko in disbelief, part of me wanting to be annoyed at his candor but the better part of me knowing that his tough love is necessary. I’ve been more than careless with my life. I felt that because my heart was broken that somehow my life was as well. Even with knowing everything I was meant for and all the people that are counting on me, I didn’t care. Only Dorian mattered to me. I had become everything I had always despised. I had let my pathetic, irrational ‘girl’ instincts override my sanity.
“You are absolutely right, Niko.” I reach over and grasp his hand, my knuckles covered in drying blood. He doesn’t seem to mind and relaxes under my touch. “Thank you. I needed to hear this. I’ll do better, I promise.”
Niko nods and flashes me a sheepish half-smile. “I know you did. I care about you, baby girl. We all do. Don’t make it for nothing.” And with that, he opens the car door and we brave the elements on the way to my front door.
Luckily, Morgan is fast asleep and we are able to sneak in without any questions about my blood-stained clothing. Niko heads straight to my bathroom and begins to run me a bath. He urges me to undress so he can dispose of my bloodied clothing and doesn’t even bat an eyelash at my naked, battered frame. Then with a kiss on my cheek, he retreats hastily to give me some privacy.
Soft music wafts from the stereo system in my room as I soak in the tub, eager to scrub the blood from my skin. I wash my body until it is pink and raw, not even aware of the tears streaming down my face. Tonight could have ended totally different for me if it hadn’t been for Dorian. I could have been killed at the hands of that monster. And I have no one to blame but myself. Niko was right; I’ve been careless with my life for weeks. I wasn’t being fair to my family and friends and they deserve so much better. They deserve for me to be better.
Muffled voices come from the other side of the door and I sit up to hear more clearly. I can’t make out what they’re saying but I can tell that they are two distinct male voices. As quietly as I can, I lift myself out of the water and wrap myself in a towel. I hold my breath as I press my ear against the door.
“How is she? Is she hurt? Did she go into shock?”
“She’s fine. She’s stronger than you think she is. And you gave her a lot. Too much.”
“I know.”
“Father isn’t going to be happy with you.”
“Fuck Father. I wasn’t going to keep her defenseless. And if he had been holding up his end of the deal, she would not have even been in danger.”
“I know.” A long beat passes. “So now what? What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. Not much I can do.”
“I won’t let you die. I’ll bring someone to you. A willing soul-”
“No, Brother. I will not allow you to do that. I’ll be ok.”
A painful groan rings out. “No. You won’t be. You’re all I have left. Please let me help you.”
Dorian is here. And judging by the conversation, he’s in trouble. Before common sense has the opportunity to kick in, I swing the door open, startling them both. He’s really here. And though he looks weary and weakened, his beauty causes the knot in my throat to break with a sob.
“Dorian,” I gasp. I drink in the sight of his tall frame, dressed in dark clothing and drenched in rainwater as if he walked all the way here.
He nods solemnly. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have come here. I just had to know you were safe.” His voice is hoarse and almost ancient-sounding. Visible lines around his eyes and mouth mar his face and he is ghostly pale.
I suck in a breath and try to regain my resolve. With tentative steps, I make my way to him and extend my hand. “This doesn’t change anything between us, but let me help you. I owe you that much.”
Dorian furrows his brow slightly then looks to his brother, who is nodding enthusiastically. I can’t fully understand why he is being so unsure of himself. He’s never hesitated to breathe me in the past.
“I’ll be right here if you…lose control,” Niko says reassuringly, reading his apprehension.
Dorian looks back to me, shame and sorrow painting hi
s haggard face. “I can’t let you do this, Gabriella. I don’t deserve it, not after what I did to you.” His eyes sweep my frame and I know he is blaming himself for the negative changes in my appearance.
I shake my head, dropping my hand. “Dorian, you may have broken my heart, but I broke me. I did this. What I’ve been doing, what happened to me tonight, that wasn’t your fault.” Take another step forward, close enough to smell his intoxicating scent mixed with rainwater. “Let me do this for you. It would make me feel better. I don’t want to feel like I owe you anything.” Again I extend my hand to him.
After a long beat, he takes my hand, and we both gasp at the contact. It’s been so long since he’s touched me and with his hand grasping mine, I feel whole again. I know it isn’t healthy to be so reliant on him for comfort, but I can’t help what my body feels or what my heart wants. I instantly forget that Niko is standing merely feet away from us or that anyone else even exists.
“Gabriella,” he whispers, bringing my hand to his face. He kisses my palm gently before resting it against his cheek. I feel his skin heat under my touch.
I nod. “It’s ok. You need to heal. I owe you this much,” I reply in a breathy voice. Feeling his lips on my skin again revitalizes every weakened, dejected part of me.
Again he kisses my palm then inhales. He continues this ritual until his lips travel from my hand to the inside of my elbow, successfully making me weak in the knees. At feeling my legs buckle, he leads me the chaise lounge only a few feet away without even looking up or stopping. I’m a panting, sighing mess by the time he looks up at me with bright, glowing blue eyes.
“I missed you so much, little girl,” he murmurs against my skin, the breath of his mouth warming my insides and heating my core. “I haven’t breathed since the day you left me. I ache all over for you.”
I close my eyes and turn my head, not quite sure how to respond. What does this mean? Have I totally just confused things even more? How could I possibly turn away from him now when my body begs for his touch?
“Nothing has changed, Dorian. You hurt me beyond repair. But that doesn’t mean you deserve to die.” It takes every ounce of willpower for me to pull my hand away but I do, my head still turned away from his perfect face. Somehow I feel it will be easier to say goodbye if I don’t have to look at him but it still hurts like hell nonetheless.
“Of course,” he replies quietly. “I love you, Gabriella. More than my next breath. More than anyone could ever love another.”
The air shifts and emptiness fills me once more. I know he’s gone but I still don’t bother to open my eyes. Facing that immense loneliness is more than I can bear at this point.
“You want me to stay?” Niko asks after a few silent moments. I had forgotten he was here.
I shake my head just as the first tears escape. “No. I need to be alone,” I sniffle. Finally I bring my watery eyes to him, his face filled with sympathy. “Don’t worry. I heard you tonight. I won’t go down that road again.” Niko nods and begins to turn towards the door. “Hey, Niko, wait. Can I ask you something?”
He stops in his tracks and turns to face me. “Anything.”
I swipe away my tears and take a few calming breaths. “Tonight…Cyrus…how?” I can’t even bring myself to say the word vampire.
Niko walks over and sits beside me on the chaise. “You know how legend states that vampires were first created by a curse? That witches made them?” I nod my reply and he continues. “Well, that wasn’t entirely false. We, the Dark, created vampires. When a Dark One dies, the magic leaves its vessel, which is the human body. It becomes completely lifeless. A spell was cast centuries ago that made it so that we could resurrect our fallen brothers and sisters, though they would still be technically dead. In order for them to continue to walk the Earth, they would have to consume human blood. Now they serve us, so to speak. We don’t turn all of the fallen Dark, only the most elite.”
My eyes broaden with shock and my jaw drops. Holy hell! How do I even begin to digest this revelation? Un-fucking-believable!
“Don’t worry,” Niko continues, smirking at my expression. “They won’t hurt you. We control them. They are completely under the Dark’s rule. And if you should ever find yourself in need, they are completely at your disposal.”
I swallow laboriously. “But I...I thought that vampires were like the most powerful, feared creatures in history?”
Niko guffaws as if I have stated something outlandish. “Far from the truth, baby girl. But we don’t correct the rumors as a way to keep the secret of our existence concealed.”
I nod, letting it all sink in. There is still so much to learn. I feel like I have even penetrated the surface. I try to give Niko a reassuring grin. “Thanks for telling me. It was a good distraction.”
He returns with a genuine, warm smile of his own. “I thought it would be.” He leans forward and presses his lips against my forehead. The gesture is sweet and chaste, causing my eyes to flutter closed. He’s gone before they even reopen.
No ghosts came to me that night as I lay down to sleep. No haunted dreams plagued my subconscious. Just the precious memory of Dorian’s lips against my skin and my newfound tenacity to begin to live a full life without him.
Chapter Twenty Four
New Year's Eve
I told myself I wouldn’t take my dreary disposition into the New Year. It just wouldn’t feel right to be down and mopey when everyone would be so buoyant and happy. I used to be the same way and honestly, I want to be way again. As much as I hate to admit it, I craved the mediocrity of the old Gabs. The Gabs that got excited about a night out with friends. The Gabs that relished an evening of carnival games and rides. The human Gabs. I want to be that girl again.
“You look…good,” Morgan remarks behind me as we assess my outfit choice in the full-length mirror. We’d been working at healing our friendship in the past week or so. I really owed her an apology for my behavior and as always, she forgave me without question. She really is a better friend to me than I am to her.
“But?” I ask with a grimace.
“Well…let’s be honest. Your ass has always been one of your best assets. And right now, it’s pretty non-existent,” she snickers. “If you don’t start eating, I will pin you down and force feed you. I am not above bodily force.”
“I do eat,” I say quietly, though even I can’t deny the negative effect my weight loss has caused.
“But I gotta admit, the tats are hot! I love them. They really fit your whole ‘I’m-a-bad-girl-and-I-just-don’t-give-a-fuck’ persona.”
My mouth works into a small smile as I adjust the strapless shimmery top I’ve chosen for our night on the town. Morgan wanted me in a dress, of course, but she didn’t press the issue once I had agreed to go out. It was a big step for me, officially showing that I had returned to the living. Yes, I was alive. Not a ghost, not an empty shell. I had chosen to live again for my family and friends. And for me.
If I am being honest with myself, I had become pretty damn pathetic. Some girls cry and scream for days after a breakup. Some eat their feelings, trying to fill the void with pints of Ben & Jerry’s. Others even take bats and bricks to their estranged lover’s car. Well me…I drank myself into numbness and became withdrawn. In many ways, my coping mechanism was worst. It not only hurt me, it hurt everyone that I cared for. I became exactly what Jared said I was- a liability.
So I am on a mission, Operation: Happy Back. Sure, my love life had turned to shit and there was pretty much a supernatural bounty hunter after me. But somehow, some way, I am alive and for that reason alone, I have something to live for.
After another twenty minutes of the Morgan once-over, we hop in her Mustang and head towards Mansion, a super trendy club known for its once a year blowouts. We check our coats and thrust ourselves into the rambunctious crowd, the sounds of noise-makers, cheers and music vibrating the vast space.
“What? No VIP, Morgan?” I ask, as we flag down one of many barten
ders.
“Girl, please! On New Years Eve? Not even baby Jesus himself has that kinda clout!”
We make our rounds, stopping to chat with former classmates and friends. I plaster on my most carefree smile, hoping like hell that I even slightly resemble my former self. It’s a feat, and between the sideways glances and sympathetic smiles, I know that word has gotten around. It would be so easy to just fall back into my old habits. With all the alcohol circulating, I could simply grab a few shots and numb the ache slowly making its way back into my chest. I’d be able to ignore the uncomfortable looks and half-hearted greetings.
But I can’t return to that, not only for my sake but for Morgan’s as well. That night in the dark alley really opened my eyes. The thought of feeling so violated and helpless is one that I hope to never revisit. I still haven’t told any of my friends or family about the incident in fear that they’d try to force me to report it. And there’s no way I could explain why there is absolutely no trace of my attacker anywhere.
“Hey, look who’s here.” Morgan points to three faces I hadn’t seen in weeks. Maybe closer to months. It’s hard to really tell how long I had been buried underneath my own grief.
“Hey, ladies,” Miguel smiles, moving in to kiss Morgan on the cheek. He gives me an awkward one armed hug and I instantly feel like shit. When did things get so weird?
“Gabs!” James exclaims, pulling me into his arms. He squeezes me tight before pulling back to assess my frame with a raised brow, yet he doesn’t comment. “See you got some new ink. Nice.”
I smile at James warmly before turning my attention to his younger brother. Jared’s guarded green eyes scan the length of my body before resting on my face. The uneasiness that presented itself upon his approach is quickly replaced with warmth and familiarity.